“Do you mind if I talk to her for a minute, Grandma?”
She smiled. “I’ll get us a table, shall I?”
Annie hadn’t moved. She seemed perfectly content eating her dinner while her uncle’s sat untouched across from her.
“Is everything okay, Annie?”
She held up a finger, a signal for me to wait while she swallowed the piece of chicken she’d just popped into her mouth.
“Everything’s fine, Rennie. Why?”
“I just saw your uncle. He looked angry.”
“That’s his problem. When you tell lies, you run the risk of getting caught. And when you get caught, you deserve whatever happens next.”
“Your uncle lied to you?”
“You bet he did.” She said this to a few bars of some sappy Sarah McLachlan song. It turned out that was her cell-phone ring. “Sorry, Rennie. I have to take this.”
I made my way to the table Grandma had chosen. When I looked back at Annie, she was on her way out of the dining room, her cell phone pressed to her ear.
TEN
After Mom died, after the way it happened, after the way I felt and the way I acted, my teacher had talked to my vice-principal, who had called in the Major, who had then taken me to see a child psychologist. Everyone thought I needed help. Everybody told me over and over, It wasn’t your fault, Rennie. Even the Major said it. They didn’t know what they were talking about. They weren’t there when it happened. They didn’t know what came before.
A child psychologist wasn’t what I was expecting. The Major had to drag me there. And I do mean drag. I was hiding out in the bush behind school, and he found me, don’t ask me how, and gripped my arm while I kicked and twisted and tried to punch. He finally wrestled me into the car and drove me to one of those low-rise buildings filled with dentists, doctors and optometrists and shrinks. He pretty much pushed me into the guy’s office and retreated to the waiting room to, well, to wait.
Hi, I’m Pete. The psychologist—I know psychologists aren’t real shrinks, but some of them are as good as—thrust out a hand, sounding and looking like a salesman acting all friendly to clinch a deal. But it turned out Pete was okay. He would lean back in his chair, one arm draped over the back of it, and we would shoot the shit, as he liked to put it. He said a lot of things over the time I saw him. He did his best to make me talk too, which I didn’t at first. Not about what he wanted me to anyway. But sometimes we talked baseball or basketball—the pros, I mean. One time we debated comics versus the movies based on them. That kind of stuff. One of the things Pete was big on was this: the only constant in life is change.
Nothing stays the same, Rennie. Not that tree out there, not this building, not you, not the way you feel. Everything changes. Everything is changing all the time. When things get bad, you have to know they won’t stay that way forever. They’ll eventually get better. You won’t always feel exactly the way you feel now.
This is what he didn’t say: When things are good, you have to know they won’t stay that way forever. They’ll eventually turn bad.
Now I’d had a run of excellent days. I couldn’t help wondering when that would change. The day started okay. I had a great time on the slopes. I did some runs I hadn’t done before, and I met a guy named John who was staying at another resort but was on his own for the day and was a year older than me and knew his way around. We were on our way back because he had to meet his parents for lunch. I was going to check on Grandma, even if she didn’t think she needed checking on. When I paused to wait for John to blow his nose and catch up to me, I spotted something nestled way down on the snowy floor of the valley below. A winding road led up to it.
“What’s that?” I asked. “Someone’s ski cabin?”
“Ranger station.” John pulled on his gloves.
A car appeared on the road that led to the ranger station. It stopped when it arrived at the cabin, and a man got out. Even at this distance, I recognized him. It was Raj. There was no mistaking him picking his way through the snow in those shoes of his. They had smooth soles that gave him no traction. He hadn’t gone more than a couple of steps before his feet flew out from under him, and I was sure he was going to crash to the ground. He didn’t. With a lot of frantic arm and leg movement, he managed to stay upright.
“Are you coming or not?” John asked. “My mom freaks if I’m late—for anything.”
We headed back the way we had come, said we would text each other about maybe going out the next day, and I headed for the resort.
