by Mimi McCoy
She dug deeper. At last, on an old piece of printer paper shoved near the back of the drawer, she found what she was looking for. It was a clumsy crayon drawing of two girls holding hands. They had blobs for heads, sticks for bodies, and arms and hands like lollipops. The girl on the left had two brown dots for eyes and a big red smile.
But it was the girl on the right that held Anna’s attention. Her eyes were colored in silver crayon.
Anna turned the page over. Any doubt she might have had vanished when she saw the note on the back in her mother’s tidy handwriting:
ANNA, AGE 4
“ME AND EMMA “
Anna stared at the words until they started to blur. She set the drawing down and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the thoughts that were swirling through her head.
Could she really have imagined her entire friendship with Emma? Anna tried to think of any other possible explanation — any reason that her new friend Emma might resemble her old made-up friend — but she came up with nothing. She didn’t have a single shred of hard evidence that Emma really existed.
Except one thing, Anna told herself. Jessamyn’s wallet. How else did it get in my locker?
An icy shudder went down Anna’s spine as the truth slowly dawned on her. If Emma wasn’t real, there could only be one explanation: that Emma and Anna were the same person. Anna had stolen the wallet herself, without even realizing what she was doing. It meant she really was crazy.
Chapter Thirteen
Anna had a hard time falling asleep that night. When she finally did she had terrible dreams: she was caught in a giant spiderweb, fighting to get free, but the more she struggled the more entangled she became. And when the spider appeared, it had her own face….
She awoke in a tangle of bedsheets, exhausted and shaken. Anna climbed out of bed and went over to the mirror above her dresser. Her hair was a dark snarl around her pale face, and there were shadows like bruises under her eyes.
“Are you crazy?” she asked herself. Her reflection gave no reply.
Breakfast that morning was a silent meal. The night before, her parents had decided her punishment: she was grounded for a month, and they expected her to come home right after school every day — no exceptions. Her father was even going to start leaving work early to be home with her. But now, having delivered her sentence, they seemed to have nothing left to say to Anna. All that morning they kept sneaking looks at her as if they were no longer sure who she was.
Anna wasn’t so sure herself.
She was almost relieved when it was time to go to school. But once she got there, she wished she was home again. She felt on edge, expecting to see Emma at any moment.
And then what? she wondered. How does it work when you’re crazy? Anna decided that if she saw Emma, she wouldn’t speak to her. The least she could do was act sane.
She was so wrapped up in these thoughts that it was a moment before she noticed something weird going on. In the hallways, kids were turning to stare at her. A few girls moved their handbags to their other shoulders as she passed.
It wasn’t until she got to her locker that Anna understood. The word THIEF was scrawled across her locker in heavy black marker.
As she gaped at the word, she felt someone yank one of her braids. Hard.
“Ouch!” Anna whirled around and came face-to-face with Kima.
“You are so dead,” Kima murmured, her eyes glittering dangerously. Then she sauntered off down the hall.
The next week was the worst of Anna’s life. She spent every hour of her in-school suspension shut up in a tiny room next to Ms. Turk’s office. She was allowed to leave only to use the bathroom and to get lunch from the cafeteria. But these moments were hardly a relief. The other students treated her like an outcast, and she lived in fear of running into Jessamyn and her friends. Anna had never felt so alone.
The strange thing was, she never saw Emma. Where was she? The question began to obsess Anna. After so many hours alone in the detention room, she was almost starting to miss her friend, imaginary or not.
On the Friday after Anna returned to her regular classes, she was sitting in English when a note arrived from the office.
“Anna?” said her teacher. “You’re wanted in Ms. Turk’s office.”
Again? What now? Anna wondered as she collected her books.
She arrived at the office to find the dean red in the face. “Come with me,” Ms. Turk ordered, marching her down the hall toward the gymnasium.
They stopped in front of the old girls’ bathroom.
Someone had written in red spray paint on the door of the bathroom:
EMMA LIVES!
“What is the meaning of this?” the dean demanded.
Anna felt her blood run cold, but she tried to keep her face composed. “What makes you think I’d know?”
“Emma? Wasn’t that the name of your ‘friend'?” the dean replied, frowning.
Anna stared at the graffiti. The red paint had dripped down the door, giving the words a sinister look. “Anybody could have written it,” she said. But she didn’t think that just “anybody” had.
“There are two other Emmas at this school, and I have spoken to them both. Neither one knows anything about this,” the dean added.
“Well, I don’t know anything about it, either. I’ve been in class all morning,” Anna told Ms. Turk. “You can ask my teachers.”
“I certainly will.” The dean’s eyes bore into Anna. Though it took every fiber in her being not to squirm, Anna held her gaze.
“All right,” the dean said finally, “you can go back to class.”
Anna hurried away, feeling both elated and frightened. Whoever she was, Emma was back. And maybe now Anna could start getting some answers.
She took her seat in science class and gazed straight ahead at the chalkboard, but her mind was racing.
She remembered the day they’d written their names on the wall of the abandoned building. That had been the day they’d promised to be friends forever. Was there some proof there? Some clue to Emma’s existence?
