I looked across the room at the golden, False Lightstone resting on its marble pedestal beneath the window; I looked at the seven Masters of the Brotherhood who kept hidden the Great Gelstei. I said, 'Do you possess an akashic crystal, then?'
'No, we don't,' Abrasax told me. 'But there is this.'
So saying, he drew forth a book from beneath the pile of cushions behind him and showed it to me. Its cover seemed made of some shiny, hard substance like lacquered wood. Bright golden glyphs shone from it, but I could not read them, for they were of a script unfamiliar to me. Abrasax laid the book on our table. He opened it, and my eyes fairly burned with surprise, for its pages were like none I had even seen. Abrasax riffled through them, and I thought that there must be thousands of them, each thinner than a piece of rice paper and as clear as a window pane. It seemed that Abrasax's strong fingers must easily rip or fracture these tinkling, tissue-like wisps. When I expressed my fear of this, he smiled and said, 'The pages are quite sturdy. Here, try turning them yourself.'
I put my thumb and finger to one of the pages; it felt strangely cool to the touch and as tough as old parchment.
'I read this long ago,' Abrasax said. 'After speaking with Master Juwain earlier, I asked Brother Kendall to retrieve it from the library that we might make reference to it tonight.'
'You read it how?' Maram called out. 'The pages have no letters!'
'Do they not?' Abrasax asked him with a smile. 'Perhaps you are just not looking at them right.'
And with that, he opened the book to a page he had marked, and he held his hand over it. Then Maram gave a little gasp of astonishment, and so did I, for the clear crystal of the page suddenly took on an albescent tone as of the white of an egg being fried. Hundreds of glyphs, like little black worms, popped into view and crowded the page in many columns.
'Sorcery!' Maram called out to Abrasax. He thumped his hand down upon our table near the book, 'I would accuse you of sorcery, as I did Master Virang, but I suppose that you'll just tell me, ah, that you're only helping me to see what was already there to see?'
Abrasax exchanged smiles with Master Virang, then turned his attention back to Maram and the book. 'No, this time the explanation is simpler, for the writing was not there to see. Only one who possesses the key to the book can unlock it and bring the script into sight.'
'But you made no move to unlock it, unless waving your hand like a conjuror constitutes such. Where is the key?'
Abrasax pointed his finger at his forehead and told Maram, 'Inside here. Each book is keyed to open to a phrase, which must be memorized and held inside the mind or sometimes spoken.'
'Like one of the Way Rhymes?'
Abrasax nodded his head at this. 'The Brotherhood must protect its secrets. And its treasures.'
'But I never heard that the Brotherhood kept such treasures!' Maram said as he regarded the book in wonder.
'Neither,' Master Juwain said, studying it as well, 'did I.'
'But what is its secret?' Maram asked. 'Obviously, the pages are made of some sort of gelstei — what sort, and how do you make it?'
'It is called the vedastei,' Abrasax informed him as he ran his finger down the page's glyphs. 'And I did not say that we made this — only that we protect it. And cherish it for what it contains. It is that knowledge, of the Maitreya, that concerns us now.'
He cleared his throat and pressed his finger at the writing near the middle of the page as he read to us: '"He is the Shining One who dwells in two worlds; he is the light inside darkness, and the life that knows no death." '
Against one of the windows above us, I saw Flick spinning about in a whirl of silver lights. I remembered how, in Tria, the Galadin had sent this luminous being to bring me word of the Maitreya in verses that I now recited to Abrasax:
The Shining Ones who live and die
Between the whirling earth and sky
Make still the sun, all things ignite -
And earth and heaven reunite.
The Fearless Ones find day in night
And in themselves the deathless light,
In flower, bird and butterfly,
In love: thus dying, do not die.
I finished speaking and nodded at Abrasax. He tapped his book as he said to me, 'Do not these words concord with your verses and what Estrella has told us tonight?'
Without warning, Maram thumped his hand upon the table, rattling our cups. He looked at Abrasax and grumbled out, 'Estrella said nothing of two worlds. I, for one, know this world, and that should be enough, shouldn't it? And yet you of the Brotherhood are never satisfied unless you can speak of another.'
