Kelley and Suzi, thank you for your incredible editing abilities. These books would be nothing without you.
Jaye, you continue to rock the formatting. Thank you.
Donna, thank you for your superb proofing skills.
Superfans!!!! You rock. Sometimes, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and then I remember that I have you all and it keeps me moving. Thank you!!!!!
A huge shout out to the following: Alicia Arana, Alie Morgan, Amanda Showalter, Amber Christiansen, Amy Condra, Andrea Hubler, Angelica Espejel, Anne Loshuk.,Ashley Martinez, Astrid Rudloff, Belinda Tran, Bev Christensen, Brandie Gillian, Brenda Hodges, Brianna Snowball, Butterfly Mentions, Caitlin Simmons, Caroline Jenkins, Cassandra Sue Dahlin, Chris Radentz, Cortnee Hancock, Danyelle Wadsworth, Darcy Whitaker, Dawn Foster, Debbie Rodriguez, Denise Austin, Diana Page, Dora Zeno, Faydra Fuller, Hanife Omerod, Isis Ray-Sisco, Jai Henson, Jennifer Jeray, Jennifer LaRocca, Jennifer McIntosh, Julie Hainsworth, Katie Odom, Kaydrielle Pickett, Kaylee Truax, Kristen Rummerfield, Laurie Murray, Leslee Lusk, Linda Levine, Linda Longo, Linda Lutchka, Maria Altieri, Marie Rice, Mary Cline, Mary Martin, Patti Hays, Samantha Murphy, Sara Groenheide, Sarah Jonak, Seraphia Sparks, Sharon Abrams, Shelly Small, Sherry Beasley, Stephanie Pittser, Tera Comer, Willow Cottage, and Zoe Cannon.
For A.J.
You’ve been with me since you lived among the stars. Return as a king.
Chapter 1
The Attack
Lights shone above Zwaantie’s head. The music started again in earnest. The room felt infinitely smaller than it had moments earlier when the Old Mother had told Zwaantie she was responsible for every death by viper.
Ari put his arm around her as they inched toward the doors. Ari—the boy who told her she was his soul mate. Her head spun. This was too much.
People swirled around them, all heading the same direction. No one shoved or pushed. Everyone was happy and giddy. Everyone except Zwaantie. Discs flashed in her direction, and she tried to keep a smile on her face. The room was too hot with the cooling potion in Zwaantie’s veins having worn out. She felt lightheaded and nauseous, desperately wanting to escape everything around her.
An arm snaked through hers. Sage laid her head on Zwaantie’s shoulder. Zwaantie didn’t know what to do. Everything felt surreal.
Leo could come home now. There was no reason for him to continue the investigation. She pressed her hands against her stomach, fighting to keep down the bile.
He’d spent all that time searching for the reason why vipers were killing people, but Zwaantie was at fault. She didn’t love Leo enough. How did one force love? She couldn’t magically change her feelings, though she wanted to.
“Come on, it’s after six. We can go home and sleep in our beds,” Sage said, tugging Zwaantie around a group of laughing Stellans.
At least Ari had been the only other one who heard she was murdering the people of Sol by not giving her love to Leo.
“Let’s go home,” Ari said. He put a hand on her back and led them both outside. They staggered out onto the street, and Zwaantie struggled to put one foot in front of the other, her heart heavy with guilt.
“Are we taking a carriage?” Zwaantie asked. She brought death to the people of Stella. The responsibility placed on her wasn’t fair. She never asked for this. Her stomach rolled.
Sage shook her head. “We’re close to the castle. We only took one last night to make an entrance.” Sage handed her the cape Zwaantie had worn last night. “Here, put this on and put the hood up. We don’t want Ticker pictures before we’ve had time to clean up.”
Zwaantie did as she was told, grateful for Sage’s foresight. Dealing with the heat was better than having to stop and deal with people.
Sage held Zwaantie’s hand and led her along, so Zwaantie didn’t have to think about where she needed to go. On the building in front of her, the Ticker played lots of pictures of her, Ari, and Sage arriving to the lock-in. Was that only a few hours ago? It felt like years.
