by Cat Mann
Chapter 7
Fight
The sound came first – loud roaring powerful waves pummeled the earth with anger, wind whistled and pierced my ears on its journey to carve through the tall cliffs. The feeling came second, cool sea-spray hissed and misted my face and a fear, a gut-wrenching, deep-belly, run-for-my-life panic consumed me. Blood pooled behind my ears and my heart hammered with each step I was forced to take. Rocks crunched under my shoes and loose pebbles crumbled down the narrow ledge to the rocky shoreline hundreds of feet below. A fall from this height would kill me and if by some chance I were to make it into the water without hitting the jagged serrated rocks jutting out from the sea like harpoons, the rip current would wrap around my ankles and drag me under and I would never break through to the surface again. Looking ahead, though, I saw images of a future I would rather die than live through, and so I sucked in my final living breath, filled my mind with images of her and I jumped. My fate would be the water, not the rocks.
My body jerked violently awake. I gasped and struggled for breath. I was completely drenched in cold sweat, my body was clenched tight and every muscle strained and pleaded for oxygen.
“Holy shit. Ava … Ava!” Nothing. No sweet body pinning me down and nestling into my chest. No half-pout and melting eyes turned to me. Feeling around on the shapeless pile of pillows and blankets next to me, I found nothing. She was gone.
Exhaustion blurred my eyes and my hazy, unfocused vision took in grey muted light from the window and told me dawn was here.
“Ava?” I called out to her, but got no response. My fingers fumbled around searching the nightstand for my cell phone. They hit the lamp and it tottered for moment before settling back in place and still I came back empty handed. My mouth was dry and my tongue felt like rough sandpaper. I moaned and rolled my face into the pillow while my hand kept up its blind search for my watch. Still nothing.
“Come on,” I groaned, complaining apparently to no one. Finally, my fingers traced the outline of my glasses. I stretched to grab them and then sat up. A light from the bathroom was on and I got up and knocked on the door.
“Ava? Baby, I had a … Christ, it was a nightmare. Anyway, it scared the shit out of me. Come back to bed. I need you.”
Nothing.
“Ave?”
I pushed the door open to find that she wasn’t there, sighed and began my search for her. Max was in his bed, still asleep, the office was empty and so was the nursery room and hall bath. The living room down below was quiet. I walked down the steps to the kitchen – she wasn’t there. She wasn’t in the laundry room or on the sun porch or by the deck either. I found her car in the garage. Back in the house, I rounded the kitchen again and I focused on the countertop and on a torn piece of notebook paper with Ava’s girly scrawl dotted across the page.
“Off for a morning run. See you soon! XO.”
“God damn it!” My molars crunched behind my ears.
Dashing back to the bedroom, I tossed open the closet doors to find that her running shoes were gone. A quick yank to the top drawer in her bedside table showed her ear buds were gone too and so was her cell. She was alone on the beach and I was blindsided by my anger with her. Memories of the week she had been missing the summer before flooded my mind and I stormed and paced the hall and waited for her to come home.
The door opened and then closed again.
“Hey!” Ava called out to me and walked to the sink to chug a tall glass of water. Beads of sweat ran down her neck and her face was nearly red from the heat. She beamed at me with a bright, happy smile.
“Were you on the beach?” I snapped. I didn’t need an answer. I knew she had run on the beach.
Her smile faltered a touch. “Yeah. I thought I should get a run in after my pig-out yesterday.”
“I thought I told you not to do that anymore.”
She blinked at me.
“Running. The Beach. Alone. Damn it Ava, don’t do it again. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“It was just a quickie – no big deal.”
“It is a big deal. You can't do that crap! God, something could happen to you. I can't live through that again. Do you have any idea the hell I went through last year? Huh? Do you?!”
“Yes. I'm sure it was torture for you.”
Her words hit me hard. Of course I had been beside myself with worry about her when she was taken hostage, but my pain had been nothing compared to the ordeal that she narrowly lived through. Her scars are an everyday reminder that she is and will always be stronger than I could ever dream of being.
“Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” I softened.
“Forget it.” She went to push past me and I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her.
“Ava … I’m an idiot. I worry so much about you – you know that. If I lose you, I die.”
“It’s just running, Ari.” She tried to push past me again.
“If you want to run, call my mom, she’ll be happy to go to the gym with you. They have security there, you know? If you want to do a beach run, Rory is free on Wednesday evenings, you can schedule something with him.”
“Lucky me.” Ava ran her fingers through her ponytail and a gleam of sunlight hit my watch face and glinted in my eyes. She was wearing my watch. It wasn’t just any watch, it was all that was left of someone very special to me. It was mine.
I locked my hand around her wrist. “Why are you wearing my watch?” I was pissed again.
“Mine broke.”
I moved her arm around exposing her tattooed wrist and began to unclasp the worn leather band. “I see. Well, this one is mine.”
“I was just borrowing it for the run. I didn’t think you would mind.”
“You were very wrong.”
Her eyes narrowed and her lips tightened in a frown.
I pointed to her clothes. “You wear my shirts,” I tugged at the hem of my boxer shorts that she was wearing, “you wear my underwear. You steal my blankets and hog my pillows.” Her frown turned into an angry scowl. “You eat the food off my plate and drink the last sip of every drink I pour for myself. You came into my life and took over every little thing that’s mine. Could you just leave the stupid watch alone?”
“Fine.” Her eyes were moist.
Slipping the worn band off her wrist, I began to tighten it in place around my own. “No running alone anymore, period. It isn’t safe. We won’t have this conversation again.” I told her sternly, and she found a way to brush past me, leave the kitchen and run up the stairs. The bedroom door shut quickly behind her.
“Crap.” Looking down at my watch, I saw that I was late for work – big surprise. I followed Ava into the bedroom and as soon as I opened the door, she tossed my cell phone at me. Only then did I remember that she had had it stowed away all weekend.
“I forgot to charge it.” Her tone was very clipped and unhappy. She walked away towards the bathroom, shoulders tense and straight and unyielding, and I followed her again.
“I’ll charge it when I get to work. I have to go … I love you.”
“I don’t care when you charge it.” She turned on the shower.
“Can I have a kiss before I go?”
“Are you sure it’s safe?” she snapped.
“Ava,” I sighed. “Don’t be like that.”
“Bye, Ari.” She slipped into the shower without another word.
