He thought back to what Becca said about meeting up with people going through the same thing. Already he found one who was just like him in so many ways. He'd have to give credit where it was due. Making a mental note to thank her later, Hunter forced a smile. "Are you my long lost twin or something?" he joked, realizing how lame it sounded. "I was just telling my girlfriend the same thing, wondering how this was going to work because I don't do the whole talking about my feelings well. She even has a hard time getting it out of me and I've known her twenty years."
A dark shadow crossed the man's face, but it disappeared as quick as it came. "Glad you have someone sticking by you through this. I saw you out there with her earlier. I was the idiot running late and darting past you. Twenty years, huh? What are you, childhood sweethearts?"
"Not quite. The two of us went through something two kids never should have, and we stuck together after that. It was only recently we both gave in to other feelings." He was glad they did. Whatever possessed him to tell this guy things, he didn't know. Somehow, he already connected with Jesse.
They walked into the room. Chairs were formed in a circle. A long table at the far side of the room had drinks and refreshments. Hunter actually found the environment warm and inviting. He wasn't sure what he thought the room would look like, but he definitely didn't picture this.
"Hi there! Welcome," a tall, skinny man said from his spot in the middle. "Looks like we have some new members today."
Hunter and Jesse exchanged a glance before finding seats. Here went nothing.
After a few minutes of settling in and people coming in and out, it was time to start. The man who had said hello earlier stood and introduced himself. "For those of you who are new, I'm Rick. I want to welcome you. I know talking about what we're dealing with isn't easy. I know for me it isn't, but I've found a safe place in this group with others who are dealing with what I am. The first few times are difficult because you may feel you're not ready, or maybe you don't trust anyone else to talk to them yet. That's okay. You can just listen and hopefully you'll realize soon that you aren't alone."
Almost word for word what Becca said earlier. Hunter wondered what she was doing. He missed her already. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he almost pulled it out to check, but didn't want to be rude. But what if it was Becca? What if-?
No, she was with Shara. She was fine.
Hunter's hand twitched, but he left the phone alone and tried to listen without spacing out. This was important.
When asked to introduce themselves, he hesitated. Jesse stood and went first.
"I'm not sure what to say here. My name is Jesse, and I lived through a traumatic event when I was nine. I had to do something no child should be asked to do. I don't know if I'm ready to share what it was, but I have nightmares and flashbacks about it all the time. I can't stop living it over and over again. It never ends." Then he sat down.
"That's a good start, Jesse. You don't have to share everything at once." Rick nodded, then shifted his gaze to Hunter.
If Jesse could do it, so could he.
Hunter decided not to stand, but he'd talk. "I'm Hunter. I just recently found out I'm suffering from PTSD. A few friends have been telling me for months, but it took one hellish night where I almost lost someone I love again because of it to finally see someone about what I've been feeling. When I was twelve, I was on a plane with my family and another family when our plane crashed. There were only two, possibly three survivors. I saved an eight year old girl's life and for five days we were alone on an island until we were found. I don't have a whole lot of memories of the crash and afterward, but I keep dreaming about it. I have flashbacks. I thought I had a handle on things until a few months ago." So far, so good. Hunter stopped to catch his breath as his words came out rushed "I became a pilot to overcome my fear and things started really coming back about the crash after I had a rough landing the night of my divorce. Really, the story gets complicated and twisted. You'd think it's something from a fiction story, but it's my life and I wish I knew what normal was." There came the rambling, but at least he was trying to get the words out.
"Whatever happened to that little girl? Did she make it?" Rick folded his hands together.
Hunter nodded. "She had a rough first few months. Traumatic brain injury. She didn't walk or talk the first few years, but I kept up with her. She's the most brave and inspiring woman I've ever met, and this past summer, we fell in love despite a bunch of things that happened. I'm telling you, I could write a book."
A few people laughed.
"You said possibly three survivors?"
