I didn't expect it to end up like this at all.
Work is dragging. I'm falling behind on sampling some of the new stuff that we got in.
I'm having a hard time concentrating on a lot of things now that I'm back home.
Alicia and I were texting regularly and sometimes it got dirty, but she made it clear before I left that she's not interested. Not in anything permanent or serious. I haven't talked to her in a few days. Just had to take a break and get my head on straight-- not that it's helped, but I can't handle the teasing when she's not serious.
Fuck. I kept telling her that her aunt Vera was a bad team member to pick out a husband for her. I meant that Vera was bad for Alicia. Now I realize that Vera was bad for me.
The woman didn't put any thought into who she picked out for her niece. She liked me because of my job. She thought having a sommelier in her family would impress her social circles. Thought I'd be handy at the events she hosts.
Vera pretty much said as much, now that I think back on it. I remember her saying something to the effect that my marrying her niece would be an "elegant solution." She'd get her niece married off while improving her social status.
I rolled my eyes at her back then. I shook my head and thought the woman was as shallow as they come. The only reason I kept in contact was because Rhonda was genuine. Rhonda didn't see me as a "solution" to anything beyond wanting her daughter to find a good man and be happy.
If I'd been smart I'd have steered clear of that whole fucked up mess. But then Mom and Dad liked Alicia so damn much and even Greg and Leeza thought she was a good match for me.
Now I wonder what the hell they were thinking? What the hell could they have seen in Alicia's profile that made them think that she was anywhere near right for me?
Only way I'm gonna find out.
I wander into the kitchen at work and find Greg and hit him full on with the ton of questions that haven't let me get a good night's sleep for the last 2 weeks.
Greg looks at me, his eyes narrowing as he seems to see me for the first time, "You look like shit, Michael."
"Thanks man," I grumble, "That's not what I asked."
Greg waves his hand dismissively in the air and purses his lips in an expression that tells me he thinks I'm being dramatic.
"Well that's just the thing, Michael," he launches in with his serious advice voice, "You came to us asking to help your folks and some woman from the internet find you a fucking wife!"
He switches speeds on the mixer and adds a bowl of dry ingredients to the batter he's working. Greg is our pastry chef.
"You have been our resident manwhore for-- how long have you worked here, Michael?-- I mean seriously, you go through women like I go through sugar. And all of a sudden you're talking about a professional match maker and an arranged marriage and some of us might have been worrying you'd hit your head."
He makes me sound worse than I ever was. I point it out to him. "It's not like I juggled more than one woman at a time, or cheated on anyone..." I get cut off by his acid glare.
"Sure sweetie, whatever helps you sleep at night. How many girlfriends have you had in the last 2 years?"
I do a mental count and hold up my fingers. I think I'm doing pretty good since I can count them on my fingers.
Greg rolls his eyes, "I haven't slept with that many woman in my life."
"You're gay, Greg," I tell him flatly.
"Touche," he grins.
"Look, Michael, I don't know about your parents. They seem to just plain love the girl, but Leeza and I agreed that Alicia was perfect for you. She's not looking for anything right away. She was the only girl that wasn't itching to walk down an aisle. We thought the two of you were a good match, you know? Maybe you could date for awhile, get to know each other, fall in love the old fashioned way without all this arranged marriage pressure on you to jump start sending save the date cards."
I think about what he's saying while I watch him mix up whatever he's working on.
"So you're telling me you only picked Alicia because she wasn't in a hurry to get married? It didn't really have anything to do with compatibility?"
Greg continues to work in silence for a minute before switching off the mixer and looking at me like I'm not making any sense.
"Are you in love with her, Michael?"
It's a little too direct a question for my tastes. I stare at him blankly, not sure if I don't know the answer to the question or if I just don't want to answer it.
"Mm hmm," Greg nods at me and returns to his work, "so what happened, Michael? Why are you back here acting like a lost puppy instead of packing your shit and moving to California?"
I really don't want to answer that one. Instead, I drag up a stool and watch Greg pour the batter into tiny forms.
"Thought I explained that already, man," I tell him.
"You said she told you she wasn't ready to get married, you didn't explain why it's not moving in that direction. I mean, the girl did agree to sign up for this crazy set up, didn't she?"
I nod absently in answer.
"I met your match maker, you know. I mean, we talked-- a lot-- when I agreed to be on your team," Greg gives me a stern look down the length of his nose, "The woman does not play. If she took Alicia on as a client, it's because she believes Alicia's serious marriage material."
"What's your point, Greg?" I ask, "You saying she wants to get married, just not to me? Thanks man, that feels loads better."
Greg laughs and shakes his head like I'm being obtuse, "Did you two hit it off while you were out there or not?"
I can't hide the smirk. He knows we did. He and Leeza have heard the whole story. I remind him of that and he nods again.
"Exactly. She still answers your texts?"
I nod.
"And you are obviously into her," he gives me another one of those I dare you to disagree looks, "so why aren't you looking for a job out there?"