I changed and checked in with Grandma only to find that she would be lunching with a “fascinating” woman she’d met earlier that day. They were going to drive into town, Grandma’s crutches and all, for a lecture on the history of the Sierra Nevada. They would be back for dinner. Good for Grandma, I thought. It wasn’t my idea of a wild time, but it was better than her sitting by herself all day having no fun while I was out skiing and, more important, missing school. I was on my way to the dining room for lunch when I heard a yelp from the back hall, where the staff entrance to the kitchen was. It sounded like Annie. I pictured Raj’s face the night before when he had stormed past us, his face twisted in rage. I decided to investigate.
Annie had indeed yelped because someone was pulling her down the hall, away from the kitchen and toward the back door. But it wasn’t Raj. It was Derek.
“Derek, no!” Annie howled. She looked serious about it too. She wasn’t smiling or fooling around. “I’m already in trouble with Chef. I suggested some improvements to his chicken tikka—my dad made the best chicken tikka ever—and he’s been picking on me ever since. I’ve washed some dishes five times. He keeps sending them back saying that they’re filthy. He makes me stay as long as it takes to get it right. So really, Derek, it’s in your best interest to let go of me.”
“Annie, have a heart. I just got back.” He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close, despite the struggle she was putting up. I felt my whole body tense.
“I have to go. I mean it, Derek!” Annie was doing her best to wriggle free. Her face had turned red.
“Just come outside for a minute. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“It’s only been two days.” With a sudden burst of strength, she broke free. He quickly caught both of her hands and pulled her toward the exit. Derek was a lot bigger than Annie. A lot stronger too. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take him anymore.
“You heard what she said, Derek. Let her go.” I stepped out from where I’d been watching them.
Derek looked at me, puzzled. Maybe he was wondering where I had come from. Maybe he was wondering what his business had to do with me. He still had a grip on Annie. Slowly his expression changed.
“Were you spying on us, squirt? Or should I say, spying on Annie?”
“Let her go. She doesn’t want to go with you.” I stepped closer. Yeah, he was taller and older than me, and he was packing more weight, a lot of it muscle. But he didn’t scare me. I don’t scare that easily.
“Buzz off, fruit fly.”
“It’s okay, Rennie,” Annie said. “I can handle this.”
Derek grinned and tried to kiss her on the cheek. She pulled away.
“Derek, I wanted to tell you later, but you’re forcing me to tell you now.” Her face grew deadly serious. “I talked to my uncle. He’s pressure me to go back home.”
Derek’s face changed too. His smirk vanished. “No way! You can’t go back there! You can’t let your uncle decide what the rest of your life is going to be like.”
“It’s the way my family does things, Derek.”
I thought I saw a faint smile, but I don’t think Derek noticed. “My uncle thinks it’s time I got married. I told you about arranged marriages, didn’t I, Derek?”
He stared at her in stunned silence. He grabbed her again.
“I won’t let you go,” he said. “If he gets you over there, you’ll never come back. I know it.”
“Derek, you’re hurti
ng me.”
That’s when I lost it.
I lunged at Derek. He was ready for me. He raised both hands and shoved me hard in the chest. I staggered backward. By the time I caught my balance, my hands had turned into fists, and all I was thinking was that I don’t like being shoved. I didn’t think he was looking when I pulled my right fist back. He had turned back to Annie. I turned out to be wrong.
Before my fist could connect with him, one of his caught me on my left jaw, snapping my head around so fast and so far that I’m surprised my neck didn’t twist right off. I reeled backward and landed flat on my butt, dazed and literally seeing stars. I am not kidding.
Arms went around me. Annie’s arms.
“Rennie, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t feel okay. My whole head throbbed. Annie helped me to my feet.
“Get out of here, Derek! Just get out of here!”
“Annie, I—”
“Go! Go before you have to explain this.”
He skulked away. Annie turned my head gently so that she could inspect me.
“Can you open and close your mouth?” she asked.
I could, but it hurt.
