by Helen Phifer
They followed her along the corridor to an office, which was light, airy and smelt even nicer than outside in the corridor.
‘Please take a seat. Can I get you a drink?’
Adele shook her head. Will sat down.
‘No, thank you, but that’s very kind of you. I’m sorry to have to disturb you, but we really need to find out as much about Pauline as possible.’
‘Of course you do and I’ll tell you everything I know. She was such a nice lady, but she was quite shy and kept to herself.’
‘How did she manage to volunteer here then?’
‘She was fine with the patients and families. She was fine with the staff as well on a one-to-one basis. I think she was quite lonely, though. She never talked about her life outside of here, which is really sad. I can’t believe someone would want to hurt her to the extent that she died. It’s unbelievable.’
‘Did she have a next of kin on her contact details? It’s just we haven’t been able to find anyone except for her neighbour.’
Diane shook her head.
‘I don’t know what she did in her spare time apart from read. She would bring books in for patients when she’d finished with them. She didn’t talk about going out and socialising. She came on the works Christmas dinner, but I think that was more out of us pressuring her to come along. It wasn’t because she wanted to and she left after the dessert had been served. She didn’t drink at all.’
Adele seemed to be trying her best not to cry, her heart obviously going out to this lovely lady who had done nothing wrong except to help others who were in need of comfort. Will was stumped; he didn’t understand it.
‘Do you know if she upset anyone at all? Were there any angry relatives who blamed her for being with their loved ones when they should have been?’
Diane shook her head. ‘None at all; the patients she used to sit with and their families were so grateful to her for being willing to keep them company and give the family a much-needed break. I can’t imagine anyone ever getting angry with her over anything. None of the staff has ever heard of any problems either and, trust me, if there were problems they would know. I have a fabulous team here, but they like to gossip as much as the next person. Anything remotely scandalous would have spread around this building like dry rot.’
Will ran his hand through his hair, then stood up. Adele followed suit.
‘Well, thank you for your time; you’ve been very helpful.’
‘You’re welcome and I’m afraid that I haven’t really, have I? It would be easier to accept if she’d been awful and had lots of enemies, but this wasn’t the case at all with Pauline.’
Adele smiled at Diane. ‘Yes, thank you for your time.’
They left and walked back to Will’s car, neither of them speaking because they were both trying to figure out the motive for Pauline Cook’s murder. Will was so angry. They had nothing to go on. Usually by now the cracks would begin to open and the dark secrets would start to surface. Once you found out some information about someone, suddenly the once-perfect husband or wife wasn’t so perfect any more. There was nothing like this and he could feel the frustration building inside his chest. As he began manoeuvring out of the parking space he turned to Adele.
‘There has to be something. How can there be nothing at all on her? It’s as if she never existed or lived a life beyond her four walls and the hospice. What kind of existence is that?’
‘Well, your theory of a stranger killing is spot on then, isn’t it? What we need to think about was how her killer came across her. How did she come to be on the top of the most wanted list for some psychopath?’
‘You’re right. Let’s try and figure something out because the bosses are already pissed we have no leads. Only they’re not as mad as I am because I don’t like it. We’re missing some link and I can’t figure out what.’
He drove the rest of the way back to the station in silence. He knew Annie was really good at stuff like this. She would be able to do some digging and find him something on the internet. She might even be able speak to Pauline herself and ask her what happened. It would be great if she could put that weird talent of speaking to the dead to use; only there was no way he could ask her or tell her about it. If he did, that meant he was involving her too much in the case.
Even though she was still on maternity leave, everyone knew that there was a real possibility of it all going horribly wrong if she got involved. She had a habit of attracting serial killers and he couldn’t afford to put her at risk, plus there was Alfie to consider now. After Annie, Alfie was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he wouldn’t risk either of them. He needed to come up with some answers by himself. It was far less dangerous for his family that way.
Summer 1950
As Gordy sipped the cold bottle of beer, he couldn’t get the way he’d stuck that knife into Colin’s mother out of his mind. He’d enjoyed it far too much. It was such a satisfying feeling when it pierced the skin, cutting through the muscles and organs. He’d never felt so good, so in control. Colin had thrown himself into circus life and Barnard’s Circus would wonder how it ever managed without the helpful, strong lad who never complained or wanted to stop for a rest. The caravan door slammed open, snapping him out of his daydream.
‘God, those elephants stink. It took for ever mucking their cages out. You should see the size of the…’
Gordy held up his hand. ‘I can imagine, thank you, Colin. Spare me the details.’
‘Well, I’ve finished now, Gordy. Can you show me how to be Tufty now?’
Gordy looked down at the newspaper in front of him that he’d been trying to read. He felt his cheeks begin to burn when he saw the grainy, black and white photograph on the third page of Colin’s mother.
‘Woman Slaughtered in her Bed, Son Missing.’
He shut the paper, his mind filling with fear. Would they know it had been him? He didn’t think so because he’d left no clues behind. Have you, though? Did you really leave nothing behind?
‘Come on, Gordy, I been good like you said. I’m sick of cleaning animal shit. I want to be a clown like you.’