"Man, I told you guys this," I start only to get cut off by a wave of Greg's hand.
"You told us that she gave you a big talk about how she wasn't ready to get married-- which we all know is bullshit because she wouldn't have followed through with Raven otherwise, no matter how pushy her crazy aunt is.
"You told us she laid out her life plans all on the table and you gave up."
"I did not give up!" I insist, but maybe I'm starting to see Greg's point.
"Is anything she told you a deal breaker?" Greg asks, "Are you not OK with her running her business? Do you need to be a total Neanderthal and keep you wife barefoot and pregnant while you go out and hunt for your family?"
That's ridiculous and I snort in contempt of the suggestion, "Of course not. She's doing interior design. She's passionate about it and she's good at it. She's building a great business and getting some really high profile clients in a highly competitive market-- did I tell you she's probably going to be in Europe for several months next year doing a cruise ship?"
Greg's smiling at me, "Only about a million times, Michael."
I shut my mouth. He's right, I might have mentioned it. It's just that I'm really impressed that she's done so well with her business in such a short time and I'm really proud of her.
"Alright, so you're obviously smitten with the girl, why are you giving up so easily? Go get her."
"She's not interested, remember?" I point out.
Greg is checking dials on the oven and adjusting knobs while shaking his head again, "She's interested, Michael. Trust me."
He turns back to me, "You know, Leez and I are still on your team, we can still interfere if you're too chicken shit to make this happen on your own."
Alicia
This is ridiculous.
I was the one who told him I wasn't ready for anything serious.
I was the one who told him that getting married isn't on my radar.
Now I'm the one who's checking my phone 20 times a day, hoping I just happened to miss his text. Or his call. Or his...OK, so I miss him.<
br />
The first few days I thought I missed the dick.
Every time he texted me I felt giddy. Every time he answered one of my texts, I was downright goofy.
When texts got a little risque, it felt amazing. I'd go to bed thinking about him and feeling great because he made me feel like he missed me. Like he wanted me.
I loved that feeling because, God knows, I want him.
But it hasn't been all dirty words and innuendos. We were having real conversations too. Sharing our days with each other and often ending up taking our texts to actual phone conversations so he could explain wine or I could explain color theory and we'd stay on the phone till late night became early morning and our conversations wandered back to what we'd be doing to each other if we were together.
I've never done that with anyone else. Never sexted or talked dirty on the phone like that. I never felt that comfortable with anyone else-- or maybe I never wanted anyone like I want Michael.
Then, a few days ago, he stopped texting.
I shift my weight from foot to foot and check my phone again. No new messages.
I haven't heard from him in a couple of days now.
At first, I sent him the same little good morning text that had become my habit and gone on with my day. He still hadn't answered by 5 o'clock, and he's 3 hours ahead of my time zone.
The silence felt sickening but I shrugged it off. Sent him a little "missed you today, good night" message and let it go.
Still nothing yesterday.
Nothing today.
I'm trying to not to be paranoid. I'm trying not to panic. I'm trying not to get crazy and send him 27 messages and leave long-winded voicemails.
It's really hard though.
My brain screams through dozens of scenarios for reasons he could have lost contact. Ranging from he lost his phone, to he's been kidnapped and left to die on a deserted island. It's probably not that last one and I try not to listen to the rational part of my brain that reminds me that he'd get a new phone and my contact info would still be safe and sound so there's no reason for him to not get a hold of me to tell me all about his narrow escape from his kidnappers that resulted in losing his phone.
"Still haven't heard from him?"
Tabby's watched me check my phone so many times, I couldn't make up any more excuses for what was on my mind.
Plus, I needed someone to confide in.
I've been putting off telling Mom and Vera that I kinda gave Mike the brush off.
Vera will just go back to Raven and start in on round 2 of interviews until she finds me someone else.
I don't want someone else.
I shake my head and slip my phone back in my pocket.
Tabby gives me a sympathetic smile. She's got her own man problems at the moment, so at least I have someone to commiserate with. That makes it a little easier, at least.
Reminding myself that I'm the one who shut him down when he started talking about making another trip out here to see me, to check on job opportunities, to look at apartments-- to make an effort at being closer to me because he understood that I wasn't willing to relocate and because he thought we had something worth working on-- I try to ignore the way Tabby looks at me like she feels sorry for me and concentrate on work.
"Al?" Tabby has snuck up on me when I was busy pretending to be working.
I look up at her and notice my assistant is looking at me with a careful sort of worried expression.
"Yeah, Tab?" My voice sounds weary.
"Why did you tell him not to come back out here?"
I begin to launch into my schpiel, the same story I've been reciting to her for the last 2 weeks. The story I've been rehearsing for Mom, hoping that Mom will pass it along to Vera so I don't have to deal with her.
The schpiel I have to give to Raven because I need her to not try to match me to anyone else.
Tabby holds up her hand at me and gives me an uncommonly serious look, "No, Al, really why? Not what you're telling yourself why. You really clicked with this guy, you told him you didn't want to get serious, and now you're making yourself crazy wondering why he stopped texting.