There was one way to find out.
I can’t do it, Anna told herself. Sneaking out of school was too risky. If she got caught, she’d be suspended for sure. And she was expected at home right after school.
Then she thought, But I have to know.
Anna waited until lunchtime, then she snuck off campus. She jogged all the way to the abandoned building. It looked the same as the first time she’d been there — empty, crumbling, forlorn. The only difference was that there seemed to be even more trash littering the lot than before.
She slipped through the broken chain-link fence and made her way around to the river side of the building.
There it was, written in bold red and black letters:
ANNA + EMMA = BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
Feet crunched over broken glass nearby. Someone was coming! Anna spun around, expecting to see a stranger, possibly someone dangerous. All her muscles tensed to run.
“I thought I’d find you here.” Emma smiled as she stepped around the side of the building. “Don’t look at me like that, Anna. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you weren’t glad to see me.”
“Who are you?” Anna whispered.
“Come on, you know who I am,” Emma replied. “I’m your best friend. You’ve known me almost your whole life.”
“No.” Anna shook her head. “It’s not possible.”
“It is possible,” Emma said, taking a step closer. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
There was a look in Emma’s eyes that Anna had never seen before. A greedy, hungry look that frightened Anna, and she backed away.
“You’re here now, but where have you been?” she asked in a shaky voice. “You left me at school. You let me take all the blame for everything….”
“Yes, I’m sorry about that. But it had to be done,” Emma said matter-of-factly. “You needed to be reminded what friendship is all about.”
“That�
��s not friendship!” Anna exclaimed.
“Isn’t it?” Emma’s eyebrows arched. “I took the blame for you for years, Anna. Don’t you remember? You blamed me for everything, and I never complained because I was your best friend. And then one day, Dory came along, and you just threw me away.”
“B-but you didn’t exist,” Anna stuttered. “You don’t exist —”
“Don’t say that!” Emma screeched. Suddenly, she snatched up an empty glass bottle from the ground and hurled it in Anna’s direction. Anna threw up her hands for protection, but the bottle smashed down next to her, spraying glass across her shoes.
“Do you need any more proof that I exist?” Emma shouted.
Anna shook her head. She was trembling all over.
At once, the anger vanished from Emma’s face. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said calmly. “But you must never say that again. You must never, ever say I don’t exist.”
A breeze blew off the river, bringing with it the scent of mud and decay. Anna wrapped her arms around her shaking body. “What do you want from me?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
“What I’ve always wanted, silly,” Emma said. “Just your undying friendship. And now we don’t have to worry about Dory or Benny or anyone else getting in the way. They don’t care about you now. Nobody cares about you, do they, Anna? Nobody except me. I care.”
As she spoke, Emma came closer and closer. Anna wanted to run, but her feet felt frozen to the ground. Like a mouse transfixed by a python, she found herself staring into Emma’s strange silver eyes.
“Don’t you see, Anna?”
On the word see, Emma’s eyes suddenly became two silver mirrors in which Anna saw herself reflected — not the frightened girl she was now, but a powerful, strong, confident Anna.
And there was Emma by her side. For Anna saw Emma in the mirrors, too, like her own twin. And look! They were laughing — laughing at everyone else, the whole world. They were having so much fun….
“Don’t you remember how it used to be?” Emma said, her voice low and soothing. “It can be like that again. I’ve been waiting for you, Anna. Now that I’m back we’ll always be friends. Best friends … forever.”
“No!”
It took every ounce of Anna’s will to wrench her eyes away from that hypnotic gaze. Emma reached out as if to stop her, but Anna slithered through her grasp. Skidding across the glass-covered pavement, she darted through the fence and ran away from there as fast as she could.
Chapter Fourteen
Anna ran until she felt her lungs would burst. Her heart seemed to pound a frantic chant: It’s not possible … not possible … not possible….
She didn’t stop running until she reached the school. Inside the doors she stopped, gasping for breath. She was clammy with sweat, and she shivered as she leaned against a row of lockers, trying to make sense of what had just happened.
Emma and her imaginary childhood friend were one and the same. That much was clear. By any definition of imaginary, that meant Emma shouldn’t exist.
And yet she did exist. Somehow, Emma had become real, someone with her own mind, capable of her own actions. Actions that had real consequences.
The rational part of Anna’s brain still didn’t want to believe it. But in her heart she knew it was true. The reason Emma had seemed so familiar to her right from the very first time they’d met was because Anna already knew her. She had always known her.
But something still didn’t make sense. If Emma truly existed, why could no one else see her?
The final lunch bell rang. The hallway started to fill with the noise of kids returning from the cafeteria. Anna watched them, feeling as if she was separated from them by an invisible pane of glass. They all seemed so happy, so normal, like they didn’t have a single care. Right then, Anna would have given anything to be like them.
Anna made her way through the crowded hall, so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the person in front of her until she bumped right into him.
“Hey, watch it,” said a not unfriendly voice. Anna looked up and saw she’d run into Benny’s friend Eamonn.
“Oh, hey.” Eamonn blinked at her and shook his head. “Wow. Déjà vu.”