“So at least your jaw isn’t broken. But you need ice. Come on.” She took me by the hand, and there I was, instantly transported to heaven. That’s what it felt like. I wished I was older and could get rid of Derek. I wished a few other things too.
Annie led me back to the staff entrance and into the kitchen, where three men bustled from grill to stove to burner, assembling meals for the guests. One of them scowled and pointed to the clock when Annie came in.
“I’m sorry, Chef,” she said. “But one of the guests had an accident.” She pointed to my face. “I need ice.”
Chef took a look at me and waved her on impatiently.
She steered me to a fridge stocked only with vegetables. There was a drawer at the bottom. She opened it. It was full of ice cubes. She scooped some into a clean tea towel, wrapped them all up into a compress and said, “Here.”
I pressed it to my sore cheek.
“Rennie, what are you going to tell your gran?” She bit her lower lip. She looked worried. It took me a second, but I got it. She was afraid I would tell on Derek. She was afraid I would get him into trouble.
“What do you want me to tell her?” I asked.
“I know you don’t like Derek, and I can’t say I blame you, the way he’s been acting. He’s not really like that, Rennie. But if Mr. Billingsley found out Derek hit a guest, he’d fire him immediately.”
If she was trying to buy my silence, she was going about it the wrong way. Derek gone forever was a tantalizing thought.
“I was teasing Derek, but I love him, Rennie. We’re working here for the rest of the season, and then we’re heading east. Derek is going to get a job close to Harvard.”
“Are you going to live together?” I knew it was none of my business, but I asked it anyway. I couldn’t stop myself.
Annie laughed. “I may be American, but I’m not that American. I told him nothing doing until we’re married.”
“You’re going to marry him?”
“I hope so. That’s what I told my uncle.”
I tried to hide how awful I felt. I was being as much of a jackass as Derek was. A different kind, but a jackass all the same. Annie was almost four years older than me. She had already graduated high school. She was so smart that she was going to be a doctor. What did any part of her life have to do with me? I’ll tell you what. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.
“I guess I’ll tell Grandma I fell.” I looked at Annie to see if that was what she wanted.
She let out a whisper of a sigh. “Thanks, Rennie.” She leaned over and kissed me on my good cheek. Then she reached for her big apron and those big yellow gauntlets of hers.
ELEVEN
I didn’t go back into the dining room. Instead, I went outside to cool down. But just being outside wasn’t enough. I needed to do something. I grabbed my skis and headed back to the slopes. I stayed out there for the rest of the day, until I was pretty much physically drained. But even that didn’t get Annie out of my head.
I knew she was way beyond me, but it wasn’t about that. I’d never met anyone like her. So smart. So confident. She knew exactly what she wanted, and I don’t just mean Derek. She knew what she wanted to do with her life, and she had worked hard for the opportunity. If she kept working hard, her dream would come true. She was a million steps ahead of me. I felt like a big loser because I had no clue what I wanted besides not having to live with the Major anymore—not the way he was now, not after everything that had happened. I hadn’t thought much about what I’d do after I left home. How was I going to support myself? What did I want to be? How did I want to spend the rest of my life?
The cop thing I’d told Annie? That’s what I thought I wanted when I was a little kid, before I’d met a lot of cops. But now?
I planted my skis in front of the snack bar and nursed a hot chocolate. My face was swollen, and a pretty good bruise was developing. Grandma wasn’t going to like this.
Someone did a throat-clearing “Ahem.” I looked up and saw the guy from behind the counter standing at my table. He was wearing a parka and dandled a bunch of keys from one hand. I also noticed that it was dark outside and that we were the only two people in the place.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. I grabbed my stuff and cleared out. I was heading for the back entrance to the chalet when I heard a voice. Raj’s voice.
“Is this better? Can you hear me now?”
He sounded frustrated. He was standing near the equipment-rental place, holding a cell phone to his ear. I figured he was having trouble getting a signal. I stepped back a pace so he couldn’t see me. Annie said she’d told him she planned to marry Derek. Maybe he was phoning home to break the news.
