He draped the sheet across the couch, pulled a couple of pillows off the bed, and settled in. She’d be happier alone than with him, in spite of her advances. She didn’t want him. Not really. She wanted to close her eyes and pretend Ari was still here, and that thought made his stomach sour.
He pressed his hand against his chest. The pain of losing Ari was so hard. He wanted his brother here. He wanted to be angry and fuming because Zwaantie slept with Ari instead of him.
Anger was a thousand times better than grief.
Chapter 7
The Funeral
Zwaantie woke in the morning with crusty eyes. She rubbed at them, sat up, and wrinkled her nose. While Leo had slept on the couch, Molly had not. Dog smell. Yuck. Feet in the air, she snored softly.
Zwaantie wasn’t sure what was worse, the prospect of sleeping with Leo or his dog. She sat up taller to see if he was still on the couch. He was gone. Thank Sol. She let out a breath of relief and flopped back.
Last night had been a disaster. She had to sleep with him, but he was having none of it. Maybe she’d been too forward, but really, what was she supposed to do? He’d never believe she loved him. She was quite mortified he’d laughed at her. He did that a lot. Maybe marrying him had been a mistake. She’d successfully buried some of the pain of Ari’s death, and Leo threw it in her face.
Her heart sank. Today was the funeral. After this, Ari would be nothing but a memory. She wasn’t even allowed to sit in a place of honor as his wife. She’d have to sit next to Leo and pretend she wasn’t completely broken up.
Zwaantie found the black wedding dress she’d worn the day before and put it on after her shower. Everything felt so empty. She missed having company around. Especially Sage. Perhaps this was her life now. Married and alone.
A soft knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” Zwaantie called.
Sage poked her head in. Her eyes were red as well. She shuffled in and embraced Zwaantie. How many more nights would they cry themselves to sleep?
“Since when do you knock?” Zwaantie asked.
“Since you’re married, and I don’t want to walk in on anything.” Normally a phrase like that would elicit a grin from Sage’s face, but there was nothing but sadness.
“Nothing to walk in on.”
“It will come with time.” Sage patted her arm but stared off into space. Sage had so much to think about, and here she was worrying about Zwaantie.
She couldn’t tell Sage about the baby even though she wanted to. The king made her swear she wouldn’t tell a soul, including Leo. Especially Leo. She hated shouldering the secret and responsibility alone.
Zwaantie lost it, and Sage held her tight.
Sage let out a breath. “We’re sending your mother home during the funeral.”
“Why?” Zwaantie didn’t really care one way or another.
“Because most of the country will be distracted, and she’ll be safer that way.”
“I don’t care about her safety.” Zwaantie was being cruel, but if Mother and Raaf had kept on those necklaces, Ari would still be alive. It didn’t make sense to blame her mother, but she had to blame someone.
Sage frowned. “Her safety is important. We rely on Sol for our food, and we need to maintain a good relationship. People are angry with Sol because Raaf killed Ari. They don’t understand how precarious our position is.”
“Do people blame me?” Zwaantie’s heart tightened. As if she needed one more thing to worry about.
“No. There is a Ticker video of the death, and everyone sees how you cared for Ari. People see you as practically Stellan now. It’s a good thing. I know this hard, but before we go to the funeral, I need you to talk to your mother.”
“What? Why?” Zwaantie clenched her jaw. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her wretched mother.
“You need to pretend that everything is okay. We need her to go home and not cut us off. We rely on that food.”
One more thing she had to do because of her position. Pretty soon she wouldn’t be allowed to have any of her own opinions. She hadn’t realized how much Stellans relied on Sol. She’d always worried about what Stella could do to Sol, but really, Sol could starve Stella if it chose to do so.
Zwaantie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.”
They met Mother just outside the castle doors, surrounded by several guards.
Zwaantie stood a few feet away from her. “I’m sorry you were locked up. You understand we had to take every precaution.”
