by Marian Wells
“Well, I have a few ideas. Want to hear them?”
“No.” The retort was sharper than she intended. Olivia studied his face, wishing she could snatch back the word. Lamely she searched for conversation, wondering why she lingered. Finally she asked, “Did Caleb go to Canada?”
He shook his head, “He never did intend to go. He’ll be traveling with me.” She saw the question in his eyes change to amusement. With a grin he asked, “Why did you ask? Are you reconsidering the offer to learn steamboatin’?”
“Of course not!” She started to rise and he took her hand.
“Please stay. I won’t have much time for talk later; we’ll be going down the Ohio much faster than we came up.” He paused, frowning. “I still feel as if I owe you an apology, and I’ve chosen this way of doing it.”
He hesitated again and finally admitted, “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve been looking for an opportunity to give you this.” He pulled a small book out of his pocket and handed it to her. “It’s a Bible.”
“A Bible!” Astonished, she looked from the dark blue leather to him. “Alex, this is beautiful, but it is a strange gift.”
“Yes I know. Something a mother gives a child or—” he stopped. “It seemed the only way I could find an opportunity to explain—”
“About what you did? Don’t trouble yourself; it isn’t necessary.” She started to rise.
His hand was firm on hers. “It is necessary. Most friendships start out with a clean slate; ours has been cluttered with the past.”
“I don’t really consider it a friendship.”
“At the very least I would like it to be that.” His grin was crooked, and hastily she looked away from him.
“I might never see you after this trip.”
“That’s possible. If I may, I’ll tell you about the Bible.”
She hesitated, looked at the gold earring, and said, “Perhaps later.”
He nodded and stood up. “Tomorrow Caleb and the fellows will be helping me make some modifications. The stove is coming back up to the cabin where it was originally. One of the other cabins will be prepared for you and Crystal. The cabin down on the end will carry cargo.”
She nodded, “Crystal said Mr. Cooper had found merchandise for you to transport.”
He grinned. “Some rope, lots of glassware, even a barrel or so of good Ohio cider. It will be late Wednesday before we get away.” With a jaunty salute, he said, “See you then; good night.”
After he left, she continued to sit in the alcove, staring down at the beautifully bound Bible. Running her finger along the gold-edged pages, she brooded over his easy acceptance of her rebuff. The problem is, Olivia, you’re afraid of exchanging one personal word with him. The teasing is fine, but—what are you afraid of? Surely it isn’t anything to do with that silly earring.
Chapter 30
Early in the morning Caleb came into the cabin. Alex turned from the cookstove. “Slowpoke. We couldn’t wait for you. I had the fellows haul the stove up here first thing. Help me get the stovepipe in place.”
Caleb rubbed the top of his head. “I kept waiting for you to come to breakfast.”
“Got to thinking of all that needed to be done over here.”
“Miss Olivia was down early. Did you give her the Bible?”
“Yes, but your plan didn’t work; she wasn’t much interested in hearing anything I had to say.”
Caleb tugged at his ear. “For being a lawyer, seems to me you get tongue-tied mighty easy. What did you say?”
Alex jerked the stovepipe and soot sifted onto the floor. Caleb went for a broom. Roughly Alex said, “I didn’t ask her to marry me—is that what you’re fishing for?”
“Good thing you didn’t—suh, I think she’d be more likely to pop you over the head with something. I don’t know when I ever seen a fellow with a good mind being so much on the short end when it comes to handling a female.” He shook his head. “Why didn’t you just tell her about the Bible and the earring, about like you did the rest of them?”
“She wouldn’t give me a chance.”
“Did she keep the Bible?”
Alex nodded.
“Well, then that’s a good sign. You have this whole trip to get to talking.”
“If I can get my tongue unstuck,” Alex said gloomily, thumping the stovepipe. “I don’t know why it’s so hard to come up with the right words.”
“You do good on humor,” Caleb observed looking around the cabin. “About as good as you do on putting up stovepipes. Might be there’s some way you can learn to say the serious things in a humorous way.”
