“I’m always hard when it comes to you. But sleep. You’ve worn me out,’’ I tease.
“No stamina,’’ she mutters, already half asleep.
“We’ll see,’’ I chuckle, pulling her tighter against me. I’ll wake her up once I’ve rested my eyes for a little bit and show her just how much stamina I’ve got.
I wake up in the middle of the night needing a piss. Once I relieve myself I make my way back to my room. When I pass my desk I notice my laptop is still on and when I wake the screen up it’s still on my emails and a reply message is in my inbox waiting for me.
My eyes widen as I read the message, my hands scrubbing my unshaven jaw.
Fuck!
I didn’t want to believe Lake but I also didn’t want this to be true either. I feel like I’m being torn in two. Either way I’ll lose Lake.
If someone told me a few months ago I’d be going crazy over a girl I’d tell them to get clean off the drugs making them high, but then I met Lake and everything changed.
Yeah, I’ve always wanted to fuck her but she’s more than that. I love hanging out with her. Even if it’s just watching stupid ass movies or that TV series she’s got into. I don’t even mind when we play Grand Theft Auto and she stops at every red light. I just make her believe it annoys me when really I think it’s fucking cute as hell.
She makes me laugh, she doesn’t expect anything from me or anyone around me, and she doesn’t have fantasies about ‘happily ever afters’. But for once I’m cursing myself and her for not believing in it because at this precise moment in time I want her to want a happily ever after.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m not supposed to have love in my life in any other form than brotherly love.
Rereading the message again, my heart begins to ache and I shove away from the chair needing a stronger drink.
Once I’m downstairs I walk into the kitchen, jumping when I find Maverick sitting on the barstool at the breakfast bar looking at his laptop.
“What are you doing here?’’
“What are you doing up?’’ he asks, eyeing me funnily.
“I was coming to get a drink. What about you? I didn’t think you were here tonight.’’
“Got some shit going on at the club,’’ he sighs, running a hand over his tired face.
“Everything okay?’’ I ask worriedly, noticing how tired he really looks. He’s been working more than normal lately, but I don’t think that’s it. I know he’s been getting called into work a lot lately over certain things happening. I just hope it’s nothing serious, not that he’d tell me anyway.
“Yeah, it’s just been a long fucking week,’’ he grunts. “What’s up with you? You look really pale.’’
“I’ve been meaning to complain about the weather,’’ I mutter.
Rolling his eyes he gives me a pointed look and I sit down across from him and sigh. “I found something out and now I don’t know what to do with the information I got.’’
“Does this have anything to do with Lake and why Liam accidentally text me saying he sent the information to my email address?’’
“Fucking prick,’’ I mutter, cursing Liam. “Yeah.’’
“So? Are you going to tell me?’’
“She told me she killed her brother,’’ I blurt out, keeping my voice down.
My brother’s eyes widen, his mouth open in shock. “What?’’
“Yeah, but there’s more,’’ I tell him, feeling my palms begin to sweat.
“Don’t tell me she killed all her family. She doesn’t seem like the kind of girl,’’ he chokes out, looking behind him like Lake will be standing there with a butcher’s knife.
I snort. “No, jackass, she didn’t kill her brother either but she thinks she did.’’
“Now I’m fucking confused.’’
“Welcome to my world,’’ I mutter.
“You were born confused,’’ he tells me and I grin.
“You got jokes.’’
“Learning,’’ he winks. “But seriously, what’s going on?’’
“Long story short, she thinks she caused a crash that caused her brother’s death. Not just a brother but her twin brother,’’ I tell him, watching his eyes go as wide as saucers.
“Holy shit,’’ he whispers.
“I know, right? That’s her side of the story anyway. She ran away when the paramedics were there and couldn’t revive him,’’ I tell him, pausing. As soon as I’ve said the next part it’s all going to be true and that I’ll have to do the right thing. No more pretending I don’t know what I know.
“And? I’m guessing there is more,’’ Maverick says, pouring us both a glass of Jack Daniels.
