by Skye Turner
Rose laughs and it’s musical. “It was in my skirt. I straightened the pantry earlier and I smuggled it out. I was going to give it to Raquel. She isn’t getting enough food or rest and I thought it would be a treat for her and the baby.”
My face darkens as I remember just how precarious our task is. This is about more than just protecting Rose. Raquel, Gabby, and every other kid that would ever be sent here needs help, too.
We don’t even know who the father of the baby is. It could be any number of people, but I know that none of them want the world to know that they fathered a baby with a teenage girl they took advantage of.
Yes, it’s past time to get the ball rolling.
I hand Rose the can and she cradles it before sighing in frustration. She looks up at me and her voice cracks as she asks, “Is there any way that we’re escaping this, Jaye? We’re just kids.”
Sitting on the bed, I pull her into me and hug her tightly. “We are kids, but we’re more than that. We’re smart and we’re determined. We want better and we deserve better, so we’ll get it. I don’t know why God abandoned us, but I’m not just lying down and taking it. We didn’t do anything… any of us… none of us deserve this…
“This is not how my life is supposed to be. This is not how your life is supposed to be, Rose. You deserve better. You deserve to be spoiled and pampered. You deserve everything good and even though we’ll have to do it ourselves, I’m fighting for you. I’m getting us out of here. We’re going to have the life we deserve and the people in this town can all rot in hell. They deserve that!”
She nods, but says nothing in response. I know she’s scared. I’m scared, too.
But I’m not giving up. We will get out of here.
Pulling her down, I wrap the blanket around her and spoon against her back. Running my hands through her hair to try to untangle it, I whisper to her to go to sleep.
Soon, her breath evens out and she snores lightly. I watch her in the flickering candlelight as the storm still rages outside. She’s so beautiful, so peaceful… I refuse to allow them to take that away from her.
With everything I have to do running through my head, I finally drift into sleep with Rose in my arms.
*
Something disturbs my slumber and I lie perfectly still as I try to understand what woke me. Someone is moving in the barn. I hear their heavy footsteps as they head back toward my room. Slipping quietly from the bed, I stand and creep to the door to see who it is.
If it’s Tobias, I don’t want him to come in here and find Rose. No one needs to know what happened last night.
I must have made more noise than I realized, because Rose’s low, startled voice stops my advance to the door.
“Jaye? What’s wrong? Is it morning?”
Turning quickly, I place my finger to my lips to indicate she needs to be silent. Her eyes are wide saucers in her head as she nods. Her hands are clutching the sheet so tightly they’re white. Nodding at the door, I remind her to be quiet. She nods and quickly slips from the bed.
The footsteps are getting closer to the back of the barn. Looking down, I see Rose is still only wearing my shirt. Pointing to her dress quickly, I then point to her and again place my finger over my lips to reiterate how important it is that she remain quiet.
She grabs the dress and hurriedly slips it on over her head before tip-toeing behind me. With my eyes and hands, I tell her to get behind the door, so when I open it, she’s not visible.
Once she’s concealed, I loudly open the door and stumble into the barn and stretch. I’m shirtless and barefoot with only my jeans on, but walk to the back door of the barn as if I’ve just woken up. As I relieve my bladder, I realize that the rain has stopped.
I glance into the barn from the corner of my eyes and try to see who’s in here.
I don’t see anything and my hackles rise. I know I heard someone. Who was it? Where are they?
As I turn, I jump. Tobias is leaning against one of the wooden supports of the barn. I laugh and say rudely, “What the fuck? Why are you skulking around in here? Are you lost, old man? You never come in here.”
He sneers at me. “It’s my fucking barn, boy. I can go anywhere I want to. Besides, you’re the one with no reason to stay here. Why are you still here, boy?”
The urge to beat him senseless is right at the surface, but I tamp it down. Instead, I cross my arms and stare at him. He looks like shit. I don’t think he’s bathed recently and his hair is matted and greasy. His mustache is so dirty, it looks wet. His lack of personal hygiene makes me want to puke and I can smell the booze coming off of him in waves. I could probably get drunk on just the fumes.
