Man. Why did girls do that? What the fuck? Why anyone would want to screw a rock star with the reputations that fly around about us is beyond me. At first, when I hit it big I was like a kid in a candy store, trying everyone, not knowing which type of girl to go for next.
Nowadays sex only happened if I was in a good mood, there was good conversation, the sexual chemistry was there between us, and I’d had a fair amount to drink. Drinking made me feel horny so I tried not to do much of that either since I realized that.
I wasn’t proud of the girls I’d been with, and although it was just physical, I always tried to be honest and they knew up front that there was never going to be anything more than that moment with me.
So that was why I was really thankful to Toby’s PA for her fuck- up. Looking at the number I kept calling, I admitted to myself I’d been doing on purpose since after the first time.
Chloe was a girl I knew nothing about, but she had become a welcome distraction from the crazy life I led every day. I had no idea what it was about her or what she looked like, or what her life was like. She just sounded an upbeat girl with a great personality. Suddenly I wondered if she had a partner. I hoped not, because I hadn’t wanted to create drama by calling her.
Somehow I figured she must have been involved with someone, a girl like her. I then thought I should have been more thoughtful about that, asking personal questions. It had never occurred to me that her partner may be around. Hell, maybe she was married. I needed to ask her those questions. I knew I couldn’t go around hijacking someone else’s relationship because I didn’t have one.
What the hell was I thinking? I needed to be more careful. It was a fucking wrong number. Yet, there I was deliberately calling her. Hooked. Then I decided I definitely needed a break when was thinking about someone I knew nothing about and have called by accident. Thing was, she was a smidge of normality, a tiny strand tied into a normal existence I knew nothing about.
When I mentioned Chloe to Toby, he thought it was hysterical. The thought of someone else continually getting his calls really appealed to him. “Poor woman,” he groaned before laughing his ass off. Toby hated his phone because it never stopped ringing.
He stupidly kept the same number for years on his phone and constantly complained about old friends who suddenly were down on their luck and looking for a handout. I’d been telling him to get a set up like mine.
Everyone rang Charlotte, my PA, and the cell I have, I use to call out on. It’s blocked from accepting incoming calls unless I punch that particular number into an accepted callers list, but I can get text messages on it. Besides only a very few have the number for me.
Actually, there are eleven now; if I include Chloe.
Chloe’s the first normal ‘non friend’ person I had spoken to on the phone in years. She had no idea who I was or what I was, and that fact drew to me to her, like a camel to water. Talking to her gave me a few moments of escapism from my mad world.
Calling Toby after talking to Chloe, I tried to sound upbeat. “Hey, dude, wazzup?” Toby sounded upbeat as usual. No idea where he got his energy levels from.
“Just calling to tell you we’re definitely going to be in LA next week.”
Toby’s voice came back rushed and animated, “Great, I can’t wait to see you, bro. Are you staying here? How long do you have?”
I smiled because I couldn’t wait to see him. “Gig Friday, then two nights and we’re off to Rio on Monday.” Walking across the room, I lifted my iPad off the chair and sat down and leaned back into it.
“Fucking, Ace! We’re here until Friday so we’re definitely partying when you get here.”
I grinned widely and felt pretty stoked about that because Toby Francis and I only saw each other a few times a year due to our crazy schedules. We hadn’t seen each other since last February and it was April by then. Fourteen months since the last time and it was the longest time apart we’d ever had.
We spoke on the phone almost daily, or tried to, depending on the time zones we were in. If we hadn’t talked we emailed. In this business, the normal and mundane things such as, talking to your friends was so damned important.
What are the chances of two kids from the same town, who are best friends, becoming worldwide rock stars for different bands? It must be a wild number, but it happened to us. Toby and I had kept each other sane through everything. It could be so easy to lose touch with reality in this game, with people wanting to kiss our asses, or ride them every minute of every day.
Toby’s lucky that he has Jill, but he not that great at staying faithful to her. She seemed to accept it as part of the deal. I couldn’t understand it at all. Toby loved her and told me the groupies were just sex, but I didn’t think I could do that to any girl if I had someone I truly loved.
I knew how I’d have felt if it were me and my partner slept around. Toby’s problem as I saw it was what made him like he was. His problem was that Jill accepted it. She was very faithful, and Toby knew she would never do that to him. It kind of made her a door mat and he didn’t respect her that much for it.
Seeing how it hurt Jill, I tried to tell him about that, but the girl was in an impossible situation with women throwing themselves at Toby. He needed to keep his dick in his pants or let Jill go. She was a fabulous girl and she deserved much better.
Soft knocking on my door preceded Charlotte poking her head into my study. “Transport’s outside, you all set?” I nodded and stood up, swiping the iPad closed and made my way to the blacked out SUV waiting in the driveway to head to the venue.
My band was already there. They were rehearsing with a new keyboard player that morning. Keyboards were a recent addition to our music, but I liked the sounds on the new album. The keyboard helped to make our sound evolve into a sound that’s more current. I played the piano but I needed someone other than me because of the composition of the stuff I was writing and with me already singing and playing guitar it was necessary to get someone full time.
