“What are you saying?”
She reached into her purse and grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. “I honestly don’t know. I’m just so damned confused right now, and that’s why I went to seek my father’s advice. And when he yelled at me the way he did, and showed his disappointment and anger, I got upset and, well, texted and called you. Then when I found out about your hospitalization, I was so concerned. That’s when I realized I feel about you the same way I felt about Andrew. But I feel awful, because if you had died that would’ve been our last conversation.
“I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself knowing I could’ve been the one to kill you.”
Seth became teary-eyed and felt absolutely horrible.
Molly just willingly opened up and told him a deep dark secret not even her closest friend knew, and here he was, lying and trying to break Molly up with her boyfriend for his own benefit.
“Are you okay?”
Seth exhaled. “Yes, I’m fine. Your story is touching and emotional, that’s all.”
Molly scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms lovingly around him. “What did the doctor say about, you know … certain physical activities?”
Seth unravelled his arms from around Molly and smiled. “Oh yes, that’s absolutely allowed. Actually, that’s the best kind of physical activity for my heart.”
“Really? You don’t say.” Molly removed her top and quickly went down on Seth.
After their “exercise,” they just lay there wrapped in each other’s arms, taking deep breaths.
Molly moved down and placed her ear to Seth’s chest and listened—she began to smile.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m just listening to the sound of your heartbeat.”
“Oh, and?”
She moved back up. “Sounds good, darling.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Good, not great. But a couple more sessions of physical activity like this, your heart will be very strong.”
They lay in each other’s arms, silent for a moment.
“Molly, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I really don’t know how to say it.” Seth thought for a couple of moments, taking deep breaths. “I love you.”
Molly’s eyes got wide. She gasped and sat up.
“Oh God. I ruined it, didn’t I?”
Molly looked over at Seth and shook her head. “No, you didn’t ruin anything. I’ve been falling for you for some time, and whenever I would think of you, or see you, I would try to sum up my feelings for you with one word. And the only word that suits my feelings is love.”
“I can’t believe I just said that. I haven’t told a woman I loved her in—”
Molly quickly leaned forward and gave Seth a big, passionate kiss. “I love you, Seth Zimmer. I love you!”
“I absolutely love you too, Molly.”
Molly glanced at the alarm clock. “Oh shit!”
“What is it?”
“I didn’t think it was that late. I have to get ready for work.” While Molly dressed, she glanced through Seth’s Blu-ray and DVD collection. “I haven’t seen this movie in years.” She removed the Blu-ray of Hook off the shelf and showed it to Seth.
“Oh yeah, Hook. Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman, directed by none other than Mr. Steven Spielberg. That’s my favourite film adaptation of the famous Sir J. M. Barrie character, Peter Pan.”
Molly stared at Seth for a moment. “That’s another thing that really turns me on about you.”
“What’s that?”
“Your vast knowledge of film.”
Seth chuckled. “Thank you. Here’s a fun fact. Did you know Phil Collins appears in the film?”
“Really?”
“Yes, along with his good friend David Crosby.”
Molly sighed with amazement. “You know, if I didn’t have to go to work I would be all over you.”
“Why’s that, darling?”
“You’re different, unique—one of a kind. Needless to say, you turn me on.” Molly grabbed the Blu-ray and placed it back on the shelf.
Seth got up and dressed and walked Molly out to her red Kia Sportage. Seth opened her door. Molly got in and rolled her window down.
“We’re going to have to have a serious talk sometime, Molly.”
“I know it. We really do.”
They stared lovingly at each other for a moment. Molly started her vehicle.
“Okay, my love. Remember—after work I’m driving up to my parents’ farm for Christmas. I’ll be back before New Year’s Eve. We can text and call each other, but I’m really looking forward to seeing you when I get back.”
Seth smiled. “As am I.” He leaned in and gave Molly a passionate kiss. “Drive safe.”
Molly backed out of the driveway. “I will—love you!”
“Love you too!”
CHAPTER 18
Over the next six days, Molly tried thinking of ways she could break up with Thomas. Should she do it face to face, by text message, perhaps by e-mail? Any of these ways would work. But what frightened her was what she was going to say when Thomas asked why. She was breaking up with him. If she used the, “It’s not you, it’s me” bit, Thomas would know she’s lying, and if she told him the truth, he would pulverize her as she argued that nothing was going on between her and Seth.
Thomas scared her to the point of fearing for her life, so how do you end a relationship like that?
When Molly got back into town she went over to Seth’s house, figuring maybe Seth could help her end it with Thomas.
“When you think of ending it, what’s the first thing you feel?”
“I feel fear.”
“What kind of fear?”
“I fear for my life. Not only my life, but yours.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because if Thomas ever discovered that I did indeed leave him for you, he would beat you senseless.” Seth chuckled. “You think that’s funny?”
