Curtis drove the SUV out of our subdivision and headed toward the church. The temperature had dropped considerably over the last few days, but rightfully so since we were only days from entering October. Matthew was dressed in a navy blue cable-knit sweater and a pair of navy dress pants, and Marissa had on a hot pink corduroy jean-style jacket and skirt, all of which I’d purchased a few days ago from the Ralph Lauren outlet store. Curtis looked as sharp as always, and no matter how many years seemed to pass, he still looked as handsome as ever. He still caught the eye of most women, and no one would guess that he was forty-five. Thirty-eight or thirty-nine maybe, but definitely not a year more than that. And to top that off, he smelled good at all times. Today I wasn’t sure what he was wearing, probably something brand new, but the scent reminded me of musk and some sweet aroma I couldn’t think of at the moment. Then there was his perfect skin and perfectly cut hair—all reasons why I knew there had to be loads of women in every city throwing them selves at him.
“Daddy, when can we see Uncle Larry again?” Marissa asked, and I looked over at Curtis.
“I know you won’t understand what I’m about to say because he seemed so nice the other night, but your Uncle Larry is not a good person. A long time ago, when he and I were both a lot younger, he was, but not anymore.”
“But why isn’t he a good person?”
“I wish I could explain it, baby girl, but I can’t. Although I will say that sometimes grown-ups lose their way.”
“Well, I like him. And Matthew likes him, too, don’t you, Matthew?”
“Yep,” Matthew said, not taking his eyes off the electronic game he was playing.
“See, Daddy?”
Curtis ignored Marissa’s last comment, and surprisingly, she didn’t say another word. This of course meant she wasn’t happy about what her father had just told her but unlike when I told her something she didn’t like, she kept quiet.
When we arrived at the church lot, Curtis parked in his designated parking space, which was also next to mine, and then we all walked inside the back way. Just as we did, Aunt Emma and Anise were walking up the stairs. I wanted to speak to my aunt but dreaded seeing my cousin. However, I knew Curtis was happy to see them both.
“Now, I know neither one of you is going to pretend like you don’t see me,” he said, teasing.
“Curtis,” Aunt Emma said, “honey, it’s so good to see you,” she said, hugging him.
“It’s good to see you, too. It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, it has.”
“And how’re you, Anise?”
“I’m good, Curtis,” she said, the two of them embracing. “It’s wonderful to see you.”
“Hey, Aunt Emma,” I said, interrupting.
“Hey, sweetie. How are you? And why haven’t you called or been over to see me?”
“I’m fine and I guess I’ve just been busy with these two here,” I said, referring to the children.
“I can imagine. They’re growing up so fast.”
She reached her arms out to both of them and they went over to greet her. Marissa only did so because Curtis was standing there watching. I knew this because Aunt Emma and Anise were two more individuals Marissa had never cared for. Her reason for not liking them was anyone’s guess, and to be honest, I no longer tried to figure it out. Not just why she didn’t like them, but why she didn’t like most people.
Matthew, on the other hand, loved his aunt and cousin, and the smile and excitement on his face proved it.
“Well, I guess we’d better get in here and get a seat because with you preaching today, you know it’s going to be a packed house,” Aunt Emma said to Curtis.
“You think so, huh?”
“Come on now, you know the entire congregation looks forward to hearing you preach.”
“That they do,” Anise said, and I couldn’t resist making her speak to me. Especially since she was speaking so freely to my husband.
“Hi, Anise.”
“Charlotte,” she said, and turned her head away from me.
That witch. She hadn’t even said “Hi, Charlotte.” I knew she had every reason to be upset with me, but after five years, this was starting to get ridiculous. I’d been walking around on eggshells, praying that she would start speaking to me again, but I was now becoming tired of it. I was losing my patience with her slowly but surely, and before long I was going to dismiss her for good. I was sorry and had told her so on a good number of occasions, but I wasn’t going to do it anymore. Either she would finally accept my apology or she wouldn’t, but either way I was moving on.
Once we’d had devotion, altar prayer, and the choir had sung a couple of songs, the Reverend Tolson, the residing pastor, stood at the pulpit.
“Today is a very special day,” he began. “Today is special because we have in our presence the founder of Deliverance Outreach.”
“Amen,” said most everyone in attendance.
“We have in our presence a true man of God who along with his wife had the vision to start this great church and who went on to write and sell millions of copies of his books, the kind that are helping millions worldwide. The man we have in our presence today has gone on to become one of the most sought-after speakers in this country, delivering a message to sometimes thousands at a time. The man we have in our presence is none other than our own Reverend Curtis Black.”
Everyone stood with applause and Curtis shook hands with the Reverend Tolson and stepped to the podium. He stood there for a few seconds, but the applause only continued. Which was always the case every time he was able to be here. It was almost as if most of the members worshiped him and wouldn’t have missed hearing him speak, not under any circumstances.
“Thank you,” Curtis said, and motioned for everyone to take their seats.
“It’s good to be here with all of you. It’s good because no matter how many places I travel to, the saying still stands…There really is no place like home.”
