My father had died and Pierre had married my sister.
This is what Pierre told me. I did not even get to my house.
I met him next to the tavern. He recognized me and with excessive kindness asked me to follow him to their new home, where my sister was happy to see me.
He had not changed much. Aged only but with the same dirty, smelly clothes.
He slyly tricked me into going behind the tavern where he turned on me, slapped me and grabbed my hands, pushing me against the wall.
"So you're back bitch! We have a score to settle if I remember correctly." His voice was hoarse and angry.
He spun me around holding my hands firmly behind my back.
Strangely, I could offer no resistance, almost aware of my destiny.
He pushed me against a barrel bending me over roughly and slamming his nose up against the wood.
He lifted my dress and spat on my sex. He covered it with saliva using his free hand, opened the lips of the vagina and said,
"So Ifinally have the opportunity to make you feel what it means to have a real man between your legs!"
Without hesitation or scruples in one fell swoop he pushed all of his member inside me.
I screamed in pain as he hit the bottom. That excited him more.
He let go my hands and I did not respond.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
I tried to remember the sweet time spent with Jean and a tear fell on my cheek.
His hands gripped my buttocks with force and helped him to thrust. He leaned hard into my body. His stench drifted up to me and disgust turned to nausea.
"I know you like it! You've always been my favorite! Fucking your sister is like screwing a corpse!"
His hands gripped around my neck, while his moans grew in intensity.
I felt him stiffen as a guttural scream came out of his throat, his hands clasped stronger around my neck and my breathing became more and more shallow. My mind felt that life was fading slowly until it disappears ... of everything.
I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in the room that I remembered.
Like a dream too real to be a dream, Francesca struggled to shake him off, still feeling the burning sensation on the skin of the hands that clutched at her neck.
Everything retraced that journey, from birth to death, focusing on the beautiful moments spent in the convent.
"Farewell Jean ... Jean De Roquetaillade" she thought, glad for those intense emotions lived with him, sharing his strength and his knowledge, his enthusiasm and his genius.
"Have fun?" Ernesto's voice interrupted her thoughts and she returned to reality.
"Fun is not the appropriate word," I said, still immersed in the sensations of that journey, "you should know it too well. You who travel. You who are a seeker. You who, like me, are looking elsewhere for answers to this existence.”
"Ernesto, tell me ...." I continued. She still could not get up from the couch and he was in charge of the electrodes,“have you ever considered that one day you might wake up in another place, in another time, with an operator that takes you back to reality!"
"Are you thinking about a kind of Chinese box?" he asked.
He thought about it and it didn’t seem so absurd. But that was just one of many uphill roads climbed in order to understand.
"... a virtual reality in a virtual reality ..... interesting. But why?" he asked his beautiful Nephelim.
"Do you know a better prison than the one where you don’t even know you are a prisoner?”
THE AWAKENING
The diffusers went out. I knew I was always Kate during that trip, but I felt I had lived the two lives as if I had been the protagonist.
I had made a leap into the future where I had chosen to embark on a journey into the past for fun.
I stood thinking of what had just happened. I couldn’t really tell if that experience had been real or dream - like. I had lived through it in a more detached way perhaps but surely it was damn realistic. Especially death by suffocation.
Bones advised me to relax and stay still, lying down for a while.
Sven meanwhile replaced the equipment used for the experiment and Sgrunff made sure everything was in order.
Sonia came close. She was aware that some elements about the trip had affected me. She said,
"Some experiences were a bit exaggerated I know but I wanted you to see how a person can be deceived by this strange game. Now come, take a quick energy shower and maybe wash away some of the annoying residues of this experience.”
She came with me to the shower cubicle in her bathroom and adjusted the timer to two minutes and thirty seconds. I experienced again the wonderful feeling of small cascades of energy that washed me through inside and out. My thoughts began to dissipate like morning mist on a warm spring day.
At the end of the shower I felt completely relaxed.
"How do you feel?" Sonia asked, looking up from her handheld device. I replied that I was still a little‘upside down.’I had lived three lives and I felt the need to reflect on the experience.
She said it was normal to feel this way because of my physical condition. It would be a good idea to take the rest of the day off.
"Take off for a while Kate, go for a nice walk in the hills or downtown. If you feel over-tired, rest and let your memories and your thoughts align and settle down."
So I said goodbye and took the rest of the day free. I spent the night on the estate.
The next day I found myself deciding what to do during the day while I took breakfast under the big oak tree.
I decided that I would go into the city and just hang around. I didn’t want to allow any more serious thoughts to disturb me.
I had no money so I stopped to pick up some at an ATM and I wandered the city streets aimlessly, window-shopping.