“What?” Anna asked distractedly, barely hearing him. She was still thinking about Emma.
“I just had déjà vu,” Eamonn told her. “I swear I walked past you in the West Hall less than a minute ago.” He shrugged and laughed. “I must be seeing things.”
Anna stared at him. The round face, the dark braids — Emma looked just like her. That’s how Emma manages to be invisible, she realized. Everyone thinks she’s me!
“Anna, are you okay?” Eamonn asked, frowning.
Anna didn’t answer. She brushed past him and hurried down the hall, a feeling of panic rising in her. What other things had Emma done, pretending to be her?
“Benny,” she whispered to herself. If what Anna suspected was true, maybe he had been telling the truth after all. Maybe he really had seen her the night of his accident. Or he thought he had.
And Dory, too, Anna thought. She wasn’t lying when she’d blamed Anna for spray painting her lawn. She really thought she’d seen Anna outside her house that night. But why would Emma want to hurt her friends?
Almost as soon as Anna had formed the question, she knew the answer. “Because she wants me to herself,” she murmured.
A bell jangled overhead, making Anna jump. She realized she was standing alone in an empty hallway. Everyone had gone to class.
I have to talk to Dory, Anna decided. First things first — she needed to win back her old friend.
Just then, Anna saw Ms. Turk coming toward her down the hall. Anna glanced left and right, looking for an escape. But it was too late. The dean had spotted her.
“Anna Dipalo!” Ms. Turk bore down on her, looking like a cat that had cornered a mouse. “Why aren’t you in class?”
“I was just, um, j-just going now,” Anna stuttered. Ms. Turk’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Anna realized how guilty she sounded.
“You do realize that you are on probation, young lady. Do you not?”
Anna nodded meekly.
The dean looked around the hallway, as if wondering which locker Anna had just been pillaging. “Should I find out that anything here has gone amiss” — Ms. Turk drew out the word with obvious relish — “I’ll have grounds for suspending you. Now get to class at once.”
Anna scurried down the hall with a feeling of dread. Ms. Turk could send her to class, but it wouldn’t matter. Emma was still out there somewhere. And who knew what she would do next?
The next forty minutes were agony for Anna. As her Spanish teacher dragged the class through a series of verb conjugations, Anna never took her eyes from the clock on the wall. Between each tick of the minute hand, an eternity seemed to pass.
The more Anna thought about it, the more she was sure that she had to talk to Dory. Dory was smart; she would be able to help.
When at last class was over, Anna was out of her seat before the bell had even finished ringing. She was almost to the door when her Spanish teacher, Mrs. Marcos, called out, “Anna, I’d like to see you after class.”
Anna wanted to scream in frustration. But she scuffled reluctantly over to the teacher’s desk.
“Anna, are you aware that you’re failing this class?” the Spanish teacher asked.
Anna stared at her, confused. Failing? “I can’t be,” she replied. “I have an A —”
“You had an A,” Mrs. Marcos corrected. She ran her finger down a column in her grade book. “You haven’t turned in a homework assignment in over two weeks.”
Two weeks? That didn’t seem right. She’d done some Spanish homework recently, hadn’t she? Anna tried to think when, but she couldn’t remember. There’d been so much else going on….
The teacher was saying something else, and Anna abruptly tuned in. “What?”
Mrs. Marcos sighed. “I said,
when a student starts failing, I’m required to inform her parents.”
“No!” Anna blurted. “I — I mean, you don’t need to tell my parents.” Her parents couldn’t find out that she was flunking, not after everything else. They’d never be able to look at her again. “Please, Mrs. Marcos. I’ll start doing better. I promise.”
Anna felt as if her whole life was spinning out of control. But this time Anna couldn’t blame Emma, not completely. She’d done this to herself.
Mrs. Marcos pressed her lips together and gave Anna a thoughtful look. “I’ll give you one week. If you can turn around your performance in class, I won’t have to notify your parents.”
“I will,” Anna promised as she hurried toward the door. But she was thinking, One week? It didn’t seem like much time.
She’d missed the chance to catch Dory between classes, so it was another forty minutes before she finally made her way to Dory’s locker. Anna was worried that she might miss her again, so when she rounded the corner and saw her old friend standing there, she cried out with relief. “Dory!”
Dory looked over, startled, and that’s when Anna realized she wasn’t alone. Two girls named Melody and Kate were standing at her locker.
Anna felt a pang of despair. She’d counted on talking to Dory alone.
Still, she made her way over to them. Dory warily watched her approach.
“Hey.” Anna smiled brightly, despite her anxiousness. “I was wondering if I could talk to you, Dory.” She glanced at the other girls and added, “Alone?”
The way the girls’ eyes snapped to Dory, Anna knew that she’d told them why they weren’t friends anymore.
“All right,” Dory said after a moment’s pause. She turned to her friends. “I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute.”
Swinging their backpacks onto their shoulders, the two other girls started toward the exit doors, casting curious glances back at Anna and Dory.
Feelings of hurt and jealousy welled up in Anna. How could Dory have replaced her so quickly? “So, you’ve been hanging out with those girls?” she asked casually, trying not to show how stung she felt.
