by Stephen Biro
Tiffany howls out as the pain sends her crashing to the floor. “What the fuck”? The pressure slowly subsides allowing her to take deep breathes. Sweat drips down her face and she hears more yelling. This yelling is not from inside her head though. It’s coming from a morbidly obese black woman with type 2 diabetes, whom of which spends her days rotting away on a worn out couch.
Just as her abdomen returns to its normal state hunger pains make a speedy come back. Once again she becomes light headed and saliva pours from her mouth. More deep breathes help Tiffany to compose herself. When she’s ready she walks out of her room with her mind strongly set on the task at hand.
“Where the FUCK have you been? You leave all Goddamn day and don’t even call to see how I’m doing!? Out being a slut again, huh? Don’t keep getting knocked up baby killer”!
Tiffany ignores her mother’s spiteful ramblings and goes into the kitchen for the bread cutter. A large, sharp, battery operated, serrated double blade. When turned on the blades move in unison to create smooth cuts through loafs of bread. She marches back into the living room and kneels at her mother’s feet.
“Girl you hear me talking to you. What are you- AAAAAAARRRRGG”!
Without a word and absolutely no hesitation Tiffany turns on the knife and saws through her mother’s Achilles tendon on both legs. Her swollen ankles resemble a sausage boiled to the point of splitting and they explode as such. The blades split the tight skin and rupture fat. A loud popping noise comes a mere second before a torrent of blood gushes, staining the couch and carpet. Her mother shrieks in pain and waves her hands like a mad woman as tears and snot streak her cheeks and lips.
“I’m tired of your shit, mom”. Tiffany explains. “I’m going to do what’s best for my baby, your grandchild, and I don’t need you running away or resisting”. She cuts into the bends of those plump elbows severing the brachial arteries. Dark red blood pumps out of the lacerations like water from a fountain. Her mother fixes her mouth to cry out, but the blood loss is too great. Her head bobs and nods as she fights the oncoming blackness. Her breathing quickens for three deep breathes then slows and weakens in concordance with the streams of blood that flow from her deep wounds. The fight in her is gone and Tiffany tears away the dead woman’s nightgown and brassier.
She cuts off the saggy breasts one at a time. Starting at the top she saws into the flesh making her way past fatty tissue and straight through milk producing lobules. Blood sprays into her eyes and mouth but doesn’t slow her down. The severed breasts fall and roll away from the body onto the floor leaving behind them a slimy trail of gore. At the sternum she cuts deep and drags the blade down. The abdomen opens wide spilling out pounds of spongy yellow fat. The cut isn’t deep enough so she begins again at the starting point. This time she’s successful and full organs are on display.
Tiffany reaches in with her right hand and pulls out great lengths of intestines. The pink ridged organ comes out in yards dripping blood and nocuous stomach acids. She yanks at the lower intestines to get them free of their hole. That was a big mistake. They rupture and globs of undigested food and fecal matter spill out onto her hands and shirt. The smell causes her to gag as she struggles to hold down her own bile.
The contractions hit her again causing the worst cramps she’s ever experienced. A gush of liquid pours out of her saturating her paints. Confused she takes off the tights, but before she can inspect anything her uterus hardens with another violent contraction. This one knocks her on her back which she arches, screaming in agony. Her belly swells to twice its size instantaneously and she panics. Something big is inside of her moving around boisterously. Whatever it is wants out and is fighting to do so. It’s pushing against her hip and pelvis and won’t give up. The bones weaken under the pressure and snap in half. The cracking sound is loud enough for Tiffany to hear over her own screaming. Tears run down her face as blood seeps out of her vagina getting caked up in her coarse pubic hair.
The entity in her is pushing its way out and she can’t stop the runny feces from gushing from her anus. The top of a tiny head crowns at the opening of her vagina stretching it to the limit. Her breathe catches in her throat as her walls meet their end and split. Her vagina rips downward joining her anus tearing that as well. A newborn baby emerges from the harshly made hole. It slips out of her womb and lands on a carpet soaked through with blood and shit. On his back the newborn baby boy cries out. His tiny hands and legs shake with each scream.
