by C. J. Miller
If it was a fight, he could break it up. Keeping Kit in his peripheral vision, he moved through the trees.
Kit crept closer and ignored him when he waved her off.
Another few steps and someone came into view.
Not a fight. Not a sexual assault.
A couple was having sex. Loudly. A woman was perched on the bumper of a jeep, and a man was thrusting away. Both were moaning and gasping.
Kit grasped his arm. Her face was red, either from running or from embarrassment.
Without saying a word, they returned to the main path.
“That could be us,” she said.
Griffin kept his composure. “I don’t have any interest in being an exhibitionist.”
“I didn’t mean outside. I meant the sex part.”
Having sex with Kit played on his mind, but he didn’t voice it as an option because it wasn’t. Kit didn’t have a filter on her thoughts, and she was the client. She couldn’t be fired for inappropriate actions.
After what they had done, how was sleeping with her any different? At least he cared about her, and he could make the night about her, concentrating on making it incredible for her. A first time that wouldn’t end in disappointment or disaster. If he didn’t sleep with her, she might sleep with a military man posted here or a random guy from a bar. How much satisfaction would she derive from that?
One day, she would meet a man who could appreciate how remarkable she was and who would see her intelligence and beauty and caring and want to marry her. Griffin couldn’t ask her to wait to sleep with a man who would marry her, but he could make her first time one she would not forget. She wouldn’t easily fall into bed with another man. He’d set her expectations high and show her what she was worth.
If he told her he wanted to leave the island and she still wanted to sleep with him, perhaps they would, now or never.
* * *
Stupidity wasn’t an emotion Kit was used to feeling. She grasped complex topics with ease, and she enjoyed her work.
Now something was missing. Maybe her thoughts were too scattered and her emotions shaking her up, or maybe her heart wasn’t in it this time. Headway on re-securing the Locker was slow. She hated letting someone down. Her report on her work was firmly “no progress.”
The original Locker had been designed and engineered by three different people who were experts in their respective fields of computer science. How could she fill all three of those roles now? The new members of the team were smart, but without the history, they had a lot of new skills to master.
She and Griffin had arrived in their apartment after their second day of running outside after work, and Griffin had rushed to take a shower first, leaving her pacing in sweaty clothes. He was acting strangely and, typical of Griffin, he didn’t discuss it. With the exception of the time he had told her that she was beautiful and that under other circumstances he’d want to be with her, he was frustratingly distant and confusing. He relayed nothing of his private thoughts.
He got out of the shower, and she slipped into the bathroom. The bathroom was serviceable but not luxurious. Kit was low-maintenance. Clean towels and basic soap were enough.
When she stepped out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around her hair and one around her body. Her clothes were in the bedroom. Quickly dressing, she hung her towels and joined Griffin in the main room.
She blinked at the transformation in the room. A brilliant array of orange, red, yellow, pink and blue flowers covered every space. Some were tucked in vases, some were scattered as individual flowers, and some petals were tossed across the floor.
Ivory candles lined the dresser.
A bottle of wine and two plates covered with silver domes were on the table.
Griffin was wearing a tuxedo, and her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen him looking this handsome.
The atmosphere left no question what this meant. A rectangular box tied with white ribbon sat on the coffee table.
He crossed the room to her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently. “You smell good.”
“When did you have time to do this?” she asked.
“I’ve had time while you were working,” he said.
“I feel like I’m dressed wrong.” She was wearing a blue T-shirt and navy flannel shorts because she’d thought she would eat and then go to bed.
He gestured toward the red velvet box. “Open that.”
She took the gift box and untied the ribbon, lifted the lid and moved aside the tissue paper. Inside was a pair of pink pajamas made of the softest fabric. She took them from the box and held them up. The top was strappy, trimmed with lace, and the shorts were full, like a skirt.
“Give me one minute.” She returned to the bathroom to change. She could have redressed in front of him, but given the amount of effort he had put into arranging this night, she didn’t want to rush. Getting naked in front of him would have made them both hurry to bed.
When had Griffin changed his mind about sleeping with her? How long had he been planning this?
She changed, brushed her hair again and then returned to Griffin.
He was standing at attention, waiting for her.
“You’re too dressed up.” She grabbed the sides of his coat and pulled them over his shoulders. She set the black jacket over the back of the couch.
“I thought you wanted me dressed up.”
“I like you in this. But I also like you with fewer clothes.”
“Before this goes any further, I need to tell you something.”
She waited. He had lit her on fire, and now he wanted to talk? “Tell me.”
“I may be transferred to another mission.”
The words hit her heavy on the shoulders. “You’re leaving me.”
“Nothing has been decided, but I need you to know that before this goes any further.”
