by Tina Martin
“Thought about it,” I’ll admit. “But I didn’t. He asked me out to dinner.”
“Wait…like a date?”
“Yes. Then and there. I didn’t know what to do, but you know me…always saying no to everything. So, I did what I do best. I turned him down. I said no and he asked me why I was saying no, then he took me by the hand and showed me to a steakhouse.”
“He did what!” Priscilla yells.
“He took me to a steakhouse.”
“And you went?”
“I did.”
“Wait—so you actually had dinner with him?” Her voice is growing increasingly louder.
“Yes, I had dinner with him and it was a disaster, Priscilla. There’s a reason why men like him don’t date women like me. It’s like, now, I know what it means when people say they dated up or down because I was his down. I felt like I was so out of his league. Why do I—why do single women—get this image of an ideal man engrained into their minds and when a chance arises where you can possibly have your dream man, you realize he’s unattainable or that you’re not good enough? I’m so tired of not being good enough, Priscilla.”
“Elsie, you are good enough.”
“No, I’m not, and I’ll never be. You were right about me. I am afraid to be in a relationship. I don’t know how to talk without feeling scared. I’m twenty-eight-years-old and too timid to have a real conversation with a man, so I’m done trying. What’s the point? Guess I’ll just learn how to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“Elsie, you’re not going to be alone for the rest of your life.”
“There’s somebody for everybody, Elsie,” I hear Billie say. Now, I know he’s been paying attention to Priscilla’s conversation.
“Yeah,” Priscilla adds. “There’s somebody for everybody. This was just a hiccup.”
“No. A hiccup is when you’re dating a guy in college and he breaks up with you because you’re boring. This is real life, Priscilla, and maybe you can’t understand what I’m going through because you have it all together. So, you know what? Don’t worry about it. I just needed to vent. I’m going to go now.”
“Wait, Elsie—”
“Goodnight, Priscilla,” I tell her before hanging up. She attempts to call me back but I don’t have the strength to talk to her. I fall back on the bed instead and stare up at the ceiling, agonizing over my missed opportunity with Trevor, asking myself why I’m so odd and why I can’t be Ms. It, but I know the answer to that. It’s what happens when you were raised to be scared of everything. To fear the unknown instead of looking forward to it with excitement and optimism.
I close my eyes and I see him as I always do, only this time, the man of my dreams has a name now.
Trevor.
I try to block him out, especially since I’m certain he’s unattainable. When I know I messed up the small, slither-of-a-chance I had with him. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. That’s what they say and that truth rings loud and clear to me now.
I blow a breath of agony. “Oh, well, Elsie, let it go. Put on your big girl panties and move on with life. There will be other Trevor Myersons.”
No. No, there won’t be. Who am I kidding? Trevor was ‘that’ guy. There was no way I’d ever run into another man who was as handsome and as charming as him.
A girl could only dream…
Chapter 8
Trevor
“What’s it looking like, Trevor?” Reid asked stepping into the front door of Trevor’s office. “Or should I say, what’s she looking like?”
Trevor cracked a cool smile. Already knowing what he was referring to, Trevor said, “She’s okay. I saw her at Baconville, but didn’t get a chance to ask her out on a date.”
“Was that because you didn’t find her attractive, or—?”
He shook his head, not understanding Reid’s obsession with Elsie’s level of attractiveness. Still, he answered, “She’s very much attractive in her own way.”
“How so?”
“She’s very simple-looking. Plain, in a refreshing way. She wears glasses, dresses very conservative. Nothing about her is gaudy or flashy.”
“I knew it! She’s ugly.”
“No, she’s not ugly, Reid. Stop saying that man.”
“What? It’s not like you’re going to see her again.”
“Actually, I did see her again.”
Reid’s forehead puckered. “Where? Why?”
Trevor glanced at his phone then looked at Reid. “The deal I made with her friend was that I would ask her out. Since I didn’t get to do that at Baconville over the weekend, I asked her out yesterday when I saw her leave her job.”
“You know where she works?”
“I do. Her friend told me. So, I asked her out, and sure enough, she said no, just like her friend said she would.”
“I know you were relieved.”
“I wasn’t. I was a little bothered about it.”
“Don’t tell me your ego took a blow.”
“No. Not at all. I was upset that her friend knew she would say no—that this woman who can admit to her friend that I’m the man of her dreams, can turn me down when I knew she didn’t want to. I could feel it. So, I asked her again. She hesitated, so I took her by the hand, and pretty much made her have dinner with me. Well, I didn’t make her, but I convinced her. That’s a better way of putting it.”
Reid scratched his head. “Why would you do that, man? You were free and clear. All you had to do was let Priscilla know you asked her out and she said no then the job is as good as yours. Am I right, or do I have the story mixed up?”
“No, you’re right. You’re one-hundred percent correct.”
“Then why would you convince her to go out with you?”
“Because, I—” Trevor smiled. “I think she’s interesting.”
“Oh,” Reid said, sitting up tall. “Do you really?”
“Yes, I do. I had dinner with her and she’s not as bad as Priscilla described her. She just needs a little coaching.”