Gordy nodded and pushed himself up. Downing the rest of the beer, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He stumbled forwards slightly but then caught his balance. He picked up the newspaper and tucked it under his arm.
‘Give me five minutes, kid, and then I’ll do your face. If you keep hassling me then I won’t. Got it?’
__________________________
Colin nodded, not daring to speak again in case Gordy classed it as hassling and didn’t put the clown make-up on him. There was a breath of fresh air in the stuffy caravan as the door opened and Gordy went outside. Colin wondered where he was going. He heard the loud crash as the glass bottle smashed into the metal bin they kept in the middle of the caravans for them to put their stinking rubbish into. Colin smiled as Gordy came back up the steps. He felt a line of spittle beginning to form on his lips and wiped his arm across his face. He didn’t want to get Gordy mad and he might if he was dribbling everywhere like a fool.
‘Sit on the chair then, Colin; you’re as tall as me. I can’t reach your face that way, can I?’
Grinning, the lad sat down and closed his eyes, waiting patiently for Gordy to work his magic and turn him from being his slow, cumbersome self into a circus clown. It was the moment he’d dreamt about since that first night of the show. He’d sat at the ringside on his own, mesmerised by the performers, especially the clowns. He liked them because they made people laugh in a good way, not like the way the kids sometimes laughed at him and made him feel stupid. He wouldn’t get laughed at like that when he was a clown – only in the good way. Everyone would want him to be their friend, just like he’d wanted Gordy to be his.
__________________________
As Colin sat with his eyes closed, daydreaming about life as a circus clown, Gordy did his best to apply the clown make-up to his face; but it was difficult because his mind ke
pt wandering to the newspaper article. If the police had found her body, they would want to speak to Colin and might even try and blame him for what had happened. He wouldn’t let that happen. He would turn the lad into a clown and disguise him that way, keeping him safe. When he’d finally applied the bright red around Colin’s lips, he stepped back and smiled to himself.
‘Can I look now, please? Can I look?’
‘Not yet, you’re not finished. You need to look the full part, don’t you? Wait there.’
Gordy went into his bedroom, taking the wig off the stand and lifting his costume down off the hanger. He carried them back into the cramped kitchen area where Colin was still sitting with his eyes squeezed shut. He tugged the wig down onto the lad’s head.
‘Right, don’t look just yet. Here, put this on.’
He handed his costume to Colin who held out his hand, but didn’t grab hold of it.
‘Are you sure? Should I try it on? Can I try it on? Really?’
Gordy laughed. ‘Yes, you definitely can try it on. Go on, it should fit you.’
Colin stripped down to his vest and underpants. He carefully stepped into the suit, as if he was afraid that he was somehow going to damage it. For a minute Gordy felt as if he was having déjà vu. It was like staring into the mirror almost. Granted Colin was stockier than him and his head was bigger, but in the costume he looked pretty convincing as Tufty the clown.
‘Right, now you can go into my bedroom and take a look in the mirror to see what you think.’
Colin almost stampeded him out of the way to get to the mirror. Gordy heard a whoop of delight and clapping as Colin applauded himself and he couldn’t help but smile. The boy was so easily pleased and he made a pretty convincing clown; maybe this could work out just fine. Who knew? Colin could become just as much of a famous circus clown as the rest of them. It would be nice for him to be accepted by his peers instead of teased.
‘Well, what do you think?’
‘It’s the bestest thing I ever did see. I can’t stop looking at myself. I mean, is this really me or is it you and am I having some sort of dream?’
‘No, it’s definitely you. I think you make a splendid clown. How would you like to go to the big top and practise some stuff?’
Colin didn’t answer him. He ran past him out of the caravan and towards the huge red and white stripy tent. Gordy got himself another beer out of the fridge, unscrewed the top and followed him.
Chapter Fourteen
Annie walked back to the car park with Jake, who was rubbing his stomach and groaning.
‘Well, it is kind of your own fault. You didn’t really need to eat every piece of your cake and then finish mine off, did you?’
‘No, but then again, yes. Think of it this way: you paid for that cake. You didn’t eat it all so it would have been thrown in the bin and that would have been a terrible waste. So I needed to eat it for you.’
She laughed. ‘Oh no you didn’t, and next time you’re complaining to me that Alex is taking the piss out of you because you’re getting love handles, don’t expect any sympathy.’
‘That’s so harsh. Where’s my Annie Graham gone? She would never have said anything so cruel. What have you done with my friend? I want her back.’
This made her laugh even harder. ‘Jake, I don’t care what you eat, just don’t try and blame it on me if you feel sick. And your Annie’s still here. You know I am.’
He leant down and kissed her cheek. ‘I know you are, you mad woman. It’s much easier to get rid of the guilt when you blame someone else.’
‘I know all about that one. It’s very true. So what are you doing now?’
He waved the yellow polystyrene box at her. ‘Going to go back with a peace offering for the boss to see if it puts her in a better mood. She was so angry this morning and you know what a miserable cow she is when she hasn’t eaten. Mind you, sometimes she eats more than you and me put together and is still a right grump.’