I’d been on the crazy ride of fame and music for just over eight years. The whole deal used to be exciting and I felt thankful every day, that god had chosen me to give pleasure to people, through music. After all this time though, my thoughts about that were a little bit jaded.
I still loved to make music and perform, but I hated the world that went with it, the travelling, the creepy people I had to meet, the ass kissing that went on with the business, and most of all, the expectations of people when they made demands on me and my personal time.
When I walked into the hall and heard the music that I wrote playing loudly, the sound reverberating throughout the auditorium, it immediately made me buzz. The lyrics immediately sprang to mind and I automatically started to mutter them to myself. Singing is second nature to me and I was so conditioned that I sometimes went to automatic pilot. I’ve even done it in stores when I’ve heard the intro to one of my songs.
My band is a bit different from Toby’s, because in his group ‘Gametes’, everyone was famous. In mine, the band was more of a backing band with me as the main man. I’d written all the lyrics and most of the music. Occasionally, some clever guitar riffs came from Mick, but Lennox the drummer was an incredible percussionist.
Like I said before, Lennox is like a brother and he was a bit of a player as well. He was mainly responsible for me having a sex life at all lately. He’s the hard party animal in the band, that invariably dragged me along with him, sometimes to parties we weren’t even invited to. It was usually because he was chasing some piece of ass at the time.
We ran through the set and discussed the changes, and I went into the dressing room to chat privately with Lennox. I needed a break from the heavy schedule we had been punishing ourselves with over the past two years.
Two hundred and eighty nine days on the road in the last year with no let up. Charlotte interrupted us five times during our chat with various management executive demands. There were also pictures, CD covers and programs to sign.
/> By the time we were due to perform, I’d spoken to more people I’d never met in my life before, than anyone I knew. I’d been slapped on the back and had my hand shaken so much, it was a wonder I was still standing. It was actually a wonder I could still play my guitar my hand was so tired.
Walking towards the stage, I stared at one of the roadies, who was playing air guitar to the cover being played by our opening band who were just finishing, “I bet you look good on the dance floor” by Artic Monkeys.
When he saw me he looked embarrassed at being caught. Smirking, I nodded. “Keep it up, if Mick’s ever sick, I’ll bear you in mind as his understudy.” Winking at him, he relaxed and grinned sheepishly at me.
Seconds before we started our set, I stared over at Lennox and Simon, M3rCy’s drummer and bass player, and briefly wished I was one of them. They got to make music and were largely left alone. They didn’t have to give a shit about all the stuff that went with it. I thought maybe once I’d had a break from the whole crazy lifestyle I’d get my mojo back.
As soon I walked on stage though, the funk I was in disappeared. That was where I felt most at home, completely relaxed and confident. It didn’t matter that there were twenty thousand people out there in front of me. They had come because they liked what I did, so there was no stress involved, I could do my job and make them happy, and then hopefully I could leave and go where I lay my head for the night.
Going to my own space straight after a gig is wishful thinking on my part. There are always prize winners and suits to please, and I am smart enough to know that if I want to keep doing this, I have to give them their pound of flesh. I don’t mind the meet and greet and the fans. These people are the reason I’m doing what I do, so I smile and stay charming until the last fan disappears, and afterwards, I can be myself.
After years of these sessions, TV and radio interviews, along with music magazine exclusives, there was only maybe one or two original questions a year for me to answer. The rest are the usual ones about who a particular song is about, and what was I thinking when I wrote it.
I also felt sorry for the fans that were so excited to meet me they passed right out in front of me. I could never imagine another human being that I’d never met having that kind of effect on me. I like their enthusiasm for the work I do though and it gives me pleasure to know that one of my songs somehow brightened their day.
By the time I had got back to the hotel it was 3am and I was exhausted and feeling my world was upside down and I was nearing a crossroads with all this, because the highlight of anyone’s life would be to do what I did a couple of hours ago with everyone screaming their name. Yet for me, it was when I dialed a wrong number, heard Chloe’s laugh, but most of all, when she hung up on me.
I stepped into the shower. I’d turned on the faucet and then went back to my bedroom to put my cell on the nightstand, by the time I went back to the bathroom it was thick with steam. Steam is great for my vocal cords so I breathed in deeply with my back to the showerhead.
My shoulders were taking the strong force of the spray and it felt incredible. The water’s force was like small needles pricking into my skin as the jets beat down on me. Rivulets of water ran down my body, carrying the sweat from my work and washing it away. I should have been at another after- party, but that night I had told them I felt sick.
Hearing my cell ring, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped it around my waist before padding back to the room but I missed the call. When I saw it was Toby I called him back.
Toby answered and the noise of the madhouse he lived in, which was always full of people was immediately apparent. It struck me how differently we viewed things. Maybe once in a while I’d have the band over and a few other friends that were in the town we were in, to party a little.
Not Toby, he was ready to party from the minute his eyes opened in the morning and I was more of a ‘night spent with close friends’ kind of guy.
