by Cat Mann
Chapter 22
Adonis
The walk home in the sand was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Neither of us knew what to say to each other or how to act. Ava pushed ahead of me, deciding that a walk alone was far better than a walk beside me. The strain between us was thick and palpable. It was difficult for me to take in the smallest of breaths. In ten seconds, I would bare myself to her and she would question us, our marriage, and our love.
In the house, she turned to me. Waiting for me speak.
The weight that bore down on my chest was stifling. Blood flew through my veins and whooshed loudly in my ears.
“Okay.” A heavy breath pushed from my lungs and blew out of my tense lips. We stood on either side of the kitchen island. The hard marble counter was a visible manifestation of the invisible, icy wall that had formed between us. “Okay.”
I prepared myself for what was to come. Twisting, lurching knots churned in my queasy, hungry stomach. The caffeine buzzed around my nerves, adding more unnecessary jitters. A quick and heavy surge of adrenaline made me dizzy.
“Hear me out, okay?”
She didn’t say a thing.
“I am Ari. Uh, descendant of Adonis.” I had done this so few times in my life, that I was not sure if I could remember it all.
I caught a quick blink from Ava and then she composed herself with narrow, disbelieving eyes. She was right to doubt me, right to think I would once again just brush her off and give her no more information than she already had.
“Uh…” My hand rubbed uncomfortably at my unshaven cheek and I adjusted my weight from foot to foot. “Adonis is the god of beauty, desire and fertility. He is renewable – a life, death and rebirth deity. He belongs to women. Two women to be more precise.” I looked at her and her face gave nothing away. She didn’t say anything, so I mustered up the nerve to continue.
“Aphrodite fell in love with him. She found Adonis as a baby after his mother, Myrrha gave birth to him. Myrrha had deceived her own father and he punished her by turning her into a myrrh tree, leaving Adonis orphaned. Aphrodite became his surrogate mother and she became his lover. She cared deeply for him and took him to Hades in the Underworld to keep him safe. There he was entrusted to Persephone. Persephone is known as the maiden and as the mistress woman. She is the queen of the Underworld. Under Persephone’s eye, Adonis grew into a beautiful man. When Aphrodite returned for him, Persephone had already fallen in love and she was unwilling to return Adonis to the goddess.
“The two goddesses, Aphrodite and Persephone, began to argue over him. Their fight became so vicious that Zeus was forced to intercede. He commanded that Adonis spend one third of his year with Aphrodite, one third of his year with Persephone and the last of his year with whomever he desired. During his time on earth with Aphrodite, Persephone, crazy with jealously, tricked Adonis. On his hunting trip, she teamed with others who sought revenge on Aphrodite and sent a giant boar to attack Adonis. He died of blood loss and in death returned to the Underworld, where he would be reunited with Persephone. Aphrodite found Adonis as he lay dying and she rushed to the Underworld to retrieve him. Persephone was ready for her and once again, the two women fought. Zeus intervened the second time and finally split Adonis’ time equally between the women. He would forever be promised to the two goddesses.”
I looked up at Ava and she stared coldly back at me.
“As time went on, the ruling from Zeus evolved, until, rather than sharing his time with the goddesses year by year, the descendants of Adonis would share lifetimes with Persephone and Aphrodite.
The corners of Ava’s eyes scrunched as she tried to understand what I meant.
“Uh…” I thought of a way to make things easier for her. “It used to be that Adonis would spend his lifetime with Aphrodite and then the next descendant of Adonis would be indebted to spend his lifetime with Persephone and so on, back and forth…”
“Your father is spending his life with your mother, who is descended from Aphrodite…” Ava finally said something. “So … you are promised to another woman. Ari, you are promised to Persephone.”
“Yes.”
A puff of air brushed passed Ava’s lips, her shoulders slouched, her eyes turned glassy and wet. “How could you?”
“I mean, no!” I nearly shouted. “No. Well, I mean yes, but … there is no Persephone. At least not anymore. The bloodline is gone. She can’t come to claim me if she doesn’t exist.”
“What if you're wrong?”
“I’m not. There hasn’t been a descendant of Persephone in a hundred years … maybe longer. I am free.”
“What if you're wrong?”
“I’m not.”
“Ari, what if you are? What if, tomorrow, our doorbell rings and she is here for you, your Persephone? What will you do?”
“I will do nothing. I will tell her that I am sorry that I do not love her and that I never will. I will tell her I love my wife and nothing anyone does can change the way I feel.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Ari! You've told me yourself that I cannot ignore my duties as a Fate and just run away from who I am! You can’t say you don’t feel like being a descendant. You don’t get to decide that!”
“Sure I can.”
“Really!” Ava’s fists clenched into angry balls. “Do you think I want to be like this?” She yelled at me. “Do you think that when I fall asleep at night, I can just tell those people in my dreams, the ones who scream at me, the ones in pain and dying, that I am sorry but I don’t want to be a Fate? Do you think that when the Kakos came for me, time and time and time again, that I could just stop them by telling them that I had decided to just be a regular person? Huh?” She yelled. “It doesn’t work that way, Ari!” Ava shoved her scarred and tattooed wrist into my face. “I didn’t get a choice. Max doesn’t have a choice. This baby does not get a choice and neither do you! You are not above this, you are indebted to your role just as the rest of us are. You don’t get to hide. You don’t get to decide. Now, what if she comes for you? You started a life with me, with our son, with the baby we are having and now you tell me that you are promised to another woman. How could you?”
“It’s not like that. There is no Persephone. Who I am does not matter anymore.”
“How can you know for sure?”
“She’s just gone. She has disappeared, as so many of the others have. Our kind? Fewer and fewer of us have enough of the bloodline in us to make us true descendants. If, by some strange happenstance there is someone out there who has enough of Persephone’s bloodline in her to be the goddess, chances are slim to none that that person would even know who they are … it is essentially impossible. Look at you. You are above us all, yet you had no clue you were a Fate until you met me. If Persephone is out there, someone would have to find her, tell her who she is and then she would have to want me … she would have to claim me. It just … is not going to happen, Ava. It cannot. There is no Persephone.”
“And then what happens when she claims you?” She pressed, refusing to take no for an answer.
“Ava, I love you. No one is going to show up looking for me, but if Persephone does, she cannot have me. I am taken. You have claimed me. No one can make me leave you and our family.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Ari.” Ava’s face fell with sadness and frustration. She started to cry and I rushed to her side, my hand cupped her face.
“Yes, it does. I promise, Ava. I promise. I promise you that I love you. Only you. Always. There is nothing in the world that can change my mind. There is nothing in the universe that can make me stop loving you. I promise.”
“But…”
“Ava, I promise.” I held her face to keep her from looking away from me. I stared in to her eyes. “I promise. I love you. It will always be you. Only you.”
My mouth pushed into hers and she kissed me back. She ran her fingers through my knotted
, dirty hair, raking the fallen strands out of my eyes. The feeling of having Ava in my arms was electric. I had been craving her touch, her taste and her smell.
“I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to worry. You know how that feels and I was wrong to question your loyalty. I don’t want you to dwell on something that will never happen,” I said in her ear and then pulled back to look at her. “I promise, who I am does not matter.”
Ava chewed at her bottom lip and gave a small nod. “You are mine.”
“I’m all yours.”
