The man’s brow furrowed.
“Is he… ?” Her voice trailed off and she braced herself for the worst.
“No, he’s not dead. If you allow me to come in, I’ll explain everything.”
Her sigh of relief was audible, but she still eyed him with suspicion. Who was this man? How did he know Ryan? Where was he and why had Ryan given him the car? She needed answers and didn’t think she’d get them if she left him standing on the porch.
“Come inside and tell me what happened.” Jill moved one hand to the small of her back, resting it on the tiny can of pepper spray, before stepping aside to allow him to enter.
The knot in her stomach grew from fist size to boulder in the span of a second. Ryan would never give up his car without a good reason. He and her brother had restored it together. It was his main link to the past, since he’d dropped contact with her. “Can I get you a cup of coffee Mr… Mr.?”
“My name is Bacchus.”
“That’s quite an unusual name.”
He tilted his head. “I am an unusual man.”
That he was, if first impressions were any indication. Jill arched a brow, but didn’t comment on his response. “Take a seat in the living room, I’ll be right back.” She pointed to the blue room on the left, carefully holding her pepper spray can out of view of her visitor. “I need to make some coffee before I expire from lack of caffeine. Would you like some?”
“That would be acceptable.”
She walked into the kitchen, keeping Bacchus in her peripheral vision while she scooped heaping mounds of ground coffee beans into the filter. The aroma of French roast filled the air as she poured water into the carafe and flipped the switch to brew.
Jill ducked into the bathroom while the coffee percolated and brushed her hair, foregoing makeup for the natural look. Why she bothered, she didn’t know. Yet she felt compelled to do so. She peeked out the door to make sure Bacchus was still where she had left him. He sat on the couch, his gaze fixed at a point somewhere on the wall.
Suddenly his attention snapped to where she stood.
She froze, trapped in his gaze, powerless to escape. Her body tingled and her skin stretched taut. Jill knew she should be scared or at least a hell of a lot more concerned about safety than she was at present, but instead she remained languid and giddy, like she didn’t have a care in the world.
Working with animals gave her good instincts. And Jill’s gut told her Bacchus would never her harm her, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to watch him closely. His strange scent clung to her. It was as if he were still standing next to her, when Jill could see him clearly in the other room. Bacchus blinked, releasing her from the spell, and she stepped back into the bathroom. It took her a couple of beats to catch her breath.
Had she ever been this attracted to a man? The word no filtered through her mind.
Yet as stunning as he was, Jill felt something deeper swirling below the surface than lust. The connection moved beyond the physical into the realm of emotions. Of course, that was utterly impossible, considering she’d just laid eyes on him and didn’t believe in love at first sight. Still, there was no denying that there was something happening between them that defied easy explanation.
Jill finished getting ready, then slipped back into the kitchen. A few minutes later, she entered the living room, carrying a tray with a coffee decanter and two mugs on it.
The bittersweet aroma filled the air as she placed the tray onto the coffee table. Jill took a seat in the wicker chair opposite Bacchus before offering him sugar and cream.
“I prefer to drink it black,” he said, lifting the cup to his lips.
“Be careful. It’s hot,” she warned, watching in fascination as his forked tongue dipped into the steaming brew a couple of times before he tipped the cup to his mouth and drank it down like a shot of tequila. Jill glanced at her cup and watched the steam rise.
He should be screaming, holding his tongue, sweating or at least turning red.
Instead, Bacchus looked perfectly normal. Well, as normal as a guy with a tattoo on his neck and a forked tongue could look. The word barbarian came to mind. So did reptilian, the herpetologist in her thought. It was odd how some people reminded you of an animal or in Bacchus’ case, a reptile. Strangely, she found the association kind of sexy.