I grunt, nodding my head. “Yeah, I got Liam to look into her. When we had that fight last Sunday I remembered something she said to me on the Saturday. He finally found some newspaper articles. Her brother didn’t die and Lake is a missing person. They are still searching for her. They’ve even got a ten thousand pound reward for anyone who can tell them her whereabouts.’’
“Shit!’’ Maverick mutters. “What happened with her brother?’’
“I’m not sure. She’s pretty sure he died. But in the article it says they brought him back but he sustained long term illness,’’ I shrug.
“Why do I have the feeling you’re still keeping something from me?’’ he asks.
“Because I am. I emailed her parents. They confirmed everything. Lake is their daughter and they want to come meet her. But I tried telling Lake earlier and she didn’t listen,’’ I mumble, knowing I didn’t try hard enough.
“I’m pretty sure fucking her brains out isn’t trying to tell her anything,’’ Maverick says, rolling his eyes.
“I did fuck her brains out,’’ I grin proudly and Maverick leans over and punches my shoulder. “Ouch. Jackass.’’
“So, what are you going to do?’’
“I dunno,’’ I shrug, downing my drink and pouring another.
“You’re worried about losing her, aren’t you?’’
“Well, aren’t you the mind reader tonight,’’ I mutter sarcastically.
“She deserves to know,’’ he tells me, his voice softer.
“Yeah, but something tells me she won’t believe a word I have to say. She’s had to live with this, thinking she killed her twin brother.’’
“So invite them down here, make her see.’’
“Then she leaves with them,’’ I grumble but I already know I need to do the right thing. I meant what I said earlier, I love her. “Suppose it’s true what they say: If you love someone they will go.’’
“I’m pretty sure it’s, if you love someone, let them go,’’ Maverick tells me.
“Same thing,’’ I wave at him, pouring another drink. Maverick slides the bottle away from me, out of reach, and I roll my eyes at him.
“No, it’s not. Things might not change, Max, but you need to do the right thing.’’
“I know,’’ I tell him, downing my drink before slamming the glass on the side. “I’ll see you in the morning. Well, in a few hours.’’
“Night,’’ I hear him say before I’m walking up the stairs, the alcohol spreading a warmth through my body.
Making my way upstairs, I press reply to the message I was sent by either Lake’s mom or dad and send them a reply.
Once I’m done, I check out my Facebook, not having been on there for a while, when my laptop message alerts dings. I wasn’t expecting a response from them until tomorrow so when I see it’s them, I’m shocked.
Now all I have to do is pray Lake doesn’t hate me when this is all over. Come Sunday she’ll be reunited with her parents. Let’s just hope I’m doing the right thing.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
LAKE
Stretching my sore limbs, a groan erupts loudly from my mouth from all the aches and pains throughout my body. Max kept me up until the early hours of this morning making love to me. Okay, not making love, but I couldn’t call it fucking eith
er. It was somewhere in between and it was freaking epic. He knows how to light my body up and make it explode into a thousand pieces. He had me seeing stars every single time.
Last night we couldn’t get enough of each other. It was all hands, all mouths, neither of us getting our fill until we completely exhausted ourselves, and even then, temptation was too hard to resist.
Ever since I spilled my guts out to Max on Friday my mind and body has felt so much lighter. I’ve felt it with every step I’ve taken and I’m positive that everyone has noticed the change too.
This morning, though, I’ve woken up with a queasy feeling in my stomach and not the butterflies I woke up with yesterday when I woke up in Max’s arms, feeling accepted and wanted, even after telling him my darkest secrets.
What has me on edge is in the change of attitude in Max. He’s been acting stranger than usual and not at all like himself. I’ve worried myself sick that he hasn’t accepted me the way he made me believe, but then I remember his touch, his whispered words and how gentle he was with me.
Every time I questioned him about his behaviour he’d distract me with kisses, amongst other things. Not that I’m complaining. I feel like a totally new person. Like my life is finally on track and I’m where I’m meant to be, even if it means I have to live the rest of my life without my parents.