Abrasax's response to this was to flip through the pages of the book. He must have found the passage that he was seeking, for he suddenly nodded his head. He said to Maram, 'These words were written by Master Li of the Avasian Brotherhood.'
'The Avasian Brotherhood? Ah, I've never heard of such.'
'That is because,' Abrasax said, without further explanation, 'it existed on another world, that of Varene, many ages ago. Now listen, for this bears most pertinently on the matter of the Maitreya.'
His eyes gleamed as he pulled at his fluffy white beard. Then he read to us:
' "Two realms there are: the One and the manifold. The first is causeless, inextinguishable, infinite — and some say as blissful as the sun's light on a perfect spring day. The second realm is created, and all things that dwell there suffer, age and die. It is all nails and fire, beauty that fades, a few moments of sweetness and noble dreams. Some call this the world, and others hell. It is man's path to strive ever upward, toward the heavens, toward the sun. But to go beyond the world toward the One, we must go beyond ouselves. It is almost like dying, is it not? A newborn ceases to exist in becoming a child, as a child does in becoming a man. And as all men must do if they are to walk the path of angels. And then, the greatest death of all when the Galadin perish in their bodies and die into light in the creation of a new universe. Who has utter faith in the goodness of such a sacrifice? Who would not fear that such a path might lead to the utter obliteration of one's being?" '
Abrasax finished reading and looked at me. 'And yet we must not fear. Overcoming fear is the cardinal task of any warrior, be he of the sword or the spirit. Many fail. Even the angels.'
He paused to take a drink of tea and moisten his throat. Then he said to me, 'In Tria, you learned the truth of Angra Mainyu, didn't you?'
I shrugged my shoulders at this. I glanced at Kane. 'Can any man know very much about the Galadin?'
'We know this, I think,' Abrasax said. 'Angra Mainyu, and too many of his kind, came to dread the Galadin's fate. And so he clung to his form as a leech does to living flesh. And so rather than becoming infinitely greater in giving himself to the universe, he tries to suck the blood from all things and take the universe into himself — and so becomes infinitely less.'
I considered this for a moment, then asked him, 'And the Maitreya?'
'The Maitreya is sent to heal those such as the Dark One and to keep others from falling as he has.'
I remembered the blood rushing from my father's lips as he died, and all the thousands of men lying still upon the reddened grass of the Culhadosh Commons. I felt Morjin's baleful eyes nailing me to a fiery cross, and all the while my heart drummed with a dreadful sickness inside my chest. And I said to Abrasax, 'Is that possible?'
'It must be possible.' He glanced over at Estrella sitting happily at her table. 'The Maitreya, in great gladness of life, is sent to show all beings the shining depths of themselves that can never die. And that, ultimately, the two realms are one and the same.'
Maram seemed not to like what he was hearing, for he knocked the bottom of his tea cup against the tiled table as if to announce his annoyance. He caught Abrasax's attention and asked him, 'Are you saying that when we when pass into this infinite realm of yours, that some part of us keeps on shining? And that therefore, there is no true death?'
'That,' Abrasax told him, 'is
my belief.'
Maram gazed into his empty teacup as he muttered, 'And therefore, I suppose, there is nothing to fear.'
'You understand, then,' Abrasax said, smiling at him.
'I understand that there is nothing to fear, and that is precisely what I do fear: the great, black void at the end of life that swallows us all. You say this neverness is full of light. The Shining Ones, if we're to believe you, say this in their gladness. Ah, all your books say it, too. But who, I ask you, has ever returned from the land of the dead to tell of it?'
Abrasax seemed to have no answer to this; for a moment he turned his attention to sipping his tea. Then his eyes grew hard and bright, and he called out: 'Master Virang! Master Matai! Master Storr!'
He issued instructions for a repositioning of the tables and of everyone in the room. Atara, Estrella and Daj moved over to join the rest of our company at our two tables, while the Seven took their places with Masters Yasul and Nolashar at theirs. The artifacts still resting there were put back into the treasured ebony box — all except the ivory chess piece. This carved, ancient 'king', four inches long, Abrasax set precisely at the center of the table. Then he and the other masters once again brought forth their seven round crystals. They sat in a circle holding out these stones around the chess piece.