Despite reservations, Jill was intrigued and perhaps a tiny bit envious of his “thumb your nose at society” attitude. Bacchus seemed a walking contradiction, with his buttoned-down conservative clothes and counter-culture appearance. He held an air of danger that made her think he’d witnessed more than his fair share of violence in his lifetime. Yet, she could tell he was doing everything in his power to put her at ease. The thought made something in the vicinity of her heart melt. Jill didn’t realize she was staring until Bacchus smiled at her.
“Sorry,” she said, a second before her face flushed. Shocked by her behavior, she glanced at her feet to regain her composure. Jill had never been forward when it came to men. As anti-feminist as it was, she liked the man to make the first move, to take the lead, to be the dominant one. The last thought brought more heat to her cheeks. Maybe it was time for a change in thinking.
“Don’t be sorry. I like it when you look at me.” His voice rumbled in his chest, sending vibrations straight to her clit.
Jill’s head shot up and her eyes widened. Was Bacchus flirting with her? Would it be so bad if he was? Her heart thumped loudly in her chest and she shifted. Suddenly, Jill wished she’d taken the time to put makeup on. What was she thinking? She shouldn’t be worried about her appearance, when Ryan was in trouble. Jill shook her head to clear the clingy cotton wool sensation from her mind.
“You came here about Ryan,” she said, reminding him as much as herself.
His smile faded a little. “Yes, I came to tell you that he’s decided to go away for a while.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?” Jill stood and began to pace. She didn’t wait for an answer from Bacchus. “I knew this was going to happen. He’s been acting strange ever since the funeral. At first, he came around all the time, then his visits became sporadic. After a while, he just stopped coming altogether. I don’t suppose he told you that we used to be engaged.” Sadness tinged her voice.
“He shared that information with me,” Bacchus said, looking suddenly uncomfortable.
“I don’t understand why Ryan would tell you that he was leaving and not tell me. I mean, we haven’t spoken much over the last several months, but it seems odd he’d up and go without a word. He must really trust you, if he shared all this with you.”
“Jill,” Bacchus said her name so softly, she almost didn’t hear him. “I’m sorry. I know this must be painful to hear.”
“No, I was expecting something like this. I mean, it sucks, but I’m not really surprised.” Her fingers fluttered nervously.
He reached out and clasped her hand, halting her movement. Heat shot from his fingertips up her arm and into her nipples.
Jill jerked her hand away in shock.
His nostrils flared momentarily. Other than that tiny reaction, he seemed unaffected.
“Please sit down. I know this is hard, but it was Ryan’s choice. I’m sure he’ll eventually contact you after he’s settled.”
“Settled? Settled where?” She felt her stomach drop. “He’s not alone, is he?”
“No,” Bacchus said without inflection.
Jill had suspected Ryan had moved on with his life, but hearing that he’d met someone special brought the ugly truth home. She started pacing again. “Are you sure he’s okay?”
“I have no doubt he’s safe. He’s currently with his new… ”
“Lover?” Her mouth twisted painfully on the word as it scalded her tongue.
“Where?” Jill plopped down in the chair opposite the loveseat when her legs threatened to give out. “Are you sure you have the right man?” she asked, already knowing the answer. If she’d had any doubts, th
ey ended the second she saw the car. But if Ryan’s car was in her driveway, then how was he planning to leave the area?
“She has a car,” Bacchus replied as if she’d asked the question aloud. “The rest of answers will come in due time from Ryan himself, but first I need to get a little background from you.”
Her brows knit. “Me? Why? Are you some kind of attorney? Or doctor?”
Bacchus didn’t answer. He simply moved to his briefcase, popped the clasp and proceeded to remove several documents with Ryan’s name plastered across the top of them.
“Your ex-fiancé is a very troubled man.”
Jill sighed. “I know. He hasn’t been the same since John’s death a year ago.”
“Depression is dangerous if left unchecked.” Bacchus nodded. “He misses your brother and has been unable to fill the empty space his death created.”
“He’s not the only one. You talk as if you’re speaking from experience.” She threaded her fingers together, and then placed her hands on her lap.
