When Chad and I arrived in Mammoth Forest, it was very dark and cold. We immediately realized that our usual insulated body suits were replaced by the thin white linen clothes we wore in Providencia. The weather in the village was far warmer than it was in the Equinox. I could hardly believe there was that much of a stark contrast between the two climates. We were immediately thrown into a completely different world and the shock of the cold nearly knocked us out.
“I can’t…I ca…breath.” I stuttered.
I was shaking uncontrollably.
“H-h-here….c-come….h-h-here.”
I walked over to Chad and he put his arms around me.
“W-we can st-s-ay w-warm l-like th-this,” he said.
We laid down for what seemed like an eternity on the dewy grass and held each other.
“What d-did Elliot say t-to you b-before we left?”
“H-he just wanted me n-not to worry.”
“Ugh!” He scoffed.
“What?”
“H-he’s trying to play the n-n-nice guy, but he only w-wants you for y-your body. You know th-that right?”
“Chad! He’s an honorable m-man!”
“Psh. Honorable my a-a-“
I pinched him on his side and twisted as hard as my icy fingers could. He let out an amusing howl.
“I’m j-just saying! Guys like him are j-just trying to c-cause trouble. You should st-say away from him!”
Suddenly his grip around my waist got stronger.
“Ch-Chad, you know that I l-love you r-right?”
I felt him pause suddenly.
“You d-do?”
“I mean a-as a friend. I love you as a f-friend.”
Then I felt his body go slightly limp.
We laid there for a while in silence, then Chad said something that knocked the little wind that I had left out of me.
“I love you, Sage, but as a man loves a woman. I-I’m sorry.”
My body got even stiffer. I wanted to get up and run away screaming and crying, but my body betrayed me. All I could do was lay there like a frozen log, silently. My silence was like daggers that pierced his heart. With each passing unspoken moment I felt a wedge grow between us. The irony was that we were closer than ever. In fact, I had never been this close to Chad. Our bodies were glued together, there, on the forest grass. Our legs were intertwined and his arms were wrapped around my torso. My head lay against his chest while he lay perfectly still under my stiff body. I was able to smell his scent and listen to his rapid heart beating un-rhythmically. It was unsettled and so was mine.
Finally, I got up the nerve to speak.
“I think we should f-find w-wood to make a fire. I-I’m still free-zing.”
“I’ll go. You stay,” he said.
I got off of him and watched him as he walked away with his shoulders hunched over. I wondered if he’d ever walk the way he did before; with the pride and valor of a soldier coming home from war. He would walk as if he earned the right to walk that way; never out of step, never unsure of his way, always upright with his head high into the stars. That was Chad. To see a boy stripped of his ability to walk made a part of me die inside. I made him like this. I made him into a pitiful walker who’s head hung into oblivion. Seeing him walk that way was worse than realizing that we had been caught by the Authorities. It was worse than finding out that my father was a heartless ruler who stripped our civilization from their basic rights. Seeing Chad so tortured caused my heart to stir in its peaceful bed.
I sat there on the grass with my legs cradled in between my arms rocking back and forth. A million questions flooded my mind about Chad and Elliott. I had always known what my relationship with Chad meant. He was one of my oldest friends. We never crossed the line of our friendship to explore anything romantic, but all of a sudden I was faced with the question: what are your feelings for Chad, really? I thought I knew the answer, so it was easy to respond without thinking. He’s my friend of course. But suddenly, I wasn’t so sure if I really knew.
Elliott was always an enigma to me. Ever since I saw him in the Power Society Library, I was fascinated by his brute-like demeanor. And those eyes. I don’t have the history with Elliott that I do with Chad and for some reason the novelty of a new boy sparked my curiosity. But of course I couldn’t choose on the basis of curiosity. I had to choose based on an unquestionable certainty, but I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.
Why was my father doing this? Where could I call home anymore? What should I have done about the knowledge that I had? Who did I love: Chad or Elliott?
Chad appeared from the trees carrying several fire logs in his arms.
“Here, I’ll give you a hand.”
We laid them on top of each other in alternate directions. I went to find some dry twigs to make a fire. I came back with a handful of twigs just in case, but Chad succeeded in one try. He was always good at doing outdoorsy things. After a few minutes, we had ourselves a nice sized fire.
The flames made us a lot warmer, but we were still a little cold.
“Do you want to cuddle again to keep warm?” I asked.
“No, I think we’ll be okay. Try to sleep as close to the fire as possible without getting burned. I’ll wake up a few times to make sure it’s still burning. We’ll put it out in the morning. Get some sleep. We’ve got to be alert for tomorrow.”
We each slept on opposite sides of the fire that night.
The next morning, Chad went to the lake to catch some fish for our breakfast. He came back with three medium sized bass fish. We cooked them in silence on the fire and ate them in a matter of minutes. I hadn’t realized how famished I was after the previous night.
