by Skye Turner
Wake up! God dammit! Wake up, Rose!
I don’t wake up.
Unblinking, I stare at the scene in front of me. Tobias… in a pool of blood. Bernice… lifeless… half of her face just gone. Jaye… covered in blood and barely able to stand… holding a shotgun. Naked. Glancing down, I realize I’m completely naked as well.
My mind screams in disbelief at the horror in front of me and I fall to my knees, unable to breathe.
A voice breaks into the screaming in my head… I recognize it, but I can’t make it out.
Finally, I blink and see Jaye through a haze as he crouches in front of me. He’s pleading with me. Struggling not to pass out, I make myself listen. “Baby, we have to get out of here. Come on. The barn is on fire. We have to get the hell out of here. It’s only a matter of time before the authorities show up.” I hear him, but I can’t comprehend what he’s saying.
We can’t leave. They’re dead… where are we supposed to go?!
He shakes me and my head lolls to the back. I don’t have the strength to hold it upright. He shakes me harder and I see him grimace. “Dammit, Rose! Snap out of it. I need you to snap the fuck out of it. We HAVE to go, Baby! Get up and grab your dress. We’re leaving. NOW!”
His words penetrate the fog. I sniff. “Is that smoke?”
His eyes are frantic and I can see the pain and worry on his face underneath all of the blood. “Yes, the barn is on fire. Tobias and Bernice are dead. Baby, we have to leave. We can’t be here when the townspeople arrive. Rose, listen to me. Snap out of it. We HAVE to go.”
I nod. The smoke is getting thick in here. I stumble to my feet as Jaye attempts to help me though he can barely move himself.
The time to freak out is not right now. Right now, we have to get out of here.
I can hear the horses screaming and thrashing against the stalls as they smell the smoke and the flames spread. Looking up, I see the entire loft engulfed in flames. In a panic, I scream out, “The horses. We can’t just leave them.”
Jaye nods and pushes himself to his feet. We’re in the middle of the barn. The horses are in the back, near Jaye’s room. Making a decision, I scream at Jaye, “Get out and get the keys to the truck. I’ll let the horses go.”
Jaye tries to argue with me, but I scream at him, “You can barely walk, Jaye. Go. Get the truck keys and fix the spark plug… Where is it? Do you know?” He nods and staggers to his feet. “I don’t know how long we have until the barn collapses and I’m not leaving the horses in here to die!”
He frowns, but nods again. The flames are spreading and the roar is deafening. The wood is splitting and crackling in the heat and the smoke is thickening by the second. He shoves me. “Hurry! Just open the stalls as you pass. They’ll run out. Don’t get in their way. Hug the wall. They’re terrified and will trample you.”
I nod as I take off. He weakly screams after me, “Be careful, Rose. And please hurry.”
I run as fast as I can through the barn. My dress is not fastened and is dragging in the dirt and hay as I run, but I don’t care. I flip the first lock and the horse runs past me and into the night through the barn doors that Jaye flung wide open. The second horse is kicking the walls, like he’s trying to climb out. As I flip the latch, he charges. I’m not out of the way and the door slams into me and throws me into the wall. The breath is knocked out of me and I gasp as I bounce off the floor. I feel something in my arm snap, but I don’t have time to stop.
I remember that Jaye has a large stash of money he keeps in his old bear, under his mattress, and race down the short hallway to his room. It’s so smoky back here that I can’t really see. Covering my mouth with my dress, I reach around to where I think the mattress is. I scream into the fabric as my hand meets the sheet. Reaching under it, I pat around until I find the soft fur of the old bear I’m looking for. Yanking it out, I shove it under my dress and turn quickly for the door. I can’t see through the smoke. Coughing and fighting blindly through the thick mass, I reach the hallway. The entire barn is engulfed in flames now and it’s so hot I can’t breathe. I can’t make it all the way through to the doors, so thinking quickly, I turn to the back and trail my hand along the wall, hoping to feel the door. The barn is shuddering and screaming behind me when finally I feel the latch. Turning it with all I have, it swings open. Running at full throttle into the night, I clear it just as the barn collapses in on itself with one final groan.
