“What did you think it would be? Snails and frogs?’’ Max laughs and I snap my head to him.
“Um, not to piss on your cornflakes and all, but it’s the French that eat snails and frogs,’’ I laugh and glance gratefully at Antonio when he places two cappuccinos in front of me and Max.
“Oh yeah, well, shit,’’ he laughs back, not caring he just sounded like a complete dork. It just makes me smile wider at him.
“Next week I make you dinner, my favourite meatballs,’’ Antonio suggests. “You come here about five, I have table ready for you and wine,’’ he winks at Max and Max grins back. Me? I’m obviously missing something.
“Um, we’re not usually here that late,’’ I mention, making sure they remember.
“You go on proper date,’’ Antonio dismisses me and starts picking up the empty plates. Quickly thinking, I grab hold of his wrist to stop him.
“I’ll get this; you sit down and eat, talk, or do what you Italians do,’’ I smile and get up to take the washing up over the wash up area. Max joins me a few minutes later, carrying some other bits and bobs.
“Come on. Let’s get this done so we can go see how Splinter is doing. You don’t want Harlow getting her hands on it; she’ll end up keeping it,’’ he chuckles, helping me load the dishwasher.
I gasp, not thinking about Harlow and Thor. As soon as she sees him she’s going to fall in love with him. Who wouldn’t? Oh yeah, that’s right, bloody Max.
“She wouldn’t,’’ I affirm, turning to face him and in doing so I bring the jet wash with me, soaking Max to the bone. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,’’ I choke out, trying hard not to laugh. His t-shirt is clinging to his tight sculptured abs, showcasing every defined ridge on his stomach. His hair is completely drenched; water running down his face, dripping off at his strong, cut jaw. No longer able to hold it in anymore, I crack up right in his face. My laughter loud and shameless and from the look on his face he is not impressed but it just has me bending over, my side hurting from laughing even harder.
“You think that’s funny do ya?’’ he demands, the warning there laced heavily from the tone of his voice. Straightening up ready to give him some sass, I notice his hand moving in my peripheral vision. A startled squeal escapes and my body turns ready for an escape but his hands land around my waist swinging me back towards him.
“Noooo,’’ I laugh when he tries to wet me. I push his hand away with all my strength, my laughter still filling the room when I’m sprayed. My ass slams back into his groin, trying to push him away, but all it does is cause another reaction – a reaction Max likes all too well. The nozzle falls with a thud back into the sink, the loud clang echoing around the kitchen. “Please, I’m sorry, I swear it won’t happen again.’’
“Oh, you’ll pay, Lake,’’ he mocks.
When I feel his body heat against mine, I all too soon become aware of how close he’s standing behind me, his groin pressed into my ass and his soaked front pressed to my back. Laughter dies in my throat, my body turning so I come face to face with Max. His face has lost its earlier smugness, the teasing expression now wiped away and a hankering of undisguised desire now in its place. We’re both silent, both of us lost in our own thoughts. So lost in my own thoughts, my gaze entirely focused on his full lips, I’m surprised when I find them moving towards me as if in slow motion. Then everything falls away and all I can concentrate on is his touch, his lips, and how good it feels kissing him.
I’m so lost in the kiss, in the moment, that I find myself pressing closer to him, wanting to feel his body wrapped around mine and before I can stop myself, I’m throwing my arms around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. Also lost in the moment, Max none too gently shoves me into the washer, grinding his pelvis into mine, the contact causing me to moan into his mouth. The hands he has under my ass to support me, tighten to the point his fingers bite into my skin.
Our soaked shirts stick together, my thin top leaving nothing to the imagination as Max glides his now free hand up my ribs to my chest before grabbing more than a handful of my boob. He makes a sound of appreciation at the back of his throat which spurs me on and I find myself rocking my body against him. It feels good. Really good. And with his warm hands touching one of the most intimate places it has me feeling explosive.
I can’t get enough.
But it’s all too much.
