by Marian Wells
Crystal smiled. “I will, but for now, I intend to enjoy every day as much as possible.” She glanced at Tammera. “Uncle has promised to show me all of the city. I don’t know what he has in mind, but I believe I will see that place called Natchez-under-the-Hill.
“You needn’t go see the uglies,” Tammera said darkly. “We been discussing it down in the kitchen. Down the riverbank there’s nothing good. Bad ladies, gamblers, and thieves. I hear said you don’t let a good black man go down along the banks. There’s a gang o’ men hanging around, ready to grab and sell him down the river, even if he’s free.” Her dark look was meant to inform Crystal.
And she caught the message. “I understand, Auntie T.”
There was a tap on the hall door and Joseph entered the adjoining sitting room. “Missy.” He came to the doorway. Crystal turned. The expression in his shining eyes was nearly like an affectionate hug. With a sigh she dropped her head to hide the tears in her own eyes as he said, “Good morning. They say you feeling poorly; so I brought some special muffins in addition to the rest of the food you wanted.”
As he spread the table and placed the dishes, Auntie T said, “She had too much party last night.”
“Lovely, lovely party,” he said, and Crystal found herself admiring the timbre of his deep voice. He chuckled. “We stood in the shadows watching our people dancing in the garden and having a good time. Missy, I saw you with that gentleman, Mr. Boyd Darkinson. My, he’s a proud young man! They say he’s the only son to inherit his father’s plantation. Will be a rich man.”
Auntie T nodded. “I been inquiring too,” she said. “He already manages the plantation well enough to do any father proud.” She leaned forward and whispered, “I’m talking kitchen talk, but they’re a bettin’ he has his heart set on one pretty little gal from New Orleans, name’s—” She giggled behind her hands.
Crystal gave a wan smile as she walked to the table. “Don’t bet that gal is interested.”
“Oh, Sugarlam! I see you smiling up at him. So do all the others. Your cousin Libby hung around all last night, waiting to snap up the man if you’d a let loose of him once. Personally, I don’t think he knows another lady is in the place.”
“I don’t believe that!” Crystal protested, accepting the glass of juice from Joseph.
Joseph nodded his head emphatically. “There were some pretty fond looks going around.” With a pleased grin he added, “Don’t you be shy. You’re every bit as good as the best of them, and a beautiful mistress you’ll make of his wonderful home.”
Hastily Crystal got to her feet, “Please! I must lie down.” She tried to shield her face as she rushed past Joseph.
Tammera followed Crystal. “Sugarlam, why are you crying?”
“Nothing, nothing, Auntie T. My head aches so. Please let me rest now.”
During the day Crystal was aware of Tammera’s dark face bent over her. Once the warm brown hand rested against her forehead. But Crystal kept her eyes closed tightly as if her eyelids could close out the memories of the previous evening. I would have had a wonderful time if it hadn’t been for the expression in Boyd’s eyes and that whisper as he left. Even behind her tightly closed eyelids she could recall his face again. With a teasing grin, he had informed her the magic charm was working, that he would be back to see her again very soon. It had been the expression in his eyes, coupled with those words that made her think of Joseph. If only I had met Boyd Darkinson a year ago, if only we had married not knowing anything about Joseph.
It was late afternoon when Crystal finally surrendered. She slipped out of bed and went to the door of the sitting room. “Auntie T, I’ve heard you shuffling around here all day. I’ve also heard that door creak a dozen times. Please, go downstairs and visit there.”
Tammera came out of the rocking chair with a snort. “I’m standing guard. You’da had all kinds of pesteration if I didn’t shoo them off.”
“Libby and Ann?”
“No, your aunt and uncle. It’s Joseph; he’s been causing problems. Missy, before I say anything more, I want you to sit right down here and tell me something.”
Crystal frowned, “Auntie T, why are you acting this way?”
“It’s important.” Tammera waved to the chair beside hers. When Crystal was seated, she leaned forward and said, “We got a problem, and you must answer me directly, ’cause your answer will steer the course.”
Crystal rubbed her forehead and nodded.
