by Marian Tee
And now it was October again, and they hadn’t seen each other for nearly two months. Instead, the billionaire had to make do with video calls which, as exciting as Kharis could make them be – with the way she would randomly surprise him with a striptease or even pleasure herself in front of his eyes – were nothing like the real thing. Before meeting Kharis, there hadn’t been really a woman Christien had ever missed. He had even thought it was an illusion. But it was different now, of course. He knew now that to miss someone was to literally ache because things didn’t feel right without that one person. It came with a desolate sense of incompletion and barrenness, one made worse when you were already empty to begin with---
And tonight wasn’t any different, the billionaire thought broodingly.
Tonight was what Kharis liked to call their virtual work dates, with their phone cameras trained on each other while she tackled her homework and he worked on his laptop. Or at least he tried to. These days, he had a hard time concentrating on his work. Instead, all he wanted to do---
“I can feel you staring at me again, baby boy.”
He didn’t swing his gaze away from her as she lifted her head, and her face softened as their eyes met. “Miss me?” Her voice was wistful, the sound making his heart clench.
“You know I always do.” His voice was rough.
“I miss you, too. Badly. But…that’s your punishment.”
And so it was. He missed her, and she missed him, but Kharis had also put her foot down on banning him from visiting her until she was “ready.” Whatever the fuck that meant, the billionaire thought grimly. Right now, all he knew was that she was hurting as much as he was, and it was killing him not to be able to do anything about it. But then again, that was her plan, and it was the perfect revenge.
Putting her pen down, she asked him if he was done with work, and he shook his head. “It’s the same. I can’t concentrate. All I can think of is touching you---”
“Well, you know what you have to say if you want to come.”
The billionaire’s lips twitched. “Yes, you did make yourself perfectly clear with that.” And his pass was to finally take her virginity, which he still refused to do.
A movement from her side drew his gaze back, and he saw her fingers reach out to touch the screen. “I really miss you, Christien.”
“Then let me come to you,” he gritted out.
She shook her head. “Not if you’re asking me like that.”
What the hell did that mean?
He noticed too late that her brown eyes weren’t sparkling like usual, and he frowned. “Kharis---”
She gave him a smile, and he stilled. It was the ugliest smile she had ever given him – because it was fake.
“I have to go. I just remembered there’s this party I was invited to---”
“A party?” His tone was sharp. Since when the fuck did she like attending parties?
“I wasn’t planning to go, but I think I need a break.”
From studying…or from him?
He watched her silently as she started cleaning up her desk. He didn’t intend to stop her at all from leaving, but when he watched her reach for her cardigan, he heard himself saying her name.
Kharis.
She turned to him with that still-ugly smile on her face, and emotions he couldn’t quite name gripped his heart.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded in a low voice.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.” His fists clenched. “Is this still about not letting you study here in Miami?” She slowly shook her head, but the billionaire didn’t know if he believed her. He knew she understood his reasons, knew that he wanted her to live a normal life and that was only possible if he kept her at a distance. But knowing and understanding his reasons were different from what she truly felt or even if she agreed to them at all.
She suddenly shifted on her feet, a restless expression on her face. “I just really have to go. I’ll…call you later? Or maybe tomorrow. I’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I love you.”
And then she was gone, the call ending at the click of a button.
It was almost four in the morning when Kharis finally stumbled back into her dorm room, and as she fumbled for the light switch, a cold, silky voice spoke from the dark. “And here I thought you meant it when you said you didn’t like to party.”
The lights flared to life a moment later, and Christien saw Kharis frozen by the doorway, a shocked expression on her pretty face. She had paired a jersey dress with leggings under her loose cardigan. She looked perfectly prim, with not an ounce of skin showing, but it didn’t goddamn matter.
He knew how college boys were because he had been one himself. One look at Kharis, and those idiots would have been salivating at the sight of her, fantasizing what she’d look like once they had peeled off all her layers of clothing.
“C-Christien?”
He had everything planned precisely in his mind. He would talk to her one more time, explain to her why they had to be fucking apart and why he couldn’t fuck her the way they both wanted to.
But all of those thoughts disappeared the moment he heard that tiny slur in her voice.
So she really was drunk, just as her bodyguards had reported to him?
She had allowed herself to be drunk in other men’s presence?
He reached her in one second, and the only sound she was able to make was a soft gasp before he had slammed the door close behind her and hitched Kharis up in his arms. His mouth crushed hers in the next moment just as he pushed her against the wall. He grabbed the neckline of her dress as her legs clasped him by the waist.
Another moment, and one hard yank had the fabric ripping apart---
She whimpered against his lips, but he didn’t relent, even kissing her harder until her eyes had rolled back at the sheer heat of it and her fingers were desperately digging into his back.
When he finally lifted his head, she was panting, her eyes dazed, and he snarled down at her, “Why did you drink in front of other men? Why?”