“He’s just looking for a fight, a reason to throw a punch. He figures if he shows you how tough he is, you’d come running back to him. I say bring it on, let him throw a punch, because I’m not fighting back.”
“You see? You know exactly what qualities a woman looks for in a man. I told you, you’re unique.” Molly started to undress. “Would your parents mind if I spent the night?”
“Not at all.”
“Good, shut the light off and get into bed. I have a feeling we’ll be up all night.”
“Oh baby!”
After a couple of hours, Seth and Molly lay in bed holding each other.
“I can’t have two relationships, Seth. It’s not fair to you or me. Especially me.”
“Are you and Thomas still having sex?”
“No, I’ve cut him off completely for the past month.”
“It sounds to me you know what you want.”
Molly looked at Seth and smiled. “I certainly do.” She kissed him.
“Molly, sweetheart. Listen. You could end this thing right now with one Facebook message, text or e-mail.”
“I really wouldn’t know what to say or how to say it.”
“Give me your phone and I’ll write it for you!”
“I couldn’t do that. Then Thomas would know it wasn’t me.”
“How?”
“Because you’re a damn fine writer. You have a way with words and terms that no one else has. Thomas knows my way of composing messages. He may have Asperger’s, but he’s not stupid.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you very much. It hurts me to know that because of the way Thomas is, and my fear of him, we may never be together.”
Seth was upset by this. But then his sadness transformed into a kind of light anger. He felt all this time and energy put into trying t
o win Molly over had been nothing but a waste of time. With all this effort, he was determined not to finish his film empty-handed. Molly would be his, even if it killed him.
“Okay, Molly. I want you to close your eyes and imagine this.”
Molly got over to her side of the bed, placed her arms at her side and closed her eyes.
“I’m ready.”
“Imagine we finish the film, and because of your fear, you decide it would be best if we didn’t see each other for a while. One week turned into two, and two turned into a month—meanwhile, you’re still dating Thomas.
“About the two-month mark, out of the blue he ends the relationship, and you part on decent terms. Then you realize you’re free of Thomas and decide to rekindle things with me.
“So you shoot me a text, and after 24 hours you text me again because I never answered your first text. So periodically throughout the rest of the week you keep texting me, but I don’t respond.
“Finally, you decide to take your chances and drop by the house. You knock on the door and wait. You were just about to leave when my mom finally answers the door. You ask if I’m home, and she looks at you strangely and invites you in. She tells you to have a seat.
“She tells you I’ve passed away, I’ve been dead for a month. You begin crying and telling her, ‘It’s not true.’ So she tells you what cemetery I’m in and where my plot is. You drive to the cemetery and walk up to the headstone, and sure enough, there’s my name carved into a slab of granite.
“You drop to your knees and begin crying like you’ve never cried before.”
Molly sat up and placed her back against the wall. She began crying.
Seth reached over and turned his nightstand light on and looked at her.
Seeing her in tears made him feel like a lousy, miserable piece of shit. He gently sighed, sat up and rubbed her shoulders.
“Hey, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to make you cry. I feel horrible.”
Molly slowly raised her head and looked at Seth. “I know you didn’t mean to make me cry, you were just trying to make a point. That’s not why I’m crying, though.”
“Oh?”
“Call me weird or strange, but something tells me that that’s exactly what would happen. I didn’t have to imagine it, I could feel it.”
He reached over and caressed her cheek. Using his thumb, he carefully removed the tears from her eyes.
“Let’s do everything in our power not to let that happen.”
Molly nodded and threw her arms around him.
*
After the new year began, Molly and Thomas drifted further apart, and Seth and Molly got noticeably closer. They held hands in public and would hug, just being open. They would just do things a typical, loving couple would do.
The only trouble was, everybody knew Molly was still dating Thomas. For the circle of friends in Seth’s film, this was confusing. As time progressed Seth started seeing a change in Molly; the loving, intelligent woman he loved seemed to be deteriorating, and this concerned Seth very much.
One evening after filming, he decided to take his concern to Molly.
They made their way up to Seth’s room and sat on his bed. The air felt thicker, and a dark cloud hovered over their heads. Seth got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was so bad he started taking deep breaths.
“Do you mind if I turn on some music?” She nodded. Seth turned on his CD player. The CD already in the player started to spin, and after a couple of seconds the music began to play. The song playing was “Groovy Kind of Love” by Phil Collins. Molly smiled. The song seemed to lift her spirits a bit.
“Are you okay? I mean, is everything all right?”
Molly lowered her head for a moment. She slowly lifted it and looked at Seth. “I’m really not sure anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“God, I’ve been dreading this day.” Molly sighed again. “Over Christmas, Thomas … he …”
“Yes? He?”
A big tear ran down Molly’s cheek. “He gave me a ring.”
Seth’s eyes got wide, his mouth dropped open and his heart sank. His face got red, his eyes teary.