Giving it a wide berth, I run around the perimeter until I can hear the beautiful sound of the truck engine. I hear Jaye, Gabby, and Raquel all screaming for me. “Rose? ROSE? Rose?”
Launching myself at Jaye, I knock him to the ground. His tears cover my face as he squeezes me to his chest. “Dear God, I thought you were dead. I didn’t think you made it out. What the hell were you doing, Rose?”
Grimacing as my throbbing arm protests his tight hug, I nod at the bear in my hand. He shakes his head, but leans down to kiss me.
Gabby calls from the truck… “We need to go, y’all. NOW!” I see the other kids running away from the house and into the fields as fast as their feet can carry them.
Jaye nods as he sees them and says wryly. “They’re making their escape, too. I tried to get them to come with us, but they said they wanted to disappear.”
Nodding in understanding, I help him stand. He’s wobbly on his feet and I can’t hide my concern. “Can you drive, Jaye?”
He grimaces and says, “Probably not. Do you know how to drive, baby?”
Do I know how to drive? No, of course I can’t drive. How would I know how to drive?
He cusses as he sees the panic on my face, but then Gabby breaks in. “Get your asses in this fucking truck. I’m driving and we’re getting the fuck out of here.”
Jaye chuckles and I help him into the truck. The four of us are all crammed into the cab as Gabby puts the truck in drive and peels away from the farm.
She stops once we reach the road and we all look back at the house of horrors as the flames kiss the sky. Raquel mutters, “Burn baby, burn. May you enjoy your final resting place. I’m sure the Devil is happy you’re home, fuckers.”
Jaye and I look back as the barn continues to burn and it appears that the house is also aflame. He looks at the girls in surprise. “The house?”
Gabby shrugs and says, “Yeah, that whole place needs to be cleansed from the earth. Fire purifies, right?”
We nod as she once again tears down the road. As the flames disappear in the rearview mirror, we all look straight ahead.
* * *
“Yes, Sir. I understand. I told you. I was in the barn with Jaye. We were talking about what was supposed to happen the next night and Tobias came in. He caught us together and went crazy. He hit Jaye and almost knocked him unconscious and he tried to rape me. Jaye fought with him and Tobias knocked him down again. Jaye was weak from being hit in the head and then across the back and Tobias was going to stab him with the pitch-fork.
“I grabbed the shotgun and shot him. If I hadn’t shot him, he would’ve killed Jaye.”
Sgt. Sam McAllister is sitting across from me at the table in his apartment in Fort Worth. We’ve been here for a week and he keeps asking us the same questions. I don’t understand. We’ve told him over and over what happened.
Jaye called him when we finally got far enough out of town that he thought it was safe.
The cops already knew about the fire because some of the authorities were already watching the town and the farm in preparation for the sting the night after the fire.
None of us have been charged with anything. In fact, none of us have even been brought into the police station.
I don’t know what’s going on and I’m terrified because I’m just waiting for Jaye and me to be arrested for killing the Meagers.
Finally, Sam sighs and says, “Rose… I know that it was self-defense. I know what kind of people they were. I know that if you hadn’t killed them, they would have killed you both.
“Neit
her of you are going to be charged with anything. In fact… this whole thing is going away. I’m making it go away.
“But, there are repercussions. If I don’t arrest you, I can’t just let you go. You’re only sixteen. Jaye is an adult. He’s eighteen. You two cannot legally be in a relationship.
“Gabby is seventeen and Raquel is almost seventeen and pregnant. All three of you should be returned to foster care.”
I shake my head adamantly. “No… No, you can’t… I won’t go back into foster care. I can’t… You can’t separate Jaye and me. I need him. I love him, Sam. You love him, too. You can’t do this to him.”