Her lips parted, but no words came out because his mouth was back on her, and he was kissing her deeper, and he was sucking on her tongue harder. He knew he was being unreasonable, but possessive jealousy had completely taken over him. He couldn’t stop thinking of what could have happened, what may have happened, and jealousy churned more viciously inside of him even as his desire raged hotter. It didn’t help at all that she was making all these sexy little sounds, didn’t help that her body was soft and pliant under his---
His mouth moved down, and she arched her neck as his lips nipped her skin. “I must’ve called you a fucking dozen times.”
“I’m s-sorry!” The words ended in another gasp as he suddenly swung her off the wall and carried her to bed. She squeaked as he threw her down, whimpered when he followed after her and his mouth closed over one pink, pouting nipple.
He began to suck on it, and she moaned, her body writhing under his. When he bit her nipple, she started to scream, forcing him to clamp his hand over her mouth. Lifting his head, he grated, “Shut up if you don’t want people knocking on your door.”
Her eyes widened, and then she nodded jerkily against his hand.
Pulling his hand away, he started kneading both her breasts, his gaze pinned on her face. She covered her own mouth this time, and when he started sucking on her other nipple, he could feel the way her body tightened as she tried to control her voice.
Going on his knees, he tore off her leggings and her panties and when she was completely naked below the waist he lifted her hips up, tossed her legs over his shoulders, and ate her.
Her fingers clawed the bed, and her head began to toss and turn against the pillows. Her lips were trembling and her eyes were shining. But ah God, the way she fucking looked at him---
Lick me. Suck me. Eat me.
His tongue thrust harder and faster into her pussy, and she began to shake in his hold. When his mouth moved up to her clit, she began to bu
ckle---
He started sucking on the tiny nub, playing it with his tongue, tormenting it with his teeth, and Kharis’ orgasm swept over her in moments. As her cum flowed out, his mouth stayed on her clit, stretching the sweet, sensual torment until she turned limp in his arms.
When he finally let her hips back down on the bed, he didn’t waste another moment, getting rid of his pants and briefs. Her eyes widened the moment she saw his cock, and when he pulled her to him, she didn’t resist at all but instead crawled to him in eagerness. She took him in her mouth and began sucking him.
His fingers fisted her hair. “Harder, baby girl.” And she obeyed him, her mouth and tongue working more passionately to pleasure his cock until he was groaning.
“I’m going to cum,” he rasped.
The words were meant as a warning, but instead her hands only tightened around his cock, and the way she stroked his erection virtually echoed her silent words earlier.
I’m going to lick you. Suck you. Eat you.
And she kept her sweet promise, sucking him as he came, expertly and passionately, and with all the skills he had personally taught her.
When it was over, he lay on her bed and rolled her on top of him, his semi-erect cock nestled against the slightly moist folds of her pussy. None of them spoke for a long time, and dawn eventually broke outside her windows.
But just when he thought she had already fallen asleep, he heard her---
“I knew what I was doing.”
She rose up slightly, balancing herself as she planted her palms against his chest. “I did go to the party, and I did get drunk---”
“Did you want something to happen so you could get back at me?” he asked harshly.
“Do you really think I’d do something like that?” She smiled sadly at him. “I did it because one: I knew nothing would really happen. I knew you’ve had bodyguards tailing me since day one. And secondly, I knew that by going there---” She swallowed hard. “I knew I could make you get me.”
Ah. And his body jerked as his mind slowly and painfully started to grasp what she was saying.
“I thought I could wait and keep pretending until you were ready to tell me, Christien, but I just can’t. Maybe it’s because I’m young, maybe it’s because I don’t know better, but I’m just so tired of the lies.”
She slowly pulled away to sit up, and he rose as well, everything in him wanting to haul her back into his arms – but he couldn’t. He had no right, not when every word she spoke was true.
“You come flying to me when I say I miss you,” she said haltingly, “but you were missing me today and yet you didn’t want to come. Why? You tell me you want me to save myself for marriage, but is that really it? Is it?”
She stared at him with eyes that didn’t just wait. She stared at him with eyes that loved him, but worst of all, she was staring with him with eyes that knew.
“How long have you known?” he asked dully.
“A while,” she whispered.
He smiled humorlessly, thinking that most other girls would have pretended not to understand. But then – most girls wouldn’t have forced this confrontation in the first place. He had bought a beautiful house for Kharis and her grandfather, was paying for her schooling, and had made no secret of how much he wanted her. Most girls would have been delirious with the status quo and would never dare do anything to jeopardize it.
And yet---
Kharis was different.
She was his little mutant after all, and maybe…maybe this was one of the signs he was looking for.
He glanced at her, only glanced at her, knowing that it was enough. She would know what he wanted to hear next, and when she gulped, he knew she understood.