Amens resonated again, but what I wanted to do was stand up and ask Curtis why, if he felt this way, did he seem to do everything he could to stay out on the road? I wanted to ask him why over the last thirty days, he’d only been home for maybe a total of seven.
“And I have to admit, the hardest thing of all is being away from my beautiful wife and three wonderful children,” he continued. “It’s hard being away from the people you love most and then trying to decide whether it’s really worth it. Because over the last couple of days, Charlotte,” he said, looking directly at me, “whether you realize it or not, I’ve been thinking a lot about how important you and the children really are to me. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, being left alone all the time, but I promise you things are going to be different.”
The church was mesmerized and in total agreement with what he was saying, but I couldn’t tell whether he was telling the truth or putting on a show the same as always. Curtis was so hard to read, because less than a week ago he’d been rude and cruel to me on the phone and had pretty much told me to get used to all his traveling because he had to do what he had to do, but now he was acting as if he couldn’t live without me. Although I had to admit that we had had a blissful weekend thus far. It hadn’t been perfect, mainly because of Larry’s surprise visit, but overall we’d been happier with each other than we’d been in five years. Maybe Curtis had finally come to realize that he did love me, that we both had our faults and that our marriage was truly worth fighting for. But with Curtis, who knew for sure? The most I could do was wait and see.
“Before I have you turn your Bibles to the Book of Luke, I just want to say to the Reverend Tolson, keep doing what you’re doing. I knew when I first met you that you were the best man to lead the church in my absence, and I’m proud to know that you have done over and above what I ever expected. So thank you and may God continue blessing you with this ministry.”
Curtis read Ephesians 5:25, which talks about husbands loving their wives even as Christ also loved the church,
and then spoke on the subject “All in the Family.” He talked about the importance of family and how so many people, including him, were guilty of taking their families for granted.
He preached what seemed straight from the heart and the congregation agreed with every word he said. The spirit was moving in a way that couldn’t be explained, and even I found myself shedding tears of joy. Maybe because it seemed that my life with Curtis was about to take a turn for the better, and maybe it was because I couldn’t deny how proud I was to be married to someone in Curtis’s position. I was proud to be married to someone who was loved by most everyone.
“The doors of the church are open,” Curtis said, nearing the end of his sermon and stepping down from the pulpit. At the same time, five people made their way to the front of the church and sat on the front pew. The music played, the choir sang softly, and Curtis asked if there was anyone else who was tired of being out in the street, tired of fighting a losing battle without God in their lives.
“Is there another?” he said, wiping the perspiration from his forehead with a handkerchief.
And I thought I would pass out when Larry stood and walked down the aisle. I didn’t have a problem with him coming forward and turning his life over to God, but I was desperately concerned about the way Curtis might react to him.
As Larry walked over to Curtis and hugged him, the congregation applauded and a couple of people spoke in tongues. Shortly after, the music stopped and Curtis asked the names of each person who had come. Most of them hadn’t wanted to make any particular remarks, but Larry took the cordless microphone from Curtis and turned to face everyone.
“First, I just want to say that I really don’t know God, but the reason I came up here is because I want to get to know Him.”
The church roared with amens, hallelujahs, and “Thank you, Jesus.”
“Because I’m finally at the end of my rope and I’m tired of struggling the way I have been. I’m ashamed to tell you that I was once a drug user who ruined the lives of his wife and child and stole from his own parents. I’m ashamed to tell you that crack became more important to me than any human being I could think of and I was willing to do whatever I had to to get my hands on it.”
“My Lord!” one of the older women in the church exclaimed.
“Please have mercy on us today!” another added.
“But now, I’ve been clean for two years and I want to be a better person. I also want to apologize to my brother Curtis,” he said, and I heard gasps throughout the sanctuary. “Curtis and I are not blood brothers, but he’s as much of a brother as I could have ever prayed for. We were close until I turned to drugs and allowed them to take over my life. And Curtis, man…I’m sorry.”
Tears flowed down his face and he hugged Curtis so firmly that I wondered if Curtis could still breathe.
Curtis went along with what Larry was saying, but while Curtis’s pleasant demeanor may have been working for everyone else, I could see as clear as day that he still wasn’t happy about Larry. He still didn’t trust him, didn’t believe a word he was saying, and still didn’t want him around.
But for me, I wasn’t sure what to think. I couldn’t tell whether Larry was feigning his sincerity the way Curtis obviously thought he was or if he was maybe being on the up and up.
I couldn’t tell one way or the other, but what I did know was that learning Larry’s true mission was inevitable.
Chapter 10
CHARLOTTE
Right after service, we’d stopped at Smokehouse, a barbecue and soul food restaurant. Curtis and Matthew had ordered rib dinners, I’d ordered roasted chicken with macaroni and cheese and green beans, and Marissa had gotten her usual: French fries, a side of coleslaw, and peach cobbler. I wasn’t sure why, but she’d never liked eating meat. She’d eaten chicken a few times when she was three years old, but over the last two years she’d gone straight vegetarian. Well, not straight exactly, because she did eat eggs and lots of dairy products, which I was happy about because at least she still got the protein she needed.