He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks at me and the resemblance to Jaye’s blue eyes makes my breath catch. Reaching over, he takes my hand. “I know that, Rose. I said you should be returned to foster care. Because that’s what the law says and I’m an enforcer of the law.” He pats my hand. “But, that’s not what I’m going to do. You’re sixteen and Jaye is eighteen, but I know you love each other and I love him. He’s my son in every way that matters to me. So… you can’t be sixteen anymore. In fact… you can’t be Rose Hart anymore.”
My brow wrinkles as I try desperately to follow him.
He smiles at me and it’s sad. “You can’t be Rose Hart and he can’t be Jaye White. Gabby and Raquel can’t be themselves either. The only way to keep you safe from your past and what happened and keep you out of foster care is for all of you to become someone else.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I can’t be Rose Hart? But, I am Rose Hart. That’s my name. I’m not following what he’s saying. No, I don’t understand.
What is he saying?
The door to the apartment opens and Jaye walks in. His bruises are healing and he’s wearing the leather jacket that Sam gave him for his birthday. It was in the truck when we left.
He smiles at me and walks over to the table. My hands are nervously clutching at the delicate chain around my neck and I rub the small rose charm. He takes my hands and stops me from snapping the chain. Another man is with him and he followed Jaye into the room. They both sit down and Jaye leans over and presses a kiss to my head before turning to Sam. “Did you tell her?”
Sam nods and looks between the two of us. “I’m just getting to it now, son.”
Finding my voice, I quietly ask, “I don’t understand what’s happening. Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”
Jaye sighs and looks at Sam. They exchange a brief glance and I can see the uncertainty in Sam’s eyes, but he smiles at me and Jaye nods.
Taking my hands, Jaye leans over and gestures to the man with him. “This is Bill. He’s a buddy of Sam’s… We’re leaving Texas, Rose. Only… you can’t be you and I can’t be me. This is the only way.”
I look between the three men and say, “I still don’t understand, Jaye. What does that mean?”
He smiles and though he looks nervous, he leans over and brushes his lips against the back of my hand. Then, he says clearly, “It means… I’m not Jaye White anymore and you aren’t Rose Hart.
“Jaye White and Rose Hart no longer exist…
“I’m James Black, a twenty year old from Houston, Texas… and you’re Scarlet Lockhart, an eighteen year old actress from California.”
My jaw drops as I look at the men incredulously. Finally, I ask, “Really? An actress… Ok then… What now?”
Sam smiles and pats my hand as he looks over both of us lovingly and pride fills his face. “Now… you get to live, dear. Now you get to live.”
Bill smiles at me and says, “How about we take your ID photos now so I can create your existence. As soon as I get these printed, you two can be on your way.”
With disbelief and uncertainty on my face at the chance we’re being given, I look at Jaye… or rather James and ask, “Where are we going?”
He smiles at me and says, “Wherever we want to… Scarlet. How do you feel about California?”
Scarlet… It’s not that different from Rose. If this is what we have to do to have a real life, then this is what we’re doing…
California, huh?!
I think I could be happy in California.
Epilogue
Present Day
Another Christmas is upon us at our beautiful home in Louisiana. We’re surrounded by our family and this year, we have a special treat. For the first time in many years, our entire family is with us.
After the story broke about mine and Scarlet’s past and the horrors we’d endured, we were able to make contact with Gabby and Raquel, now named Isabella and Stephanie. Sam kept up with them through all the years and is even the godfather to Stephanie’s daughter, who is twenty-one now, and attending Sam Houston University.
The book about our life was a bestseller on three lists the first month it released and a major studio bought the rights to turn it into a screenplay. Filming starts in just a few weeks and will take place here in Louisiana. Scarlet and I are playing ourselves in some of the movie and we have creative input on the rest of the project. We helped cast the actors to portray us and we’re both very pleased with the ensemble.