Tiffany is exhausted. She’s lost a lot of blood and is in shock from the pain, but she knows she can’t give up. Her baby is hungry. Reaching out she grabs a rope of fresh intestinal track and gorges. The chewy meat rips and tears as she feverishly eats like a mad dog. The foul juices shoot up into her nose and gag her, but she continues to feed.
Swallowing a huge mouthful she falls onto her back breathing heavily. The meal takes no time finding its way into the umbilical cord which still attaches Tiffany to her offspring. Thick sludge travels through the tube and into the baby’s stomach. Almost immediately the crying stops. Tiffany musters the last bit of strength that she has and props herself up onto her elbows so that she can see her baby.
A smile covers her face followed by teary, joyful laughter. She lies back down and relaxes. The gore covered baby is sound asleep. His fat belly rises and lowers with each breath as he makes little bubbles and sucking noises with his mouth.
“We’re gonna be okay, baby. I’m gonna take care of you and I’ll never let anything happen to you again”. Still on the floor unable to move Tiffany sings to her baby that lies at her feet. She dozes off during the second go of the lullaby.
The sun has reached its high point flooding light through the shades. Illuminated in the daylight is a grisly scene of carnage, but it also shows the loving bond between a mother and her child begin to grow.
Bath Salts: For Human Consumption
Jack Donnelly
Hungry People + Bath Salts = Yummy People.
Bill is a frustrated Bodega cashier working alone on a hot Miami summer night. He is just about to start closing up shop, but first he must take out the trash. He decides to reach into the glass case by the register and take out a packet of a new product called "Benny's Bath Salts". The store just started selling this stuff. Bill goes into the back of the store to see what this new product is all about. A minute later a customer enters just as Bill returns with a red nose and a small case of the sniffles. The customer is waiting at the counter for some assistance. Bill lifts up his index finger to symbolize (In a rude fashion) that he will return shortly.
Bill grabs the bag of garbage and heads out back. After putting the trash out, his nose picks up a devious scent . He follows it, and ends up walking towards a beautiful woman standing alone at the end of the alley.
Before he reaches her, a well-dressed man grabs her hand and they walk away together. Bill begins to walk even faster, however just as he's about to catch up, the couple get into a waiting limousine and drive away. Bill gets a frustrated and has a disappointed look on his face. The back of his throat starts to burn from the drip. Bill hears a squeaky noise and without hesitation steps down hard on the tail of a puppy sized rat. He picks up the rat. and he bites into the meaty part of its side. The rat lets out a high pitch squeal as the disturbed cashier takes two more large bites of rodent flesh. He is feasting away like its Thanksgiving dinner.
Bill enjoys the gigantic rodent even after all the life has been drained from it. He smiles big and beats his chest and yells out of frustration. Then without thinking twice about it, he flings the rat's carcass into the air and then cleans his hands, arms, and face with his apron. He looks around to be assured that no one else saw what he had just done, he doesn't trust the homeless people who live next door in Suitcase City, but he's not too worried about them either.
He then throws the bloody apron into the dumpster as he walks back behind the counter. He takes a Moment to catch his breath.
"Can I help you with so
mething?" Bill asks the next customer.
Next door to the Bodega in Suitcase city lives Rudy, he is a man that has been beaten and broken down. For the last two years Rudy has been homeless and living on the unforgiving streets of Miami. He has done his best to get by. Sometimes he goes without food, and sometimes he goes without drink. But Last week he had an epiphany. He dreamt up the blueprint for building the world's first functional time machine. The plans came to him while sleeping next to the dumpster of a Chinese restaurant. His head was comfortably wedged between an old public toilet seat, and a wet muddy cardboard box top. He dreamt of traveling back to the year 2006 to fix everything.