He sighed. "Yeah. Here's where it gets tricky. Becca, the girl I saved and I don't really remember the third person. Becca and I traveled to an island near the crash site every year, and this year we were getting notes and threats. A few weeks ago-" He swallowed hard, not really wanting to get into the crazy plane ride with Carrie. But if it helped... "I had a nightmare and scared Becca and myself so bad, I ran out of the house upset. I ended up at a private airport. Becca came looking for me on my plane and the possible third survivor took Becca up in the plane with some accomplice. My plane was low on gas, the guy didn't know what he was doing and so the woman shot him before she jumped with a parachute. I think she's dead somewhere. My girlfriend fears she's still alive." Oh, the looks on these people's faces! This is what he did not want! "Before you ask, no, I'm not a writer. I'm not making this up."
Yep, he was nervous. Why did he have to add that at the end?
*****
"You keep checking your phone," Shara stated.
Becca sighed. "I know. I keep half expecting him to call or text."
They ended up sitting in a coffee shop a few blocks away while waiting for Hunter. Becca couldn't concentrate. She remembered the panicked expression on his face and even though she'd adamantly suggested he go tonight, she couldn't help but worry. Would he talk? Would he walk in there making them think he went and then leave? With Hunter lately, she didn't know.
"He needs this."
Becca agreed. "I just hope he went and didn't back out. He spends way too much time avoiding."
"Don't I know it. And you? How have you been?" Shara stirred the straw in her tea around lazily.
"Shell shocked with all of this, but I'm much better than I was. It got pretty bad for a while with Hunter and I." She thought back to the panic attack, the snapping, and the journal.
"Most people in your situation- Wait no. I can't even say that. Your situation is not something we see every day. But what I'm trying to say is, something like this can really break a friendship or a relationship. You two blow my mind with how much you've endured and you're still holding strong."
True, so true. "It looked grim for a few weeks though," Becca admitted.
"If I hadn't heard everything, I would never have guessed it by the support I saw in both of you tonight. All I know is that man loves you. It won't always be like this as long as he goes forward and gets past it. It's just ... I've seen way too much heartache come his way the past few years and I really like you. I didn't give you a fair shot in the beginning and we both know why, but what you two have is something rare." Shara let go of her straw and sat up straight. "I hope you don't quit on him."
Becca blinked at her bluntness, but she got it. "I wouldn't do that to him. He didn't give up on me when everyone else did, and I refuse to ever do that to him. I know how it feels for someone to quit and never give you a fair chance. I've been there."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." Shara's eyes went wide.
"You startled me, but I'm not offended." Becca's pulse raced when her phone rang. She reached for it, expecting to see Hunter's name, but the number was unrecognizable. Tentatively, she answered. "Hello?"
"Rebecca Lange? This is Officer Shroeder. I'm working the Carrie Wells case."
She almost dropped the phone. "Yes, what about her?"
"I'm hoping you could come down and identify her for us?"
Shara leaned forward with a concerned interest.
"You mean, she's been found?" Becca managed to say.
"We aren't sure ma'am. That's why we need you to come in and see if you can identify her. The thing is ... the woman we found is dead. Besides the young man who worked with her, you're the only one who might be able to tell us if it's her. We have no idea how to trace her family."
They wanted her to ID a dead body?
Bile rose in her throat. Hope faded. She'd never get answers! On the other hand, she could stop fearing Carrie coming back, too.
"I- how soon do you need this done?"
"Well you could come in now, or even tomorrow. The sooner the better."
"Okay. I could probably come by tonight." She wanted to get this done ASAP. No way would she be able to concentrate, let alone sleep tonight if she didn't go. Once she hung up the phone, she covered her face with her hands, letting the conversation sink in.
"Becca?"
"That was the police. They want me to come in and see if I can identify a woman as Carrie. They said she was dead. Hunter thought it was the case, but I always had a feeling she was still out there."
"Want me to take you right now, or wait for Hunter?"
Becca bit her lip, lost in thought. "If you don't mind, let's just go. If I can take a load off Hunter then I'll do it. I can do this." She chanted the words in her head.
