“I appreciate that.”
She managed a slight smile. “Then you wait. Or I wait. In two weeks, I take a pregnancy test. With luck, there are babies.”
She felt the panic surging inside of her again. “I don’t understand. Why would she trust me with her children? Do you know that Jake can purr? He gets all fluffy and relaxed and purrs.”
“Jake’s a cat?” Raoul asked cautiously.
“Yes. I’ve had him over two months. He never purred for me. He barely even looked at me. Then he goes to Jo’s and purrs like his life depended on it. Which maybe to him it did.”
She shook her head. “I don’t get it. Crystal wanted those kids more than anything. After her husband was deployed to Iraq, she talked about getting pregnant when he got home. I went shopping with her and we looked at nursery furniture. She was so excited. After Keith died, she was still determined to be a mother. But that didn’t happen. Now I’m supposed to raise her children? And the whole in vitro thing. It’s not a hundred percent. Some or all of the embryos might not take. Which is a polite way of saying they’ll die. What if that’s my fault? What if there’s something wrong with me? What if they’re the same as Jake and they just plain don’t like me enough to hang on?”
She could feel herself slipping past panic and into full-on terror. She glanced at Raoul to see if he’d completely freaked out, only to find him staring at her. Intense staring, she thought, feeling a little awkward and exposed.
“TMI?” she asked softly. “Too much information?”
“You said Keith and Crystal.”
She nodded.
“Keith Westland?”
Now it was her turn to stare. “Yes. How did you know?”
He stood and walked the length of the office, then returned to stand in front of her. He was tall enough that it was uncomfortable to stare up at him. She stood.
“Raoul, what’s going on?”
“I know him,” he said flatly. “Knew him. Keith is a pretty common name, but he talked about his wife, Crystal. He talked about this town. That’s why I came here in the first place. He’s the reason I agreed to play in the celebrity golf tournament last year. I wanted to see where he’d grown up.”
“Wait a minute. How could you know Keith? Crystal never said anything.” Pia was reasonably confident that her friend would have mentioned being friends with someone like Raoul Moreno.
He looked out the window, as if he was remembering a long-ago event. “I was in Iraq. A few players go in the off-season. Just to hang with the troops. Help morale. That kind of thing. We were all assigned a soldier to keep us out of trouble. Keith was mine. We traveled all around the country, to the different bases. We bunked together, got shot at a few times. He saved my ass.”
Raoul rubbed his hands over his face. “That last day, we were heading for the airport. It was a big convoy. The players, a few VIPs, some politicians. There was an ambush. IEDs in the road, a couple of snipers in the hills. Keith was shot.” He shook his head. “I held him while he died. He couldn’t talk, couldn’t do anything but gasp for air. And then he was gone.”
She sank back into her chair. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.” Crystal hadn’t known, either.
“Reinforcements came and they helped us get home. When I got the invitation to the golf tournament, I came here. I guess to pay my respects to a place Keith had loved. I liked it, so I stayed.”
Pia hadn’t thought there would be any more surprises, but she’d been wrong.
He crouched in front of her. “I wanted to talk to Crystal, but I didn’t know what to say. I knew her husband all of two weeks and I was there when he died. Would that have comforted her?”
She felt his pain and lightly touched his shoulder. “The man she loved had died. I don’t think there was any comfort to be had.”
“I wondered if I’d taken the easy way out. I didn’t want to intrude or get involved.” He smiled faintly. “Now you’re responsible for Keith and Crystal’s babies.”
“Don’t remind me.”
He returned to his chair and stared at her. “You okay?”
“Trying to recover from the latest bombshell.” She winced. “Sorry. Bad word choice. Hearing that you knew Keith, that you were there when he died, feels oddly cosmic. Like the universe wants to make sure I have these babies.”
“You’re reading too much into it.”
“Am I? Don’t you think it’s just a little strange that we’re even having this conversation?”
“No. I moved to town because I met Keith. If he hadn’t been assigned to me, I never would have agreed to do the golf tournament and I wouldn’t be here, having this conversation with you.”
He made sense, but Pia still felt as if she was being pushed into a decision she wasn’t ready to make.
There was so much on the line. The three embryos meant she could have triplets. That was three babies. She had a tiny apartment. How could they all fit?
She grasped the water and held on as if the act of squeezing would prevent her from slipping over the edge. But after hearing about Raoul and Keith, even questioning the act of having the children seemed monumentally selfish.
“You don’t have to decide today,” he reminded her. “Or even this year.”
“I suppose. When I start to freak, I tell myself that I’m focusing on the wrong thing. This isn’t about me. It’s about Crystal and Keith and their children. Who am I to question whether or not I should have their children? Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Shouldn’t I already be on the hormones, buying cribs and reading that Expecting book everyone says is so great? If I was a good person, I wouldn’t be hesitating.”
Raoul stared into Pia’s hazel eyes, amazed by the kaleidoscope of emotions. She was possibly one of the most honest people he’d ever met. Crazy, but honest. Appealing, as well, but thinking she was hot wasn’t exactly appropriate.