Opening my eyes I have to squint at the alarm clock to see the numbers and groan. It’s half eleven. I’ve slept in once again. I promised Joan I’d help her this morning with an extra delivery arriving at the food bank. It’s too late for me to do anything about it. She’s most likely already back and downstairs making tea.
I didn’t even hear Max leave the bed this morning but what surprises me the most is the fact Max even got out of bed. He wore me out last night, just as much as I wore him out, so how he’s found the energy to even move is shocking. That boy loves his sleep.
Sliding my legs out of bed I get up, grabbing some fresh clothes before heading into the bathroom down the hallway.
Whispers are coming from downstairs when I walk across the landing and I hope it’s not Max getting told off by Joan about sleeping over. Not that she’s minded before. She seems pretty lenient for a parent and is trusting when it comes to letting boys stay. When Max told me Malik slept over all the time when he first met Harlow I was surprised. My parents would go ape shit if I brought a boy into my room, let alone sleep over. Then Joan filled me in on why and told me if she thought Harlow had betrayed her trust in any way or if she thought Harlow wasn’t mature enough to have a boy over, she wouldn’t allow it. But there’s a time in a parent’s life where they have to let their child grow up into an adult and start making choices. She also said she’d rather Harlow was safe than running around behind her back, doing God knows what.
I make quick work of showering, making sure to not get my hair wet before getting out, drying myself off and getting dressed. Once I’ve brushed my teeth I head back to my room to grab a pair of socks and to run a brush through my hair, not bothering with makeup like always. Thanks to Joan taking me to a hairdressers I managed to get a few inches off my hair without having to worry about someone chopping it all off. Don’t judge, it happens. One time I went I asked for a trim, the woman ended up taking off six inches. It broke my heart. Thankfully, the hairdresser Joan took me to know the meaning of a trim and did a fantastic job. She even gave my long, straight locks some shape and put in some layers and feathered it around my face. It looks amazing.
Walking down the stairs, the whispered voices coming from the living room stop me from taking another step down. My stomach coils and I wrap my arms around myself feeling queasy and suddenly cold.
Max chooses that moment to walk out of the front room. When he sees me he stops, coming to a sudden halt, his face paling as his eyes move from the front room before coming back to me.
“Is everything okay?’’ I ask, curious to his weird reaction. Not that he’s normal by any means.
“Yeah, um, can we talk in the kitchen?’’ he asks, avoiding my eyes.
A cold shudder runs up my spine and I have a sinking feeling that whatever he’s about to tell me is going to tear my world apart… Once again.
Following Max into the kitchen I wipe my sweaty palms down my jeans, ignoring the way my legs are shaking and the way I start to become lightheaded. My racing heart does nothing to calm my nerves down and when Max keeps quiet as we enter it only makes it that much worse.
“What’s going on, Max? You’re scaring me. Is this about what I told you Friday?’’
“Yes,’’ he whispers looking pained and if I’ve read his expression correctly, a little guilty. “But…’’
“What did you do?’’ I ask. My eyes harden a touch, knowing I’m not ready for what he’s about to say. If he’s told someone after I specifically asked him not to I’ll wring his fucking neck and let Thor have his way with him.
“Just hear me out before you start thinking of doing something drastic to my manhood,’’ he says looking frantic, holding his hands up like he’s warning me off.
My eyes don’t leave him as I stand there waiting for him to say something. When he still doesn’t explain himself I step forward threateningly. “Talk.’’
“Okay, okay. Stop pushing me. You’re making me feel under pressure. I can’t take it. I’m surprised I’m not breaking out in acne. I can’t take it. I just need you to listen,’’ he whisper yells, his gaze flicking behind me towards the kitchen door.
“If you haven’t noticed I’ve been listening the whole time,’’ I snap.
“Jesus, is it wrong you look hot right now?’’ he smirks and my temper begins to rise. Why can’t he ever do anything simple? He has the attention span of a two year old kid.
“Fucking talk, Max, before I hurt your manhood.’’
“That’s playing dirty and you know it,’’ he blinks, turning his junk away from me.
