"You have a way with redheads don’t you?"
I was struck by the nonchalance with which she said it and also the kiss she blew at him afterwards.
Me, I would have been purple with jealousy seeing my man fooling around with a beautiful girl of disarming sensuality in a miniskirt. Besides, no one wore skirts in this place so why did that little slut? Is she maybe undermining the relationship between those two beautiful people?"
I began to feel angry. There was little way out with a rival like that. I felt something boiling inside me.
Valdes! ... jealousy!…. my head was overheating.
I sat at my desk, angry and confused and tried to look through the window to let off some steam from the accumulated tension. I thought back to my dream and this helped me to relax partly. Matt did the rest.
He walked into my office without notice and in a commanding tone that I had already heard him use with Kurl, he said,
"Quickly Kate, move yourself! You're at least five seconds late, come directly to my office!”
I leapt to my feet and my chair slammed into the glass behind me. My thoughts extended out beyond the building as I found myself moving quickly in the direction of Matt’s office.
Five seconds? Five-seconds late? Damn! No ... he must be kidding me!
I walked into his office not knowing what to expect. Matt and Sonia were smiling at me and I had a strange thought. I would not let anyone come between these two people, even at the cost of my life. The thought suddenly seemed ridiculous - I couldn’t even defend myself.
So I accepted the situation as it was and waited.
Matt said,
"We’re having a meeting in ten minutes, you will be officially presented to the rest of the management staff, so ... get ready."
Sonia added,
"We'll do a quick assessment of the first semester, so you can begin to familiarize yourself with the work and staff."
We headed for the meeting room on the same floor. Some people had already arrived. They indicated that I should sit at the end of an oval table - the chair to my left was empty and I counted three other people present on that side. In front of me were Matt and Sonia and to my right sat four people. Not everyone was present apparently but there were sufficient numbers for a fast presentation of the semester.
The executives were briefly presented to me. I would have the opportunity later to deepen my knowledge by working alongside them.
Sonia began to speak, taking stock of the situation. It seemed that things were going pretty well, the first half had registered an increase in turnover and a seventeen percent profits increase, slightly lower than the increase in sales, blah blah blah .... I felt rather disinterested but I remained attentive. Everyone contributed some advice, trying to convince the others of the best strategies to adopt and so on.
Matt stepped in and I felt a little lost when he began with a firm tone,
"Well guys, you have met our Kate and as you well know she controls the Sales, Production and Logistics and Forwarding departments. Of course she still has yet to find her way in the company but I am certain that with your help she will be better able to carry out her duties.”
Is he talking about me? I thought to myself, taken aback by all the attention.
And then,‘our’Kate? I could not believe what I had just heard, he’s being flippant as usual.
Any time now he will tell everyone that he was joking, everyone would have a good laugh and the matter would end there. This is what I expected, but it didn’t happen.
What happened was they all stared at me. There was absolute silence. I wasn’t sure if they expected something from me but I was sure I would not be able to say a single syllable. Darkness and emptiness took possession of me. What the hell do you expect from me? A speech? I didn’t even know anything about this meeting! "
The purchasing manager Vidmer unlocked the situation, leaving me surprised and even more terrified when he said,
"Well Kate, we're all really eager to listen and put into practice your valuable advice."
I looked at him with wide eyes. Was he serious? What was I supposed to say? Oh yes, hello, my name is Kate and until recently I worked as a prostitute. Now I am going to give you some valuable free advice!
But he wasn’t laughing. I could not see even the tiniest hint of envy in his eyes and not a word of antagonism in his voice.
My mind seemed to be stalled. I wanted to be somewhere else. It must have been a sensation similar to dying that gripped my throat. I breathed deeply.
"Well gentlemen, I believe we just need to relate to one another correctly, study together and implement an agreed winning strategy on every single step to be followed. No one can then have any doubts about the projects we need to put in practice and in this way we must succeed in our efforts to improve an already good business situation.”
Yes, those words flowed from my mouth but I was shocked and unbelieving. I had hardly taken a breath and expressed what appeared to make absolute sense, without saying anything definitive.
I’m a genius, I thought. The words could not have come from me but they all regarded me with what seemed to be respect and admiration.
Matt and Sonia stared at me with eyes so bright that I almost needed to wear sunglasses!
How could I trick everyone like that? I wanted to cry out to them not to listen, that it wasn’t me talking .... just what on earth was happening to me?
THE FIRST REAL DAY OF WORK
I found myself sitting in the meeting. The managers had all left with warm goodbyes. For my part I had the distinct sensation of betraying the trust that had been placed in me. I knew I was not able to support the position that I had been given.
When they were gone Matt turned to me. His voice was deep and serious.