I smirk at him and retort, “You want me to leave, old man? Fine, I can pack my shit and be out today.” I’m bluffing, but place contempt in my voice as I lie. “Then who’d take care of your piece of shit farm? Besides, I have a bunk and I make money in town… I like money.”
He grins and his yellowed and rotten teeth gross me out even more. “Money? I bet you do… but not as much as you like that rampant pussy you get in town, eh? Whores everywhere. All women are good for is a fuck. And these whores are no different. Show them a good looking young guy and they’re all willing to throw money around to have him sink between their thighs.”
He sneers and spits into the hay. “See, you learned something here after all, boy. I taught you that.” He stumbles and beats his hand on his chest like he’s proud.
The fact that he thinks that about women enrages me.
I don’t respond and he sneers again. “Speaking of that. I need you to deliver some stuff to town today.” His ratty brows waggle at me as he says it. “This weather is fucking with my money. Get ready. You’re taking one of the other boys with you today. It’s going to be a long day.”
That’s when I understand the full scope of what they do here. They don’t just sell the girls… They’ve been selling us, too. Every time I fucked one of those town wives, they knew what was happening. I thought I was so smart and that I was hoarding money from them, but the Meagers knew. They sold us, too. My stomach curls as I understand what he’s saying.
This whole time… that’s why they only want teenagers… They’re basically our pimps. The state gives these sick fucks kids and they sell them… for sex…
I have to hold my rage and disgust in. I can’t let him see how much this upsets me.
He laughs again and stumbles out of the barn calling over his shoulder, “I hope you’ve got lots of stored energy, boy! You’re going to need it today. My customers are always satisfied!”
I’m going to be sick.
As he leaves the barn, I double over and lose my stomach contents. When I’ve completely emptied it, I dry heave until my eyes water.
Standing, I notice Rose hiding in the shadows near my room. Her face is white and she’s wringing her hands as she looks at me. I take a step toward her and she shakes her head to stop me.
She heard that. She knows what Tobias expects me to do.
Last night, I took Rose’s virginity because I loved her… and today, I’m going to town to fuck a slew of married women because they pay the Meagers for the pleasure. The money they give me is just lagniappe…
I whisper, “I’m sorry, Rose.” My voice trails off as a tear rolls down her cheek.
She swipes her hand across her face and stands up straight as she flatly says, “Call Sam, Jaye. The first thing you do in town is you call Sam.
“This ends now. It’s past time these sick bastards are stopped.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Rose
It’s been a few weeks since my night with Jaye in the barn. I haven’t told the girls about what happened, or that I spent that night with Jaye. They aren’t stupid though and they know that I never came up to the room that night. Neither have asked me, but they know the way that Jaye and I feel about each other. So, I’m certain they suspect something.
The temperatures have cooled considerably and it’s no l
onger unbearable to be outside. Raquel is having a hard time today. She’s pretty sick with the baby and she keeps dry-heaving because her stomach has no real food in it. Gabby and I are getting increasingly worried.
The Meagers don’t know that she’s pregnant and we’re helping her hide it, but with her stomach no longer flat… if she gets a male caller, everyone is going to know. We’re terrified of what they’ll do to her.
She’s puking a lot, so they think she’s just sick right now, but if it continues they’ll eventually figure it out.
We’re gathering eggs in the hen house and we’ve made Raquel sit down to scatter the feed. As we work, I’m filling them in on what’s been happening. Jaye has heard back from Sam and he’s vowed to help us. Jaye mentioned that he told Sam that Raquel was pregnant and that time was in short supply for keeping that secret.
Jaye is in town now, “making deliveries.” I don’t allow myself to dwell on it too much, because if he stops sleeping with the women in town, he could be forced to leave the farm and if he has to leave, our plan will never work.
