by Mary Alford
Grace’s knees threatened to buckle with the shock of coming face to face with her past. “I gave you my statement, Ms Michaels. I have nothing else to say. I’d like you to leave now. Come on, Lizzy.” Grace turned back to the house.
“Wait, Crystal−don’t go.” Tara Michaels grabbed her arm to stop her.
Grace rounded on her. “It’s Grace. Please, let me go.”
Tara let go of her arm. “I’m sorry. I think we’ve gotten off to a bad start, and that’s my fault. I’m not explaining myself in the right away.”
“No, I think you’ve made your intentions perfectly clear,” Grace said in a hard tone. “Now I’m making myself clear. I have nothing further to say to you and I’d like you to leave. If you don’t I will call the sheriff.”
Tara Michaels didn’t budge. “That’s just it, Grace. I’m not here to interview you. I want to talk to you about something we both have in common. Or should I say, someone.”
Grace stared at the woman and tried to understand what she meant. “You and I don’t have anything in common.”
“You’re wrong, Grace. You see, we were both married to Nick Samuels.”
16
Grace couldn’t believe she had heard the woman correctly. “I−I beg your pardon? Is this some kind of sick joke?”
Tara smiled at her surprise. “No it isn’t. I was married to Nick as well, and he hurt me the same way I suspect he hurt you.”
It felt like a lifetime before Grace could bring words forth. “You were married to Nick?”
Tara nodded.
“When? He never mentioned you.”
Tara actually laughed. It was full of bitterness. “I’m not really surprised. By the time he married you he was long over me. We were married when we were still just kids.”
Grace stared at the pain she saw on Tara’s face. “I think you’d better come inside.”
Tara nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”
She and Grace walked back into the house.
Grace closed the door behind them. Once they were inside, Grace wasn’t sure what to do next. She wasn’t ready to have the painful conversation she knew was coming. “Would you like some coffee?” she asked instead.
Tara seemed surprised by the offer of kindness. “That would be wonderful. It’s really cold up here…but beautiful,” she added.
“Yes it is. Why don’t you come into the kitchen, and we can talk there.”
Tara followed her, as did Lizzy, who took her usual spot by the window while casting a distrustful eye on Tara.
“It’s beautiful and peaceful. I can certainly understand why you moved here,” Tara said.
Grace handed her a cup of coffee. “Yes, I fell in love with the place the second I saw the view.”
“This is hard. I haven’t spoken to another person about what happened between Nick and me in a long time.” She drew in a deep breath. “All of our friends back then thought we were just too young and that the reason we divorced was that we really weren’t in love anymore, but nothing could be further from the truth.”
Grace could see how hard it was for Tara to share her story. “Come sit down.” Grace pulled out a chair for Tara and then sat opposite of her.
Tara couldn’t seem to find the right words.
Grace covered her hand. “Just take your time.”
Tara nodded and stared into her coffee cup. “We were married about six months when he hit me the first time. We’d had an argument about his drinking. He lost his temper and hit me hard here.” She pointed to her cheek. “The pain was bad, but the betrayal I felt was the hardest thing to accept. He stormed out. I cried and cried until I finally fell asleep. When he returned the next day he acted as if nothing had happened. I got the courage to confront him about it, and I thought he would kill me. He told me if I knew what was good for me I’d keep my mouth shut and learn to be a good wife.”
Tara shook her head. “That was the first of many beatings I took at the hands of the man I loved with all my heart. We were married almost five years when I finally had enough. I’d finished college by then and Nick’s drinking was spiraling. I realized he would never change, not even for me. And so I left him.” She glanced at Grace as if trying to judge her reaction. “So you see, I know what you’ve been through and I guess I just wanted to tell you you’re not alone.”
Tears filled Grace’s eyes and spilled over. “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
Tara squeezed her hand. “You’re welcome. That’s why I wanted−no−I needed to talk to you. I only pretended to want to interview you. I know how hard it is to tell anyone this. It’s dark and its ugly, and you just want to push it into some corner of your mind and forget it ever happened, but you can’t, Grace. You can’t.”
Grace understood this all too well. “Yes. I wanted to, but it’s because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. Nick was a legend in the music field when he married me. I was nobody.”
Tara smiled sympathetically. “I felt the same way. I was close to your age when I left Nick. When you’re young, and especially when you don’t have any family close to you, it is hard. Did he tell you he had been married three times before you?”
He had. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight, that should have been Grace’s biggest warning sign. Nick had simply made up a negative story for each of them to sway her opinion his way. “Yes, he told me. He never gave me their names. He said the reason for the breakups were basically all their fault. They didn’t understand what it meant to be a country star.”
Tara shook her head. “I’m not really surprised. I’ve spoken to each of the other woman and they’ve told me pretty much the same thing. Nick was a habitual abuser.”
Grace stared at her curiously.
Why did Tara want to talk to the other women in Nick’s life?
Tara must have spotted her interest. “I know it seems strange but I just had to know if it was just me or if that was the way he treated every woman.”