As I look around with my arm around my gorgeous wife and the love of my life, AJ, while our children frolic and play with my first love’s children, I realize how blessed we are.
Scarlet and I, along with Stephanie and Isabella, endured hell. We literally lived a nightmare that could have easily shaped us into hard people. We could have become criminals or drug addicts. It would have been so simple to just become the same as the people we escaped from.
The life we lived was brutal. It would have broken most people… but not us.
No, we fought. Sometimes tooth and nail. We broke the law and did what we had to do to survive. We rolled with the punches and got knocked down, but we always got back up.
Life didn’t break us. That town and the Meagers didn’t break us. They might have bent us, but we stood tall. We fought through adversity and banded together. We lived and we loved.
We stuck by each other.
Alone, they would have defeated us, but together… together we’re unbreakable.
As I look around at the Blacks’ and the Lockhart-Hollins’ extended families, with all of those we love in the same place at the same time… thriving, I realize… we won…
Life won…
Love won…
And nothing on earth can top that.
Playlist
Blurry – Puddle of Mudd
Show You Off – Stevie Hoang
Haunted – Evanescenese
Blown Away – Carrie Underwood
Dance With The Devil – Breaking Benjamin
Night Changes – One Direction
I Want You To Want Me – Cheap Trick
Independence Day – Martina McBride
Thinking Out Loud – Ed Shreeran
Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
Burn It Down – Linkin Park
Titanium – David Guetta & Sia
Beneath Your Beautiful – Labrynth & Emeli Sande
This Is How The Wind Shifts – Silverstein
Creep – Radiohead
It’s Your Love – Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Here – Rascal Flatts
Made of Stone – Evanescense
Dangerous – David Guetta & Sam Martin
Not Broken Anymore – Blue October
If You Could Only See – Tonic
Ghost – Ella Henderson
Gasoline and Matches – Connie Britton
Take Me To Church – Hozier
Chains – Nick Jonas
It’s Not Over – Daughtry
Meant to Live – Switchfoot
Outside of Me – Daylight
No One’s Deserving – Daylight
I Lived – One Republic
I Don’t Mind – Usher/ Juicy J
On the Side of Angels – LeAnne Rimes
All You Wanted – Michelle Branch
Angel – Florida-Georgia Line
Every Time I See You – Luke Bryan
Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
Head Above Water – Theory of a Deadman
Let It Go – Cavo
Secret – Heart
How To Save A Life – The Fray
Fight Song – Rachel Platten
Stitches – Shawn Mendes
I’m With You – Avril Lavigne
Acknowledgements
Short and sweet.
Thank you to my Beta Readers: Kristin, Lindsey, Noelle, and Betsy.
Thank you Kari Ayasha of Cover to Cover Designs for my gawgeous cover.
Thank you to my fantastically awesome baby bro and cover photographer, Rich Roth and his bas ass wife, Lauren for assisting in the cold and mist.
Thank you to my PA and dear friend, Jess, for always being there and holding down the fort while I get lost in my words!
Thank you to my readers for buying and loving my work. I have so much more to share with you.
My two very best friends in the world, my Overanalyze This girls, Michelle and Tyf, I love you more than you know! Our daily conversations across the miles make my heart so happy as they tide me over between our adventures at events!
For my other amazingly supportive crew, the rest of my Circle… Gabbie Duran, Jaime Whitley, & Stacey Bentley… love y’all lots.
And finally, but most importantly… Thank you to my awesome, sexy, supportive husband, James, who is also the face” of James Black on both covers and the two perfect little hellions we created together. Writing is my job and my passion, but you three are my entire WORLD.
Letter from the Author
For my fantastic readers,
As you flipped through the pages of Becoming James Black, I’m sure you quickly realized this book is very different from my other works.
This was my first foray into writing a book about teenagers. However, it is NOT a Young Adult book.
Jaye White and Rose Hart were children throughout Becoming James Black, but the things they and the other foster children endured were far from childhood delight.