"Kate, don’t worry, the work you have to do is quite straightforward. We know that you feel like a gladiator thrown into the arena without a weapon. The first thing to do is to observe, watch carefully what is going on in the various departments. Then you need to develop strategies to improve each situation where you feel there is room for it. The last step is simply to put into practice what you have planned; trust yourself and listen to your instincts."
Sonia added,
“You are always welcome to ask me anything - we will always help you if and when it is necessary. However I don’t believe you will need our help even if at the moment it can seem exactly the opposite to you.”
They said cheerio and left me alone in the meeting room to reflect.
I heard a distant voice. It was Matt.
“Are you convinced now?”
“More than convinced,”Sonia replied,“and in any case I never doubted your instinct.”
Soothing laughs of satisfaction were lost in the air as the door to their offices closed behind them.
Were they both crazy? I wondered if it was some kind of collective madness. I stretched a bit and put my feet up on the large table.
I hadn’t yet completed the third day of this strange experience but I already found myself sinking into an enormous sea of crap.
What I really needed to know was the reason for my presence in that place. Why was I here? Oh yes that’s it - little old me, Senior N Technology executive of the Sales, Production and Shipping departments! Just this then? I asked myself, reclining the seat and gazing upwards. I directed my question out loud at the ceiling. Nothing else then?
I didn’t understand and when I don’t understand I react. I smelt the strong odour of a rat. At any moment I expected my inner voice to be saying“I told you so! There’s the catch!”
It just could not be real. In a trance, I got up and went to my office. Alice brought me back to earth.
“See you tomorrow Kate, have a good evening.”
Perhaps I was dreaming again?
I made my way home with an empty head but a million thoughts swirling around like vultures around their prey. And the prey was me!
I entered the grounds without re
alising I had driven home, slightly disappointed that I had not really appreciated driving my beautiful car.
I went to Matt and Sonia having made a decision.
"I'm sorry guys, I need to rearrange my thoughts, I'm going to dine at home if that’s OK?”
Sonia replied,
“No problem Kate, we had already decided to go out for dinner. Matt knows a great restaurant where the fish is good. We’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
At home, Serena had already prepared a cold meal and left it on my table. I nibbled a piece of parmesan abstractedly, then I undressed and got into the shower.
I thought the water could liberate my head from the thoughts whirling around like a cartoon.
I felt slightly better but the thinking went on.
I decided to eat something, I was tired of thinking and I didn’t feel like doing it any more. I couldn’t shake off how the whole situation was completely ridiculous, out of place and frankly silly.
I placated a hunger I didn’t have. I turned to Serena’s tray and found it empty.
I chewed on some raisins, taking them directly from a large bag ripped open clumsily.
What I ate that night I do not remember exactly.
I collapsed onto the soft sofa, turned on the tv but I was too distracted to watch it and thinking was no longer an option. I managed this especially well. I have no memory of how I got from the sofa to my bed.
I closed my eyes, sank into a vortex of thoughts that I watched from a distance like so many bubbles wanting to converse with me, tiny swirling midges.
I relived the sound bite clips of my incomprehensible day, trying to analyze the events and remain detached, but I didn’t find it that easy.
I compared some of the feelings I had during the meeting with the others I experienced in that marvellous dream of the night before. I had the distinct feeling that the events of today had not occurred to me directly. I had no idea how I had managed to find the words I had uttered.
I soon fell asleep and found myself in another nightmare. It was the usual one
where I was escaping because someone was chasing me. I was thrown into a dark, gloomy village, inhabited but semi-deserted. I ran off towards a small wood.
Gasping, I felt terror take possession of me and more and more of my actions. My movements were sticky with muffled noises. I wanted to run faster but it wasn’t possible.
Yes, it was the same old cursed nightmare, not the first time I found myself catapulted into this situation. I often woke up with a start, shaking and feeling my throat constricted, suffocated. But not this time.
I ran, panting and felt myself picked up by two strong arms. I looked the stranger in the face.
"Valdes!" I exclaimed as I hugged him.
He stared at me calmly and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. I gently pushed away and shouted,
"Turn around and fight."
I could not believe it, I was left alone to my fate. Feeling strange energy growing inside of me however, I turned. Terror distilled down into simple fear and then in an instant rage, fury, a violent controlled fury towards my pursuers.
I found myself armed with all the weapons I had ever seen, laser swords, machine guns and daggers included. I carried out a merciless slaughter. Adrenalin flowed through me from head to toe. I almost frightened myself with the fury I radiated.
Then silence fell in the nightmare. The fear dissipated, after which a genuine and unwavering courage took possession of me. I went forward to look at the victims of my massacre, expecting to find dismembered bodies, severed limbs and pools of blood, but no, I saw absolutely nothing.
I was alone, there was stillness all around me. A question hit me like a thunderbolt that slashes the mind in two. Who exactly was the victim of my inhuman fury?
All was quiet, the terror passed and I was able to take control of my nightmare.