****
The next afternoon Matthew carried Crystal’s and Olivia’s new valises into the cabin. Looking around he said, “Alex and Caleb did themselves proud in this cabin. Be glad you don’t have the old one; there’s soot all over the place.”
Backing toward the door he added, “Did you two draw straws for the job?”
“What job?” Olivia asked, straightening the scrap of a rug with her toe.
“Cooking. I’m not a cook and I don’t think Caleb has volunteered.”
Olivia sighed. “I knew this was a fairy-tale trip.” The door closed behind Matthew. “How are you in the kitchen?”
“What?” Crystal looked bewildered.
“Didn’t you hear what Matthew said?” Olivia questioned as she frowned at Crystal. “You seem—don’t you feel well?”
“I’m all right.” Crystal rubbed her brow. “Just tired. Now what is this about cooking?”
“Not only tired,” Olivia said slowly, “but there’s something bothering you. I don’t believe you’ve heard a thing I’ve said for the past two days.” She stopped and cocked her head.
They could feel the throb of the engine, and a moment later they heard the swish of paddles through the water. “I guess we’re leaving,” Crystal commented. “The trip has begun. I suppose we should go talk about that kitchen.”
Caleb was on his hands and knees in front of the stove. He glanced up. “The fire’s doing fine. I’ll get the soot mopped up.”
“We’re to cook?” Olivia questioned, as she entered the kitchen.
Caleb shrugged.
She added, “And that means yes if we want to eat. Do you know how to cook?”
“Of course. Fatback and greens, biscuits and flannel cakes with eggs.”
Olivia stared at him. “And I suppose Alex is going to hide out in the pilothouse and ignore the whole situation.”
“Well, he and the roustabouts have to keep the boat a headin’ downstream. Where’s Matthew?”
“Matthew can’t cook.”
Matthew came into the cabin and dropped his bag. “What can’t Matthew do?” he asked. Olivia watched his eyes seek out Crystal, who carefully sat down at the table and folded her hands.
“Did you know that Tandy and Maggie and some of the other women did all the cooking?” Olivia said slowly. “I stirred the porridge once in a while and I sliced ham.” She straightened. “Do we have ham?”
They heard the whistle. Matthew muttered, “Boat to starboard. Guess I’ll go see what’s going on.”
****
Olivia complained, “Dishes, dishes, and then food to prepare. I didn’t dream vegetables could take so much work.”
“And sister dear,” Matthew said with a smile, “I didn’t dream it was possible to ruin a potato.”
Caleb grinned at them both. “Cincinnati comes up in two days.”
Olivia smiled back. “And then who cooks?”
“Don’t mind flannel cakes myself,” Caleb said with a grin, and then looked out at the evening sky.
****
Crystal placed three lighted candles on the table in her room and waited for Olivia. She looked up as Olivia entered slowly and said, “Two days; we have only two days before we reach Cincinnati. Olivia, I need to talk to you. And I must admit, I lied to you.”
“Crystal, is this why you’ve been a walking ghost all this trip?�
�� Crystal nodded, “We’ve all felt terrible, thinking it was somehow related to us.”
Quickly Crystal said, “It isn’t. But the real reason I need to talk is that I need help. Even just talking. Somehow it will make me strong. I know it will.” She gulped, and Olivia could see the tears running down her face.
She handed Crystal a handkerchief and sat down. “Please—it can’t be that bad. Besides, you are my best friend, regardless of what you have to say.”
Crystal buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Olivia came over and put her arms around Crystal.
Finally Crystal straightened and dabbed at her eyes. Settling back on her heels, Olivia opened her mouth to speak. Abruptly Crystal seized her shoulders. “Olivia, please, please promise me something before I tell you. Promise that you will never tell Matthew. I must have your promise before I can confess, and if I can’t, I think I’ll just die right here.”
Olivia pulled back from Crystal’s frantic grasp. She searched the girl’s face, “Crystal I can’t imagine—” Crystal began shaking her head slowly while the tears flowed afresh. “All right,” Olivia murmured, giving her a hug, “I promise, I truly will keep my silence until you give me permission to speak.”