Their relationship had an expiration date. She could live with that. What she couldn’t live with was the regret she’d harbor if he left and she had never been with him. She would wonder and wish for the rest of her life. “I understand, and it’s okay. Come what may, I want this to happen tonight.”
She untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. “Is this okay?”
“It’s your night. Anything you want to do is okay with me,” he said.
Anything she wanted. Where to start? She had fantasies she had never explored, role playing and old-fashioned games, but tonight she would be herself, and Griffin would be himself.
“Would you like music?” he asked.
She nodded, and he withdrew a remote from his pocket. He pressed a button, and the room was filled with soft, melodic music. He closed her in his arms again and spun her once, bringing her body flush to his. Her hips brushed his pelvis, and excitement shot through her.
It wasn’t the first time they had danced together, but this time, they were alone. They didn’t have the heavy pulsing of music and the grinding of bodies or the darkness of a warehouse to distract them from each other.
“I love that my body turns you on,” he said.
Was it that obvious? She loved touching the hard planes of his shoulders, chest and stomach. “I could say the same.”
He kissed her again, and his mouth conquered hers. His tongue demanded a response. The more he kissed her, the more she wanted him. She guided him toward the bed and pushed gently on his shoulders. When he was flat on his back, his feet on the floor, she climbed on top of him.
“Don’t you want to eat first?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It will wait.”
“You didn’t see what I ordered for us.”
“Nothing out there interests me more than what’s right here.”
She pressed her mouth to his and sank against him. The k
iss spun into passion, and she was overcome with emotion. He tipped his hips against hers, and she responded in kind.
The soft fabric of the pajamas he’d bought her rubbed against her skin, making her feel delicate and exquisite. His hands went to her thighs and he rubbed the backs of them, massaging the muscles.
She unfastened his pants and drew them down his legs. Button by button, she removed his shirt. He sat and took the hem of her camisole by the narrow strip of lace and pulled it over her head. He dropped it and then closed his mouth over her exposed nipple.
His hand caressed her and his mouth moved between her breasts until she was hot and achy. Shockingly sensuous feelings tumbled over her. Her head hit the pillow and she melted into the mattress. He removed the rest of her clothes.
The haze of sharp lust took over. She wanted this to last forever, yet she wanted him to hurry and give her the fulfillment she craved. Skin to skin, sensations pulsed between them.
He moved on top of her, donned a condom and then let his weight settle over her. He rocked his hips, the head of his arousal pressing at the V of her legs, but not entering her.
He reached between them and used his hands to heighten her excitement. She was ready, and she lifted her hips, encouraging him to push inside her. He pulled back. “Easy. We have all night.”
All night? Scorching desire pricked at her, and the more he touched her, the more she wanted him. She grabbed his hips and parted her thighs. “Take me or I will take you.”
His eyes burned with heat and he pushed inside her, just a little. He stretched her and he worked his hips, moving inside her, deeper and deeper. “This might hurt.”
She was ready. Hot and wet, she set her hands on his hips and drew him closer.
He surged forward, and a sharp pain shot between her legs. He stilled and she shifted, searching for a more comfortable position. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she blinked them back. One escaped and Griffin kissed it, then wiped it away with his thumb.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice tender and warm.
She nodded.
He kissed her, deep kisses, hard kisses, soft kisses, and caressed her. The pain between her legs subsided, and other needs grew more pressing. “Please, Griffin, make love with me.”
She stayed with him in the moment, watching him move, trying to remember every detail of this night so she could recall it later.
He moved languidly inside her, his strokes deep and slow. Lust wound tight inside her.
He touched her cheek, the most delicate of touches, running his hand down to her chin. “You are so beautiful.”
Holding her close, he set a hard and steady rhythm, plunging deep, making her crazier by the second. Pressure built inside her.
She dug her fingers into his shoulders, holding on, anchoring herself. She was lost to Griffin. Her body, her heart, her everything. She had been on the edge of loving him and now, with the unspeakable perfection of this act, she knew. No going back, not for her heart. She had fallen in love with him.
She held his hips, stilling him inside her. More than she wanted to finish, she wanted to talk.
“What’s the matter? Are you hurt?” he asked. A sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, and she knew he must be exerting control to remain unmoving.
“Not hurt. I want to look at you for a minute. I want you to tell me that this means something to you.” She needed to know. It was important to her, and he had said this night was about her.
“I thought long and hard before I took this step with you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to remember your first time and feel happiness.”
She smiled. His thoughtfulness had to be enough for now. She released his hips. He pumped into her and she wrapped her legs around him, accepting him as part of her. Griffin, the delicious scent of him, his handsome face, her love for him, were too much. They overwhelmed her, and she shattered in his arms. He rode her as her orgasms played out.
He held her tight in his arms, the weight of him pressing her into the mattress. She kissed his chest. “That was the best I’ve ever had.”