“You been cryin’ all day. I ’spect it’s because you like that Boyd Darkinson more’n you want to let on. I also ’spect you been crying all day ’cause you know when he finds out Joseph is your father, he’ll run the other direction but fast.”
Crystal bent double and buried her face in her arms. Through sobs she murmured, “I’m sorry. I know it’s terrible of me. Selfish, but I can’t help it.”
“That is why Joseph left.” Crystal continued to sob. Finally she sat up and scrubbed at her eyes. Tammera leaned forward. “Did you hear me?” Crystal blinked and shook her head. “I said, that’s why Joseph left. He guessed. He told me so, when I chew him up one side and down the other for running off again.”
“Oh dear,” Crystal moaned. “I wouldn’t hurt him for anything. How did he know?”
“Your face give you away when he talk about you being as good as anybody.”
“And he’s gone.”
“He’s back. Now you have to go claim him.”
“I wish I never had to face him again.”
“You spoiled baby! Now it is time for you to act like a grown-up person.”
Crystal sighed and nodded.
Tammera said, “Now you come in here, and we’ll get you dressed so you can go fetch him home.”
Obediently Crystal started for the bedroom. Abruptly she stopped. “Auntie T, what you said does not make sense. He’s gone, he’s back?”
“Joseph didn’t get to the outskirts of the city before the authorities pick him up and want to see his papers. Come along, we can’t leave him there all night. Your uncle is waiting to take you. Put some cold water on that face, and I’ll find a frock.”
The dress was suitable—a dignified, polished gray cotton with a tiny white collar. Crystal carried her head high as she marched behind her uncle into the old stone building and out again. Joseph walked between the two of them, his head down, while Crystal kept her eyes directed toward her uncle’s back.
****
The air of dignity was becoming as limp as the heat-rumpled cotton. During dinner, Crystal just barely managed to keep her fork from trembling, her conversation from wavering, and her resolve firm.
After a polite interval in the parlor, she excused herself, saying firmly, “Now I have a matter to discuss with Joseph, and then I’ll put my headache to bed. It seems Natchez parties are much more complicated than our quiet New Orleans parties. Hopefully I will recover by morning.” With that, she walked off to her room. Tammera was already inside, sitting in the rocking chair.
When Joseph walked into the room, with his head still bowed, she didn’t call him by name. Watching him with pity, she said gently, “Please sit down.”
Before he sat, he murmured, “I must speak. I didn’t do this to hurt you. It seemed the best way. I cannot stand to see you hurt because of me. Also I must say—what has happened in the past to cause all of this problem is not your concern. I want with all of my heart to take myself out of your life. Do you see? When I am gone you lift your head high. You’ve done so before, no reason it can’t be done again.
“Missy, you’re as honorable now as—before. Don’t you forget that.” Crystal had been watching his face as he spoke. Now she saw more than the affection. There was a new dignity on the dark face. She opened her mouth to speak, but he lifted his hand.
“Crystal, you will honor me most by refusing to reveal me as your father.”
She gasped and immediately covered her face. Did he see my relief, my shame?
He sat on the low stool at
her feet. His eyes were imploring. “Now will you just let me slip out of your life? I am willing to risk my life to flee into Canada. Freedom’s been gnawing me as far back as I can remember.”
Crystal watched him, feeling a soreness grow inside as he talked. “I don’t know how much you’ve heard about me. When I was just a lad your grandfather bought me at auction. I was the son of a slave woman and her master. My half-brother was well-fed, schooled, and happy, and he was all white. I tried to learn to read, and got a beating every time I was caught with a book in my hand.”
Crystal continued to listen with half of her mind busy weighing the chances her thoughts were presenting. Finally Joseph’s voice nearly failed as he urgently renewed his plea. “Please, forget about me; let me go.”
With a sigh, Crystal said, “You think, after being caught so very quickly, that there is any possibility you would succeed in escaping again? Even with the paper, you would not be safe.” He hung his head. “In addition, there is your poor leg. How far do you think you can walk in such a condition?” He didn’t raise his head.
