by RJ Scott
That statement there was one of the reasons why Luke loved Cam so damn much. "Ass," he said. Punching Cam on the arm and watching as his boyfriend feigned hurt he was already thinking about Cam's words.
"I'm sorry I've been quiet the last few days," he apologized.
Cam smiled then leaned in to kiss Luke. "I understood. That letter couldn’t have been easy to receive."
"It wasn’t. I don’t know how to deal with all of this. The letter, Eddie, college."
"Eddie we can do nothing about until we get into school tomorrow, college is still three months away, and the letter? The letter we can answer. You can answer."
"I'm not starting up a pen-pal relationship with the guy who nearly killed me."
"Not asking you to. But maybe if you write it down, how you feel and all that, it might make it better."
"Where did you come up with that idea?"
"I dunno. Oprah re-runs?"
Luke lay back on his bed and stared up at the same ceiling he had been staring at since he could remember. The only difference was when Cam climbed on and straddled him. They didn’t do anything in his mom's house, it wasn’t right, but in September they would have all the time in the world.
"One thing," Cam said softly. He bracketed Luke's head with his hands flat on the quilt and looked down at him. "What you did in school today was one of the bravest things I have ever seen. I don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of our freshman year, you could have met someone else—"
"I won't—"
"But now, at this very moment in time I love you so bad it hurts."
They exchange lazy kisses and Luke could do this all night. Cam tasted so fine. They pulled back for air and Luke couldn’t resist teasing his boyfriend.
Luke grinned up at Cam. "Where does it hurt?"
Cam took one of his hands and gripping one of Luke's he placed it flat against his dick. Cam was hard in his jeans.
"Here," Cam smirked. "It hurts here."
* * * * *
The letter wasn’t easy to write. Cam reasoned that Luke needed space to decide what he wanted to write and he left. The principal called just as Luke was writing page two and his mom relayed the information to him with a careful smile. There would be no charges for Luke. The matter was in police hands and the threats and intimidation from Eddie would be a matter for official investigation. In fact, evidently Luke had grounds for suing the school and Eddie himself.
"No, Mom, I don’t want that," he said gently. Searching his mom's expression for disappointment he found nothing but love.
"You should maybe take some time to think about this." She wasn’t telling him what to do but she was advising. "You know that I will support anything you decide."
Luke considered for a second or two longer. Very often victims were reluctant to stir the waters and simply craved peace. That wasn’t why he wanted to move on. He had purpose in his life and he wasn’t going to be dragged down. He wanted that bright shiny tomorrow so badly.
"I want to finish school and start fresh."
She nodded then kissed him on the top of his head. "I love you Luke, my brave little man."
Luke squirmed a little at the term of endearment his mom had used after his dad had left and Luke was insistent he was the man of the house. She chuckled and squeezed him with a brief hug.
"So you'll tell Mr. Grayson?" he asked.
"I already told him what you'd say." She left and closed the door behind her.
Luke stared down at the words of despair and disgust that he had scrawled across the pages. Words that described how the knife hurt physically and how the intention behind the knife had destroyed him. How the sessions at the therapist cost so much, and telling Ryan his mom worked extra shifts just so he could attend. Sentence after sentence of soul destroying hate and blame.
Sighing he tore the paper into pieces and then took up his pen and started again.
Ryan,
Thank you for your letter and for the words you used. I hope your brother is well and that you are working on being close to him. I have met someone. His name is Cam and he makes me very happy. I'm attending college in the fall with him. I hope your studies go well.
What happened is in the past now. I forgive you for what happened and I hope that you can go on and be the best brother and the best man you can be.
Thank you
Luke Holston
It had taken hours just to get this simple note written. Was it too condescending? Was it too weak? Did it sound like something an eighteen-year-old boy would write, or the kind of thing his mom might say? Hell, he couldn’t worry about that now. Luke sighed and placed it in an envelope before he could change his mind. One thing the letter was—honest. What point was there in holding on to hate and despair when it all bottled inside you and destroyed you from inside?
He wasn’t ready to heap hate on Ryan, and Luke could be the bigger man. The message that he sent back would be just what Ryan needed. A line drawn under what happened and that despite everything, Luke had found love.
It should be enough for Ryan to start forgiving himself.
Pushing the envelope to one side he picked up his cell phone. It was past midnight and a message from Cam showed as having been sent at 11:50. Luke had clearly been so deep in writing that he hadn’t heard the notification. The message was simple. 'Love you xxx'
Quickly Luke typed and sent a message of his own: 'Love you 2 XXX'
Feeling lighter than he had in days he climbed into bed and pulled the quilt up around his ears. The material smelt of Cam's citrusy aftershave. His boyfriend's scent was all around him.
With the love that had been in the message filling his thoughts and his heart, Luke slept.
THE END
You can contact RJ Scott via email - [email protected] or visit her website - www.rjscott.co.uk
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