Oil coated his cock, balls, and asshole, easing the way for the selection of toys Dmitry had chosen for the night. The sweat coating his skin made it hard to tell the difference between it and the lubricant. Dmitry stroked Josh’s oblique, barely brushing Josh’s erection with the side of his hand. His dick twitched as if trying to get closer.
“You are so beautiful, Jozsua.”
Josh took in the picture Dmitry presented. His shirt hung open, exposing a gorgeous chest. Dmitry was perfect in Josh’s eyes. Only the way his shirt clung to his overheated skin and the huskiness in Dmitry’s voice gave any hint as to how turned on the man was. Dmitry was the master at hiding his emotions. The way he always kept his every thought hidden made Josh want to make the man work twice as hard to keep him. Because, for Josh, it was love. It was love so fucking deep and wide there was no chance he wouldn’t drown. Possibly Dmitry might never love him in return, but he’d damn well remember Josh until the day he died.
“Don’t look so intense. I’ll be back in an hour to set you free.”
Josh blinked at the man standing before him. He’d gotten lost. The arms stretched above his head were the same ones that had been handcuffed to the bed so long ago. They didn’t feel the same. Now, they just felt cold. Isaac pulled a blindfold from his back pocket and slipped it over Josh’s head, plunging him into darkness.
“So tempted,” Isaac said, doing a good job of pulling Josh from his bleak memories.
“Me too,” Josh admitted before the man could slip away. Isaac’s sexy low chuckle followed him to the door. The blindfold heightened his senses. He listened to Isaac’s retreating footsteps and his near silent exit. Once alone, Josh inhaled a slow breath through his nose and tried pushing everything from his mind. An image of Ryan and Max filled his head. Both men had gorgeous bodies, as any fitness club owner and defense teacher would. Ryan matched Josh in height while Max stood a few inches shy of six feet. They were gorgeous. He’d once accidentally walked in on them kissing inside one of the fitness club’s many classrooms. Josh tried backing quietly away. Ryan’s gaze had locked on to him before he could escape. Perhaps that had been the moment he’d given himself away to the pair. His body’s reaction to the heated scene had been swift. Fire had raced through him. In that moment, he’d missed the erections bumping. The animalistic kisses. The beard burn.
The muscles in Josh’s stomach clenched. He hadn’t let another man touch him since Dmitry. It was his way of punishing himself. At least, that was what he told himself. He should be punished. No penance would ever be enough.
*
The guy working the door of Affinity had been easy to bribe. Dmitry watched as he escorted Jozsua inside. With his phone balanced on one knee, he ran through everything about the man’s body that had changed. His hair was still some crazy shade of blue, but it looked darker. He was harder, with more muscles, but then again, Jozsua had always been more amazing than most.
A thick layer of sweat coated Jozsua’s skin, making Dmitry wonder if he’d slip the cuffs keeping him chained to the bed. When they’d started this game, the room had been freezing. Now, even with his shirt unbuttoned and hanging open, the two halves clung to his overheated skin. Jozsua had more stamina and self-control than anyone Dmitry had ever encountered. The blue-haired punk. Fuck. The way he watched Dmitry’s every move, waiting for more of whatever sexual torture Dmitry had to offer, was intoxicating. Sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he hurt Jozsua. Not enough to damage him or mar his beautiful skin. Just enough to break his focus.
Dmitry peeled off his clothes before setting one knee on the foot of the bed. He held Jozsua’s gaze as the other knee joined the first. As he crawled up Jozsua’s body, a dark hunger rose inside him. Electricity filled the air between them. He’d worked his ass off to lure this man into his bed. Jozsua had made Dmitry work twice as hard to keep him there. Dmitry had never wanted anyone more. When he reached Jozsua’s midsection, something inside Dmitry gave way. His inner demons demanded satisfaction. Without thought, he dipped his head and bit Jozsua’s hip—hard.
The guttural moan coming from the back of Jozsua’s throat was his undoing. No more teasing or torture. Dmitry’s lips brushed Jozsua’s crown. This wasn’t something he did. People serviced him, not the other way around. The way Jozsua writhed beneath him was too much. He needed Jozsua to come undone. The man’s cock slid across Dmitry’s tongue before he accepted it would happen. Male salt coated his taste buds as pre-cum escaped Jozsua. Like crack, its flavor was an instant addiction. Maybe he was hooked on the taste of a turned on male. Dmitry knew the truth. It was Jozsua. He owned Dmitry.