Then a loud girly squeal breaks whatever spell Max has me under. Quickly we break a part, both of us breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes where again we both begin to feel lost, so lost that when I hear a faint voice, reality comes slamming into me, the force nearly choking me.
“Shit,’’ I hiss, pushing Max away as he slides me to my feet. It doesn’t go unnoticed that he keeps me as close to his body as he can and I hate that I liked it. “This can’t happen again. We’re two different people,’’ I snap, all my anger pushed into those few sentences. It breaks my heart saying them but he needs to know.
I don’t let him defend himself; I rush over to where my coat is and grab it before rushing out of the kitchen and into the bar where a waving Antonio is grinning. Too angry and embarrassed I don’t stop and give him a snappy comeback, instead, I hightail it out of there.
Back at the house, Joan is in the kitchen finishing off a call. She smiles when she sees me but then her eyes do a double take which has her losing her smile. I’m starting to wish I’d headed upstairs when I first came in but it feels rude not stopping and talking. I should have, though. It’s no telling what a mess I look like.
“What’s wrong?’’
“What?’’ I ask breathlessly. I hadn’t stopped running until I hit the front door, even then I wanted to run through it, up to my room and dive under my cushions.
“You look like you’ve just run the London Marathon,’’ Joan says, looking at me like I’ve peed on her floor.
“Oh, spider,’’ I wave her off, still trying to catch my breath. That’s when I see Thor on the kitchen floor coming towards me. I bend down and pick him up, snuggling him in my arms. He immediately falls asleep and my heart soars.
So effin’ cute.
“Do you need me to do anything? I was going to go to my room?’’ I ask, still looking down at the kitten snoring lightly in my arms.
See? Totally cute. He’s made me feel better already.
“No, no, dear. Just make sure you’re down here for dinner at half five. We’re having a family dinner.’’
The word ‘family’ hits me in the chest hard, taking my breath away and the need to reach out and rub the ache away is extreme.
“Okay,’’ I whisper, turning and heading back to my room.
In my room I lay down on the bed, bringing Thor with me still cuddled safely on my chest. The minute my eyes close from the emotional exhaustion, the mobile phone Joan had given me the week before beeps from the floor. I know who it is straight away. There has only been one person to even text me since I had it. Since I don’t go anywhere no one really has any need to get hold of me.
I did try telling Joan when she gave it to me that it was pointless giving it to me and a total waste of her money but she wouldn’t listen to my reasoning. Now I wish I had stuck to my guns and made her take it back.
Getting a text is far worse than receiving a phone call. People tend to write what they really mean on a message, finding it easier to communicate. It can also be interpreted differently and admittedly I’m shit scared of what Max has to say.
MAX: I’ve never made a girl run from me before.
Breathing in a relaxed breath, feeling that wasn’t as bad I originally thought it was going to be, I hesitantly reply.
LAKE: There’s a first time for everything.
MAX: Yes, there is. Why did you run?
LAKE: Because I don’t want you kissing me.
I type furiously, my temper beginning to rise. Is it so hard to believe not every girl is going to fall for his charms and bow down to him?
MAX: I
’d believe you but your moans and groans and the tight grip you had on me tells me something else entirely.
This, unfortunately, is true.
LAKE: You might find this hard to believe but not every girl finds you irresistible.
MAX: Stop lying to yourself, you want me, just admit it.
LAKE: I’m not playing fucking games, Max. Grow up and leave me alone.
I snap and I instantly feel bad about it, but he’s becoming more involved in my life and it isn’t something I need. I know it’s not. I don’t deserve anything good and I’m already playing with fire letting Joan take me into her home. Becoming dependent on the emotional and physical support Max brings me won’t end well; I can’t rely on him for that.
MAX: If that’s what you want, fine!!!!!!
My chest aches and my finger inches over the reply button, wanting to take back my words. In just a few weeks that I’ve known him he’s come to mean something to me. Nothing romantic, though, the thought of his body, his cheeky banter and his extremely good looks is making it harder not to think of him that way.