I saw a pair of earrings that I liked and thought of making a gift to my sister.
I thought back to the strange‘double leap’and wondered if one day there really would be interactive displays that called you by name when you walked by.
I developed an appetite walking around so I sat down at a table in a bar and ordered a toasted sandwich and a fruit juice, enjoying the crystal clear air of a midsummer day.
I ate calmly and then resumed my walk aimlessly, looking for those simple gestures that confirm normality.
My brain still struggled to comprehend what I had experienced recently and I tried to clear away every thought from my mind.
I was slowly beginning to relax however and my head gave some signs of recovery after the confusion of the past few days.
I went into a book store, looking absently at the displays. I had nothing specific in mind, I was not really interested in buying.
After wandering for about half an hour I finally bought two books at random, more because the assistants had began to regard me with curiosity than because of any real interest. I didn’t want them asking if I needed help.
I paid and went out. Passing near a pastry shop, I was attracted by a delicious scent and I halted before the display of delicious looking treats. My mind was working - come on Kate, buy yourself some sweet stuff! But no, I didn’t feel like carrying packages home. Yes, of course, the diet! Who knows how much sugar and butter they contain? But wait, you’re as thin as a rake! Come on, you deserve a treat!
When that stupid dialogue between me and myself ended, I concluded that in fact a little sugar would not have hurt so I bought a couple of pastries that I devoured instantly.
The afternoon passed quickly and quietly, I walked to the car and mademy way home.
I arrived back at the property and headed straight to the kitchen. Serena had her back turned. She was humming a happy tune while cleaning apples, reducing them to thin slices before placing them in a steel saucepan. I asked,
"Serena, can I grab something to eat?"
I intended to keep my own blissful company for a while, relaxed on the couch.
She replied,
She wiped her hands on her apron and headed towards the refrigerator.
After a quick shower I settled down to enjoy what Serena had left. Sitting comfortably on the red sofa in the living room, I began to munch at a selection of vegetables, breaded and fried. They were tasty and crunchy. That woman was really good in the kitchen.
I took the books that I had purchased. I looked at the first I was disappointed.
"Ugh ... damn, more religious stuff."
I had enough of written material on that particular subject, I just wanted distraction.
I leafed listlessly through. It was a book on the Bible, but I was attracted by some strange words and I decided to read it from the beginning. I was quickly so absorbed by this book that I finished it without realizing the time passing.
I had tears in my eyes from too much laughing. After all those heavy boring tomes that had recently passed through my hands, I had found something more suited to my character and that weighed up those sacred texts from the point of view of the bizarre and true.
It talked of God's brilliant but lazy creation, Adam lost and alienated in the first days in Eden. Bravo Mr. Dix! I thought.
I moved on to the second book, still laughing over the analyses of the previous author.
Again I thought I had madea bad purchase. The title drew my mind to Aristotle and the purification.
The catharsis was the ceremony of purification.
The author photographed on the back cover had a sympathetic expression, so I read on.
The jokes were witty and poetic but they ended with all the poise of a shovel in the teeth.
I continued laughing even after finishing the book, just as with the other‘sacred text.’I would certainly have to recommend these two to Sgrunff when he felt like having a laugh.
I put the books on the table and inadvertently touched the remote control, turning on the television.
There was a well-dressed presenter with a shiny smooth head like an egg, introducing a politician.
I had no intention of listening to useless discussions, so I grabbed the remote and was about to switch off when I saw that the politician was a little man dressed informally with the same hairstyle as the presenter, bizarelly dragging along what appeared to be a school desk.
I listened attentively. He was gesturing emphatically and enunciating the patter of a real politician but using sentences without meaning, often truncated in half.
I began to laugh, not missing a single joke.
I watched the rest of the program with its succession of strange characters.
I spent a fun evening, relaxed enough to analyze what I had read and seen.
To me it seemed heartening that there were people prepared to go beyond the normal curtain of falsehood that enveloped daily life. Among these there was a strange and funny tradition - a group of wild men comedians who speak the truth, albeit clothed in irony.
I went to bed satisfied with the day's amusement and it didn’t take me long to fall peacefully asleep.
VOICES IN THE HEAD
The new day began. With an effort I managed to hold off the multitude of questions attacking me on all sides although I had erected small mental‘barricades’to keep them under control.
I made my way to the classroom where Sgrunff was waiting. He asked me if I was going to make some changes to my analysis.
Every time the same thing - I was undecided on which hand to shake.
"Sgrunff, listen. I would like to ask you a question. "
"Ask away."
"Why ... well, how come you have four arms? Is it a genetic defect?"