Saliva dripped from Dmitry’s chin. Jozsua’s dick sawed in and out of Dmitry’s mouth. At some point, it had become a mindless act. His brain had been busy working through his emotions. Dmitry’s name slipped past Jozsua’s lips, sounding like a prayer. A tidal wave of emotions overcame him. Every secret he kept became crystal clear alongside the lies he’d told himself since setting eyes on Jozsua. Cum filled his mouth. Dmitry swallowed without thought. Juices dripped from his lips onto Jozsua’s stomach as he surged upward, claiming Jozsua’s mouth. There was no protest, only a struggle to get closer.
All thoughts of calculating each move fell away. Without a thought for protection and with nothing more than the oils they’d been toying with to ease his path, Dmitry pushed his way inside Jozsua’s ass. The sounds coming from Jozsua’s throat vibrated around their entwined tongues, driving Dmitry’s lust. Tight heat squeezed his dick, dragging moans from Dmitry. He tore his mouth away, needing to taste Jozsua’s sweat. His teeth scraped Jozsua’s jaw, taking in the rough bristles there. Jozsua strained against his restraints, begging Dmitry to fuck him harder. They were a dynamite C-4 crockpot bomb ready to level an entire block. What they had was fucking beautiful.
“I love you,” Dmitry said, hearing the first-time confession as loud as gunfire and not caring. It was true. He needed Jozsua to know.
“Oh, God, Dmitry. I love you too.” The deep chorus of Jozsua’s words rang true and sang to Dmitry’s heart, feeding the dark sickness growing inside him.
As his balls tightened, anticipating release, another emotion grew as well. Rage. The idea of anyone harming what belonged to him had Dmitry craving the sight of their life leaving their eyes. His orgasm hit, bowing his back and sending waves of ecstasy rolling through him. Dmitry sucked Jozsua’s skin, attempting to soothe the beast inside. Nothing worked. The growled words tore from his throat, sounding demonic mixed with their ragged breaths.
“Streets will run red before I let anyone touch you.”
It was still true. The face of his phone lit, pulling him away from his memories, and letting him know the deed was done. Jozsua needed to remember who he belonged to. He feared, if it didn’t happen soon, the streets of Vegas would run red. After all, he couldn’t have his man accepting propositions as he had tonight. The next one might be real. So too would be the bloodshed.
*
The door opened. A cold blast of air washed over Josh’s bare chest. One set of footsteps crossed the room. They were soft—like a wraith. He tried to decide which of the men walked in such a way. Neither Ryan nor Max came to mind. The cologne hit Josh first—leather and spice. Oxygen became harder to come by. His breath quickened. That scent. It tickled the back of his mind. The footsteps stopped before reaching him.
Fingertips brushed his stomach. Fire flared in their path. The button loosened on his jeans. His zipper slid down. Each touch was light and PG13. Josh’s blood boiled like he was ass up, getting fucked—hard. It had been so goddamn long since he’d felt anything at all. Cool air brushed his erection. Still no contact came with his cock. Josh bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood. He’d missed the raging desire. This crazy feeling of losing control had eluded him for way too long. His captor moved closer. The heat from the other man’s skin engulfed Josh.
“Jozsua.”
Josh’s heart skipped a beat a
s the softly spoken word brushed across his ear. The sudden onslaught of heart palpitations had nothing to do with lust. Only two men in the world had ever called him by that name. One was dead. The other…
“Dmitry.” The man’s name slipped past Josh’s lips, sounding like a benediction. He forgot his surroundings. Time slipped away. His knees weakened. If his hands hadn’t been chained above his head, Josh would’ve hit the floor. The scent of spicy cologne filled his nostrils and memories crowded his brain. Phantom sweat and male salt coated his taste buds as the image of the last night they spent together filled his mind. Even though the crippling pain was slow to set in, the power of his loss was no less overwhelming. So many things. This man, he’d stolen so much from Josh.