I woke up with a smile, the image of Valdes kissing me tenderly on the forehead mademe relive that light and familiar touch. I breathed deeply of the crisp morning air and threw open the living room doors. I was feeling renewed respect for myself - I had decided to work hard in my role as an N Technology manager and do my very best to make things successful.
But for the moment I tucked into some splendid marmalade and made a hearty breakfast. It was a new day and I decided wisely to begin it by changing my blouse.
THE FIRST WEEKEND
Matt and Sonia were not up yet. I thought it was strange but I decided to go on ahead. I had to study the battlefield for my future moves. I gripped at the wheel of my‘Silver Fireball’- nice, I liked that, yes…I would call it Silver Fireball!
The day had started pretty well!
I drove across the hill, descending and taking the freeway that led me almost to the company gate. The gate itself was closing and the vehicle broke the infra-red beam as it passed through, re-opening the entrance.
I left the car in my number four space in the parking lot and climbed the three steps into the reception area, which was empty. I thought the girl was maybe in the bathroom, took the elevator and pressed the number four button. I thought,‘Tremble everyone, the furious phantom is coming!’and found myself mimicking a ghostly figure with one arm and feeling pretty silly - not too silly, just enough.
It seemed Alice had not yet arrived either. I went into the office and walked across to the large window facing the parking lot to take another look at my car before going to work.
Strangely, it was semi-deserted. I looked down the hall. I saw only one figure, one of the cleaners. Hearing movement behind him he turned and greeted me with "Good morning, working on Saturday?"
Immersed in my thoughts and my renewed confidence and considering the events of the previous day I had lost all track of time!
I surrendered to fate, looked at my watch and realized that it was almost noon. How long had I slept? I spoke my question aloud and my voice was faint in the empty room.
I returned to the car, walked up to the entrance gate. Closed. Now how the hell do I get out?
I moved forward a few feet and the gate began to open. Perfectly automated.
I found myself relaxed and driving through the countryside surrounding the estate, right at the foot of the hill.
I drove down the road that I could see from above and saw a stream that served as a natural boundary for the hill. Try as I might I couldn’t make out the house where I lived, I could not see even the slightest clue of its existence, the trees and the sinuous curves of the hill hid it from view..
I went home and found Sonia and Matt sitting under the big oak tree. Sonia wore the dress that we had bought together.
They greeted me with a friendly "Hello vagabond."
I kept them company during that strange breakfast-lunch and I told them I would make a trip into town the same afternoon.
Sonia went to the house and came out again. She handed me an envelope which I opened and found inside a credit card along with my documents that I had carelessly forgotten in her car.
My documents! I had forgotten about them. As far as I remembered they were still in the hands of Kurl, who had held them hostage as a blackmail weapon.
“The documents are new,”Matt said,“And you may need the card. Keep it with you, it’s yours.”He sipped at his coffee.
I thanked him and paused a moment to regard the strange couple in their pleasant but useless chatter. They obviously worshipped each other, you could see this from their faces. She was…. a goddess, no other words would work; finely-chiseled features, lean and proportioned without an ounce of fat. I dropped my gaze to my stomach and wondered how she managed to be so slender.
For Matt I had the same question as when I first encountered him. How old was he? He didn’t seem old, at first I would have said anything from thirty five to fifty but looking at him now….. between thirty and forty five.
I didn’t really understand what I found so compellingly attractive in those two people. I just knew I liked them a lot. As if read
ing my thoughts they both turned and stared at me, moving oddly in unison like fish and staring at me with their now familiar eyes. I felt an unusual and indescribable heat in their expression; a mixture of friendliness, respect, love and admiration.
It was difficult to maintain a scrutiny like that, especially from two people. The intensity was hypnotic.
I felt part of a family and I wasn’t going to disappoint. I still was not sure how but I was absolutely not going to let them down.
I went for a stroll behind the house and decided to make a little trip. Thirty minutes in the car later and I arrived at the nearest town, parked, fed the meter and walked off towards the centre.
I passed the shop where I had made purchases before but this time I was not interested. I had no intention to buy anything, I simply wanted to distract and entertain myself as I knew the new week would be demanding. I decided to relax - it was my first weekend as a free person since I had left home.
I looked at musical instruments in a shop window and my eyes fell on a drum kit. I remembered when Ivan had given me a couple of drum sticks.
“They big sticks for eat Chinese spling rolls?”I teased him, holding them like enormous chopsticks.
“What a fool!,”he had replied, smiling.
He explained what they were for and taught me how to use them. I remember I had difficulty using my left hand but soon became good enough to disturb my parents sensitive ear drums, whacking away at anything that might make a sound.
Remembering my parents, Irina came also to mind, my beloved blond sister. In my mind I gave her a hug and a big kiss. I didn’t want to be tearful and sentimental at that very moment but one thing was certain - I adored and missed her.
Planet-H: The End of the Beginning Page 6