After breakfast we put out the fire and headed to my grandfather’s house. The plan was that we would tell my grandfather everything first and then tell Conner’s family, my mom and Mia. All of us would then plan to escape to Providencia, if they believed our story, but our plan would not work.
We made it to my grandfather’s house a little after noon. I had missed how abstract the sky was in the Equinox. There weren’t any white clouds but there was streaks of color that looked like God had painted it with a brush. God.
I looked at my forearm and saw that the words, yea, though I walk were almost smeared completely off. The rest of the verse was still there. I kissed it.
My grandfather was shocked when we arrived at his doorstep.
“Goodness child! Where have you been!? And what happened to your clothes?”
“We’re in hiding. Can we come in? There’s so much to tell you.”
“Of course! Come in, quick!”
My grandfather’s house was old-fashioned inside. The décor had not the slightest hint of modernity. Most homes in the Equinox had their own unique style, because they were decorated by creators. My grandfather opted out of having any creator fashion his home, so all he had was a boring black leather couch and coffee table. We sat down and he poured us both a glass of water.
“Now, tell me what happened to you all. Do you know that The Authorities are looking for you? Your father is very angry. And your friend Mia is…gone.”
“What do you mean? Where did she go?” Chad asked.
My grandfather lowered his head.
“You father took her away. I think he sent her to the grid pen.”
“Oh no! She was only trying to help me!”
“Help you do what child? Help you get arrested!?”
“We’ve discovered the secrets of our world. Remember how you used to tell me stories about the Underground? Well there was more to it than I thought. My father is a mad man.”
“Hush! Sage you know you aren’t supposed to speak any ill will about your father. What would make you say that?”
“He stole the Book of Wisdom to keep himself in power while the rest of us serve him!”
My grandfather’s expression quickly changed into one of alarm.
“Where did you hear that?”
“In his journal.”
>
My grandfather shook his head in disapproval. I placed a soft hand on his shoulder.
“We traveled to a land called Providencia. It’s full of peaceful people. They were once Equinoxians, but escaped years ago in search of a better life. I’m afraid father will put us deeper in bondage. He wants to take away our natural freedom! Come with us to Providencia where we can be free.”
“Sage, please keep quiet! These words are treasonous!”
I dropped my hand from his shoulder.
“Why is it treason to speak my mind? You see? Mr. Riley is trying to control our every thought until we have no free will,” I said.
He glanced over at Chad. “Did you find the book?”
“Yessir we did. There are many copies of it floating around Providencia.”
“And did you get to read it?” Grandpa asked.
“Not all of it, but some yes.”
“Did you read the part that says to obey your master?”
“Grandpa!”
“You are treading on thin water my precious granddaughter. You don’t realize the seriousness of what you’ve done. I have not told you everything about our past because it is the past. It holds no relevancy to the present. Society has changed. We no longer look to the Book of Wisdom for guidance. We look to our leader. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it has to be or risk judgment from our leader.”
“Only God can judge me!” I burst.
“What did you say!?” He walked closer to me. “What on earth have they told you there?”
“Out of all the people here, I thought you would understand. After all, you lived in the old age.”
“Sage, the truth and the love of freedom has been kept in my heart since then, yes. But I wouldn’t dare let it escape these lips. The hatred for that book stirs in almost every heart,” he said.
“What is it worth living a lie, grandpa? Is it worth keeping the truth locked away all your life? How can you live knowing that you are being forced to live a life that you are so adamantly against? Your own son took that away from you.”
My grandfather walked slowly over to the corner window.
“Once he realized that I wouldn’t have powers, it was almost like he shunned me. To him, the naturals were third class citizens.”
“And this is the leader that you continue to serve so faithfully?” Chad said.
“He is my son…after all. I must love him. I made him.”
I walked over to my grandfather and placed my hand on his back.
“Please, come with us. You can live a life of truth. You can be accepted by others and treated like an equal. You don’t have to continue to serve a malicious ruler. The Equinox is a dead end. There’s no life here.”
He turned around to look at me.
“Even if I were to go back with you, I wouldn’t survive the journey. I am too old to make it.”
“No, we can teleport you. You don’t have to stay here,” Chad said.
“Even so, everything I have is here. I am too old to start over. This is my home and this is where I’ll die.”
“Grandpa please!” Tears were welling up in my eyes.
“You are right. What is it worth to live a lie? You are so young and have so much to live for. Don’t waste your youth here under the tyranny of your father. Go. You have the truth, now go and take it with you and never look back.”
“But I-I…can’t leave you,” I began to cry.
“You will never leave me child. You and I both have the love of the truth in our hearts so that makes us bound together for all eternity. Come,” he said with sadness in his voice.
He held me in his arms and wept. I had never seen him cry before and that made me sob into his shoulder. Chad came over and rubbed my back.
That was the last time I saw my grandfather. He was the only source of wisdom in my life growing up, until I found a new source. I found the Book of Wisdom, even though I was still skeptical of its power.