Who am I kidding?
I totally fancy the pants off Max. There’s nothing I can do to deny that, yet, anything more is a no go. It just can’t go any further.
My eyes close and I return to stroking the little bundle of fur still cuddled up to my chest. The notion relaxes me and it’s not long before I fall into a dreamless sleep.
A soft knock on the door wakes me up from another nightmare about my past.
Since moving in with Joan and Mark they’ve become more and more regular. I know its guilt eating away at me. Why should I live a good life when he doesn’t have one because of me? That’s what it all boils down to. But if I could go back in time and change things, I would. I’d gladly take his place in a heartbeat.
Joan peeks her head in, giving me a small smile when she sees I’m awake. Thor jumps down from the bed and runs out of the room, his little butt wiggling behind him.
So cute!
“Dinner will be ready in five,’’ is all she says before turning and leaving the room. I groan, sitting up, my head is banging.
I remind myself to ask for some paracetamol when I go downstairs. It’s not the first time I’ve woken up from a nightmare and received the mother of all headaches.
Rushing into the bathroom I make quick work of cleaning up before heading back into my room to change.
By the time I make it downstairs everyone is already sitting at the small table in the kitchen. Looking around, my tense body relaxes when I find Max not in attendance. In fact, Maverick isn’t here either.
“Hey, Joan, could I have some paracetamol, please?’’
“Of course, my dear. You don’t have to ask you know, just help yourself. They’re in the top cupboard over there,’’ she tells me gently, pointing to the far end of the kitchen. “Is everything okay?’’
“Just a headache,’’ I tell her quietly before making my way over to the sink to grab a glass of water.
The water feels cool and soothing against my raw throat, so I take another sip, relishing in the feeling, just as Joan decides to ask me a question.
“Where’s Max?’’
I choke on my drink, my lungs beginning to burn. I have to calm myself down before looking back at Joan. She’s minding her own at the moment but I can tell that secretly all her attention is on me as she dishes out the food.
“I, huh, I don’t know.’’
“He was with you earlier, he texted me,’’ Myles tells me.
“Yeah, he stayed at Antonio’s to clean up,’’ I add on quickly, not wanting to be questioned anymore. “So, Harlow, you have your appointment soon, you excited?’’
She smiles widely, looking at Malik with adoration. “Yeah. The midwife booked us in for a scan. She said we’ll have a proper estimate then for the due date.’’
“Not so scared then,’’ I state and smile at her. She looks radiant. She’s beautiful in every way. The best thing is she doesn’t even know it. But don’t let her angelic looks deceive you, I’ve seen her argue with Malik and Denny; the girl has balls.
“No, not now.’’
“I still can’t believe my grandbaby is going to be having a baby. Your mom would be so proud, I just know it,’’ Joan speaks up, her eyes watering.
“Oh, Gram’s, don’t get upset. And do you really believe that?’’ Harlow asks, her voice cracking towards the end.
“I know it, baby. She had you so young and I know she never regretted it for one second. She’d support you in the ways I never supported her. I just know it, baby. Call it a mother’s intuition,’’ she winks then looks around the table. “I can’t believe that boy isn’t here. Myles, call him. At least Maverick has a legitimate excuse,’’ she snaps.
“Where is Mav?’’ Malik asks, taking a mouthful of mashed potato.
“He’s clearing out the apartment above the club so he can move a tenant in,’’ Mark answers.
“Why would someone move in there? You’d never get any sleep,’’ Malik grunts.
“It’s been soundproofed. With business becoming slow because of Christmas, he needs another income coming in. He’s even thought of buying future properties for investment,’’ Mark states proudly.
My ears burn when Myles walks back into the room, his eyes hitting mine briefly before looking over to Joan.
“He’s on a date,’’ Myles grunts, frowning.
“That boy,’’ Joan snaps and I feel her eyes on me, but I concentrate hard on my food, trying to look unaffected. Him being on a date shouldn’t hurt like this. But it does and I can’t deny the sharp pain inside my chest is about anything else.