Olivia went back to her chair and waited. One of the candles gutted and went out before Crystal began to speak. With a sigh of resignation she began. “Remember when I told you about my friend; the one whose father is a slave?” Olivia thought for a moment, then nodded. “Well, it wasn’t a friend; it’s me.” She waited for Olivia’s reaction. Olivia sighed gently.
Crystal said, “I just couldn’t admit it. And Evangeline Cabet, remember? She’s my mother. After I was born she left and hasn’t been back since. The woman we visited in Boston said she lived in France.” Crystal paused, then added, “My parents are actually my grandparents.”
“And your father?” Olivia asked, beginning to guess.
“Joseph is my father.”
“Why are you helping him flee to Canada?”
“Because he is nearly crippled from injuries to one leg. He’s no longer able to work in the fields, and I found out that he was to be sold—sold to someone who would work him to death in the fields.”
“Oh, Crystal! Don’t talk like that. You know we are more careful to our slaves than that. Who would do such a thing?” Crystal slowly shook her head. Olivia stopped to listen.
“It wasn’t my idea to bring Joseph here. Auntie T convinced me that Joseph would be sold and the rest would happen. Of course I had to do something.”
“You ran away. Do your parents—I mean grandparents—know where you are?”
“No. I left Auntie T in Natchez. As far as they know, I’m still there, and will be until later this month.”
Olivia went to the bunk, settled back and pondered the situation. Finally she sat up. “I understand. It is because of this that you’ve broken off with Matthew, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Crystal lifted her head. “Please, say no more about Matthew; just relieve my guilty conscience for lying to you. Olivia, I feel so ugly for sneaking. I wish there were someway I could undo it all.”
Olivia came over and once again wrapped her arms around Crystal. Hugging her close, she chose her words carefully. “I know how I would feel, and it isn’t good. But Crystal, I don’t feel like that toward you. Surely it isn’t the end of the world for you! To be honest, I thought you’d stolen money or you were pregnant or something equally as bad.”
Crystal straightened and shook her head slowly. As she waved her hands helplessly, Olivia continued, “I can guess how you feel right now. Confused. But I think you’ll adjust and everything will fall into place. Now, about Matthew—that’s another problem. I’m certain he’ll never be able to accept that part of your life.”
“Of course this is the end for us,” Crystal said slowly, twisting her handkerchief.
Olivia nodded. “He’s just too Southern, and even more than that, he has pride.” She stopped, seeing that Crystal’s face reflected agony beyond her ability to understand. “Shall I get Alex?”
Shaking her head, Crystal stood up, removed her shoes, and crawled into her bunk. Before she pulled the blanket over herself, she said, “The unforgivable part is that I refused to think about what I was doing to Matthew. It was too easy to shut my eyes to the past, and now we’re both hurt.”
Olivia blew out the candles and crawled into bed as well. Neither enjoyed a very restful night’s sleep. By noon the following day Olivia wondered how they could endure another day together. Matthew avoided them completely, while Alex turned a puzzled frown from one to the other.
****
They reached Cincinnati in the middle of the afternoon. Alex docked at the wharf. Coming out of the pilothouse, he smiled around the silent circle, saying, “Good thing this craft is small; otherwise we’d be anchored midstream. This is a busy port.”
Caleb came out of the cabin with their luggage, ready to carry it off the boat. He looked from one to the other. “Want me to find a hack?”
Olivia gave herself a mental shake and crisply answered, “Yes, please. We’ll have to concern ourselves with finding passage tomorrow.” She turned and looked around the group, from Alex’s long face, to Matthew’s frown, and decided, “Crystal,” she said, “we might as well follow him.”
With a wan smile and a limp handshake, Crystal went down the stairs. Olivia watched Matthew hesitate and then clatter down after Caleb. With a sigh and shake of her head, she pulled the shawl across her shoulders and reluctantly followed, wondering why her feet felt as heavy as lead.
Alex was standing by the gangplank, waiting for her to come down the stairs. The misery in his eyes stopped her. She touched his arm. “Please, this problem doesn’t involve you at all. Thank you for bringing us this far, and—” she choked.