He hates that he has to do it and I hate that the man I love is sleeping with anyone else, but we’re all doing what we need to do. I try not to think about it at all because when I do, it breaks my heart. I cry almost every night.
Tobias is watching me more and more and he’s getting bolder as my birthday approaches.
It’s only a few more weeks away and I know that if we can’t get out of here before that, it’s going to get bad. I’m not going to let them touch me. Any of them. I’ll kill them if they try.
The fact that I’m thinking like this should scare me, but the sad reality is that not thinking like this is giving up and I’m not about to do that.
All I do is pray that Sam can come through before my birthday. I’m not exactly sure what’s going to happen or even where we’ll all go, but Jaye has told me that he’s made it clear to Sam that we won’t be parted.
I’ve conveyed all of this to the girls and they are prepared to play their parts, but they’re absolutely terrified. We all are.
We live in a constant state of heightened fear and now that Raquel is pregnant… everything is so much more important.
We finish in the hen house and it’s very obvious that Raquel is not feeling well. Tobias is drunk and passed out in his chair and Bernice is locked in the kitchen doing whatever it is she does all day. I convince Gabby to take Raquel upstairs so she can lie down. They don’t want to leave me, but I know that Jaye should be back any minute. I plan to make myself scarce on the off chance that Tobias comes looking for me. I know that he won’t touch me. The seven thousand dollars is too appealing to him, but he isn’t opposed to cornering me and trying to humiliate or degrade me.
He has no idea that I know and even less of an idea that his payday is laughable because Jaye and I are together now and my expensive virginity is long gone.
We don’t run off just to have sex, but it’s happened a few more times and each time he makes it meaningful and special. Each time is better than the last and I’ve found that I actually enjoy sex… with Jaye.
I know that I wouldn’t with anyone else though. He fights himself every time and he tries to keep it PG between us. We kiss and cuddle and steal moments whenever we can, yet since the first time, of course we get carried away and we always end up naked together.
I’m in the loft of the barn, stacking supplies when I hear the truck return to the yard.
Climbing down the ladder, I head toward the front doors, but before I reach them, Tobias steps out from behind the feed barrels stored in the barn and startles me. Screaming in fright, I jump back and he cackles. “Where have you been, little Lily?”
I roll my eyes and try to walk past him. “My name is Rose as you well know.”
I don’t make it as he jerks my arm so hard my eyes fill with tears. Biting my tongue, I try to keep the painful scream in. His rancid breath washes over my face as he leans down. “I know your name, whore.”
My instinct is to yank my arm back, but I know that if I do, he’ll just pull harder. He gets perverse pleasure from seeing us in pain. Saying nothing, I look at him blankly, acting indifferent.
He twists my arm back and smirks as I can’t hold in my grimace from the pain it causes. “You think you’re so much better than us, you haughty little whore. Your time is coming and when it does… I’ll be there. Don’t think for one minute you’re better than anyone else here… Lily white you might be now, but when you’re deflowered and plundered… Screaming out… Begging for mercy… as we take what we want… I’ll be there. Watching and waiting… And when he’s done, I’ll take my turn.”
His finger runs over the cusp of my bust and I glare at him as his disgusting words fill my head and my tears threaten to spill down my cheeks.
My pulse is racing and my blood is roaring through my veins. But I refuse to give him the pleasure of seeing how terrified I am.
I stare at him stoically until an enraged voice booms through the doors, “Get your filthy hands off of her, Meager.”
He didn’t hear Jaye walk up so he’s startled enough to let go of me. Rubbing my arm where I know I’ll have a bruise, I struggle to walk out the door of the barn on legs that threaten to buckle beneath me.
Once I’m no longer in Tobias’s view, I duck around the side of the house and slump against it. I can’t breathe and the panic overtakes me. I can’t hold it in. I’m helpless to stop the attack that consumes me.
Minutes later, strong hands on my shoulders, from where I’m crumpled on the ground, cause me to shriek. Jaye’s voice calms me. “Shhhhh. Stop, baby. It’s just me. What did he say to you? I saw your face. What the fuck did he say to you?”