They were stunning in their black and red outfits, but she was sure she appeared pretty rough now, not having slept. She stared at the current picture of her standing in the middle of Sage and Ari with a wide smile on her face. She tried to focus on herself, but all she could see was Ari.
When those pictures were taken, she bore no responsibility for the deaths of the people of Stella, and Ari hadn’t yet proclaimed she was his soul mate. Things had been complicated before, when she had to worry about Phoenix and marrying a man she didn’t love, but this was so much worse. She’d never have peace.
Zwaantie risked a glance to Sage’s other side. The draw to him was almost overwhelming. Ari strolled along with his hands in his pockets. His face was serious, contemplative, and devastatingly handsome as usual. Zwaantie wanted to know what he was thinking. Surely he had an opinion about what she said.
The Old Mother. Wilma. Zwaantie’s mind struggled to make sense of how those two could be the same woman. She’d worked alongside Wilma for years and even spent the night in her cottage a few times when a birth went too long. Next to Luna, this woman had been her best friend. Why would Wilma want her dead? The betrayal was too much. Could Zwaantie have misunderstood? Maybe Wilma was under the influence of the Voice as well.
There were too many unanswered questions. Though they didn’t really matter. Friendships were a luxury she couldn’t worry about. What mattered was what Wilma said. The wedding wasn’t enough. She had to love Leo. She didn’t even know how to begin. He wasn’t around enough for her to love. All those deaths were her responsibility, and if she didn’t start loving him soon, more people would die. The wedding wouldn't change anything.
She let out a breath. The good news was that the only other person who knew was Ari. Thank Sol for small blessings. Zwaantie needed to talk to him about it. Maybe he could help her. But then the truth slammed into her. She couldn't talk to him. Not ever. Not since he’d told her she was his soul mate.
Her insides squirmed. Those words had touched her in ways she couldn't even understand, making her want Ari in a way she’d never wanted anyone. But she couldn’t be with him. She had to learn to love Leo. Ari should’ve kept his mouth shut. It wasn’t fair of him to put her in this position. She had to love Leo, and Ari would be a distraction.
The smart thing would be to forget the words and focus on Leo. It’d be much easier if he were here with her. There had to be a way to get him to return. The truth about her role in the viper deaths would be the easiest. But also, the hardest.
Leo knew she didn’t love him, but how could she possibly call him up and say, “All those people who died. That was my fault. You need to come home so I can learn to love you.” He’d probably send her back to Sol.
The crowd pressed in around them, but thankfully there were no screams about princesses and no discs were flashing. Zwaantie wanted to blend in for a bit and not worry about things. Once she got home, she was going to hide in Sage’s room and take a nice long nap.
A woman leaned into her side and whispered, “Baby killer.”
Zwaantie jerked her head around, but the woman was already gone. Had she imagined it, or did someone else know? This wasn’t possible. No one could have heard. The Old Mother had talked to her and Ari alone. Doubt wiggled in. Perhaps someone was listening after all.
No, her mind was overthinking things, working too hard. She must’ve imagined it. That was what she was though, wasn’t she? A baby killer.
Ari gave Sage a nod and dodged into a small alley with no people. Sage followed, dragging Zwaantie along. Zwaantie stumbled over her feet.
“We should stop and get pastries before we return,” Ari said.
Sage clapped her hands. “Oh, yes. Let’s go to the Little Kitten.”
Zwaantie glanced away to avoid Ari’s eyes, which had strayed to her. She’d never be able to meet them again. Maybe the castle wasn’t so safe after all.
She wanted to go home, go to bed, and try to make sense of what happened. Alone. Becaus
e she couldn’t tell anyone, and talking to Ari was out of the question.
“We are not going to a cat café. They always try to drink my coffee. How about the Minty Road?” Ari asked. Zwaantie’s heart beat a little faster at the sound of his voice. This was absurd. She couldn't even listen to him talk without reacting. She spun around and tried to watch the pictures on the Ticker, which was worse because half of them had Ari in them. His shaggy brown hair and piercing gray eyes made her swoon.
“No way. That place reeks of bad dates. Please, can we go to the Little Kitten? I want to get pancake balls,” Sage said.
“It’s way out of the way. At least the Minty Road is on our way. Zwaantie, what do you want to do?”