'I must now say more about the Great Gelstei,' Abrasax told us. 'Is there anyone who does not remember the account of creation in the Beginnings?'
'Do you mean,' Daj piped in, 'how the Ieldra sang the universe into existence?'
He beamed with pride at his recently acquired knowledge as Abrasax smiled and nodded his head at him. And then Abrasax said. 'The account in the Saganom Elu is poetic and magisterial and certainly true. But not all has been told there. Exactly how, we might ask, did the Ieldra bring the One's design into its full flowering?'
He looked at Kane and added, 'You must surely know.'
'So — I have forgotten, if ever I did know.'
Abrasax smiled sadly, and then he told us that many books in the Brotherhood's library contained knowledge as to this arcane subject. He related an amazing story, part of which had been revealed to my companions and me the year before in the amphitheater of the Urudjin outside of Tria: 'Seven colors there are, and they create all the beauty of the world and all that we see. And the seven notes that we summon out of trumpet or mandolet ring out the melodies of all music. So with the seven Openers and the creation of the world. The gelstei that crystallized out of the primeval fire were infinitely greater than these little stones that we of the Brotherhood are privileged to keep. And they opened up all the infinite possibilities of life. For as the Ieldra sang, the great crystals vibrated like the strings of a harp, and brought into being and form all things.'
Maram gazed at the gelstei shining in the Masters' hands. He asked, 'Are you saying that these stones partake of the power of the mythical gelstei?'
'They are not mythical,' Abrasax told him. 'They exist somewhere, out in the stars, beyond Agathad.'
'But do they still have the power to create?'
'Yes — and to uncreate. Even as these stones do.'
He nodded at Master Matai, whose red crystal lit up like a glowing demon's eye. Then Master Virang's stone, the Second, flared with an orange fire, and so with the other Masters' gelstei in a progression of hues. As Abrasax's clear stone spat out a fierce white light, the crystals all began pouring forth sound as well. It might have been called music, but the harsh tones and shrills that vibrated from the crystals filled the chamber with a terrible stridor more like a wail of death than a song. It built louder and ever more jangling upon ear and nerve until I felt compelled to throw my hands over my ears. I watched in amazement as the ivory of the chess piece seemed to lose its substance and began wavering in the candles' soft light. And then, suddenly, with a skreak like breaking metal, it vanished into thin air.
'Sorcery!' Maram cried out. He moved over to the Masters' table, and rudely wedged his body between Master Yasul and Master Storr, He ran his hand around the table's bare surface where the chess piece had sat.
'It's gone!' Daj cried out. 'The king is gone — but where?'
'Ah, gone into nothing,' Maram muttered. 'Into hell. It would seem it has been annihilated, like a man's soul when life's candle blows out.'
The seven Masters seemed to meditate upon their gelstei. And Abrasax said to Daj, and to Maram, 'Wait.'
A few moments later, with a chiming like that of struck bells, the chess piece winked back into plain view. I sat blinking my eyes. Maram reached out to snatch it up with his fat fingers before it disappeared again. 'More sorcery! he cried out. He gripped the carved ivory hard! in his hand as if to reassure himself that it was real.
And Abrasax said to him, 'Don't be so sure you know what existence is — or isn't.'
Maram waved his hand at this. 'I think you must have somehow hidden from our sight what was there all along. And then caused us to see it once again.'
Abrasax held out his hand to take the chess piece from Maram as he shook his head. He showed us all the gleaming white king.
'No, that was not the way of things,' he said. 'This, for a moment was truly unmade. But our gelstei, being small, possess only a small power. We of the Seven possess even less. It is not the province of man to unmake things.'
'So,' Kane growled out. His black eyes seemed to grow even blacker, like two bits of neverness that might swallow up not only a chunk of carved ivory but entire worlds.
'And it is not,' Abrasax said, looking from Kane to Maram, 'the province of the Elijin, or even the Galadin. To the Ieldra, and only to the Ieldra, is given the power to create and uncreate.'
