Seth laughed even harder. “Good. I hope it’s broken!”
Keri sat on a step. She tucked her hurt hand under her armpit. “How can you be so cold and callous, Seth?”
“Karma is the ultimate bitch here. Your hand will heal without any visible trace, whereas the scars of this break-up will be carried with me until the day I die!”
Keri took in long gulps of air. “I think I’m going to faint, Seth. I’m in so much pain!”
Seth chuckled. “You made me this way. Now you have to deal with it!”
Keri absolutely hated this side of Seth. His soft brown eyes had the fires of hell burning red-hot, and his easy and gentle voice was now like listening to a violent thunderstorm. Keri began to cry.
Seth turned to walk away but turned back to face Keri. “And another thing: you and your asinine family are like a mental institution experiment gone horribly wrong! You’re all sick in the goddamn head!”
Keri began to hyperventilate, and after a moment she attempted to speak, but Seth wouldn’t let her.
“Shut up! I’m not finished!” His loud voice echoed throughout the empty house. “You disgust me, you female chauvinist pig!”
Keri was hysterical at this point, in shock over the way Seth was treating her.
He took a few steps forward and pointed a finger at Keri. “See what happens? Do you see what happens when you play Dr. Frankenstein? Once you create that monster, and give it life, you no longer have control over its actions!”
Keri looked up at Seth and quivered.
“You created this monster! You had the power to avoid this situation, but you thought it would be more fun to shock this monster to life!”
Seth lowered his arm and slowly backed away from Keri. He looked at the messy floor and picked up the items, placing them in a bag he got from the kitchen. Once the bag was full, Seth made his way to the front door. He opened the door and slowly turned to look at Keri for the last time.
“I wish I never had met you. If I had known then what I know now, I never would’ve wasted four years of my life with a pathetic, hurtful bitch like you.” He exited the house and slammed the door so hard the front windows shook.
Seth opened the car door and threw the bag of mementos on the floor. He then got in the front seat. Seth’s mother didn’t have to ask, she already knew.
That’s the last time I’m ever going to see her again, Seth thought as he watched Keri’s house fade out of sight as the car drove away. Suddenly Seth became overpowered with deep emotions, and the only thing he wanted to do was cry.
But he didn’t want to cry in front of his mother. He tried his best to suck back his emotions, but it was just too much. Tears ran down his cheeks. It seemed the harder Seth tried to hold back the hurt, the more emotional he became.
Mrs. Zimmer looked at her son and felt sorry for him.
Seth looked over at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
Seth took a moment. “I’m just a big baby.”
“Why? Because you’re experiencing the unfortunate facts of life?”
Seth tried to compose himself. “I can take life and the unfortunate facts about it. But what I don’t like is blubbering like a helpless baby.”
“Just because you cry doesn’t make you a baby. It makes you human.”
Seth stared out the window in silence for a moment.
“What does that mean, Mom?”
“Well, you’ve been dating for four years. And then all of a sudden to have that vanish, it’s only natural that you have these feelings.”
Seth knew his mother was only trying to help, but unfortunately, it had no profound effect on him. But somewhere buried deep down in his stew pot of bubbling emotions, he knew she was right.
CHAPTER 11
When Seth got home, he went up to his bedroom and plopped facedown on his bed. After a moment, he turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. A million things sped through his mind. All of a sudden, like an explosion, Seth burst into tears.
He quickly reached for a pillow and buried his head deep into it. Only after an hour did Seth begin to calm down. Suddenly he began experiencing heart palpitations and excruciating stomach pain. He twisted himself to the edge of his bed and reached down for his garbage can, planted his head deep into the can and began violently vomiting.
After the vomiting settled down, Seth reached over to his Genesis collection and removed the CD Invisible Touch. He pressed play and lay back down again.
For the first time since owning the album, Seth really started to analyze the lyrics of the song “Invisible Touch,” about a woman who enjoys being in control of the men in her life, a woman who always gets what she wants no matter the cost and will stop at nothing to get it. The woman continued until she grew tired of and bored with the man. Then when the time comes, she’ll rip your beating heart from your chest. When Seth finally understood this, it was like a big punch to his stomach.
He turned onto his side, reached down for his garbage pail and violently vomited again. This time it was worse, to the point where he could hardly breathe. After what seemed like an eternity, the sick feeling dissipated. He felt icy cold and began to shake. Seth became anxious; intimate personal moments flashed through his mind, and he started crying again. After a while, Seth was finally ready to leave his bedroom.
He slowly made his way down to the living room. The sunlight beaming through the windows was too bright and harsh, so he covered his eyes.
He startled his mother. “That’s what happens when you lock yourself in your room for an entire day.”
Seth slowly lowered his hand and stared at his mother with confusion. He took a moment. “A day? 24 hours?”
“Why are you so surprised?” his father asked. “How long did you think you were up there?”
“I don’t know. A few hours maybe.”
His parents exchanged a look of concern.