“And between moving and getting this new consultant job, you have all the time in the world to coach shy broads.”
Trevor chuckled just slightly. “No, I don’t but I could make time for her here and there.”
“So, you’re going to see her again?”
Trevor shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind seeing her again, although I’m not sure if she can handle it.”
“What does her friend have to say about all of this?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard from Priscilla yet, so I imagine Elsie hasn’t told her about the date.”
Just as he spoke the words, his phone rang. He looked at the display and said, “What do you know…it’s Priscilla.”
“Looks like Elsie told her after all,” Reid said.
“She probably did. Whatever the case, I’m not answering this call right now. Priscilla is not the easiest woman to talk to. I swear I don’t know how she and Elsie are best friends.”
“How was Elsie on the date?”
“I’m not gon’ lie…it was probably one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on in my life.”
Reid shook his head.
“But like I said, she needs some coaching. She’s like a grown woman who’s trapped, struggling to be released from the wall she’s built around herself when she’s so anxious to live. I can feel that when I’m with her.”
“Well, take some advice from a man who’s dated some shy chicks—run. They’re super clingy and dependent on you for all their emotional needs. Who has time for that?”
Trevor stood up from his desk and took a file from the top drawer of a file cabinet. “FYI, I’m taking a few weeks off to move, during which time I have to squeeze in some time to go visit my mother, who’s been begging me to bring Rachel, by the way.”
“You still haven’t told her about Rachel?” he questioned.
“Nope. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She already thinks I’m going to die alone. If she
knew me and Rachel split, she’d have a heart attack. No exaggeration. I’m still not sure how to break it to her.”
“C’mon, man. Your mother’s a reasonable woman. She would understand a break-up. It happens.”
“Yeah, but then that leaves me to have to explain why Rachel left—something I can’t do because I don’t know why she left. How am I supposed to explain it to someone else when I don’t know?”
“Just say she ran off with another man.”
“I don’t know if that’s really what happened, so I won’t say it.”
“But you said you saw Rachel with another man after y’all broke up.”
“I did, but that doesn’t mean—”
“Sometimes, things are how they appear, Trevor.”
“I know,” Trevor replied, dejected. “I never gave her a reason to leave me. The crazy thing is, I never wanted to get married. Never gave marriage a second thought until I met her.”
Reid frowned, feeling his friend’s pain. “The fact that you’re upset about this after a year has gone by says to me that maybe you should seek the answers you need.”
“I don’t need answers.”
“You need something,” Reid tossed back. “Look man, don’t keep putting it off if you need closure. And you’re too straightforward of a guy to be hiding this from your mother. That’s not even like you.”
“I’m aware of the kind of man I am. I’m also a man who loves his mother dearly. I don’t want to upset her.”
Reid stood up and said, “Then, I’m sure you know what to do. I’m out. I’ll holla at you.”
“Yep.” Trevor shut down his laptop soon after Reid left then put it in his laptop bag. He looked around at his small office thinking that it should have been much bigger by now. For a few years, he felt stuck in his business. Granted, he made a good income – enough money for him to live comfortably, afford to buy a home and a nice car. But life was all about growth and moving on and upward to bigger and better things. It was hard to move when you were stuck. That’s why he hoped Priscilla came through with her part of their deal.
Walking to his car, he dialed her number.
She answered, “Well, well, well, if it ain’t the deal breaker, or should I say heartbreaker?”
“You must be mistaking me for someone else.”
“Nope. I’m talking to you, Trevor Myerson. I heard about the lil’ stunt you pulled last night. That wasn’t a part of the deal.”
“The deal was that I ask your friend out on a date. I did that.”
“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to actually take her out.”
“Why not? Because you said so?” He smirked.
“I—”
“I don’t recall there being any rules other than me actually asking her out,” Trevor interrupted her to say. “I did that. I asked her out. She said no like you said she would, and I convinced her to come out with me, anyway, and she did. I don’t think a twenty-eight-year-old woman needs permission to do anything, Priscilla.”
Priscilla huffed. “You don’t know what you’re doing, okay. Elsie is not like all the other women you’re used to.”
“All the other women? What kind of guy do you take me for?”
“That’s the problem. I don’t know what kind of guy you are. As far as I know, you could be a womanizing freak. Elsie doesn’t need no drama.”
Trevor chuckled slightly. Unbelievable. “Now, that I’ve taken your friend on an actual date, you question my character, when, before, you were all too eager to get me to ask her out. Not once did you ask me about my background. You probably didn’t even Google me. So, chill with the act of concern, Priscilla.”
“I will not! She’s my friend and I did not ask you to take her out. Now, she’s all depressed thanks to you!”
“What?”
“You heard me. She thought you were genuinely interested in her—that your date was more than what it was. She actually said she should’ve known she wasn’t good enough for you. You were right about one thing, Trevor—I shouldn’t have done this. Now, I’m in damage control mode. So, do me a favor—leave her alone. I’ll talk to my husband about the position. He’ll be in touch in a few days.”