The pain of losing my grandfather was too much to bear. I cried all the way to my house. The verse on my arm was fading like the remnants of my past.
When we got to my house, Chad stopped me, gazed into my eyes and put his hands on my shoulders.
“Sage, it’s going to be okay. We’ve got something greater to live for now. Don’t worry about leaving the past behind, because the future is much brighter.”
“Thank you.”
I paused for a second.
“And I-I…couldn’t have done this without you with me all this time,” I said.
He gave me a smile.
“I know.”
Chad left to go tell his parents while I confronted my mom.
She nearly fainted when she saw me at the door. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside, slamming the door behind me.
“Where on EARTH have you been!? Do you know that the entire Equinox is looking for you?”
Her eyes were red and bulging.
“I know mom.”
“And Mia! That poor girl is probably sitting in a jail cell as we speak! All this time I thought it was you in my h-house, but all along I w-was being deceived!” She broke down in tears.
I wrapped my arms around her thin frame.
“Mom I’m sorry, but I had to go with him. I had to in order to find out why father wanted that book so badly.”
“And did you find out why?”
I nodded and looked at her sympathetically.
“Have a seat mom. I don’t know how to tell you this delicately so I’ll put it plainly. Father has plans to control all civilization so that we are all in allegiance to him. He wants to strip us of our basic rights so that we can’t think for ourselves. That book was the one and only thing getting in his way of achieving that. The people who took the book from him know that and want to preserve the book so that others have a chance to look beyond the grid and find the truth.”
She looked at me a long while and then bowed her head.
“What are you planning to do about it?” She said blankly.
“Right now I plan to go back to the place where we were and bring you with me.”
She rose her head and looked at me regretfully.
“There’s no way that’ll happen. I must stay at your father’s side. I can’t just leave him like this.”
“But he’s an evil man!”
“Even so, Sage, he is my husband.”
“Your husband would turn you into a mindless droid if he could! He doesn’t care about anyone but himself! Wake up mom! This is reality. Please, come with me.”
“No! I won’t. I’m too afraid of what might happen. I-I-“
“You don’t have to be afraid. You can live a life with no fear, no worry or regret. Just come.”
“I can’t go. And neither can you. This is our home Sage!”
She stood up and I started backing away from her.
“Mom do you hear what I’m telling you!? This whole place is a joke! Please, don’t do this. Grandpa already stayed. Don’t-“
“Grandpa stayed? See? Your family is here. We aren’t going anywhere. Your place is here. Besides, you are the rightful heir to your father’s leadership seat. You can change things yourself if you wanted to.”
“That’ll be many years from now! By then I would have been brainwashed into doing his evil bidding; unable to think for myself. No, I don’t want any part in that.”
She grabbed my arms.
“Please Sage don’t leave me. Don’t go back. I’m sure if you apologize to your father he will pardon you. Just say you’re sorry and come home.”
I yanked my arms out of her grip.
“No. I can’t do this. I can’t live a lie. I’m too young to be trapped here. If you aren’t coming with me then…then, I guess this is goodbye.”
I walked over to her and kissed her forehead gently.
“Mother, you will always be in my heart. No matter what you see in the future. No matter what happens between our two worlds, know that I love you.”
&nb
sp; “I…love…you too, my child. I love you,” she said through tears.
As I began to open the door I turned around.
“The next time you see me I will not be your little Princess Sage. I just want you to know.”
She cradled her head in her hands and I left home.
Chad met me at our rendezvous spot a little while after I spoke with my mom. I had some time to think about our conversation. A part of my regretted leaving. This was my home and now I was leaving in a blatant act of betrayal toward my family. Even so, how could I live there knowing that the truth was out there somewhere? I would’ve been half a person.
When Chad walked up to me he had a rosebud cupcake in his hand.
“What’s that for?”
“Do you not know what today is?”
I thought for a second.
“No.”
“It’s your birthday. My mom gave me this to give to you.”
“Wow, 17. I can’t believe I forgot my own birthday.”
“I can. This past year has been a whirlwind. It’s a wonder you even remembered to take a shower!” He said laughing.
“Hey! Actually I can’t remember the last time-“
“Phew let’s just pretend I never mentioned it.”
I was glad that the old Chad was coming back.
“So what did your parents say?” I asked.
“Well, as you can see they aren’t here. They said that since Christine was just a baby that it would be dangerous to take her away from home for an undisclosed amount of time. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. They think I’m leaving temporarily. I guess they figure I’m always gone exploring some place, so I’ll come back just like before.” He lowered his head and took a bite out of my cupcake.
“Did you tell them that you’ll be gone probably forever?”
“I didn’t have the courage. I told them ‘I’ll see you soon’.”
His eyes were getting misty so I gave him a long hug. We stood there hugging for the longest time soaking in the weight of our decision. We realized that our lives were really about to change forever.
Lovers of Babel Page 24