Crystal took a deep breath and slowly said, “I have a plan. I’ve been thinking about the problem all evening. As you talked it suddenly became clear to me that my plan is your only hope of succeeding in your endeavor. It will possibly be the only thing I will ever be able to do for you, but I’m not only willing, I insist. Joseph, I’ve taken a steamboat from New Orleans up the Ohio as far as Wheeling. Now I will make the trip again. When we reach the Pennsylvania line, I will sign your paper, and you will be a free man. Within a short time you will be in Canada, forever free from the fear of being apprehended, either as a runaway or as an attractive piece of merchandise to be shipped South for resale. See, I’ve heard the stories, too.”
She got to her feet. “Tomorrow morning, Joseph, I will begin to make plans for our trip.” She turned to Auntie T. “I do believe it will be to your advantage to stay here until I return. It could make your life less complicated in the future, particularly if anyone happens to bring up the subject to Father.”
“Missy,” Auntie T’s voice was heavy. “How do you intend to convince your uncle of this scheme?”
Crystal winced. “That will be the most unpleasant part. I will invent a fictitious friend in Greenville, Mississippi, who is most anxious for my company. It will help if Uncle sees me running away from an ardent suitor, especially if that suitor is Boyd Darkinson, for whom his daughter Libby cares very much.”
****
Crystal’s uncle was able to arrange steamboat passage, and the following week Crystal and Joseph left Natchez. Their steamboat was a small packet, moving only between Natchez and Greenville. Crystal looked at the less-than-luxurious accommodations and assured her uncle that the length of the trip didn’t warrant waiting for the Delta Queen.
When they reached Greenville, Crystal went immediately to purchase tickets on the first steamer bound up the Ohio. As she joined Joseph, standing guard over her luggage, she said, “How fortunate we are! There is a ship leaving tomorrow and we can board immediately.”
On their second day out Crystal met Amelia Randolph. In the salon Amelia’s cascade of blonde ringlets and the tight dress of brilliant blue satin caught Crystal’s attention. When their eyes met, Crystal crossed the room. “We meet again,” she said simply.
“Going to school?” Amelia asked. “I thought you’d be finished.”
Caught unprepared, Crystal stammered, “No, well not exactly. I am going that way.”
And then came the next question. “Who are you traveling with this time?”
“I’m traveling alone. That is, except for my—slave Joseph.”
Crystal left the salon painfully aware of the questions in the woman’s eyes. The encounter sharply underlined the obvious. Crystal’s traveling accommodations were not the usual for a young woman raised as she had been. For the first time in her life, she found herself avoiding the social entanglements that might lead to questions or even a questioning glance from an unattached male.
In the days ahead, during the quiet afternoon time she made it a habit to venture into the reading alcove. There she buried her loneliness in a book. Amelia found her there one afternoon. “Sweetie, you sure look sad. Got a problem?” While Crystal hunted for a reply, Amelia smiled and added, “If I didn’t know better, I’d guess you’re running away from home.”
“Well, I’m not running away from home!” Abruptly, as the woman’s eyes softened, Crystal was filled with an intense desire to confide in her. She pondered the idea and then rejected the temptation.
Amelia lingered on. Her stream of lighthearted chatter had Crystal relaxing and then laughing. When the woman finally left, Crystal looked at the book in her lap and sighed. Slowly she replaced the book and returned to her stateroom.
Reflecting on the encounter, Crystal shuddered at the thought of telling the dancehall girl her story. But again she sighed over her loneliness and confusion as she carefully put the desire behind her.
Two days later, early in the morning after a sleepless night in which Crystal had tossed and worried over the course of action she had chosen, she met Amelia again.
Leaving her stuffy cabin and moving quickly through the shadow-filled salon, Crystal headed for the door and fresh air. As she passed a cabin door, it opened and Amelia stepped out. A man stood behind her. As Amelia hesitated, he reached for her and claimed a kiss. With a chuckle he said, “Until tonight, sugar.” The door closed and Crystal and Amelia were left staring at each other.