“Hmm?” She’d been trying not to listen, but the sound of her name on his lips sent shivers down her spine. She didn’t care what they did. She had monumental weights on her shoulders, and here they were arguing over where to eat. She longed for that kind of carelessness.
“Where do you want to eat?” Ari asked, his voice sweet. Oh Sol, he needed to leave the city.
No, leaving the city wouldn’t be enough, he needed to leave the country.
“It doesn’t matter. You two decide,” Zwaantie answered, her eyes trained on the Ticker so she didn’t have to look at him.
“Fine,” Sage grumbled. “We’ll go to the Minty Road.”
They plunged into the people surging on the street, and Zwaantie welcomed the distraction. The street grew more crowded, and Zwaantie had to pay attention to where Sage was going. People jostled around her as shop doors opened. A particularly fat woman shoved in between them to get to the fruit market. Zwaantie had to let go of Sage’s hand and then couldn’t find her again.
Zwaantie shrugged and continued on her way, needing to think. A walk would do her good, and when she was done, she could find a carriage to bring her to the castle. At least now, she could think outside of Ari’s influence.
All around her, buildings lit up. Bright greens and blues were common, but most colors were represented. Down an alley she spotted a shimmer like the one Leo brought her through on her first day in Stella—the one that turned into a forest in the middle of the city. She made a left and stepped into the shimmer, hoping to find another forest—a place where she could sit and enjoy peace and quiet.
A bright sun hung in the corner. Fields of tulips spread out as far as the eye could see. The scent was not quite the same as the fields at home. A small sign was perched on the edge of the field. “Field of Lovers. Step through for the memories.”
This wasn’t what she was hoping for, but she reveled in the sun. She wandered through the pink tulips first and caught a whiff of Phoenix. The field smelled of trees and grass. Memories of their time near the pond surged in her mind. Her heart ached knowing their relationship was over—had been a lie, really. Not real. At least Ari had given her someone else to pine over so the pain of Phoenix wasn’t so fresh.
The flowers shifted from pink to yellow, and Phoenix’s scent disappeared, only to be replaced by salt, sand, and coconut. Leo. She was supposed to love him, and every part of her wanted to. Except the part that longed for Ari. The fate of Stella rested on falling in love with Leo, but for some reason, she couldn’t do it. Leo was comfortable. Warm. Friendly. He’d make a spectacular husband, but he didn’t ignite her soul.
She told him about her love for Phoenix, and he was angry, but that would pass. Given enough time, she could learn to love him.
She wandered farther into the field and found herself among the red tulips. Ari. His scent overwhelmed her. Oranges and sandalwood. The almost kiss tickled at her lips. She remembered the way her body felt pressed against his. Desire like she’d never known filled her stomach. She nearly stopped walking. Was this love? Or lust? She had no idea. As long as he was around, she’d never be able to love Leo.
Without warning, she stumbled out of the illusion. The intense feelings of desire disappeared. Everything was dark. She waited a second for her eyes to adjust. When they did, she noticed she’d come out on the other side of the alley.
The darkness seemed oppressive somehow, and she was ready to go to the castle and sleep. Fear snuck into her chest because she had no idea where she was. She crept out to the main road and searched for a carriage, but could find none. She wandered a few more blocks, keeping her hood up and head down.
People still rushed around, the illusion still haunting her. She’d have passion with Ari, but she couldn’t give up on Leo. Not now. Ari would lead her to the same choices she’d had with Phoenix. Honor or love. It always came down to those two choices but there had never been a real choice. Her mother had been right. Honor was more important.
She was done being a child, but she couldn’t be an adult with either Ari or Sage around. Ari for obvious reasons, and Sage because she was reckless and irresponsible, even if she were Zwaantie’s guard. Besides, where Sage went, Ari did too. If Zwaantie was to fulfill her duties, she would do those things her mother would do. She needed to act like a queen and learn how to love Leo. Maybe she’d even be able to prevent a few deaths.
Instantly, she felt better. Everything would work out because she was making the right choice.
The street cleared, and she found herself in what was undoubtedly the poor part of town. In Sol, it would’ve been the slave district. The houses were run-down, and the streets smelled of refuse. The lights were faded, and buildings crowded in oppressively. Thank goodness this part of town had yet to wake up because she feared what the people might do to her. She needed to find a carriage.