"I know your aunt is a crackpot, and your mom's kinda going along with her because she wants grandkids, and I know you're not thrilled about them interfering but--"
Tabby gives me a timid little shrug like she's waiting for me to yell at her, "--but you filled out that questionnaire and went through all those interviews with the match maker and you said you were down to get married..."
She gulps hard like it's hard to tell me all this.
It should be.
"Alicia, maybe this Michael guy really is the one? and you just don't want to admit that because it would mean your crazy aunt did you a favor?"
I really don't like that what she's saying makes sense. I decide I'm not going to tell her that it makes sense but Tab can see it on my face.
"So go get him, Al," she tells me sincerely. "The man signed up with a match maker to find a wife, right? He wanted you and you shot him down. Fix it."
I'm about to launch into a dozen reasons it's not that easy but she's already moved on to her next project, leaving me standing here alone with my thoughts, my silent phone, and her words swirling in my head.
Michael
I haven't decided what to do yet.
OK, that's not exactly true. I know what I'm going to do, I just don't know how I'm going to do it yet.
I'm going to get Alicia...back? Not sure that "back" is the right word. Maybe I'm just going to get her? Get her to agree to give us a chance and see what we could have together.
I've already been in contact with Raven, so she knows what happened. I was more than a little surprised that she was so on board with helping me out.
Seems that my match maker is a lot sharper than she lets on. She's been aware that Alicia's team might not have Alicia's best interests in mind from the beginning and she only agreed to take on the contract after extensive interviews with Al.
"But Alicia isn't even interested in getting married," I pointed out in our phone call.
I was frustrated that Raven would take on a client that didn't even want to go through with the arrangement.
"She's not interested in trading the life she's living to become secondary to someone else's. That's not the same as not being interested in finding someone to share that life with."
Raven's words have been ringing in my ears for the last few days. Having to sit through her point of view, discovering what it is about me and Alicia that made her match us to each other.
It's creepy as fuck that she knows me so well after such a short time, that she knew exactly what I was looking for and found me exactly what-- who-- I needed when I wasn't sure yet myself.
I just wish Alicia had come to the same conclusion.
"She will," Raven assured me before we got off the phone. "Remember, she didn't volunteer for this, she still needs time to make it her own decision. Patience, and perhaps a little incentive, will go a long way toward that eventuality."
A little incentive.
That's why I'm here. Up at Mom and Dad's place, laying it on the line and cringing at my mother's smile that has that "I knew all along" thing in it. That look used to make me so mad when I was younger. I hated the idea that someone else knew me better than I knew myself...but I'm getting used to it these days.
"I just knew you'd love her," Mom tells me as she works in the kitchen.
I can see Dad working outside in his garden through the kitchen window. He made a hasty get away as soon as I started talking to Mom about Alicia.
"Your father just loves that girl," Mom assures me, "he's been worried sick since you got back from your visit and we didn't get an update."
Mom stares out the window and watches Dad pulling weeds and carrots out of the soil at the back corner of the property.
"You know how good your father is at this stuff though," she says almost to herself before going back to what she was doing.
> My folks are pretty typical, I guess, in an old fashioned sort of way. Together since college, couple of kids, couple of grand kids and itching for more. Dad's got a few years before he retires and Mom spends her time cleaning up after him and bitching about it.
I think they genuinely love each other.
I'm pretty lucky in the family department, I guess.
"We picked Alicia because she was perfect, honey," Mom tells me while she cleans.
"How was she perfect?" I wonder.
I mean, I know all the ways I think she's perfect, I'm just not sure how everyone else was so sure.
Mom stops her never-ending cleaning and stands on the other side of the counter, smiling at me, "You do like her then?"
My mother's eyes dance with a glint of mischief and I wonder what she's up to.
I nod nervously.
"Yeah Mom, I like her a lot. That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"I know," she grins, "Raven called me and told me your visit didn't go as well as she'd hoped."
"Oh." I'm not sure how I feel about that. I had a pretty heartfelt conversation with Raven before I drove up here to talk to Mom. I'm not sure I like the idea of her sharing that with my folks.
"Michael," Mom says my name sharply, "we're your team. The people who you trusted to choose your wife, honey. The woman who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You can't be mad at the woman you hired to make that happen. She has a job to do."
Mom's got a point, I guess.
"Now, how did we do?" Mom's back to her cleaning routine while she talks. I have no idea how she manages to find so much to clean in this kitchen. "Did we choose well for you? Do you like Alicia?"
Mom leans on the kitchen island across from where I'm sitting and rests her chin on her fists. When she says "like" she emphasizes it hard and I'm pretty sure she's really asking me if I love Alicia but is afraid I'll shut down on her if she says it.
I reach across the counter and take Mom's hands out from under her chin and smile at her, "Mom, you did great. Alicia's the right girl for me. I just might not be the right guy for her."
An Elegant Solution: Arranged Marriage Romance Page 6