“Alright. Got it. Bye,” he said, ending the call. While he should’ve been elated that this new job was pretty much his, all he could think about when he got off the phone was Elsie. What had he done to her? He thought they had an okay dinner. If she’d opened up more, it would’ve been better, but he had to work with what he had. Still, that was no reason for her to be depressed. He didn’t mind seeing her again. Hanging out with her. Helping her come out of her shell. He’d considered it, although today he was focused on closing down the office early and going home to do more packing. But he wasn’t done with Elsie Evans no matter what her pushy and insensitive best friend had to say. If he wanted to see her again, he would and there was nothing Priscilla could do about it.
Chapter 9
Elsie
“I don’t know why I ordered this salad. I’m not even in the mood to eat,” I tell Priscilla as I hang my head in anguish. I feel like crap today, like I’m on the verge of getting my period. That certainly doesn’t help my mood.
“Eat, girl. It’ll help you feel better,” Priscilla says.
“I doubt it.” I sit up straight and hide the agony on my face with my hands. Priscilla’s hands lock around my wrists as she attempts to console me. “Oh, come on, Elsie. It’s not that bad. Stop torturing yourself.”
“But it was bad, Priscilla,” I say, remembering how I kept my coat on in the restaurant last night. “And the sad part is, if I had a chance for a do-over, which I know will never happen, I wouldn’t be any more relaxed. I’m horrible at this. I don’t know what came over me that made me think I could actually try. What was I thinking?” I take a sip of this syrupy-sweet pink lemonade and drift away with sugar.
“There will be other opportunities.”
“For me to make a fool of myself? Yes. There will be plenty of opportunities for me to do that.”
She laughs off my negativity. “I promise this is just a bump in the road that you can use as a wake up call, Elsie.”
“How?” I ask, raking through my salad, looking for cucumbers and egg pieces.
“It’s a lesson. We live and learn. For the longest, you’ve been telling me you didn’t talk to guys or wasn’t dating because you hadn’t met the man of your dreams. Well, you met him, and it wasn’t quite what you expected. Does that mean you give up on finding Mr. Right? No, baby doll. You just need to dust off your—”
She looks down at my feet and chuckles while asking, “When did you start wearing Reeboks with pantyhose?”
“Since they have me delivering packages on two floors now. When I get to work, I take off my heels and put these on.”
“And you forgot to switch back to the heels before you came to lunch apparently.”
“Priscilla, I don’t care about my shoes. Nobody’s looking at me besides you? Nobody.”
I angrily crunch down more salad and croutons, then glance around this familiar restaurant where I’ve met Priscilla for lunch many times. I see people I’ve seen before but don’t know laughing it up, talking business, going about their lives. And then there’s me…
“Hey, you wanna split a slice of strawberry cheesecake?”
“No. I can’t even finish this salad.” I drop my fork and massage my temples while Priscilla pants on and on about how I shouldn’t give up – sounds like she’s reading a bunch of inspirational memes and not really giving me honest hearted, girlfriend-to-girlfriend advice, or words of encouragement. The lack of empathy in her tone makes me feel like I’m doomed. If my best friend doesn’t believe in me enough to truly care about my plight, then who does?
I zone out by staring out the window watching the passersby. I have a direct line of sight to my building across the street. My eyes open wider when I see Trevor walk out of the rotating doors, putting on gloves. He walks to a black Range Rover tha
t’s parked on the street with the hazard lights blinking, then drives off. I close my eyes and shake my head. I feel like I just witnessed a mirage. Was that really him and if so, what was he doing at my building?
I look at Priscilla and notice she’s murdering a piece of cheesecake. I didn’t even see the waitress bring it over.
“Gosh, I could use a drink,” I say.
Priscilla laughs like a hyena. Must be something she picked up from Billie. “It’s one o’clock, girl. Nobody gets throwed this early.”
“Who said anything about getting throwed? I just want one drink. One.” Since I’m already seeing things, I may as well add alcohol to the equation.
“This from the girl who gets tipsy off of dried raisins.”
“Funny,” I say. I don’t feel like it, but I laugh at her and myself. I can’t remember the last time I had a drink. I didn’t even touch the wine Trevor ordered for me last night.
“Hey, why don’t you come by the house tonight? You know Billie makes a good cocktail.”
“I appreciate the invite, but no, thank you. I’ve had one wacked-out night this week. I’m not trying for a second.”
“Then I’ll make it easy and come over to your place with the booze. We’re due for a girl’s night in.”
“No, I’m good. I appreciate it, though.” I dab my mouth with a napkin then take another sip of pink lemonade. “I gotta get back before they come looking for me.”
“I better go, too. I have more errands to run before Billie gets off work.”
“You got the check, right?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I got it,” Priscilla answers.
I lean down to give her a half hug then head out the restaurant.
* * *
I’m cautious as I cross the street. My eyes are peeled for a black Range Rover or any signs of Trevor. I’m almost certain that was him at my building, but why? I suppose he could’ve been there on business. After all, he’d told me he had a meeting there before. His visit to Uptown Place Business Pavilion probably had nothing to do with me. Why would it?