Mother stood tall, her face hard. “This was unnecessary.”
Zwaantie sighed and tried to keep her voice light. “Raaf killed Ari. It was necessary.”
“This is a mistake. Raaf wouldn’t do this.” Mother clasped her hands in front of her.
Sage stepped up. “Yes, he did. Excuse my forwardness, Your Majesty, but Raaf killed my brother. Probably at the behest of the Voice. Zwaantie is in danger as is all of Stella. You must go home and arrest him. Let us come and interrogate him. Perhaps we can discover who the Voice is.”
Zwaantie was grateful for Sage stepping in. Zwaantie wouldn’t have been as nice.
Mother sputtered and took two steps back. “Don’t be absurd. You can’t come into Stella and interrogate anyone, especially not my son. Stay on your own side of the wall.”
Sage clenched her fists, but Zwaantie spoke. “Mother, we’re sending you home with a disc. They work in Sol. When you find Raaf, please, call me, and I will talk to him and find out why he tried to kill me.”
Mother’s lips formed a tight line. “He wasn’t trying to kill you. You saw it wrong. It was someone else. It had to be.”
Zwaantie was losing her patience. “Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. There were witnesses. The Ticker has pictures.” Zwaantie rubbed her forehead. “Just go home.”
Mother turned on her heel and climbed into her carriage. Zwaantie pinched her nose. “Did someone pack a disc for my mother? At some point she’s going to believe me, and then she’ll want to call me.”
Sage pulled out her own disc, typed a few words, and slid it into her pocket. “One of the guards will make sure she has what she needs. How are you feeling?”
“Like the love of my life just died.” She didn’t want to talk about her mom. Today was Ari’s day. His last one. Everything should be about him.
Sage gripped her hand. “I know. Everything feels empty without him, doesn’t it?”
Before Zwaantie could respond, Leo appeared at the doorway. “It’s time to go.”
Zwaantie refused to meet his eyes. She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, and Sage hung onto her other side. She was grateful she had Sage because Leo would be no comfort at all.
The air was heavy and smelled of the sea. Discs flashed everywhere. Zwaantie tried to keep her head down, not wanting her face in any pictures. This time she sat in the front row, with the royal family, which was her right as Leo’s wife. She glanced up and saw the king sitting next to Ari. King Ajax stared at the body. Zwaantie should be up there with him. Ari was her husband.
The Ticker wouldn’t know what to make of her being next to Ari. This was so unfair.
Leo grasped her hand and leaned down. “I’m so sorry for your pain. I may not be happy about this, but I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”
She let out a breath and met his eyes. “Thank you.”
Hurt crawled across his face. She’d been so caught up in her own grief that she forgot about his. Ari was his brother and close friend. Ari had left hearts crushed all over Stella.
The king stood and began speaking, but Zwaantie didn’t hear a word. She stared at the lifeless face of her beautiful husband. He looked so peaceful in death. She half-expected him to sit up, give her a grin, and say, “Just kidding. I’m not dead.” She wished for it desperately, but of course it didn’t come true. He was truly gone.
Tears flowed freely as they lit the logs be
neath Ari’s body. The flames exploded to life, and Zwaantie had to cover her face from the heat. Leo pulled her close to him. The stench of burning flesh hit her next, and she covered her nose with a scarf. She remembered this from Astrid’s funeral, but she wasn’t prepared for it. A few moments later, and it was done. The flames disappeared, and all that was left was ash.
The king scooped a small handful and trudged to the ocean. Ari’s siblings followed. Zwaantie and the other spouses went next. As she scooped a small amount into her hands, she liked to think she’d gotten his heart.
She stood next to the king and scattered the ash into the sea. Ajax put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. His affection was comforting. She was grateful to have a parent who actually cared about her, even if it was just an in-law.
“He loved you more than anything. He died a happy man.”
Zwaantie sniffed. “Thank you. I loved him too. He took my heart with him.”
“I know, mine too.”