“It wasn’t just you. He was the same way with me,” Grace confessed. “In the beginning, well, it was more of an emotional abuse. He’d yell, belittle me. Tell me I was stupid. Then, as I started to get more attention than him it became physical. He’d shove me or grab me hard enough to leave bruises. He never hit me. I think it was simply because he didn’t want to have to explain it to the public.”
“What happened that night?” Tara asked softly.
Grace had only told one other person the truth behind the accident, but she felt a connection to Tara. They shared the same horrific past. “He’d been drinking a lot more than normal in the months before the accident. Our relationship, well, it had been fractured for a while. He rarely talked to me unless it was about work. I suspected he might be seeing someone else, but I had no proof. Until the night of the accident, when I found out the truth.” She told Tara about the phone call from Lauren. She still remembered the disbelief and pain she felt when Nick told her he’d see whomever he wanted and there was nothing she could do about it.
As she continued, her voice was little more than a whisper. “When we were outside by the car, I took the keys from him. He slammed me against the car but he was too drunk to put up a fight. I told him on the drive home I wanted a divorce.” She shook her head. “The look on his face…I’ve never seen such hatred. He grabbed the wheel and yanked it hard toward the hills on my side. Tara, I think he tried to kill me.”
Tara sucked in a breath. “Oh, Grace, how terrifying.”
Grace could feel her hands trembling as she recounted the part of the story she hadn’t told the police. “I was certain we were going to hit the hill. If we had, I’d be dead.” She told Tara about the crash. How terrifying it had been.
Tara reached for her hand and clutched it once more. “That’s horrible.”
Grace’s voice shook as she remembered Nick screaming. She swallowed hard. “I tried to help him, but I couldn’t. Even as abusive as he was, I never wished for him to die. But I was hurt bad. My arm
was broken and so were several ribs, and I couldn’t talk because my vocal cords were badly damaged. The man who stopped tried to help Nick too, but the door was jammed. He couldn’t get Nick out in time. The car exploded. I listened while Nick begged for help. I’ll never forget the sound of his screams as long as I live.”
Tara’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
Grace couldn’t think about that night and not be filled with regret. “If only I hadn’t confronted him. If I’d waited until he wasn’t drunk to tell him I wanted a divorce...”
“No, Grace, you didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t blame yourself. I think you’re right. Nick was trying to hurt you. Obviously he wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“I’m trying to make peace with what happened but it’s been hard. Especially with the nasty comments Nick’s family, and Cat, in particular, have made.”
Tara sighed wearily. “That sounds like Cat. She always adored her brother even when she knew he was doing bad things. She tried to talk me out of leaving Nick. Even after I told her what he’d done to me she didn’t believe me. We’d always been close before that. She accused me of lying.”
It was a relief to know Cat’s behavior wasn’t just directed at Grace. “She’s been throwing around accusations that I might have had more to do with the accident again despite the police investigation that showed it was just an accident.”
“You never told them your suspicion about what Nick had tried to do that night?” Tara asked.
“I couldn’t. In spite of everything, Nick was dead, and it wouldn’t do anything but make me feel better, so I told the police I slid on the ice and lost control. Which was the truth. I just didn’t tell them he grabbed the wheel.”
“You’re a bigger person than me. I would have let everyone know what happened. I mean, he tried to kill you.”
At first that was exactly what she’d wanted to do. “It wasn’t easy, but with a lot of prayer and asking for God’s guidance, I realized it’s the right thing to do. His tarnished reputation died with him. His family doesn’t need to know any different.”
Tara glanced out the window. “And so you moved here. Is there any chance you could sing again?”
Grace shook her head. “No, and that’s something I’ve had to make peace with as well. My singing career is over, but I started out as a songwriter and someone reminded me recently that was my real passion. So, maybe I’ll take a crack at that again.”
Tara smiled at her. “I’m happy to hear it. I know it was you who wrote most of the songs you and Nick sang.”
Grace was surprised by the woman’s astuteness. “How did you know?”
“I’ve followed Nick’s career through the years. Those songs were not his style. He never wrote anything so beautifully sensitive before. Why did you let him take the credit?”
Grace shook her head. “I was young and foolish, and I believed everything he told me…at least for a while.”
Tara glanced at her watch and got to her feet. “I should get going. It’s a long drive to Nashville.”
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Grace asked because she truly hated that their time together was ending. “You could leave early in the morning.”
Tara shook her head. “That’s very kind but I need to get back. As hard as it will be, I plan to attend the memorial service. Not for Nick, but his family.”
Grace walked her to the door. “Will you tell them they’re in my prayers? I can’t go. It would be just too hard.”
Tara hugged her close. “I understand. I will tell them and please don’t worry. You’re doing what’s best for you. In time, Cat and her mom will realize the truth.”
****
Someone knocked loudly on the door.
He stared up from the whiskey glass, his vision blurry. Not now. He couldn’t handle talking to anyone now.
“Kyle, are you there?”
Grace. He tried to focus on his watch but couldn’t. It had to be late. Please, Lord, let her go away. I can’t let her see me like this. He took another slug of whiskey and didn’t answer her. He’d been weak. The call that came in had completely blindsided him and knocked the wind out of him.