Because she was his little mutant, he thought.
His clown, his winking maniac, his rainbow, his everything---
And maybe it was time he allowed himself to truly believe in this.
“I knew it the same way you’ve probably guessed the truth about me.” And she gave him another one of her fragile smiles. “And you know, too, don’t you?”
Yes, he thought. But unlike her, he had known from the start. When a person spent as much time in hospitals the way he used to do, one inevitably learned to read the symptoms and know the signs without being told. The way she spoke, the way she thought and acted were all familiar to him, and the one time he had glimpsed the medications in her bag had only confirmed what he had long suspected.
“ADHD,” he said quietly.
A jerky nod. “But I’m lucky in the sense that I was diagnosed early. I had years to practice how to cope.” She then looked away, and the billionaire’s face turned grim when he noticed her start wringing her hands.
“Do you,” he heard her whisper, “think of me any less now?”
He whitened. “No.” And he reached for Kharis, forcing her to look at him. “Why the hell would you think something like that? I would never think less of you just because of that---”
“Then why,” she asked brokenly, “would you think I could think less of you because of your illness?”
His hands fell away sharply from her shoulders. “It’s not the same,” the billionaire said harshly.
“Because you have a different description and yours involve antipsychotics?”
The billionaire didn’t answer.
“Do you really think I’d care---”
“You should,” he snapped. “If you’re smart, you should care because I don’t even fucking know if what I feel for you is real.” He saw her flinch, and he swore. “Kharis---”
“You d-don’t love me?”
“It’s not like that.” He ran a hand wearily over his face. “I want to love you. I need to love you. And if I could choose who I’d fall in love with, I’d choose you. Again and again – over everyone else, except –” His voice turned numb. “Death. That’s your only rival.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
“That’s the thing.” But the smile that curved on his lips didn’t reach his eyes at all. “No one does, and believe me, I’ve seen all the best doctors in this world.” Taking a deep, heaving breath, the billionaire told her about the accident that cost his parents their lives and him, his soul. “Neurological damage is the generic umbrella term for it, but it’s anyone’s guess what that damage actually is. All I know is that it took something away from me. The ability to feel, to care – but when I met you…”
He hesitated, but it was as if she had read his mind, and she reached for his hand and held it to her heart.
You can still touch me.
You can still feel me.
Because I’m still yours.
And Christien could no longer bear it. He hauled her into his arms, and she went to him willingly. She laid her head against his chest, and pressing trembling lips to her hair, he whispered tautly, “Whatever it was that I lost, I thought…I could get it back…through you.”
Kharis’ arms tightened around his waist. “And did you?” she asked shakily. “Have you?”
“There are moments I feel like I found it the day I met you, but…” He sucked in his breath. “I’m terrified I’m fooling myself.”
“And that’s why you don’t want to make me yours?”
“Yes.”
“And why…you don’t believe you love me?”
Ah. He wondered why he was even surprised that she knew that. He cupped her face and made her look into his eyes. “Do you believe I love you?”
And she said simply, “Yes.”
His eyes squeezed shut.
“Do you remember the day we first met?”
He nodded.
“I wasn’t lying that time, you know. I knew you had a crush on me---”
“Kharis.” His tone was half-exasperated, half-tender. “You were ugly as hell that day. Do you remember that, too?”
“Uh huh. But I never said you were crushing on me because of how your eyes saw me.” And the smile that curved on her lips was…dazzling.
Like a glimpse of a rainbow---
“You were crushing on me because of the way your heart saw me. From the very start, your heart knew so…trust me, Christien di Luca.” And her smile became just a little bit more blinding even as her eyes started to shine with tears. “You love me.” She brushed her lips against his, and he tasted her tears. “You love me.”
And ah God, he wanted to believe her.
More than he needed to, he wanted – so fucking wanted to believe her.
“So…” Her voice shook a little. “R-repeat after me, Christien.” She waited for him to nod before saying very clearly, “I love you.”
And he repeated it.
“Now t-this.” And she took a deep breath. “I…”
“I…”
“Am going to…”
“Am going to…”
“Fuck you…”
“Fuck you...”
She started to smile in triumph.
“In your dreams, baby girl,” he finished.
The words wiped the smile off her face, and she wailed, “Christien! Don’t be such a---mmph!”
A kiss cut her protest off, and while she did try to struggle, it was obviously half-hearted, and in less than five seconds she was already sighing in surrender. Her lips parted under his, her body melting against his.
When he lifted his head, her eyes were still shining with the last of her tears, but she was also smiling. A crazy beautiful smile – and it was another glimpse of a rainbow.
Chapter 16
The shift in their relationship was inevitable, but the changes were so gradual that before the billionaire knew it, they hadn’t just become a part of his life. They were already a part of him. There was no Christien without Kharis, no Kharis without Christien.