His brain screamed and fought against his body. He didn’t want to burn for Dmitry. Dmitry’s fingertips seared Josh’s skin with every brush as he trailed his fingers down Josh’s torso. As always with Dmitry, Josh was more aware of the man’s every touch than anything else in his life. With his shoulder, he pushed the blindfold up, needing the man to see his hatred. Max and Ryan were nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t imagined only one set of footfalls. Their gazes met. The blue eyes that were so light in coloration they were almost gray were the first thing he’d fallen hard for when he’d met Dmitry. They stared back at him now. Josh squeezed his eyes shut against the sight, wishing he’d left the blindfold in place. There was love and then there was the sickness he’d always felt for Dmitry.
Dmitry’s fingers brushed Josh’s hip as he pushed Josh’s jeans lower.
“Please?”
At Josh’s plea, Dmitry moved even closer. Josh turned his head, pressing his face to his arm to stop the man’s lips from touching his. Instead of forcing him, Dmitry brushed a light kiss across the shell of Josh’s ear. His lips moved lower before he opened his mouth over the cords of Josh’s neck. Hyperventilation looked like a real possibility. He couldn’t let this man touch him. There was no way to stop it. Why was he here? How had this nightmare taken life?
Dmitry stroked Josh’s hip again. “Please don’t do this,” Josh begged, beyond caring how despondent he sounded. He was desperate. This would break him. Staying away from Dmitry was the only way he’d held tight to his sanity these past couple of years.
Proving there was no mercy in Dmitry’s heart, his fingers encircled Josh’s erection. That part of his body knew what Dmitry could do and refused to obey Josh’s mind. He’d never been more torn between desire and hatred.
“I’m sorry,” Dmitry whispered, taking away the last of Josh’s hope. “I can’t stop. You shouldn’t hate yourself for this. It’s out of your control. Since you cannot hate me more,” Dmitry said, as he slipped to his knees, taking Josh’s jeans with him as he went. Josh’s eyes betrayed him. His chin hit his chest so he could stare down at Dmitry as the man took him between his lips. Dmitry was wrong. Hatred had no basement. It was a bottomless pit—one Josh couldn’t stop falling into. Neither could he ask Dmitry to stop.
As the man’s tongue curled around Josh’s dick, tears pressed at the backs of his eyes. They weren’t in helpless frustration as they should’ve been. They were for his loss. His broken heart. All he’d been left with when this man had destroyed everything. The dark blond hair covering Dmitry’s head and chin were as familiar as looking into a mirror for Josh. He’d ripped himself into pieces so many times trying to make this man whole.
Tilting his chin up, Josh stared at his hands, hoping if he didn’t see Dmitry, then he could force the pleasure to dissipate. Maybe then he could think. Even the loss of Dmitry’s gorgeous face didn’t deter Josh’s mind. It already knew the man he loved more than life was on his knees. He felt every taste bud. Josh’s erection slipped from Dmitry’s mouth. Josh bit back a cry of denial.
“Tell me to stop,” Dmitry demanded.
He couldn’t. Josh’s throat wouldn’t work. He feared it might never work again.
*
Jesus. He’d known it would be bad. Dmitry thought he’d mentally prepared himself for this encounter. He’d lost count of the number of lectures he’d given himself. There’d been no need to harden his heart. Dmitry didn’t have one. What little humanity he’d once had belonged to Jozsua. Not a single explanation came to mind for the tightness in his chest. He’d watched tears fill Jozsua’s eyes before the man had tilted his head back and focused on the ceiling. There was no denying matters. He’d done this to Jozsua. Never in a million years would Dmitry have believed himself capable of bringing Jozsua so low. In this case, he was hurting Jozsua so he could fix him—like re-breaking a bone to set it properly.
Jozsua’s cock slid across Dmitry’s tongue, making his eyes fall closed. His taste buds were in flavor heaven. As much as Dmitry knew there was no expiration date on grief, he couldn’t give Jozsua more time. His patience had a limit. No doubt, when these chains were gone, Jozsua would come looking to kill him. Dmitry was banking on it. One encounter could only lead to another between them. Dmitry forced his eyes open. Jozsua was back to watching him. His cheeks were flushed. The gorgeous blue eyes that had spent way too much time haunting his dreams held Dmitry’s gaze. Jozsua’s lips were parted on a pant. The desire to surge to his feet and kiss Jozsua was like a cheetah clawing at his spine.
Dmitry’s fingers dug into Jozsua’s back as he held the man in place and gave everything he had. When he felt Jozsua’s muscles harden, he hollowed out his cheeks and took Jozsua down his throat. A gasp ricocheted through the room as hot cum filled Dmitry’s mouth. Dmitry let it slide down his chin and run down his throat until he thought he might choke. He didn’t care. It was the best way to go and—most likely—the least violent of his choices.