"Let's go. We should be back in time to pick up Hunter." Shara grabbed her tea and purse and they were out the door in no time.
The whole way there, she wondered if the person was Carrie and how long she'd been dead. They wouldn't ask her if she'd been dead since the jump, would they? Oh, God she hoped not! No, no way! Becca covered her mouth and choked back a sob.
"You sure you don't want to wait for Hunter?" Shara asked.
"He already has enough nightmares. My mind is just racing and going places I'm not liking." Becca reached for her own tea, taking a few sips.
"You don't have to do this."
Shara was right in technicality, but she needed to do this for herself. She'd been so paranoid about the woman coming back to do whatever it was that she had to see for herself. They wouldn't have asked her if the body was...
No, she had to just stop! She could ask all the questions she needed to before doing this.
Still, her stomach flip flopped and threatened to send everything she'd eaten upward.
Covering her mouth, Becca leaned back, closed her eyes and tried to picture the view of the sunrise a few days ago. It was where she'd sat with Hunter on the edge of the dock and kissed as they'd reconnected. Good thoughts. Good memories.
It worked. She was much calmer by the time they reached their destination. Becca wished she had Hunter with her, but this was for the best.
Time to put the brave face on once again and get this over with.
Once they were there and inside, Becca gathered more information. The woman was recently found a few days ago. The identification she carried had Carrie's name on it, ect, ect ect.
She was pretty beat up though and no one knew what happened. Her face wasn't easily recognizable, but there was enough. Becca was told that she didn't have to do this if she couldn't handle it.
"We understand if you can't. This isn't easy for people to do, and your situation is pretty unique. We're just not sure who else we can ask. Maybe this will help you get closure, too."
Yeah, maybe. If it was her. But it wouldn't bring all the answers.
"No, I can do this," she stuttered.
Fifteen agonizing minutes later, she wished she hadn't said yes. She couldn't get the image out of her head.
"It sure looks like her," Becca muttered, turning away quickly as her stomach turned upside down. She bolted from the room.
Chapter Eighteen
Two hours went by fast, much to Hunter's surprise. With a Styrofoam cup of soda in hand, he walked out of the room with Jesse as he anticipated seeing Becca. He searched the lobby for her and Shara, but didn't see them. Maybe they were outside.
"You coming back next week?" Jesse inquired.
Hunter nodded at him. "You know, I think I might. I didn't expect this to help, but it did. What about you?"
"Yeah, I think so too. See you then."
"Hey, want to meet Becca? She's supposed to be here with a friend to pick me up. I'd love for you to meet her."
Jesse shook his head. "Nah, I'd better get home. Maybe next time. Have a good week." With that, he took off.
Odd, but Hunter shook it off. Jesse seemed the reserved type. He shrugged and went outside to look for Becca and Shara.
Ten minutes later, he was about to pull his phone out to call them, but stopped when the car pulled up. He ran toward it. "Hey! Where you been? Did you two have girl talk and forget about me?" he teased as he climbed in the back.
Shara was in the driver's seat, which seemed a little odd since this was Becca's car. When Becca turned her head to look back at him, there were tears in her eyes.
"Angel? What happened?" Hunter touched her face gently. His pulse quickened as he wondered what was wrong.
Becca sucked in a breath. "Carrie's dead. I just identified her b-body."
"Wait, what? Dead? Why did you have to ID her? When?" He ran a hand through his hair, taking in this information.
"We were sitting in a coffee shop when they called. The police said this was a unique situation. I had to know."
"Why didn't you wait for me?" The thought of her having to do something of this magnitude alone horrified him.
"You needed to be where you were tonight. It's not like you saw her anyway, so I figured I could get it done and over with. Now I just can't get the image out of my head." Becca choked back a sob.
"I wish I was with you." He leaned against the seat and held her hand, their faces close. "She can't hurt you any more, sweet girl. Be thankful for that. You don't have to fear her."
"I know," Becca said through her tears. "But I was hoping for answers. She knew something, and I don't know if we'll ever find out now."