"And you, Kate? tell me, why do you have two eyes? Is it a congenital defect? But do I ask weird questions? Obviously it is a genetic defect. My mother too has four arms and you should see how fast she prepares wonderful focacce bread! My father has four arms, as well as those of my family. I would feel like a monster if I had been born with only two arms. Sometimes I wonder how youmanage! I’d feel terribly embarrassed if I could only grab two objects at a time.”
I was still a little perplexed and wasn’t altogether sure that was the reply I wanted.
"Come on, Kate, don’t get sidetracked! After the experiences you have been through recently you must have some clearer ideas now," he said, lighting up the big wall behind him.
"Not in the least!," I replied, seating myself in the soft armchair, "in fact I'm trying not to lose my sanity."
He smiled. My analysis flashed up on the screen.
We read it again and I realised that I had made an error. I said,
"I linked to the lower mind some things that are the responsibility of the higher mind."
"Explain yourself."
I had piqued his interest - he looked thoughtful.
I laughed at the image that popped into my head.
"Sgrunff, if it were not for the four arms you could easily be mistaken for Danny De Vito disguised as Einstein!”
"I like to see you cheerful Kate and I'm happy to unleash your hilarity, but now proceed with your explanation," he said, shaking his head and whispering, "Danny De Vito, then this! I’m much better looking than him! And I’m also two inches taller!"
The little man was always smiling. Nothing seemed to disturb his serenity.
I concentrated and began my analysis aloud and confident as a university professor.
"First, the lower mind is responsible for movement and animal reactions, and this is a true and provable fact. What I have understood recently is that there is no genuine malice."
I paused to collect my thoughts. Sgrunff had sat down in front of me.
"Let's see if I can explain better. The struggle for survival of the species and the defense of the territory are its main activities. For example, in case of danger, fear is the alarm bell and this translates into rapid flight or ferocious attack.
It has rather coarse emotions and is responsible for operating the body under the direct or indirect control of the higher mind."
"I suspect that the dichotomies are all within the higher mind," I told Sgrunff with a thoughtful tone to my voice.
I continued by telling him that the higher mind developed solutions and strategies that were then run by the lower mind.
"Give me an example, Kate."
"The lower mind creates the sense of hunger when it considers that it is necessary for the survival of the body. The higher mind elaborates the plan to perform the act of eating. Once developed this plan is entrusted to the lower mind for execution. All this can occur at lightning speed.”
"Why do you suspect that the dichotomies are incorporated into the higher mind?" asked Sgrunff.
"Because it seems that within this mind there is always a conflict over anything. The thoughts are processed continuously as if there were two voices in the head, as if to create a perpetual dialogue. While you may want to proceed in a certain way on one subject, the other voice often gives you several alternatives and opposites to follow. They‘discuss’how best to do every individual thing, sometimes one predominates, while sometimes the other wins. They are often in stark contrast and when it happens it seems like one attempts to convince the other that it was right and tries to find excuses for the action that will be executed.”
"Hmmm ... interesting," said Sgrunff rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "Continue."
"People tend to give different names to these two items, they call them instinct, conscience, alter ego. There are hardly in full agreement. The almost always create a dichotomy, a kind of clash of ideas, leading to a final decision only after long contemplation.”
Sgrunff smiled, satisfied and said,
"The analysis is still rough, but it is basically correct, although the instinct may be seen in a different light and we will deepen the discussion at a later time. Can you relate the higher mind to a diffuser? And best of all, can you imagine how these two minds are in connection
with each other?”
I told him that the higher mind could very well be the diffuser placed on my face and it seemed that these two minds or diffusers were connected via small energy flows liked electric current flowing by the potential difference.
I had a few thousand questions that swirled in my mind and tried to create a logical thought.
I wanted to ask for an explanation, but Sgrunff interrupted me.
"Later you can ask Sven some questions. I have to go. I have a timetable to respect, me! We cannot waste time!"
He closed down the electronic devices. It seemed the lesson was over.
"Ah, Sonia is waiting for you in the infirmary to answer some of your questions with a little demonstration."
Another demonstration!? I thought. What’s going to happen to me now?
I went to the infirmary and said hello to Bones who was sitting opposite Sonia. My first question was,
"How come you have the answers ready before I can ask the questions?"
She smiled and said,
"Have you never suspected that perhaps we are guiding you to ask those questions? The path is still long, Kate.”
She handed me a package containing two sandwiches that Serena had prepared for me.
I quickly devoured one because I had an appetite; I still managed to leave a small stain on my blouse.
"The diabolical cocktail sauce has struck again," I whispered, laughing.
I put the second to one side and while Bones offered me one of his energy concoctions I regarded Sonia and delivered my first question.
Planet-H: The End of the Beginning Page 19