Amelia broke the silence. She laughed, “Don’t look so shocked, dearie; it happens in the best of families. A lonely man traveling the boats starts looking for a lady.” She linked her arm through Crystal’s and tugged her toward the door. “I suppose you want a breath of fresh air; come along.”
The woman’s face was relaxed and cheerful as they leaned against the railing. With the wind in their faces they watched the sun come up. Finally Amelia turned. “Couldn’t sleep, huh? Want to talk about it? I have until three o’clock this afternoon.”
Conscious of the warm comfort of the woman’s shoulder close to her own, Crystal nodded. Finally she said, “I’m taking my slave to Ohio where I will give him his freedom and a train ticket toward Canada.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Amelia said dryly, “but I can’t imagine it costing you a good night’s sleep and the dark circles under your eyes I see all the time. I get the feeling you’re lonely. That doesn’t have anything to do with him, does it?”
“Might.” Crystal gulped and said, “Because of him, I just gave up a man who showed every indication of falling in love with me.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
Crystal faced her. “My slave Joseph is really my father. Naturally, a person like me doesn’t marry a white plantation owner from Mississippi.”
After listening to Crystal’s story, Amelia turned to look at her. “You don’t look like a darky to me. Your hair is as soft and fine as mine, just darker. If fear of being found out is the only thing bothering you, go do your good deed and come back and marry the man.”
“You really think I should?”
Amelia hesitated. “No. If you were in love with him, that would be different. But it would take work to get around all the problems you’d face. I think you feel sorry for yourself. Not that I blame you; it’s pretty shocking to wake up one morning and discover you’re not the princess you thought you were. I’d never have guessed your story. Seems to me that you’re a person who could land on her feet. Don’t let this ruin your life.” Amelia leaned away from the rail, and turning her head toward Crystal, she added, “And for God’s sake, don’t mess up your life like I did.”
“God’s sake?” Crystal questioned. “What do you mean?”
Amelia gave a short laugh. “It’s just an expression, meant to convey a strong feeling.” She paused. “Sometimes when life gives us a good hard shake we go storming off and do something rash. You know, like heading into s
omething you can’t back out of.” Amelia faced Crystal. “That’s what I did. Action without thought. I can’t go back the way I came. So I’m caught with making a living the only way I know how.”
Amelia backed away. “Go get yourself a good rest now. Think about it. Surely it isn’t the end of the road for you. Bet you have a nice family. Your mother—grandmother, seemed kind. Just don’t let a thing like this get you all down in the dumps.” She paused again, then added, “If you feel too bad about it all, some day I’ll tell you my story and really singe your eardrums.”
The following afternoon, Crystal came out of the salon just as Amelia crossed the deck in front of her. She turned and studied Crystal’s face. “How you doing, dearie?”
Crystal shrugged. “That’s a pretty dress. I like the ruffled lace. I—” she stopped and frowned. “Must be rough water; the boat is vibrating badly.”
Amelia glanced up at the towering twin smokestacks. “There’s an awful lot of smoke; wonder if there’s something wrong?” She moved uneasily and said, “Walk with me to the stairs; it’s about time for me to get things set up for the evening games.” They were nearly to the staircase in the bow of the boat when she said, “You didn’t answer my question.”
Just then they heard a scurry of feet on the stairs. As they turned, Joseph ran up the stairs. Crystal saw the fear on his face and heard him gasp. He took the last stairs in a leap. “Crystal,” he murmured in a hoarse whisper. “I was afraid, you being right over the boilers. Come on!”
“What do you mean?” Amelia caught his arm.
“Don’t know. Haven’t been on a steamboat before this trip, but something’s—”
The vibration became a shudder, and the moment they started to move there was an explosion. Amelia grabbed Crystal, but before she could speak, the second explosion came. This one slammed them into each other and into the railing.
Joseph’s body shielded them as the surge of smoke and brilliant heat surrounded them. As they huddled, still afraid to move, they began to hear low moans. Crystal pushed away from Joseph, looked, and then buried her face against him. Amelia trembled as they heard a scream begin and then stop abruptly.