Slowly, he took the water from her hands and set it on the table. Then he pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.
“It’s okay,” he told her.
She stood rigid in his embrace. “No, it’s not.”
He continued to hold on, moving one hand up and down her spine, enjoying the feel of her body next to his. Not that he was going to do anything about it. “Take a deep breath. In and out. Come on. Breathe.”
She did as he requested. A little of the tension eased out of her.
He couldn’t begin to imagine what she was going through. He was thrown by the fact that he’d known Crystal’s husband. For her, the connection was a thousand times more powerful.
Moving his hands to her shoulders, he stepped back far enough to see her face.
“You’re not a bad person,” he said firmly. “A bad person would walk away from the embryos without a second thought. As to taking your time to make the decision, why wouldn’t you? Having Crystal’s babies will change everything about your life. You’re allowed to have a plan.”
“But she’s my friend. I should…”
He shook his head. “No. Crystal didn’t give you a head’s up. This was dumped on you, Pia. Give yourself a break.”
She drew in another breath. “Okay. Maybe.”
Her eyes were large and filled with concern. Her mouth trembled. There was something vulnerable about her. Part of him wondered why Crystal hadn’t warned Pia in advance. Had it been the other woman’s advancing illness or something else? Had she not wanted to give Pia a choice?
Instead of finding an answer, he became aware of them standing very close together. He could feel the warmth of her body, the delicate bones under his fingers. She was tall but still had to look up to meet his gaze. Her curls brushed the backs of his hands. Her lips parted slightly, which made him want to lean in and—
He moved back with the speed that had gotten him signed by the Cowboys, then carefully tucked his hands into his jeans pockets.
Where the hell had that thought come from? Pia wasn’t for kissing. No one here was. He pl
anned to live in Fool’s Gold for a long time. If he wanted entertainment, he would take it somewhere else. Not here. Besides, since Caro, he hadn’t been interested. This was not the time for that to change.
Apparently Pia hadn’t noticed. Instead of being hurt or annoyed, she gave him a smile.
“Thanks. You’ve been great. I’m sorry I keep freaking out on you.”
“You’re dealing with a lot,” he said carefully.
“I know, but this is business. For what it’s worth, I really am a calm, rational person. Professional even. You probably don’t want to take my word for it, but you can ask around.”
He forced a chuckle. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I will, because I believe in worrying early and often. I’d promise to let you speak to my assistant next time, only I don’t have one. And with the fire and all, the town can’t afford to pay for one.”
“I can talk to you, Pia.”
“At least I didn’t faint this time.”
“Improvement.”
She sighed. “You’re nice, aren’t you? I don’t trust nice men.” She winced, then held up a hand. “Don’t take that wrong.”
“There’s a right way?”
“I’m just saying…” She shook her head, then grabbed her bag. “I’ll leave you with the paperwork. We can talk about the festivals and your camp later, if that’s okay. I really need to gather the tattered remains of my dignity and move on. Next time we meet, I swear I’ll be totally calm and rational. You’ll barely recognize me.”
He didn’t want her to go. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he wanted to pull her close again and tell her—
What? What was he going to say? He barely knew her. She had other things to deal with. The meeting didn’t matter.
But the problem wasn’t the meeting, and Raoul knew that. There was something about Pia. About how she got right to the heart of the problem. She was an intriguing combination of determined, vulnerable and impulsive. If she wasn’t careful, life would beat the crap out of her. Only the strong survived, and even they had to take a hit now and again.
Not his problem, he reminded himself. Nor did he want it to be.
“I’ll recognize you,” he told her. “You’re making too much of this.”
“So speaks a man who likely has never been hysterical even once in his entire life.” She met his eyes. “Thanks for being so…nice.”
“Even though it makes you not trust me?”
She winced. “I’m going to regret saying that forever.”
“No. I’m sure you’ll have other, bigger regrets that fill your mind.”
“Ouch. That’s not very encouraging.”
“We all have regrets. Things we want to change or undo. Nothing about today is worth a second of your worry.”
She hesitated. “I thought you’d be different. Cynical. Self-absorbed. You know—a sports star.”
“You should have met me ten years ago.”
Her mouth curved into a smile. “Wild and impetuous?”
“A typical college jock. My high school girlfriend dumped me my freshman year. I spent a few months feeling sorry for myself, healed and returned to my sophomore year only to discover I was a god.”
“Did you perform miracles?”
“I thought I could.”
“I’m glad to know you went through a bad-boy period.”
“Mine lasted several years.”
Right through his signing with the Cowboys and beyond. He’d been on the team just over a year when Eric Hawkins—otherwise known as Hawk—had burst into his hotel room, waking Raoul and the twins he’d been sleeping with.
Hawk had been his high school football coach and mentor. He’d ushered the girls out of the room, nearly drowned Raoul in coffee, then had taken him to the gym for a workout that had no pity on Raoul’s impressive hangover.
But that hadn’t been the worst of it. The really bad part had been the disappointment in Hawk’s eyes. The silence that said he’d expected better.