His plan was to cash in all of his investments before 2008. By doing this, there is a good chance he won't lose his upper-middle class deed restricted suburban home. This also means that his wife won't leave him for the Repo man. He views this as a win-win situation. He shows his fellow homeless buddy Ronald his newly built time machine. Ronald shuts him down before he can even explain how the contraption works. Ronald shakes his head in disbelief. He tells him that he's "Full of shit." then Ronald takes another look at the cardboard Time Machine, chuckles, and tells him to "Go suck a truckload of infected uncircumcised cock and die!"
Rudy gets depressed. He decides to go panhandle in front of the Bodega.
Inside the store, Bill the cashier looks into the mirror across from the register and sees the next customer enter the establishment. It's someone he knows, Toby. He decides to purchase the Bodega's finest bottle of Richard's Wild Irish Rose. Before leaving the store, he takes a glance at the glass display case next to the register.
He asks Bill "What do you call that stuff on the top left?"
Bill says "Oh, that stuff is called ‘Ethiopian Buffet’ it is our special potpourri. That is actually potpourri that you smoke, like weed. It's supposed to get you high."
Toby asks why the outside of the package says "Not for human consumption?"
The cashier assures him that the company just puts that on there for liability reasons. Toby then asks Bill "What's that other stuff on the bottom?"
Bill smiles and says, "Oh now you're speaking my language. That's our new product. It's called Benny's Bath Salts."
Toby looking puzzled says "You mean, people actually eat Bath salts? Salts for the bath?”
The cashier corrects him " No, they're not really bath salts. You don't put these in the bathtub and run hot water, and you don't give them to your Mama for Mother's day in a gift basket neither. No Sir. You snort it like coke, and you're off to the races." The cashier gets a serious look on his face, and says "It's a good fucking time!"
Without hesitation Toby decides to abandon the cheap wine and instead buy the entire box of bath salts, all six packets. Toby, again notices that the side of the packet says "Not for Human consumption." Toby smiles as he grabs Bill's black marker, and crosses out the word "Not". He shows the cashier the box, which now reads " Bath Salts: For Human consumption!" They both have a laugh. He thanks Bill and tells him to take care.
Toby sees Homeless Rudy standing outside the bodega. He gives him a dollar as he walks past. Ten seconds later Toby turns around and goes back towards Rudy. He asks Him if there is anywhere nearby where he might be able to duck into for a second? Somewhere semi private that he can go have a little Tootsarooski? He offers him another dollar and a key bump of his very own. Rudy accepts his offer, but warns him about his strange neighbor Ronald. He briefs him on how Ronald does not like to meet new people. It took him months to warm up to him. He tells Toby that Ronald probably won’t even acknowledge his existence, and talk right through him.
Toby says, "Well, he sounds like a real asshole." Rudy agrees and lets him know that’s exactly what he is.
Rudy welcomes Toby to Suitcase City. He brings him over to his cardboard box. He tells him not to touch a fucking thing. Ronald staggers towards Rudy and tells him that "While you were gone I think I saw George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Ronald Reagan come out of your time machine box." Ronald cracks himself up with that one.
Rudy is visibly pissed, but still has enough manors to introduce his friend to Ronald. "Ronald this is Toby, and Toby this is my neighbor Ronald." Toby smiles and extends his hand. Ronald gives Rudy a crazy look and walks away.
Toby says, "Rude asshole!" Rudy then reminds Toby not to touch his cardboard box, but he does get his permission to cut up a few lines up on a tray on top of the box. Rudy takes a moment to explain to Toby that his cardboard box is really a Time Machine. Toby laughs at the idea. Rudy feels a bit slighted by Toby reaction to his invention. Toby snorts up two monster finger sized lines, one for each nostril. He offers the next line to Rudy. After ingestion, they both close their eyes super tight for ten seconds. Then they both open up their eyes as wide as they can go. For a brief moment, they look at each other in what seems like slow motion.