'I wish the Ieldra would just uncreate Angra Mainyu,' Maram said. 'And Morjin I and every other evil creature in the world.'
'That is not the way of things, either,' Abrasax told him, giving him back the chess piece. 'The Ieldra, according to the One's design, sing the universe into creation. But once it is created, no single part may be unmade. All is necessary. Nothing may be subtracted just because it seems to be hateful or bad.'
I sat watching Maram twirl the chess piece between his fingers, and I said, 'If Morjin got his hands on those gelstei of yours, he'd try to use them to subtract us from the world. And much else that he hates.'
Abrasax nodded his head at this. 'And with Angra Mainyu, it would be much worse. Once freed from Damoom, he would try to use the Lightstone to seize the greatest of the Great Gelstei and unmake the Ieldra themselves. He would, I think, fail. But out of his failure would come cataclysm and fire, and he would cause the Ieldra to have to destroy all things.'
I turned to look out the chamber's windows up at the faraway stars. And I said, 'But why? I don't understand.'
'I'm not sure I do either,' Abrasax said with a heavy sign. 'At least not completely. It seems to me, though, that the Ieldra abide the evil of the world because out of it, sometimes, comes great good. But once all is fallen into darkness, forever, what would be the purpose of making everything suffer without ademption or end?'
What, indeed? I wondered, as I thought of my mother hanging all broken and bloody from a plank of wood.
As Maram continued playing with the chess piece, Abrasax looked at me and said, 'I think we have an answer to both Sar Maram's question and yours. If this king can return from the realm of the unmade, then so can a prince vanquish his fear of death — and so in dying, will not die. But only, I believe, with the help of the Maitreya.'
'If you do believe that,' I said to him, 'then for love of the world help us to find him!'
At this, Master Storr's fingers closed around his gelstei, and he said. 'It is for love of the world — and much, much else — that we must be sure of you. Wine poured into a cracked cup not only is wasted but helps destroy the cup.'
'I will not fail!' I half-shouted at Master Storr.
'Bold words,' he said to me. 'But what if you do fail?'
The room fell quiet as he and the others of the Seven sat regardin
g me. And then Master Okuth said, 'If the Maitreya is slain or falls into Morjin's hands, then we see no hope of Angra Mainyu ever being healed. And so no hope for Ea and all the other worlds of Eluru.'
'The risk is great beyond measure,' Master Virang said to me. 'And not just to the world, but to yourself. If you fall into Morjin's hands, or fall as his master did, then — '
'But we have to take the chance!' I cried out. 'Or else we might as well be dead already!'
For a while everyone sat quite still. The smell of various teas steeping in hot water filled the air. Then Abrasax looked at me with unnerving percipience, and said, 'Your manner, Valashu, the fire of your eyes, all you have dared and done — this bespeaks the attainment of the highest Valari ideal. And yet I think you find your valor in being drawn to that which you most dread.'
I said nothing as I tried to return his relentless gaze.
'You would wish,' he continued, 'for others to see you as fearless, as you would like to see yourself. But you fear this never-ness that Prince Maram has told of so terribly, don't you?'
I could hardly look at him as I nodded my head and said, 'Yes.'
'And you fear, too,' Abrasax said as the others of the Seven bent closer to me, 'that Morjin will be the one to damn you to exile in this lightless land?'
Yes, yes, yes! And as I feared, so I hated; and as I hated my heart ached with a black, bitter wrath that poisoned my blood and darkened everything I held inside as beautiful and good. How I longed to take a sword to this dreadful disease that consumed me! But I could not, as I might rid myself of a rotting limb, simply cut it out.
'And most of all,' Abrasax said, looking at me deeply, 'you fear your hatred of Morjin.'
'It is killing me!' I called out.
The fury that poured out of me beat against Liljana, Master Juwain and the others sitting close to me with the force of a raging river. It caught up the seven Masters, as well. Their faces fell ashen and sick, and Master Storr gripped the edge of his table as if to keep himself from being swept away. And then Master Juwain placed his hand on the center of my back, and I drew in three long, deep breaths.
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