Seth could’ve sworn it had only been a couple of hours. How the hell could’ve a whole week have passed?
Seth entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table. He suddenly became uneasy. The harder he tried to take his mind off his anxiety, the more anxious he became. Seth desperately looked around for something, anything to take his mind off his worries, and his eyes finally stopped at the cabinet by the sink. His worry slowly dissipated, and he felt at peace. His body now went on autopilot.
He could see, hear and feel everything, but he had no control over his body. Seth slowly rose and walked toward the cabinet.
What’s happening? Is this real or a dream? He really didn’t know, and having no control over his body terrified him.
When he reached the cabinet, he stared at the doors for a moment and then opened them. He saw a few bottles of Tylenol, aspirin and prescription painkillers.
When he tried to think, some kind of dark entity told him everything was going to be just fine. A strange comfort fell over him. He grabbed a Ziploc bag, opened it and mixed a pill cocktail. He zipped the top and shook it up. He placed the baggie in his pocket, turned and made his way back upstairs. When Seth reached his bedroom, he began to cry again.
He shut the door and plopped down hard on his bed, crying into his pillow. After a moment he turned onto his back. His eyes burned angrily with salty tears, and his throat felt as dry as the Sahara. An image of Keri flashed in his mind, and poor Seth cried even harder. Suddenly he began to choke because of his extreme dry throat.
Seth figured if he just lay there he’d be able to breathe again, but after several moments his condition wasn’t getting any better; he was still choking. He couldn’t breathe at all, and he began to panic.
He rushed to his feet and quickly slammed into the wall. Finally, in his disorientation, he opened the door and fell hard to the floor.
He desperately crawled to the bathroom, quickly losing strength, beco
ming increasingly light-headed. Visions of a funeral parlour and crying family members flashed before his eyes. Through the midst of his panic he finally reached the bathroom. Extremely weak and exhausted, he barely had enough strength to look at the sink. He thought, This is it. He was ready to surrender to death right there.
A burst of adrenaline rushed through his body. He got to his feet, threw the tap on and drank like he never had before.
He started feeling better. He shut the tap off and made his way back to his bedroom. He sat at the edge of his bed and stared at the phone. Before he knew it, 10 minutes had passed, and he reluctantly reached over, yanked the phone off the charger and punched numbers. It rang once, then twice. Seth shook his head and was ready to hang up, but Carol had already answered.
“Oh, it’s you. What the hell do you want, Zimmer?”
Still quite weak, Seth tried his best to speak. “Is Keri there?”
Carol sighed deeply. “One moment.”
Seth heard movement and shuffling around and then heard knocking. Then came the all-too-familiar sound of Keri’s bedroom door opening.
“Keri, it’s him, it’s asshole Zimmer. Do you want me to tell him you’re not home?”
Seth quickly snapped into a rage. “I can hear you, you stupid bitch!”
Carol gasped. “Listen you!” Carol yelled back. “Just because my daught—”
“Would you shut the hell up? I know Keri’s there, so you’d better put her on before you go deaf in one ear!”
Carol handed the phone to Keri.
“What the hell do you want, Seth?”
Seth’s rage suddenly died down and transformed into grief. He began to cry. “I can’t do this!”
“Can’t do what?”
Seth tried holding back from blubbering but couldn’t. The harder he tried, the more emotional he became. “This—the distance. You not being apart of my life anymore. I just can’t do it!” Seth became too choked up and began coughing.
“I really don’t know what to tell you. My decision is final, and that’s just the way it is!”
Seth cried for another few moments, and a sharp shooting pain filled his chest. “Yeah, your decision is final? Well so is mine!”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Seth reached into his pocket and removed the bag of pills. He stared at them, and that odd peaceful calmness fell over him again.
“Uh, hello? Seth? What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about swallowing every last pill in this large bag.”
Keri was silent for a moment. “Are you serious?”
Seth didn’t say a word. He shook the pill bag into the phone to let Keri hear the sound.
“Don’t be stupid. You’re not really going to kill yourself. You’re just trying to make me feel guilty so I’ll get back with you. Well, let me tell you something, that’s pretty pathetic.”
Seth exhaled deeply.
“Okay, Seth, okay. You’re going to kill yourself? What about your little niece, Sammy?”
Seth thought for a moment. “What about her?”
“She’s only 4 years old. Do you really want her to grow up not even remembering who you are?”
A creepy moment of silence passed. Seth took a deep breath and hung up.
He threw the phone across the room, and it hit the wall, shattering into pieces. He clutched his chest. It felt as though his heart was ready to burst. He broke out into a cold sweat and became light-headed and as white as a ghost. He desperately gasped for air like a fish out of water. Panicked, he leaped to his feet and dashed to his door and made his way to the hall. He got to the top of the stairs and collapsed, taking a nasty tumble down the steps.
Some time later, Seth woke to the sound of a series of different yet familiar beeping. His eyes slowly fluttered, and after a moment the blurriness subsided.