A hand gripped her elbow. A tall thin man with light skin held her. He wore a hood, and she couldn’t see his face clearly, but a dagger glowed blue in his hand.
Before Zwaantie could get out a scream, he growled and thrust the knife straight at Zwaantie’s heart.
Chapter 2
The Defeat
Zwaantie dodged out of the way, the knife grazing her arm. She backed up, and the man pressed her against a wall. Think. She wasn’t trained how to defend herself. Glimpses of Phoenix flashed before her eyes. But this wasn’t Phoenix. She squinted at the face of her attacker.
He was slightly taller than she, with pale skin—a Solite. Probably one of those slaves. Was the Voice influencing him? If so, then he was programed not to stop until he succeeded. She wouldn’t be able to reason with him or fight him off. He would fulfill his mission or die trying.
She frantically searched for help, but they were utterly alone. Stars. The one time she actually wanted people around, and they’d disappeared. She fought against his body, but he held her tight.
The man smiled, showing bright white teeth. For a second, Zwaantie pitied him. Then she shoved against him, but it did no good. He was too strong.
He raised his arm, the knife glinting in the eerie light. Zwaantie whipped her arm up into his, jarring her bones and leaving the tip dangerously close to her face. If he moved even an inch, she’d lose her eye.
His other arm pressed against her neck, and she struggled to breathe. There was no way out of this. She clawed at his arm, but it did no good.
She kicked him in the shin, and he backed away, clutching his leg. Zwaantie fell over, trying to catch her breath. She crawled away as fast as she could, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stand. The man grabbed her foot, and with one swift movement, flipped her over. The victory in his eyes was clear. Zwaantie was about to die.
“Please, don’t do this,” she pleaded.
He raised the knife.
She flailed, not caring if the knife got her arm or anything else. She hit his face, and he grunted. His arm came down, and her shoulder screamed out in pain. The knife stuck out of her flesh. Zwaantie cried out and grappled at the handle. The man shoved the knife farther in and twisted.
She screamed. Pain she’d never before known filled her body. Stars flashed in her eyes, and she knew she was about to black out.
He twisted the knife again, and she yelped.
Footst
eps pounded the pavement. The man jerked his head up, scrambled off her, and ran away. Tears flowed down her face, and relief flooded her stomach. She was saved.
“Whoa, don’t move,” Ari said, leaning over her. He’d saved her. She’d be okay.
“Thank you,” she croaked. She’d never been happier to see him.
Sage knelt down next to her, her face full of worry.
“I'm so sorry. We lost you. Leo is going to kill me. What kind of guard am I, if people keep getting to you?” She patted at Zwaantie’s body. “Are you okay?”
Zwaantie squeezed her eyes shut, grunting against the pain. “My shoulder.”
Sage let out a squeak, and Zwaantie opened her eyes, but they swam with tears fogging her view. She was having trouble breathing. Ari placed his hand on her good shoulder. “I’m going to help you sit up.”
Zwaantie nodded, and he gently lifted her up. She hissed at the pain.
After she was in a sitting position, Ari inspected the dagger, but didn’t touch anything.
“A few inches lower and he’d have gotten your heart. I don’t want to take it out yet though. A healer needs to do that. Sage, call a healer van.” He gave Zwaantie an encouraging smile.
Sage took out her disc and said, “Healer van.” Then she pocketed it and stared at the knife. “This is getting ridiculous.”
“What? The attempts on my life?” Zwaantie’s breath was uneven. She had trouble getting the words out. The pain was too much.
“Was it a Solite?” Sage asked.
“Yes,” Zwaantie said, her teeth gritted.
“Leo needs to put someone on this.” Sage creased her eyebrows and frowned. She continued to watch Zwaantie as if she was about to pass out at any moment, which was entirely possible.
“No. We promised we wouldn’t tell him about the Voice. Please. He has enough to worry about. I don’t want him worry about this as well,” Zwaantie said.
Ari grinned like he knew something Zwaantie didn’t, and Zwaantie glanced between the both of them. She adjusted her position and yelped with the pain.
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