I’m not saying I’m downbeat by any stretch of the imagination, I just prefer things low key. I do know how to party, but I just feel that doing it every day takes the shine out of it. So, I prefer to do it in moderation, rather than party hard like Toby does.
We talked for about fifteen minutes, arranging our time together in more detail, catching up with family stuff and shared anecdotes of our tours. I was definitely looking forward to seeing him again. Toby had managed to wrangle a clear day for us both to surf and do water sports and I couldn’t wait to do that with him.
I got into bed and lay with my arms behind my head staring at the ceiling. My mind drifted and I wondered what I might be doing in five years, because if I was still living at the crazy pace I was at, then maybe it would be time for a career change. I’d be almost thirty years old then, and I definitely didn’t want to be living out of a suitcase.
People looking in on my life must have thought I had it all, but I really didn’t. Sure I had money and fame and the excess that brings if I chose to go down that route, but at times it was a soul destroying and extremely lonely life being surrounded by strangers.
No one ever asked me how I was feeling or what I really thought. Everything was at a superficial level or about business decisions. That was probably because I was surrounded by people that made a living out of me making a living. Turning on my side, I punched my pillow and exhaled deeply and hoped I felt better about things again soon.
CHAPTER 13 – DINNER
Chloe
After five days in New York I had begun to a feel a small glimmer of my old personality coming back. I was a long way from the girl I was in college, and still jumped at the sound of a raised voice, but with each day I was becoming stronger.
For the first few days in New York, flashbacks of things that had happened with Kace played over and over in my mind. It didn’t take much to trigger them… a smell a sound nothing and everything brought back those memories and I was sure that some of those memories would never leave me.
Then I had started to wonder how he had reacted when he realized I was gone? What was he telling people about me? Dad told me not to give it a second thought. He said if Kace even tried to ruin my reputation there, he’d find a way of dealing with that.
Meeting Ruby later that day had been on my mind and I wondered exactly how much to tell her about what had been happening to me.
All she knew was that she couldn’t tell Kace where I was and she had promised not to say to him that I’d been in touch with her until I had explained. Ruby had warned me, “It had better be good.” She was loyal to Kace and had been friends with him since they were kids.
With each day that had passed, I was gaining a little more confidence and I just had to keep telling myself that not all men were abusive. Stabbing my spoon into the cereal bowl, I was lost in thought, when my cell began to ring and brought me out of my daydream.
A smile played on my lips when I saw it was Paul. “Hey, isn’t this becoming bit of a habit?”
Paul snickered down the line at me. “Well, good morning, Chloe, is that a good thing…this...habit? I’m told I’m like Krispy Kreme donuts; no one can ever get enough of me.”
Surprised by his response, I felt warm inside. It was totally unexpected. After a short pause Paul continued to talk. “I felt I should call you to say hi because I kind of ran out on you yesterday. You’ve been really gracious with me when I’ve tried to talk to Toby. And you called me Paul, so that makes us friends right? Besides, if I call you, I know you’ll insult me, and that’s just how I like it.”
Smiling widely, I chuckled softly, “You like it? So, you’re a sadist then? Another piece of the puzzle just slotted right in.” Paul laughed, but stopped abruptly.
“What’s that you’re listening to?” I had my favorite band’s song playing on my tablet on the desk beside me.
“Well, it’s my favorite album, ‘Crushed Dreams,’ by M3rCy, Do you know it? This track “Inches from Paradise” …I hesitated then thought, no I’m just going to say it out loud, “It
got me through some pretty tough times in the past.”
There was silence at the other end. “Paul? Are you still there?” I thought I heard him work a swallow, and then his voice came back low and soft.
“Yeah. Sorry I was distracted there for a second. So you like Gibson Barclay?”
Snickering, I knew exactly what he was thinking --what most men thought about women who liked Gibson Barclay. No doubt about it, Gibson was the sexiest man on the planet and I bet there were only the odd few women in the world that hadn’t fantasized about him.
“You think I’m just another swooning girl with a crush on a hot looking rock star, right? Not the case. I’ve kind of followed his music since I heard him in a bar when I was in college at UCLA. He used to play a regular spot at the bar I worked in, and I got to like the band. Don’t get me wrong, I love his music, but I dislike the man-whore ways of Gibson Barclay. And let me tell you, all those stories out there are true. He was like that before he was famous.”
Paul coughed, then chuckled and he must have been bored with me talking about Gibson because he concluded the call shortly after I said that. “Sorry, multitasking here, Chloe. I’m getting ready to go to a meeting.” Immediately, I felt stupid, wittering on about my taste in music and holding him up.
“Sorry, I’m keeping you back. I got carried away. Music is one of my passions, I love singing, but I play the guitar very badly.”
“Hold that thought Chloe. I love passion,” Paul said, playfully with a smile in his voice. “Gotta go now but would you mind me calling you back later and continuing where we left off? I want to know more about your music tastes, it’s a passion of mine as well. I’d love to chat a bit longer about it with you, but I’ve got to run right now.”
Romance: Gibson's Legacy ( New Adult Contemporary Erotic Romance) (Last Score Book 1) Page 10