“An engagement ring?”
“No.”
Seth sighed with great relief. “Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s expensive. With taxes it was $202.27.”
“Firstly that isn’t expensive, secondly, he actually told you the price?”
“Firstly that’s the most he’s ever spent on me, secondly he didn’t tell me the price because it’s a ring I’ve had my eye on for awhile.”
Seth laughed. “Molly, Molly, Molly—honey, don’t you see what Thomas is doing here?”
Molly thought for a moment. “No, what?”
“He’s trying to buy your love.”
“What?”
“See, he knows something is going on with you. And he figures he’s going to lose you. So he figures in order to keep you at his side, he’ll buy you off with something you really want. Something that costs money, this way by giving you an expensive gift, he feels, you feel an obligation to stay with him.”
Molly thought for a moment. “Oh my God, that makes so much sense. My sister, Maude, said almost the same thing. I’m just so damned conflicted.”
“How do you feel around him? What are your true feelings?”
Molly took a moment to think. “When I’m around Thomas, I’m never happy, I feel like I’m heading for the abyss. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. I feel like a slave!”
“And how do you feel when you’re with me?”
Molly smiled. “When I’m with you, I feel like myself. I’m happy, more energetic and so full of love.”
“So, to me, anyway, the choice is obvious. You know what you want, but you’re procrastinating.”
“Seth, please. Try to look at it from my perspective. For the past eight years I’ve been avoiding love. I would choose men who I knew didn’t have the capability to love, men I knew I didn’t want anything serious with. But then I met you, and you shook my world at its core. You make me want to love. I love you so much. It’s just the transition isn’t that easy.”
Molly and Seth shared a smile. Seth grabbed Molly’s hand and kissed it.
“Okay, I understand completely.”
“I will get with you, Seth. It’s just going to take a little time.”
“I’ll be here.”
A week passed, the film proceeded and things were going great. On January 13, 2014, Seth decided to go to Will’s Fresh Café to do some writing. It had long been Seth’s dream to have a book published, so he decided, since things had been going very well in his life, now would be the perfect opportunity to get started. He didn’t have a laptop, so all of his writing was done by hand. And since he had nothing going on that day, he could afford to dedicate the whole day to his writing, at least until Will’s closed at ten.
Before Seth knew it, it was seven in the evening. He’d spent seven hours writing, yet it only felt like two. He received a text message from Molly.
Seth, are you busy? I sure could use a shoulder to lean on.
Uh oh, he thought. He texted, No, I’m not busy at all. I’m just at Will’s doing some writing.
Writing? Oh, I’m sorry to have disturbed you. I know how important writing is to you.
Seth knew something was seriously up, and the feeling deep in the pit of his stomach returned tenfold. Worry and concern washed over him like a tidal wave.
Don’t be silly Molly, you didn’t disturb me. Are you okay? Please, by all means come by and see me.
I might do that. I don’t know. I’m depressed at the moment, so I think I might just take a nap.
Okay, you do that. But if you want to see me, I’ll be here until they close at ten. Or you c
an stop by the house after that.
Thanks. I’ll take that into consideration.
The rest of the evening Seth spent wondering about Molly. His writing dwindled. He was lucky if he wrote five words a minute.
Around nine fifteen, Molly texted him again. Are you still at Will’s?
Yes I am. Are you stopping by?
I think I might—I just really feel like shit.
Seth didn’t understand why Molly was acting like this. Was she on her period? Was she pregnant with his love child? After all, they didn’t use condoms. Perhaps it was Thomas? Maybe he found out what was going on and actually beat Molly senseless. Who knew? It could be a hundred things.
You know what? I might just stay at home. The way I feel now, I’m not in the mood to do anything.
Oh God, Seth thought. This must be more serious than he originally thought. Seth tried to think of a way of getting Molly out of the house without forcing her or nagging.
I don’t think being alone right now is the best idea if you’re feeling as bad as you say. The best thing is to be around other people, a friend, someone who makes you feel good.
Seth waited, but no reply came. He thought of texting her again, but if she didn’t respond to the last text, there was a good chance she might not respond to the next one either. He was about to call her when he received her text message.
You’re absolutely right Seth. I’ll be right over.
Great, see you soon.
After a couple of minutes Seth looked up from the table and saw Molly walking over to him. She sat down.
She looked rough. Puffy eyes from crying, makeup running down her face, her hair a mess. Whatever Molly was going through must’ve been tragic.
“Are you okay? What the hell happened?”
Molly sniffed. “I just feel as though I walked away from a horrific traffic accident.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She took a few seconds to blow her nose. “I received a text message from Thomas earlier, and he …”
“Asked you to marry him?”
“Christ, no.”
“Threatened you?”
“No, Seth.”
“Please, Molly, jump in; I’m drowning.”
Growing Pains Page 18