“Like most people, I do know what it’s like to lose something you hold dear. I’m also well aware of the despair that one feels when you lose hope.”
Jill knew Bacchus was telling her something important, but decided not to press for more information. It wasn’t any of her business. Besides, she didn’t think he’d elaborate anyhow. “Would you like another cup of coffee?” she asked instead, focusing on a benign subject.
He nodded. “Please.” He held his cup out for her.
Their fingers brushed as she poured, but this time Jill didn’t pull away. “So how do you know so much about Ryan? Are you two friends?”
“I suppose you could say I’ve been inside his mind,” he said cryptically.
“Wow, I can’t believe it.” She finished pouring and sat the carafe down.
“Believe what?”
Jill handed Bacchus the mug. “I can’t believe that Ryan sought professional help. He hated the psychiatrist I sent John to. Called him a quack for not realizing how depressed my brother was at the time. Ryan kept going on and on about shrinking heads and all that bull. I’m sure he thought he was helping John, but the truth is, my brother didn’t want our help. What’s that old cliché? You can lead a horse to water… Now all we have left is guilt and what ifs.” She paused, then plunged on. “The truth is, Ryan blames me for John’s death.”
Bacchus peered over the top of the coffee cup at her. The steam curled over his glasses like ghostly shadows. He didn’t so much look at her as look right through her.
Jill fidgeted under his close scrutiny.
“Ryan may not express it well, but he cares about you very much. I know this to be so. He worries that you’re allowing your life to slip by without truly living.”
“If he cared about me so much, he wouldn’t have thrown away our relationship nine months ago.”
“He was a fool,” Bacchus said.
Jill shook her head, feeling renewed warmth flood her face. “That’s not true.
Everyone deals with death differently. Ryan chose to run away. But if it’ll make him feel better, you can tell Ryan that I have a full life.” She waved her hand around to indicate the house.
Bacchus cocked his head and stared at her.
“If you don’t believe me, then look around you.”
He snorted. “We could argue semantics, but I think you’ve already proven my point by getting so defensive.”
“How dare you! Who in the hell—”
Bacchus held up his hand to halt her words. “When was the last time you went out with a man?”
Jill put her mug down with a clink. “I don’t see how that has anything to do with Ryan’s state of mind.”
“It helps if I can get to know the people close to the individual I’ve absorbed.”
“Absorbed? Like a sponge? That’s a strange way of putting it, but I think I understand.” She curled her legs under her body and sat back. “I haven’t dated anyone since Ryan left. I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to get back out there after a death in the family and a broken engagement.”
Gosh, she sounded pathetic to her own ears. What must the doctor think? Jill glanced at his face. For a second, she could’ve sworn he looked pleased, but the expression disappeared so quickly, Jill decided she was mistaken. Why would he care if she dated, when it was Ryan they were discussing? At least she thought that’s who they were talking about. Jill reached behind her and adjusted the can of pepper spray. It’d slipped and had started to jab her. That done, she took a sip of coffee.
“When was the last time you had sex?” Bacchus put his cup down and leaned closer.
Jill choked and her eyes started to water as coffee threatened to come out of her nose. “Now, wait one minute. That is none of your business.” She sat straighter, not liking the direction the conversation was going in. “I’m all for giving you information that may help Ryan deal with his grief or, more appropriately, his guilt, but my sex life is off limits. Got it?”
Bacchus sat back abruptly. “Fine. If you don’t want to help, say so. He’s staying away for your benefit, not his own.”
Jill felt heat radiate from the tips of her ears. This whole line of questioning made her uncomfortable. Not so much from the questions as from her answers. Had it really been a year since she’d had sex?
She cringed inwardly and debated whether to lie, but knew that wouldn’t help Ryan or her. Jill straightened in her chair and met Bacchus’ gaze. “It’s been a year, give or take a month.” Ryan hadn’t touched her after John’s death.