Zwaantie watched as the rest of Ari’s close friends and distant family scattered his ashes. She and the king stayed long after everyone else left, staring out into the sea.
Ari was truly gone.
Chapter 8
The Secret
Zwaantie cried herself to sleep, but the tears weren’t as bad as the night before. Leo still slept on the couch, and Molly snored next to Zwaantie.
She slipped out before Leo woke up because didn’t want to face him and reality. Figuring out how to sleep with him and convince him that Ari’s baby was his plagued her. Part of her wondered if she should just tell him, but she didn’t want to betray Ajax’s trust.
She went to Sage because Sage always gave her good advice. She pushed the door open.
“Sage,” she called, the meows of a dozen cats greeting her. Maybe she was still sleeping. Zwaantie picked up Andromeda, who sniffed her shoulder accusingly. She could probably smell Molly.
The bed was still made up. Sage spent the night elsewhere. Zwaantie frowned. Sage often partied pretty hard, but she usually slept at home.
Zwaantie sank onto the couch, and three cats jumped up next to her. She couldn’t blame Sage for wanting to forget about the day’s events, but she was curious where she had been. Zwaantie played with the kittens until the door creaked open, and Sage slipped in barefoot, wearing only a long shirt, her hair a mess.
She jumped at the sight of Zwaantie. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to get away from Leo.”
Sage leaned against the wall and scratched her head. “Is he getting handsy already? I can talk to him.”
“No. He’s not Ari. I don’t love him, and I’m tired of pretending. I don’t have to pretend with you.” She felt comfortable in Sage’s room. The emptiness in her heart was a little less here.
Sage picked up one of the kittens. “Let’s watch movies and forget about everything.”
Zwaantie shook her head. Movies would be a band-aid. “No. I need more than that. Astrid said that Xandria gave her a potion to help her cope. Do you think she could do the same for me?”
Sage didn’t answer for a second, her face blank. “Are you sure? Astrid was never the same after that potion. Some would say she was more relaxed and fun, but it fundamentally changed her. Is that what you want? Because I like Zwaantie just the way she is.”
Zwaantie let out a breath. “Maybe not something permanent, but something to help me deal with things now. Ari’s dead, which is going to take me a long time to get over. But I can’t take long because I need to deal with the affairs of the kingdom. We still don’t know where we are on the Voice. Sure, we think it is my father, but we don’t have evidence. Not really. Phoenix watching Luna go down the wrong hall once isn’t enough. Zwaantie said this in a rush. Everything had been hanging over her head, and the second she tried to think of solutions to the Voice, Ari rushed back into her head. “I can’t think about any of this because the pain is too much. Please. Take me to Xandria’s.”
Sage gave a slow nod. “While you are here, we need to talk about something.”
“What?” Zwaantie prepared for the worst. We need to talk had become dreaded words to Zwaantie.
“Are you ready for the coronation?”
This wasn’t so bad. “It’s a ceremony.”
“It’s where you become queen of Stella.”
According to Ajax, she was already queen. The actual act of succession was kept from everyone except the king and queen. Though that meant at some point Leo would find out eventually she was already queen. Zwaantie wondered when Ajax would impart that knowledge. Hopefully not for a few years.
“I know. But Leo will be king. I’ll just be his queen.”
Sage shook her head, frustration on her features. “No. You’ll hold as much power as him. Have you guys talked about Sol yet?”
“What do you mean?”
“Eventually you’ll be the king and queen of Sol as well.”
Zwaantie rubbed her head. “No. See, I can’t think about any of this right now. All I think about is Ari. Please. Take me to Xandria.” That much power seemed so unbelievable. King and queen of the whole world. She already had a target on her back. What would power like that bring?
Sage looked like she wanted to say something else but bit her lip. “Okay, we’ll go see Xandria. Can I shower first?”
Zwaantie relaxed. She was going to get help. She wanted to change the subject and not think about taking her place as queen until she was able to put Ari out of her mind. “Where were you anyway? Obviously you didn’t sleep here.”