“Yes? Yes? am stuck in the mountains. In the snow.” The way he said it, you’d think he was chin-deep in a steaming pile of manure. “No, no, everything is fine,” he said. “There was a big storm.”
That was news to me. We’d had a little snow, but nothing that would qualify as more than a flurry.
“It will be another day or two before the roads are clear enough for me to travel out of here,” Raj continued.
What was he talking about? According to Rod, the roads into town were as clear as they ever were at this time of year.
Raj went on in a whiny voice. “But I assure you there is nothing to worry about. I will have the money. There will be no default.” He was silent for a few seconds. “Three days at the most. I will be back in three days, and you will have the money. One way or another, you will have it. That is a guarantee.”
Right. A guarantee from a guy who had just told a couple of whoppers. I remembered what Grandma had told me, that Raj had felt her out for an investment on their way from town to the resort. It sounded to me like Raj owed someone money. From the way he’d lied to explain why he hadn’t coughed it up yet, I’d have been willing to bet it was a lot of money. On top of that, his mother-in-law, Annie’s gran, was dying. Raj was not having a good year.
I heard Raj’s voice again. “It is me. We must meet. Now.”
He shoved his phone into his pocket and picked his way back to the chalet. With a sigh, I started to follow him. If Grandma wasn’t back yet, she would be soon. One way or another, I was going to have to face her.
I saw Annie on the way to the stairs, but that’s because I went out of my way to see her. She was clearly visible through the small round window in the kitchen door. She was swathed in her massive apron, her hair tied back and tucked under a white cap, and she was wearing the big yellow gloves that went all the way up to her elbows. She was standing on a metal step stool at a deep sink, scraping dishes, rinsing them and setting them into dishwasher racks. Clearly, she wasn’t rushing off to meet her uncle.
I continued up the stairs and let myself into my room. Without turning on the light, I tapped softly on the door between Grandma’s
room and my own. There was no answer. I twisted the knob and nudged the door open. She was already asleep. I guessed getting around on crutches was more tiring than she’d expected. It meant a reprieve for me. I wouldn’t have to explain anything to her tonight.
I stood at the window and saw someone walking up the driveway, away from the chalet. Raj. He was making his way to the road, still in those slippery city shoes of his that made getting a grip on the slope about as easy as grabbing hold of a greased pig, and if you don’t know what I mean by that, then you don’t have a grandma who grew up on a farm. With every step Raj took, one foot slipped backward, sending his arms pinwheeling as he tried to keep himself upright. I guess he didn’t have much experience with snow.
I watched him, waiting for him to give up. Where did he think he was going anyway? There was nothing up there but more snow-covered gravel—for miles and miles. But he didn’t quit. He kept inching his way closer to the top of the driveway. After a while he figured out that if he went up sideways, he could dig the uphill edge of his shoes into the snow, like you do when you go up a hill sideways on your skis. He wasn’t any fun to watch after that. I undressed and got into bed. But I didn’t stay there. I couldn’t. My body wasn’t ready to relax. Not even close.
I got up again and checked on Raj. He’d made it up to the road and was standing beside a truck, leaning into it. It looked to me like he was having a conversation with the driver. I hoped the poor guy wasn’t asking for directions. Raj reached under his overcoat and pulled out something. I couldn’t see what it was, but he handed it through the window to the driver of the truck. He stood there a little longer, talking—I guess, because his arms were flying out in all directions. A lot of people wave their arms around when they talk. Not a lot of people wave them around when they’re listening to someone else talk.
Raj finally stepped away from the truck and watched from the side of the road while the driver turned to go back in the direction he’d come. I couldn’t make out who Raj had been talking to, but the truck had a logo on the side of it. I could tell by its shape and by the splotch of its dark color against the truck body’s light-colored paint job. After the truck had left, Raj started back down the hill. I stayed to watch and was glad I did. Those slippery shoes landed him on his butt three times before he made it to the bottom.
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