“So, it’s true that you’ve put your life on hold.” It wasn’t an accusation, only a statement of fact.
“I prefer to think of it as regrouping.” She scooted closer. “Surely as a psychiatrist you, of all people, understand that.”
“I do indeed, and I find it admirable, but Ryan and I worry that you aren’t taking care of your needs.”
“We aren’t talking about me. This is about Ryan, and it sounds like he’s taking care of his needs just fine. I have adult toys to take care of mine. I also have a job I love, training and breeding dogs. I keep up the house. It’s not much, but I think I’ve done a pretty good job with it. I may not use my degree, but I’m happy.” She hated having to defend herself. She was happy, damn it. Or at least she was starting to feel happy again.
Jill didn’t need a therapist telling her otherwise. No wonder John had fought her tooth and nail against going to see one.
“What was your field of study?” Bacchus asked.
She laughed at the sudden change of subject, grateful for the reprieve. “I’m surprised Ryan didn’t tell you. He loves shocking people. I have a degree in herpetology.”
“You study reptiles?” There was genuine interest in his voice and something flared to life in his eyes. For a second, they’d looked as if they had turned red, but that was impossible. A play of sunlight, she thought, dismissively.
“Most people fear reptiles, particularly snakes. This includes Ryan. Their first reaction is to want to kill the creature. If only people understood how necessary reptiles are to the ecosystem, they’d think twice before they destroyed them.”
“You don’t fear them? Not even a little?”
“No, I find them fascinating. I always have. Their ability to survive and adapt to the planet, despite catastrophic changes to the atmosphere. It’s miraculous really.”
“You sound like you wish you could be a reptile.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I think it would be cool. It would certainly be easier to live without all the emotional baggage.”
“I’m not sure that would be enjoyable. When that element is missing, life feels somewhat incomplete.”
She laughed. “Are you speaking from experience?”
“Perhaps,” Bacchus said, a secretive smile ghosting his sensuous lips.
Jill felt herself drawn toward him and had to force herself back.
“Reptiles are fascinating creatures,” he said, getting back t
o their previous subject.
“Each has its own unique personality and behavior patterns, much like humans.”
“Yes, exactly. I’ve always told John and Ryan that. They laughed at me.” Jill grinned, tucking a hair behind her ear. “Not that it really matters now. I don’t study reptiles anymore, only dogs. Man’s best friend and all that. They’re easier to handle and you don
’t have to move out of the area to find a job.”
“I see no dogs here.” Bacchus glanced around the room. “Are they in your backyard?”
“No.” She snorted. “There isn’t exactly enough space to breed dogs here at my house. If you hadn’t noticed, I live on a piece of property the size of a postage stamp.
The owners of the animals rent space at a kennel and give me access so that I can do my job.”
“Sounds like an acceptable arrangement.”
“Believe me, it is. I’m only responsible for them during breeding periods and obedience training.” They lapsed into silence for a few moments, each enjoying the others company, while they drank their coffee.
Bacchus was the first to speak. “Do you have many friends? Any prospective lovers?”
“Like I told you earlier, it’s been awhile. I’m a pretty private person. I keep a busy schedule between my job and… ” Waiting for Ryan to return. Jill stopped short of admitting the truth. She had spent the last year on hold, while Ryan had moved on. It was foolish. She’d been foolish, but not anymore. She met his questing gaze. “The things you mentioned aren’t always easy to come by, Dr. Bacchus.”
“Perhaps that will soon change.”
His innocent words sent tingles along Jill’s spine, leaving behind dark carnal thoughts and tempting erotic images. She squeezed her thighs together to stave off the sudden hunger building inside her. It would be so easy to lean forward and press her lips to his mouth. Would Bacchus taste as exotic as he looked? Would he take command like she longed for a man to do? Instead of acting upon her urges, Jill shrugged noncommittally. “We’ll see.”
Phantom Warriors: Bacchus Page 4