“Out,” Sage said and disappeared into her bathroom before Zwaantie could press her. That wasn’t suspicious at all. Maybe this would prove a good distraction for Zwaantie.
A knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” Zwaantie called.
Viggo strolled through the door with a handful of assistants. A visit from Viggo was never really a good thing. Usually it meant she did something wrong for the Ticker.
“Where’s Sage?” Viggo asked.
Oh, good. Maybe it was Sage who was in trouble. “Shower.”
He shooed the cats off the other couch and sat across from her. “I wanted to talk to you anyway. I need help.”
Oh, no. Zwaantie creased her eyebrows. “With what?”
“The Ticker. It’s a mess with these deaths. We need to bring it back to normal. The coronation is tomorrow, and we need to put Ari’s death behind us. You are the key.”
One more thing she was responsible for. There were dozens of royalty that could bring the Ticker back to happier things. “Why me?”
“You are the Solite princess who killed the vipers, but all people can talk about is Ari’s death. Tomorrow you’ll be our queen.”
“That means I shouldn’t have to do anything.” She said the words more brusquely than she intended, but her patience was thin.
Viggo didn’t seem fazed. “Except, you’re not helping the situation. I know Ari was your friend, but you’re grieving too hard. Every picture out there of you is sad. The most prominent one is you and the king standing by the ocean with his arm around you. Which is sweet, but people are speculating you and the king are having an affair.”
“What?” Of all the things for people to think, that was the last one Zwaantie wanted. She missed the simple days of Sol where no one gossiped about the love lives of the royalty. How could people possibly think she and Ajax had anything going on? He was a loving father-in-law, and she appreciated him.
Zwaantie closed her eyes and leaned back. Poor Leo. He would be crushed. Not only did he have to deal with her loving Ari, but now he had to contend with people thinking she was spurning him for the king. This was a mess.
“You can see where I might be concerned,” Viggo said.
Zwaantie met his eyes. “Of course. I’m concerned as well. Ajax treats me more like a daughter than my own father does. I hate that I have to hide my relationship with him. But I understa
nd. How can I help?”
“You don’t have to avoid my father completely. That will be just as suspicious since the rumors are out there. But go out with Sage today and get a knock-out dress from Nash. I’ll send him a message telling him what I want. He’ll be dressing Leo for the coronation as well. You’ll have to match. If there is any way possible for you to make it look like you are comforting Sage and trying to cheer her up, that would be amazing. I know you were close with Ari as well, but the last thing we need is for the people to think you were sleeping with him too. Don’t wear black today.”
“The funeral was yesterday.” Once again, she wished she’d been born a peasant instead of royalty. It was such a curse to always have to be someone you were not.
“I know. But given the circumstances, it will look better if you don’t mourn him as we do. People might read more into your mourning than we want. Besides, it will help Stellans move on if they see their queen doing so.”
Zwaantie squeezed her eyes shut and pinched her nose. She was taking something from Xandria today, no matter what the cost. This was ridiculous. If she was going to pretend Ari meant nothing to her, then she needed help. Forget the Voice. The Ticker was going to be the death of her. Once she succeeded in destroying the Voice, she was going to see what she could do about the Ticker.
Viggo stood, took Zwaantie’s hand in his, and kissed the back of it. “Thank you for saving our kingdom. I’m not sure I fully understand the depth of your sacrifice, but I do know you have had loss. I will be honored to call you my queen.”
Zwaantie was lost for words. His declaration meant more than he realized. She was queen of Stella and already her freedom was taken from her. It was nice to be recognized even if Viggo didn’t fully understand. She wondered if things would change after the coronation. Would people treat her differently? In Sol they certainly would.
“Thank you,” she finally said after blinking back tears.
“You do a good job taking care of Sage. If possible, try to get her to smile today.” Viggo gave her a forced smile, and she attempted to return it.
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