Seth realized he was in the hospital again. He reached over to the nightstand and felt around for his glasses. After a moment, an arm reached out in front of him and handed him his glasses.
“You know, nobody in the family liked her anyway. Everyone hated that little wench with a passion.”
Seth put his glasses on. “Hi, Aunt Betty.”
“How do you feel?”
Seth thought for a moment. “Damn sore. What happened?”
The nurse entered the room. “Mr. Zimmer, glad to see you’re up. To keep it really simple, you have high blood pressure.”
“High blood pressure? I knew that.”
“I see you’ve been going through quite a bit of emotional trauma lately. High blood pressure is the number one risk factor of stroke and a major risk factor for heart disease.”
Seth nodded. “How long have I been out?”
The nurse looked at his chart. “Three days.” She checked the monitors.
“When am I being discharged?”
“Hopefully soon, Mr. Zimmer.” She exited the room.
Aunt Betty and Seth shared a look.
“Has Mom and Dad been up to see me?”
“They left a little while ago.” It gets silent for a moment, Betty clears her throat before speaking again.
“Do you know what you need to do?”
“What?”
“You need to get back out on the lawn bowling greens. That’ll make you feel better. The fresh air, cool breeze and exercise from walking from one end of the green to the other will do you a world of good.”
Seth smiled. “You’re right, you know. It is a relaxing game.”
Aunt Betty introduced Seth to lawn bowls back in 2002, after the unfortunate death of her husband.
*
When Seth was discharged from the hospital, he took the advice of his aunt and found himself on the bowling greens. Everyone at the club was happy to see him again. His friends and fellow bowlers greeted Seth with open arms—boy, what a great feeling.
Shortly after beginning a solo game, Aunt Betty called Seth over to meet a new bowler: 18-year-old Brianna Fine, a 257 pound, short-haired and very unattractive girl.
“Seth, this is Brianna Fine.”
Being kind and polite, Seth reached out his hand and introduced himself.
Brianna smiled. “Good to meet you!”
“Follow me—I just started a game. Would you like to join me?”
“I’ve never done this before. I’m as amateur as they come.”
Seth chuckled. “No problem. Nobody’s expecting you to be a gold medalist your first time out. I’ve been bowling for seven years now, and I’ll steer you in the right direction.”
The whole time Seth was explaining how the game worked, Brianna stared at him, like a scientist studying a caveman.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Please stop me if I’m getting too personal, but to me, you seem so sad.”
A powerful feeling suddenly fell over him. He became weak. He had to sit down. Strong emotions stirred deep within him, and he wanted to cry.
He took a seat on the bench at the end of the green.
Brianna sighed, embarrassed. She sat beside him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start anything.”
Seth sucked back any emotions that might’ve tried to escape otherwise. “No, no, it’s not your fault.”
For the remainder of the evening, Seth and Brianna talked inside the clubhouse. At the end of the night, Brianna gave Seth her phone numbers.
“I can’t believe I told you all of that. I mean, I hardly know you.”
“Sometimes talking to a stranger helps.” Brianna looked at her cell phone. “Wow, it’s late. I should be going.”
She walked to the door but suddenly turned back to Seth. “Call me, please. Day or night, if you need something, anything at all.”
&n
bsp; “Will do, Brianna, thanks.”
As days turned into nights and nights into weeks, not only did Seth and Brianna become friends, Seth was preparing to start his home-based business.
He no longer had a woman in his life, and because of this he felt empty, useless and worthless. But at least his business gave him a reason for living, a shred of hope and dignity.
Over a cup of coffee at Will’s Fresh Café, Seth told his long-time friend Randi about his new venture.
“So I’ve finally decided to go into business for myself.”
Randi’s eyebrows rose and her eyes widened. She put down her cup. “Wow, that’s amazing! What will you be doing?”
“There are people still out there, even in this dominant digital age, who still have hundreds upon thousands of physical photographs. So, one thing I will offer is digital scrapbooking.”
Randi took a sip of coffee. “So to sum it all up, knowing you the way I do, digital media?”
“Correct. Scrapbooking, physically and digitally, photo restoration and colourization and, more importantly, filmmaking. If people have an idea and don’t have the means—for example, a camcorder or editing software——I provide them with my knowledge and experience.”
Randi smiled and nodded. “Sounds pretty sweet. I just have one question. How much is all this going to cost? To start this business, I mean.”
“Not that much, actually. Less than one would’ve thought, but still pretty pricy. Especially for someone without any cash.”
“How much?”
“Three hundred and one dollars.”
“Is that an initial fee or license fee? Or is that the cost each month?”
“That’s the best part. It’s a one-time fee, and I’ll never have to renew my business license.”
“That’s sweet, but where are you going to get the money? You don’t have a job, and I seriously doubt your family is going to willingly give it to you.”
“I don’t know.” Seth took another sip of coffee as he thought about it. “That’s the only flaw in my plan. I can’t get a bank loan because they’ll see I have no way of paying the money back. And nobody I know would even consider co-signing.”
Growing Pains Page 10