When he’d left the hospital earlier in the afternoon Jessup was talking and laughing and doing so much better that Kyle believed it was safe to go home for a while and take care of some of the things he’d let slide. Noah was there with Jessup. It would be OK for a little while. He’d planned to drive back to Denver in the morning.
Then Noah had called.
And the ground had slipped out from beneath Kyle.
Jessup had suffered a stroke.
Kyle had lost it. He didn’t know what to do and so he’d dived into his old friend, the bottle. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing Jessup after everything he’d been through. It wasn’t fair.
“Kyle, I know you’re in there. Noah called me. He’s been trying to reach you. He’s worried.”
“Go away, Grace,” he yelled and his words were slurred. “I’m…busy.” He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked like his dad during one of his worst drinking spells. He put his head in his hands. He couldn’t face her and have her see his weakness.
The door rattled. “I’m not going away so you might as well open the door.”
“I said go away,” he yelled angrily once more, and then tossed the glass against the wall holding the mirror, obliterating the nasty image of himself.
“You’re drunk?” she asked in amazement, her tone laced with condemnation. “Kyle, Jessup needs you. Get yourself together.” Her disapproval cut deep.
“He might not make it through the night, Grace. I can’t watch that.” His voice shook. He was close to losing it emotionally.
“So you’re taking the coward’s way out and wallowing in self-pity? Get drunk. Prove to yourself you really are your father. Well, fine. Do that. But if Jessup dies without you seeing him one more time, you’ll regret it forever, and you’ll never forgive yourself. And I’ll tell you something else. If this is truly the type of man you are, then I don’t want to ever see you again.”
The truth in those words hit like a punch to the gut. He couldn’t form an answer. He was losing her. Losing the woman who had helped bring him back to life.
He took the whiskey bottle and downed the remains trying to drown out her gut-wrenching words. But as he listened to the sound of Grace walking away from him for what might just prove to be the final time, he knew no matter what his family history was, he didn’t want to be that man anymore.
“Lord, please help me. Don’t let me be too late for Jessup. Don’t let Grace hate me.”
17
“Come on. Come on,” Kyle said impatiently as he watched the elevator click the floors by until it reached the twelfth floor. It was barely three in the morning and once he’d gotten the whiskey out of his system he’d driven straight to the hospital. The elevator doors opened, and he raced toward Jessup’s room.
The door to Jessup’s room stood open. Jessup’s doctor was talking to someone.
Please don’t let me be too late. Kyle walked in.
The doctor, Noah, and Grace turned to him in surprise.
“Is he…?” But he couldn’t say the word. He had to swallow hard to keep tears away.
“He’s holding his own,” the doctor assured him gravely. “He’s a tough old guy. It’ll serve him well. But the next few days will tell the tale.”
Kyle stared down at the fragile-looking man in the bed. Jessup looked so helpless lying there. Tears sprang into his eyes, and he scrubbed them away.
Noah cleared his throat. “Since you’re here, I’ll head on back to the ranch. Keep an eye on things, if that’s OK.”
“Thanks, Noah. I’ll call you if anything changes,” Kyle managed. He couldn’t take his eyes off Grace. She was deliberately avoiding looking at him.
“He appears to be stable for now,” the doctor continued. “I’ll finish my rounds and check on him later.” The ma
n clutched Kyle’s shoulder briefly as if to give him strength. “If anything happens, have the charge nurse page me.” The doctor nodded to Grace and then left them alone.
And Kyle didn’t know what to say to her. He could see from her frozen expression that she wasn’t anywhere close to forgiving him. She might never be.
She leaned over and gave Jessup a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back later this evening,” she told the unconscious man and turned to Kyle. “I’m glad you came. He needs you. I think God, and you, are the ones who will bring him through this.” She headed for the door. She was leaving.
He couldn’t let things end like this. “Grace, wait.”
She didn’t look at him. “I can’t. I can’t do this right now, Kyle. Our pastor has called a prayer vigil for Jessup after the morning service.”
He was humbled by the caring nature of his church family, but he suspected it was all because of Grace’s influence. “Thank you,” he said humbly.
She turned to him. Anger flared in her eyes. “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Jessup. He’s family.” She stared to leave again.
He was so afraid that if she did, he’d never have the chance to apologize for his bad behavior again. “Grace, wait. Please, can we at least talk about what happened?”
The wintery chill in her eyes sent his heart plummeting to his feet.
“There’s nothing to talk about. We have nothing to talk about.”
And with those heartbreaking words, she left him to his demons.
****
She cried the whole way home. No matter how many times she told herself she was behaving foolishly, she still couldn’t stop the tears. She scrubbed angrily at them. Stop crying. And if it was just friendship between then, then why did she feel so betrayed? It was almost as if she was reliving the terrible things that happened with Nick. She couldn’t go there again. Not even for Kyle.
She reached Delaney Mountain in time to shower and change for morning service. Even with her face scrubbed the evidence of her tears were still visible. She made a face at the woman in the mirror, left the house, and drove into town to the church.