“What changed you?” she asked.
“Someone I care about had expectations and I let him down.”
“Your dad?”
“Better than my dad. It’s impossible to have nothing to lose when someone loves you.”
She blinked. “That was profound.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“You saw the light and let go of your bad-boy ways?”
“Pretty much.”
After the workout, Hawk had taken Raoul to the poor side of Dallas, driving past people living out of shopping carts.
“Get over yourself,” was all his former coach had said.
Raoul had gone home feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. The next day he’d moved out of the hotel, bought a house in a normal neighborhood and had started volunteering.
Two years later he’d met Caro at a charity ball, which had proved life wasn’t perfect.
“So you believe people can change,” she said.
“Don’t you?”
“I’m not sure. Does the meanness go away or does it just get covered up?”
“Who was mean to you?”
She sighed. “And here I was supposed to gather up my tattered dignity and just go. You’ve been great. I’ll be in touch, Raoul. Thanks for everything.”
She walked out of the office.
Not sure if he should go after her, he hesitated. Then Dakota stepped in from the back and stared at him.
“Did I hear that right?”
Raoul shifted uneasily. “It depends on what you heard.”
“You knew Keith Westland?”
He nodded.
She crossed toward him and sank onto the chair Pia had used. “I won’t say anything, of course. About you knowing him or the babies. This is a lot to take in. Talk about responsibility. I guess I knew that Crystal would have to leave her embryos to someone, but I never really thought about it. Did Pia know before?”
He remembered his first meeting with her. “I don’t think so. She thought she was getting the cat.”
“Right. She was taking care of Crystal’s cat.” Dakota looked stunned. “What’s with Crystal not warning her? You can’t just leave someone potential children and not even give them a hint. Or maybe she knew Pia would freak and didn’t want to be talked out of it.” Dakota glanced at him. “Is she okay?”
“She’s dealing. She’s surprised Crystal picked her.”
“Really? I’m not. Pia might not be the obvious choice, but she makes sense. She would do the right thing.” Dakota laughed. “After some serious kicking and screaming. Wow—Pia’s going to have Crystal’s babies.”
“She hasn’t decided that yet.”
Dakota glanced at him. “Do you really think she’ll walk away from those babies?”
He shook his head. He couldn’t see it, but then he’d been wrong before.
He took the chair behind the desk. “You and Crystal and Pia all grew up in town together?”
“Oh, yeah. Crystal was a few years older, but she was one of those really nice people who wanted to take care of the world. She worked at the library after school. She was always there to help with school projects.” Dakota wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe I’m old enough to remember when there wasn’t an Internet.”
“You’re twenty-seven.”
“Practically ancient.” She laughed. “Pia was a grade ahead of me and my sisters, but we knew her. Or at least of her.” Her eyes brightened with humor. “Pia was one of the popular girls. Pretty, great clothes. She had the boyfriends everyone else wanted.”
The humor faded. “Then her dad died and her mom went away. Everything changed for her. Back in high school I would have sworn Pia was taking off for New York or L.A. Instead she stayed here.”
Which meant something had happened to her.
“I guess it’s where she belongs,” Dakota murmured.
“You came back, as well,” he said. “There must be something about this place.”
�
��You’re right.” She laughed. “Be careful, Raoul. If you stay too long, you’ll never escape.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
But the truth was, he wanted a place to call home. Somewhere that felt right.
There had been a time when he’d wanted it all—a wife and a family. Now he was less sure. Back when he’d married her, he would have sworn he knew everything about Caro. That nothing she did would ever surprise him.
He’d been wrong, and in finding out the truth about what she’d done, a part of him had been destroyed. Pia had asked if he thought people could change. He did, because he’d seen it over and over again. But broken trust was different. Even if it was repaired, it was never the same again. There would always be cracks.
CHAPTER FOUR
ONE OF THE PERKS of her job was that although Pia was a part of city government, she didn’t have to participate in any of the really boring stuff. Sure, once a year she had to present a budget, and she was accountable for every penny. But that was easily done on a good spreadsheet program. When it came to the city council meetings, she was strictly a visitor, not a regular.
So when the mayor called Pia and asked her to attend an emergency session, she found herself feeling a little nervous as she took her seat at the long conference table.
“What’s up?” she asked Charity, the city planner. “Marsha sounded less than calm, which is unusual for her.”
“I’m not sure,” Charity admitted. “I know she wanted to talk about the school fire.”
Which made sense, but why would Pia have to be there for that?
“How are you feeling?” she asked her friend.
Charity was about four months along. “Great. A little puffy, although no one seems to notice but me.” She grinned. “Or they’re lying. I’m good with either option.”
Charity had moved to town in early spring. In a matter of a few weeks, she’d fallen for professional cyclist Josh Golden, gotten pregnant and discovered she was the mayor’s long-lost granddaughter.
Susan Mallery Fool's Gold Series Volume One: Chasing PerfectAlmost PerfectSister of the BrideFinding Perfect Page 65