Suddenly the mood gets extremely tense and their faces begin to look angered. They both quickly become agitated. Rudy's friend Ronald suddenly reappears. He says to Rudy, "Hey! Mr. Time Traveler. Mr. H.G. Smells! Go wash your ass!" Then Ronald kicks over Rudy's time machine box. And with a strong breath of halitosis, He calls Rudy "A washed up piece of corn-filled human shit." Rudy yells out in anger as he grabs Ronald by the back of the neck. He tears right into his face with his teeth. He then proceeds to feast on Ronald's right cheek. Ronald screams out in terror, as loud as he can. No one even turns around to see what's going on. Toby begins to break the two men apart. But with a change of heart he decides to join in with Rudy instead.
Rudy continues to eat the right side of Ronald's face, while Toby pops out Ronald's left eye. They both have a look of ecstasy on their faces as they claw deeper into Homeless Ronald's flesh. Toby has a confused look on his face, because he can't decide which part of the eye tastes better? The cornea, the retina, or the pupil?
He proclaims them all to be equally delicious. Rudy puts one of Ronald's ears in his pocket. Toby asks why? Rudy explains how it'll make a nice snack for later. Toby smiles and says, "Hungry people and Bath Salts, equals Yummy People." He takes a moment to smile, and breathe in some fresh air.
A second later Rudy yells, "Yummy in my tummy!"
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Toby sees the reflection of the lights of a nearby police car closing in. He is too intoxicated to warn Rudy. He knows instinctively that Rudy might be a liability and that he must look out for himself. He quickly hides in Rudy's cardboard time machine. He uses the box as cover as he slides away from the scene into a sea of other cardboard boxes in suitcase city. The second he gets a chance to ditch Rudy's box, he does so. He then smoothly slides into a group of three homeless men around a beautiful trash can fire. He offers one of a homeless men one dollar for a cigarette. One man agrees, and trades with him. Toby is now at a safe distance where he is in the clear, but still has a really good view of Rudy dealing with the police. As of this point, Toby is of the mindset that everyone is looking at him and knows exactly what he was involved in. No one does know, and no one could actually care less, but he keeps thinking they do. He's thinking, which one of these Bums are gonna sell me out?
Even though he is trying to distance himself from the scene of the crime, he is still moving slowly around it, trying to get a bird’s eye view.
He can clearly see Rudy ignoring the police request to stop eating his homeless friend Ronald's face. Finally, the officer refers to Rudy a "freak" before shooting him dead. With a last gasp of air, He looks directly at Toby and says "I told you not to touch my fucking time machine!" His entire body suddenly freezes.
Toby will forever be haunted by the memory of Suitcase City. He quickly leaves the scene and walks under the causeway bridge. He hides out on an old busted charter fishing boat and spends the rest of the night there.
Five hours later Toby wakes up gasping for air. While he was sleeping, the bath salt residue clogged up both of his nostrils. He cannot find a tissue anywhere on this old boat. He finally makes the
executive decision to blow a series of snot rockets. Once his nose is cleared, he chops up two fat rails of Bath Salts for breakfast. He still thinks strange people are staring at him. The only problem is that now those people are imaginary.
A moment later a dolphin gets his attention, Toby smiles back and tries to communicate through sound. For the next twenty minutes they communicate back and forth by making different sounds.
An old Cuban woman floats up to the Causeway on a homemade tire raft. She is using a broom for an oar. Toby finds this very disturbing. She's speaking at full volume in Spanish. She is thanking God for landing her safe in America. Toby gives her a look like she's interrupting something special. He does his best to ignore her.
The dolphin makes a noise and Toby smiles back it. As the Cuban woman gets closer to the boat he decides to strip off all his clothes. Once naked he grabs a large carving knife and leaps over the side of the vessel. He lands in shallow water. He instantly stabs the dolphin three times, as he bites into the dorsal Fin. Toby continues to munch away as the blood blankets the top of the water. The old woman begins to scream in terror as Toby continues to stab and eat. Toby then climbs back up onto the boat. The Cuban woman is screaming "El Diablo!" As she quickly turns her raft around. With all her might she begins to paddle with the broom back in the south west direction, towards Cuba. She paddles so hard that her broom stick snaps and she starts using her hands to paddle the rest of the way. Toby laughs uncontrollably, but then becomes silent as he looks down and notices his naked body completely covered in blood and dolphin guts.