He swiped his face on Jozsua’s stomach as he came to his feet. Jozsua turned his head away again, struggling for each breath with his face pressed to his arm. As tempted as Dmitry was to try to force the man to kiss him, he didn’t want to force Jozsua to do anything at all. Jozsua was so much better willing and when he handed over control. Dmitry’s stomach muscles clenched at the memory of Jozsua’s eyes losing focus—the man’s body relaxing into whatever twisted game Dmitry planned.
Dmitry fixed Jozsua’s pants because all of this was his and he wouldn’t be the one unlocking the chains. “We have unfinished business,” Dmitry said as he dragged his lips down the column of Jozsua’s neck. “I’ll be seeing you soon.” Without a backward glance, he left Jozsua alone. His body was hard and on fire, but physical discomfort meant nothing to Dmitry. It was his mind that sometimes terrified the hell out of him.
Chapter 2
At Jade’s first stirrings, Josh did his best to get her dressed, fed, and out the door before she woke up Kip and Cameron. Nothing soothed him like family, and his head was so fucking dark, he worried he could level the world. Jade was so much like Kon. Every time she smiled, it warmed his heart. In those moments, he didn’t feel as if he’d failed his brother on every level. His niece was alive, well, and happy. Kon would’ve loved that. Maybe, wherever he was, he didn’t hate Josh for everything, including last night.
“We’ll make a cowgirl of you yet,” Josh promised, trying to focus on anything else as he led Kip’s pony in a circle. Her tiny face was set in an intense line, showing her focus. Josh couldn’t hold back his laugh. She was too young to be so serious. Someday, she would give men hell.
“I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
Josh glanced over his shoulder at Kip’s words. Steam rose from the coffee cup between her hands.
“Ah,” Kip said, as if she saw everything. “Judging by the dark circles under your eyes, you didn’t come home last night. Good for you.”
“It’s not what you think,” Josh said, needing her to stop. “I had business.”
“That’s disappointing.” The grumbled words were obviously meant for Kip alone, but Josh didn’t miss them. She moved closer. “You’re allowed to have a life, you know?”
Josh nodded toward Jade “I have a life,” he reminded her. “
It’s a damn good one and all I need.”
“One day, she’ll grow up and get married. What then?”
Keeping his back to Kip, Josh shrugged. “Then she’ll have kids and I’ll spoil them. I’ll be everyone’s favorite uncle.”
A loud sigh rang out behind him. He knew then Kip wouldn’t let this go. “I know, with Kon gone, things aren’t the same, but Kon is gone.” Kip paused. Josh held his breath. When Kip spoke again, she brought his fears to life. “If you want to stick around as Uncle Josh for the rest of Jade’s life, her kids will be the luckiest kids on the planet. But, you know, there’s nothing stopping you from finding him.”
Josh’s throat burned. She didn’t need to expound. There’d only ever been one true “him” for Josh. The thing was, he didn’t believe in coincidences and her suggestion coming on the heels of seeing Dmitry was too much.
Switching positions, Josh brought Kip into his line of sight. He needed to see her face. “Have you ever heard of a place called Affinity?”
Oh, the guilt. It was written in her every line. She’d never been a good liar. He had her number. Kip knew it too because she didn’t answer.
“When was the last time you spoke to Ryan and Max?” Kip’s gaze danced away. She took a sip of her coffee. Kip didn’t understand. He’d kept the truth hidden from her and now it was coming back for him. He bit back the words. They would bring her to her knees, and he couldn’t do it, because some loyalties ran deep. “I love you,” he said instead, because it was easier than spilling the secrets he held. Her gaze bounced to his and stayed.
Kip’s features softened. “I love you too.”
“Please don’t do anything like that to me again.”
Tears filled Kip’s eyes, making Josh’s nose sting. “I just want you to be happy. You used to smile all the time—just like Kon. My clown brothers. Now.” She shrugged, looking helpless. “You’re not you any longer.”
That was because he’d died—murdered right beside his brother. By the man Josh loved more than life—the man who’d dropped to his knees at Josh’s feet only hours earlier. The pain was too big. Josh couldn’t hold it.
Uncaged (No Rival Book 7) Page 2