It was only this morning that he had his tongue down my throat. Now he’s on a date. I knew not to trust him. But then, I did tell him to leave me alone. Lads like him can’t handle their ego being bruised.
“Denny, how’s your brother’s girlfriend doing?’’ Harlow asks Denny quickly and I look over to give her a thankful smile. I know everyone has thought something has been going on between me and Max, although, until today there wasn’t anything going on, not really.
God, it’s so freaking awkward. I can feel Joan still staring holes in the side of my head.
“She’s healed up nicely. She’s not his girlfriend anymore, she’s his wife. The loons went and got married on their own.’’
“You’ve been planning yours now for what? A year?’’ Harlow laughs. “And your brother gets married within the few weeks of asking her?’’
“Don’t rub it in,’’ Denny groans. “I’m just happy for them and I said we should do something to celebrate. I know Nan wasn’t too pleased about all the rush. But I know she loves Kennedy.’’
My head feels like it’s going to explode listening to them talk back and forth about shit I know nothing about. Obviously I know who they’re talking about and what happened and what not, but it’s not a conversation I can really be involved in. I’m not family. I’ll never be part of a family again and that kills me. More than I care to admit.
Pushing back my chair, all eyes fall on me. “I’m not feeling too good, I think I’m going to get some fresh air,’’ I mumble and before Joan can force me to sit back down or go to bed, I move quickly out of the door, hearing them talk in hushed tones.
Pulling on my sneakers and grabbing my coat I head outside the door. It’s times like this, listening to them banter back and forth, that I really miss my family and what we shared. We never sat at a dining room table or a kitchen one but we did sit in front of a television together to eat our dinner every day. We would talk about our days, what we were up to, about a TV show that was on, or just random gossip. It was great.
I took all that away from my family and again today, I took Max away from all of them by arguing with him, otherwise he would be here enjoying his dinner. I ruin everything I come into contact with. It’s another reason that is screaming at me, telling me that I don’t belong here, that I’m invading everyone’s liv
es.
Hours later the streets are dark, only lit with dim streetlights, as I walk the rest of the way to Joan’s house. My feet are killing me and if you ask me where I’ve been tonight I couldn’t tell you. I’ve been walking around in a daze wondering how my life got so fucked up. But I only have myself to blame. It’s the only person I can blame. The only person who is to blame.
Opening the front door, I walk in and kick off my sneakers. Joan walks out of the front room with a sad expression on her face but also a look I’ve come to know all too well. She has something she needs to say. I know she’s going to make me cry before she even opens her mouth. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day.
“Come sit down with me,’’ she orders. I open my mouth to tell her I’m too tired when she raises her hand up, placing it down on my shoulder. “It’s not a request.’’
Sighing, I take off my coat and follow her into the front room. The clock on the wall reads nine o’clock and it shocks the hell out of me. I’ve been gone for four hours. Four hours of walking around mindlessly not knowing where I was heading or when I’d be back.
“Sit.’’
Sitting down on the edge of the sofa, I don’t relax back into the seat. I need her to know I don’t plan on getting comfy, that I want her to get out whatever she has to say. As soon as she does I’ll be heading up to my room to wallow in self pity.
“I know you’ve got secrets, dark ones. I hear you cry in your sleep,’’ she tells me, which really doesn’t surprise me that much. I’ve been waiting for someone to bring up my nightmares since I first moved in, yet, none of them have ever mentioned them once to me. Not that I think Harlow and Malik would hear me, they’re too far up to hear anything but Joan and Mark are close by and will have heard me for sure.
“When you feel like you can, I want you to know you’re able to come and talk to me. Life is hard but living is harder, and you, my girl, aren’t living. You’re walking around robotically like anything to do with life or emotion will get you punished.’’
“Maybe that’s my punishment,’’ I whisper, wanting to tell her so badly what kind of a girl they’ve brought into their home.
Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) Page 11