Through my tears, I tell him everything that Tobias said. His hands tighten on my shoulders as I talk. Finally, he jerks his hands back and punches the side of the house again and again until blood coats his knuckles.
Jaye is manic as he wails on the side of the barn. It’s clear to me he’s barely holding on to his rage.
I have to calm him down. “Jaye, stop. Stop. I know you want to beat him. I want to beat him, too, but we can’t. He’s goading us… baiting us. He won’t touch me. Not now… not until he gets his money. He can belittle me all he wants, but he won’t actually touch me. He wants the money and he won’t get it if he touches me.”
I’m lying. I don’t for one second think Tobias cares more about the money than taking me.
But Jaye can’t know that. I need him to calm down.
Please, Jaye… Calm down.
His hands cradle my face and lift my chin so I have to look at him. His blue eyes are tortured and tears are rolling down his face as he leans in to kiss me. His kiss is desperate and I answer it with a desperation of my own.
I can’t get enough. Jaye is my rock. In his arms is the only place I feel safe.
Everything around us is hell, but in each other’s arms, surrounded by each other’s love, we can overcome anything.
I have to tell myself that. I have to scream it in my head. I have to believe it.
Otherwise the darkness will consume me and I’ll be lost.
* * *
My birthday is in four days. Raquel’s heath is rapidly declining and we’re all worried about her. The Meager’s have made comments and even made an offhand remark about her being pregnant, but we all ignored it. We know things are bad and we know that the time is now.
Jaye has been making frequent trips to town, several a week, but it’s the only time he can call Sam, so it’s necessary.
He’s just pulled back into the yard from another trip and he looks exhausted. None of us are sleeping. Our nerves are shot and we keep going over everything that could go wrong.
He glances at me and quickly points to the barn before flashing his hand with the fingers extended twice. I nod as I get the message.
Meet me in the barn, ten tonight.
The rest of the day seems to drag on, but at eight, we head into the
house. Raquel is locked in the bedroom with a bucket and we’ve sort of convinced the Meager’s that she has the flu. Tobias is pissed because she’s been too sick to see the men who come out to the house. So, Gabby has been taking all of them. She keeps a brave face, but I see the self-loathing on her face every time she walks down the stairs to meet one.
I hate that she’s forced to do this.
The thought of just stabbing both Tobias and Bernice while they sleep has crept through my head more than once over the past month. That scares me.
Who am I becoming that the thought of killing someone is something I think about?
I don’t think I could actually do it, but it scares me just the same that it even crosses my mind.
As I load up a tray with chicken stock and some stale bread to take to Raquel, I see Tobias watching me from his chair. He leers at me and I ignore him. I can see him stroking his engorged dick with his filthy hand from the corner of my eye.
Sick bastard.
Climbing the steps, I glance back into the front room and see him yanking himself furiously as he chugs from the bottle of liquor in his other hand.
Shuddering in complete disgust, I climb the remainder of the stairs. As I enter the room, Gabby and Raquel are whispering. They stop when I walk in and Gabby looks away from me.
Quietly, so as not be heard downstairs, I ask, “What? What are you talking about?”
Raquel looks right at me and I’m taken aback by just how thin and pale she is. She looks like she could blow away with the slightest gust of wind. Her once bright brown eyes are now flat and dull. The sallowness of her cheeks clenches my chest. She licks her lips and says in a cracked voice, “We can’t do this anymore, Rose. We’re thinking of just running. Gabby can’t be used and abused anymore.” She points at her. “You know that twenty of those assholes from town have used her this week? Twenty.” She indicates herself as she says, “I’m not well. I’m pregnant and I don’t even know if my baby is healthy. I’m not healthy. I’m a kid. A shell of a person with another person inside of her. I don’t know if the baby is ok. I don’t know if I want the baby to be ok. I don’t know who did this to me.