‘I hope her and Kav are all right. I’d hate to think they were having a rough patch. They make such a great couple.’
‘Yeah, who’d have ever thought that, but they do.’
Annie climbed inside her car and watched as Jake got into the van. He started the engine and put the window down. About to shout something to her, he paused and began to talk into the radio clipped onto his body armour instead. He leant forward to press the button, which illuminated the lights on top of the van. The siren began to wail. He mouthed at her, ‘Got to go,’ and sped off at speed to get to wherever the emergency was.
She watched him go, a part of her feeling envious that he was still living his life and doing what he loved. She missed working with him and the thrill of an immediate response call. What she didn’t love was the fact that most of the IR calls were because of her. If they couldn’t work together, she didn’t think she’d be able to do her job as an officer to the best of her ability.
The fear of someone wanting to hurt her was always going to be there, in the back of her mind like some ticking time bomb. What if she froze in a situation that required fast thinking and put her own life or someone else’s at risk? Although that wasn’t really her style, she had so much to lose now that she didn’t want to think about putting herself in any avoidable danger.
She looked down at her hands, which were trembling. She could feel her heart beating too fast – just thinking about what situation Jake was going to. And just like that her mind was made up. She couldn’t do it; she couldn’t go back to working as a response officer no matter how much she loved it. She was far too conscious of the risks and what she had to lose.
This must be how Will felt every time he thought about her going back to work. Until this moment in time it had never bothered her. She would talk it over with him when he got home if it wasn’t too late. To say that he would be relieved when she told him her career as a police officer was finished was probably be a bit of an understatement.
As she pulled into her drive, Lily arrived and parked next to her. The rush of love Annie got at the thought of seeing Alfie again was overwhelming. She couldn’t believe how much she’d missed him in less than twenty-four hours. She jumped out of her car and ran to get him out of his car seat. He smiled at her and in an instant her heart melted. That kid was going to have her wrapped around his finger and she didn’t care one little bit.
‘Has he been good?’
‘He has been a little angel; he always is. Well, except for helping me to break Tom’s golfing trophy, but you did us both a favour, didn’t you, sweetie, because it’s a monstrosity.’
Annie laughed. ‘Oh no, poor Tom. Was he angry?’
‘No, how could he be when I’ve been telling him to move it for months? It serves him right. Anyway, I can’t stop, darling. I have to go and meet some ladies for lunch to talk about the next fundraising event. It’s all go, you know.’
Lily winked at Annie, who smiled. She hugged Alfie close.
‘Thank you for the break. I hadn’t realised just how much I needed one.’
‘Any time and it was all my pleasure.’
Annie carried her baby, who was now snuggled close to her with his tiny arms wrapped around her neck, into her house. She heard the heavy car drive away as she shut the front door. ‘Well, it’s you and me, kid. What should we do?’ His eyes were closing as she crossed to the sofa and lay down on it. No need to do anything, eh? Full from the coffee and cake, she sat down and pulled the throw over them both. It was cool inside the cottage, which was a bonus in the summer months and not so good in the winter.
Alfie was fast asleep and she felt her eyes begin to close. It was an automatic reaction. She had learnt fast that the minute a baby had a sleep, you did too, otherwise the days were long and exhausting. Content, she pulled her legs up and relaxed, her breathing slowing as she drifted off. Annie had no idea how long she’d been like that, until she became aware of the feeling of being awake. Only she wasn’t fully awake; it was a dreamlike state of consciousn
ess.
She looked across at her sofa to see she was still there, snuggled up with Alfie. How was this happening? How was she watching herself? It was freaky yet at the same time fascinating and she wanted to know how she was doing it or more importantly why she was doing it.
Turning to look the other way, she no longer recognised where she was. It wasn’t her house. Instead she was in a huge house that had been turned into too many flats. The smell of curry and spice filled her nostrils. Where was she? A door opened and she almost screeched to see a man in a clown suit walk out of it: the same clown suit that the killer in that house had been wearing.
She held her breath, afraid to breathe out in case he heard her. She had no idea if he could see her, but she hoped to God he couldn’t. He looked around then left his flat, closing the door behind him. He rushed out of the communal hallway, out into the front garden. Annie kept telling herself to find out where she was, where this house was. A voice in her head kept telling her to wake up, she had no business being here; but she couldn’t. How could she walk away like that when this could be vitally important to Will? And she was dreaming. He couldn’t see her, could he?
She followed him outside, realising she knew where they were. The house was one of the big ones along Abbey Road in Barrow. The outside was as rundown as the inside. How was he walking down Abbey Road dressed as a clown and no one was taking any notice? Then she realised just how dark it was outside. There were no cars on the road and no pedestrians. The moon was high in the sky. It had to be the early hours of the morning.
She watched as the man ran across the normally busy road and clambered over the metal gates that locked the park off to the public after nightfall. Not that it stopped many members of the public from using it because there were lots of other ways to get access; but where was he going? She knew she should follow him and find out. Crossing the road she somehow found herself on the other side of the gates – much to her relief. The last time she’d had to climb over these when she’d got locked in, her trousers had split.