We’d laughed and talked and had a great time together, and now Curtis and I were in our bedroom changing out of our dress clothes and the children were in their respective quarters doing the same.
“Can you believe that fool had the audacity to show up at church this morning?” Curtis said, loosening his tie.
I’d been wondering when he was finally going to bring up the subject of Larry, although now I knew he was simply waiting to do it when the children weren’t around. Still I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want a discussion to turn into an argument.
“He had a lot of nerve walking his behind down that aisle, trying to fool the entire congregation into believing he’s a changed man,” Curtis continued. “Because I’m here to tell you right now, he’s not. He’s still the same conniving manipulator he was when he was still out there using, and to be honest, who’s to say he’s not still out there doing it now?”
“All I’ll say is that he doesn’t look like he’s strung out on anything,” I finally said.
“Maybe not strung out, but there’s no way for you to tell if someone is drug free until you’ve been around them for a while. Plus Larry had one of those slick, charming personalities even when he was clean and living a normal life.”
Well, wasn’t that the hair weave calling the curly wig fake. But maybe Curtis just didn’t see himself in the same light. Maybe he didn’t know that he was exactly the same way, and had been since the day I’d first met him.
“People do change,” I tried to explain. “I know you don’t believe that, but what if he’s really trying to get his life together and just wants a shoulder or two to lean on in the process?”
“Please. Just mark my word. Larry Reynolds means nothing but trouble.”
“But what if we’re turning away someone who really needs our help? Someone who isn’t simply trying to get over on us?”
“You just don’t get it, do you? And that’s fine, but I’m telling you, I don’t want him coming around here. I’ve said this more than once over the last couple of days, but I’m saying it again so that there won’t be any misunderstandings. I don’t want him having any contact with you, Matthew, or Marissa. Period.”
“Whatever you want,” I said, pulling the black three-quarter-sleeved, V-neck sweater over my head and down over my body. Then I slipped on a pair of black riding pants and reached for my ankle boots with three-inch heels. “Are you sure you don’t want to go over to Janine’s with me?”
“No, I think it’s best for me to stay here with the kids, because if that fool Antonio steps out of line with me, I’ll end up hurting him.”
I laughed because I knew Curtis was partly being humorous and partly serious. Serious because he cared about Janine the same as I did and he certainly wasn’t happy about the way Antonio was treating her. Yesterday I’d told him what was going on with them, just before we’d driven down to see Alicia, and Curtis had had more than a few words to say.
“I’m really worried about her because I know he’s threatening her exactly the way she’s saying,” I said.
“Well, you know I’ve never understood why she ever started dating him in the first place.”
“Me neither. But the thing is she really loved him, and while I keep telling her to kick him out, there’s no telling what he’ll do to retaliate.”
“I feel bad for her, and when you see her tell her that I’ll be praying for all this to come to an end.”
“I will,” I said, and kissed him on the lips. But when I prepared to step away, Curtis pulled me into his arms and kissed me again.
“You do know that I meant what I said during service this morning, right?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Well, you should because I was serious. I know I’ve been distant and, as you say, ‘rude’ to you, but I’m going to do everything I can to make things better between us. I was also serious when I told Marissa that I’m going to finish out my en
gagements over the next month so I can be home through the end of the year. And then, next year, I’m going to cut my normal traveling in half and do some more writing, and maybe you can go with me some of the time and the kids can do the same during the summer months.”
“That’s all I’ve been asking for,” I said, smiling, but deep down I couldn’t help wondering why Curtis’s attitude toward me had changed so drastically and if it was going to last for any real length of time. But maybe it would.
“And just for the record, I do love you. I know I said it wasn’t the same as in the beginning, and that’s still partly true, but I do love you the way a man should love his wife.”
“I love you, too, and I’ve never stopped. I’ve disliked you on a number of occasions, but I never stopped loving you.”
He kissed me again and said, “You’d better get going so you can check on Janine.”
“I know. See you when I get back,” I said, and realized I hadn’t felt this happy in months.
But when I walked down the stairway I heard Marissa telling Matthew that she hated him. I was carrying my boots in my hand because I wasn’t in the habit of walking across the carpet or any other flooring with them on, and this allowed me to ease closer to the family room without Marissa or Matthew realizing it. The television was on but Marissa spoke softly yet loud enough for me to hear everything she was saying.
“Nobody likes you, not even Daddy, so why don’t you go live somewhere else?” she told him. “Because I don’t want a brother or a mother. I just want it to be Daddy and me living here,” she said, pausing. “And that’s why I wish someone would run you over with their car or shoot a bullet in your head,” she said.
That’s when I’d finally had enough.
But as I walked into the family room, preparing to yell at Marissa, Curtis came in behind me and Marissa ran over to him, smiling.
“Daddy, I’m so glad we went to church today, and I love you so much. I love Mommy and I love Matthew, too. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
Love & Lies Page 8