He took her hand and tugged her close. “I appreciate your telling me. To say the least, I’m relieved.” Soberly he added, “I thought I’d ruined everything by giving you the Bible.”
“The Bible,” Olivia said slowly. “I’d forgotten all about it. Didn’t you mention explaining something?”
He nodded.
She said, “We’ve done nothing except cook and wash dishes the whole time.” She saw the regret in his eyes, but before he could reply, she tried for a light note. “About a job. I may come to you yet for a reference. Might just go west and hire on as a cook, if the parents toss me out.”
“Tell them to toss you my direction. If you aren’t interested in learning to be a steamboat pilot, at least come cook for me.”
His attempt at humor left her with an unexplainable misery. Olivia blinked at tears in her eyes. “Alex, I’m glad you and Matthew forced me to come along; it’s been an experience I’ll—”
Abruptly he lifted her hand to his lips, pressed her palm to his cheek. As she tugged it away and hurried down the gangplank, she heard him mutter, “‘Oh, that she knew she were!’”
With her hand still warm from his touch, she flew across the wharf; Caleb and Matthew helped her into the hack beside Crystal. After a brief goodbye, the two were off. They were nearly to the hotel before Olivia noticed the two bright spots of color on Crystal’s face.
She sat up straight and took a deep breath. “Sorry,” she said with a bright smile. “I’ve been wondering about a phrase Alex used. Sounds familiar. It must be a quotation, but I can’t remember all of it.”
The bright spots were still on Crystal’s cheeks when she said, “Matthew wanted me to tell you he will come to the hotel this evening. He wants to bring a letter for you to give to your father.”
“Oh, yes,” Olivia murmured. “The letter we both intended to write and never did. Poor Matthew; what will he say?” She paused, thought a moment, and added, “Poor me! I’ll have to face them in another two weeks.”
Chapter 31
It was nearly dusk when Matthew knocked on their door. Olivia opened the door, but Matthew looked past her and addressed Crystal. “Come stroll with me for a
while. There’s a park across the street; we’ll be back in time for dinner.”
Olivia watched the trapped expression grow on Crystal’s face as she looked from Olivia to Matthew. While she hesitated, Olivia opened her mouth to speak. She saw Matthew’s bleak face. “Oh, Crystal, do walk. It will be good for you.”
Crystal stood motionless, the hurt in her eyes equaling the pain in Matthew’s. “Go, both of you—at least part friends.” Impatiently Olivia gave Crystal a gentle push. The two of them walked out the front door of the hotel after promising Olivia that they’d be back in time to eat.
As dinnertime approached, Olivia paced the lobby waiting for Matthew and Crystal to return. The words Alex had said kept running through her mind. Oh, that she knew she were! “Why does that phrase come back to haunt me?”
Matthew and Crystal hurried through the entrance. Just a moment before Matthew released her arm, Olivia saw their faces and had to turn away. The pain she felt must not show.
As they crossed the lobby to join her, she found herself questioning her reaction. Was it pity, or a hidden envy?
The three of them walked together over to a dining table and sat down. Olivia smiled at them and said, “It must have been a beautiful walk; you both look much more content with the world.”
“It was a wonderful walk,” Matthew murmured, seemingly absorbed in the menu.
Hastily Crystal said, “Preferable to promenading the same two square feet of deck.” Quickly she flipped the menu open and added, “What are you going to have for dinner, Olivia?”
****
As Olivia finished her hair and turned from the mirror, Crystal said, “I don’t believe I will go down for breakfast with you. I just don’t seem to want any this morning. Will you please go without me?” She added, “But come up here before you make travel arrangements.”
Without waiting for an answer, she turned away. Olivia shrugged and said, “As you wish. I’ll hurry, I didn’t realize it was so late. I think I’m beginning to be a sleepyhead.”
Olivia finished her breakfast, eyed the croissant and considered taking it to her friend. “Crystal, you said no,” she murmured. “I’ll refrain, and you can be angry at my heartlessness.”