He laughed at her joke. “Can I leave you here for a minute and get you something to clean up?”
She nodded and stretched in the bed, feeling pleased with herself. When he returned with a warm washcloth, he cleaned the inside of her thighs.
He brought the food to the bed and they ate, talked and laughed. He was a friend to her, her protector and her lover. Being in love with him was a natural progression of their relationship. But he wouldn’t be part of her life long. He would be assigned to another mission, another adventure, and leave her behind.
She couldn’t talk herself out of loving him even with that realization, even though hurt waited for them at the end of their time together.
* * *
Kit could cause massive trouble by calling her sister, but she needed to talk to Marissa. Griffin would be pissed. Connor would be furious. The security of the Locker was at stake.
But even though her sister didn’t understand her, her sister understood men.
Kit didn’t have her personal cell phone—that had been taken long before—but she spoofed the call to appear from her regular number. Otherwise, her sister wouldn’t answer. Marissa received far too many solicitation calls.
“Hello?” Her sister sounded afraid.
“Don’t say my name, but it’s Kit.”
“So—” She let out her breath in a rush. “Do you know people are looking for you? Are you safe? Where are you? What’s going on?”
Guilt shot through her. “You were supposed to be told I was safe.”
She could hear her sister’s heels clicking against the floor as she paced. “Some guy with a government ID came over and told us you were safe. But he explained nothing. We asked questions and he only said it was a matter of national security. I’ve been worried. Who were those men at the party? What’s going on? Did you witness a crime? Was your boss at the florist involved in a financial scam?”
Kit didn’t have much time before someone realized she’d hacked into their communication system to call her sister. “I can’t explain everything, but I am safe.” For now. “I need your advice. I’m in love.”
Marissa gasped. “You ran away to be with a man?”
“I didn’t run away. I’ve been in protective custody, and the man assigned to protect me is really special.”
“Are you in love with your kidnapper? Do you have Stockholm syndrome?” Marissa asked.
Her sister was being melodramatic. “Again, I wasn’t kidnapped.”
“Mom will be relieved you’re okay.”
“You can’t tell Mom I called.”
Marissa shrieked. “Are you kidding? She’s having a fit about you being gone.”
Kit didn’t think her mother would have thought much of it. Her mother usually acted like she was an embarrassment to the family. “I’ll send a message through my protector to her, but I need your help. Marissa, I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Tell me what I can do. Anything.”
“How do I make a man fall in love with me?” The question was ridiculous, and Kit hated asking that way. Time restraints meant she had to be direct.
“Does he reciprocate your feelings at all?” Marissa asked.
Last night had made her wonder. Griffin had said they couldn’t sleep together, but then they had. Had he changed his mind because he had fallen for her, too? “I don’t know. I think somewhat. We have chemistry.”
“Chemistry is good, but it can change. If you want him to love you, you need to have fun with the chemistry, but also let him get to know you.”
How would that help? “He knows me pretty well. He dressed up in a costume for me.”
“Kinky. Like a sex costume?”
In a sense, yes,
but she couldn’t admit that to her sister. “As a character from a video game.”
“He didn’t run away screaming when you told him about your love of video games?” Marissa asked.
“He was into it.” At least, he hadn’t complained.
“Then maybe he’s in love, too.”
“He had to dress up.”
“I’m trying to imagine a scenario where a man is forced to dress up and I’m coming up empty, unless this was on a set. He isn’t required to do anything. If he dressed up, he wanted to for you.”
“Men don’t usually fall for me.” The incident with Swift came rushing back, and anger was the stronger emotion over embarrassment.
“You’re selling yourself short. Lots of men are interested in you. You don’t want to see it. You avoid eye contact, and you make excuses to leave conversations. I’ve been trying to tell you for years that you give these signals like you aren’t interested, so men don’t pursue you.”
She started to deny it, but shut her mouth because it was true. She hated social gatherings, and anyone who met her knew it. “He’s leaving soon. Our circumstances aren’t permanent.”
“I’ve had a lot of men love and leave me. Here’s what I’ve learned. If he leaves, then it wasn’t meant to be, and you will find someone else. But the man who’s meant to stick around and be with you won’t leave. He’ll find a way to stay regardless of what happens or what commitments he has. Of course, as I say this, I realize that no man has ever decided to stick around for me. I have hope it will happen with the right man at the right time.”
“You have men falling all over you,” Kit said.
“I have men interested in my fame and fortune. Few stick around and actually want to be with me.”
It was the first time her sister had shared an insecurity. “Should I tell him that I love him?”
“Being that direct might freak him out. Let your actions show it. Once you say those words, you can’t take them back, and if he doesn’t feel the same, it could chase him away. I’m really happy for you, Kit. I’ve been hoping that someone would get inside your walls. I can’t wait to meet this man. He must be something special.”