"We will. Jed's good at what he does. We'll get answers." Somehow. Not that Hunter ever expected to get answers from Carrie if they'd found her alive, but Becca needed to know. With what her grandparents said and that phone message when Vince had apparently called, they'd been missing something all along.
Half an hour later, they were home and Shara had left. She told them both if they needed anything to call her.
"You're pretty sure it was her?" Hunter asked as he pulled Becca close.
"I couldn't forget her face even if I tried. I don't know what happened to her, but she had a lot of ... it was bad. But it still looked like her, what I could make of her anyway." Becca shuddered.
Seeing a body like that, it was something you didn't forget. Not after a year, not after twenty. He knew that all too well. Why the hell did the cops have to ask her to do this for? They couldn't have found a better damn way to go about it?
"Why don't I feel free? Why don't I feel relief?" Becca sniffed. "Oddly enough, I kind of feel bad. For her and her family, if she still has anyone."
"I don't know how you do it." Hunter pulled back and stared at her. "I feel so much anger toward her. I hate her for what she did."
Becca blinked, shaking her head. "I don't want to hate. I spent so much time hating what happened and that feeling isn't worth my time. I hated the accident. I hated the people who didn't understand. I don't want to be like that any more, so I made a vow years ago to let it go. I admit, it was hard the past few weeks, especially when I couldn't talk and I was paranoid. Still, it's not worth it. Let go of the hate, Hunter. Let go of the anger."
"I notice you have a lot more confidence when you're talking versus when you aren't. It's always been that way," Hunter commented. As for letting it go, that would take time but for Becca, he'd try.
She blinked a few times before giving a response. "When a part of me doesn't want to work, I guess I do feel less. It's not something I
can easily explain. Try having part of yourself not cooperate."
Hunter pointed at his head. "Right there. I think you've already seen my faults. Something inside my head is spinning my thoughts and feelings out of control. I do get it, Bec."
Her lips twisted in a strange way. "I didn't even think about that. Before this, you always seemed so confident. So much changed in our four years apart."
"Speaking of those four years apart ... Did you really think if you told me how angry and hurt you were that you'd lose me again?" Hunter held her hands in his, wondering her answer. "You never held back with me before, no matter what you were feeling."
With a sigh, Becca turned away.
"Hey. Whatever it is, you don't have to hold it in," he said softly.
"I wanted to. I figured if you were going to show up, I'd let it all out," Becca started. "But then I saw you standing there watching me on the swing and all I could think about was how I had my best friend and hero back." For a brief second, her eyelids lowered.
"I'm not a hero." How could he be? He kept messing up and letting people down, especially the ones he cared about the most.
Becca reached out to caress his cheek. "You don't get to decide that. I see you as a hero. It's not even that you saved me and stuck by me, but you made your life what it is. You faced your fear when you became a pilot. You built something stunning out of the worst tragedy. You put others first. Growing up, I always wished I could be more like you."
"If I'd done that, we wouldn't have been apart for four years-" he started.
Becca shook her head. "Please let me finish."
He shut up.
"At first, I stood up for you when my grandparents and Vince tried to plant doubts in my head. They said I was better off without you, and that all I ever did was beg for your approval to be able to go on."
He was about to protest, but stopped himself. Anger raced through his veins at their harsh words.
"The second year passed without you being there, and I realized I had to learn to go on without you. I never saw myself as fixated on you, but I do know I came to depend on you. For years, we'd talk and you always managed to calm me down. When I had doubts, your words and guidance helped. As I kept thinking about it, I wondered if maybe they were right." She covered her mouth with her hands, something Hunter found kind of cute. "I wasn't proud of those thoughts, but with you being out of touch I wondered if I was a burden. I already felt like one to them. I thought maybe you realized it was way too much to keep up with me. Then the anger came. I tried to give Vince a chance even though I knew where my heart was. With you." She pointed at him.
A Masterpiece Unraveled (The Masterpiece Trilogy Book 2) Page 17