“Max,’’ I growl, my foot tapping restlessly onto the kitchen floor.
“THEY’RE HERE!’’ he blurts out, turning around so his broad back is facing me while running his fingers through his hair. When he faces me again, he looks apologetic, guilty, and I know straight away he’s talking about my parents. I know he is. A sickening feeling in my stomach tells me I’m right.
“How could you?’’ I whisper, feeling hurt. I try to process everything, to truly understand what he means, but I can’t get past him going behind my back, sticking his nose in.
“Please don’t hurt my dick,’’ he pleads. “Or balls. You told me about your brother the night of the hen party. When you broke up with me my ego got hurt. But then I remembered everything you said at the hen party and what you said the morning after and it all began to make sense, so I got Liam to do some digging. Babe…’’
“Don’t you dare ‘babe’ me,’’ I snap, pointing at him. “How dare you?’’ I ask again, tears filling my eyes. My heart hurts from his betrayal. I thought he cared about me. He must have known doing this would kill me inside. He knew I’d been struggling to come to terms with losing them all and now he goes and does all this. “I told you all that because I trusted you. Not so you could bring my parents here. Do you think I want to see the shame, the disappointment and blame in their eyes? How could you, Max? Honest to God, I trusted you and I’ve not trusted anyone in so long. So fucking long.’’
“You didn’t kill your brother,’’ he snaps. His eyes are heated, the colour darkening as he steps towards me. It doesn’t matter. I can still see the hurt and a tiny bit of regret flash in his eyes before he manages to hide it. “If you would just stop for one fucking second,’’ he begs. “Listen to me. Just listen. You didn’t kill him…’’
“Don’t you dare tell me what I did or didn’t do. You weren’t there. You didn’t see my brother’s lifeless body lying there covered in mud, soaked with rain and turning blue. You didn’t have to hold his dead weight to keep him from choking on more water. You weren’t there when my mum turned around, asking m
e over and over again what I did… Put your hand down, Max, I’m not finished. How the hell could you do this? Do you have any idea how much this is killing me? Where are they? Do I at least have time to escape?’’
“They’re in the front room,’’ he whispers. His eyes look unsure as he scans my face before flickering back to the floor.
Thor, rubbing himself up my feet, shakes me from the storm brewing through my body. But not even Thor can keep me from moving. My body is heading towards the backdoor before I can even think about the consequences. I don’t even reach the back door before Max is grabbing me around the waist, swinging me around.
“Let me go,’’ I cry, my voice rising.
“No, you can’t keep running.’’
“Says you? You’ve ran from relationships every single day of your life. You make a joke out of every situation just so you don’t have to deal with the emotion. Don’t talk to me about running,’’ I snap, wiping furiously at my eyes.
“Stop deflecting,’’ he snaps, his hold on me tightening. My body struggles to get out of his grasp but he’s much stronger than I am, so fighting him is useless.
“What on earth is going on?’’ Joan hisses as she storms into the kitchen. My head bows in defeat, falling limply to my chest. I never wanted Joan to find out about my past and see me differently. I feel like a bigger fraud of a person now she’s seen the real me.
“I’m sorry,’’ I whisper. “I’ll be going as soon as Max lets me go,’’ I tell her, elbowing Max in the stomach. He grunts but doesn’t let me go, frustrating the hell out of me.
“At least it wasn’t the balls,’’ he groans, more to himself than to me.
“Let her go. Lake, your parents really want to see you, sweet girl. Your brother should be here any minute,’’ Joan tells me and my head snaps up to her. Did she just say? No, she couldn’t. I heard her wrong, I must have. I saw him die. I was there. I lived it.
“What?’’ I whisper hoarsely, trying to shake the fog from my brain.
“They’re in the front room. I had to talk them down from coming in here when we heard you pair start arguing. I did explain arguing is like foreplay to you both but it would be better if I checked out what was happening first,’’ she says to me like she didn’t just dump a huge bombshell on me or tell my parents arguing is like foreplay to me.
Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) Page 33
