by Maya Banks
Page 11
Michael slid out of her mouth, though she knew he hadn’t come, and she slumped forward onto Dillon’s chest as Seth shuddered behind her, in the throes of his own orgasm.
Dillon twitched, arched his hips up one last time and then he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms solidly around her, holding her as he poured himself into her body.
For the longest time, she lay there, softly panting, eyes closed as she savored the aftermath. All too soon, Dillon shifted and then she found herself lifted into Michael’s arms. He turned, rolling with her so she was nestled into his side on the bed.
She snuggled into his embrace, tangling her legs with his. She wanted to be close. Didn’t want any space between them.
And then Seth was behind her, molding himself to her back, one leg thrown over hers so she was completely and utterly surrounded by him and Michael.
She smiled against Michael’s neck. This was love. This was her life.
This was home.
CHAPTER 11
CALLIE sat at the vanity in her bedroom brushing her hair, but her gaze never left Max as he shrugged out of his shirt and prepared to go shower.
He wouldn’t take long. He never did. Not when he showered alone. Which he’d been doing with increasing frequency lately.
Usually … She stroked through her hair again and frowned as she watched him disappear into the bathroom. Usually he took her into the shower, washed her hair and every inch of her body. Then and only then did he quickly see to his own shower, and when they were done, he’d dry her body and her hair and then she’d await his next instruction.
Chill bumps danced across her skin at the memory of some of those instructions.
One simply never knew with Max.
His power and his confidence enticed her. His dominance gave her a measure of comfort nothing else could.
In his arms, she was free to be herself. He was her center, her anchor. A safe haven for her free spirit and wanderlust. Because no matter where she went, where she was, if she was with Max, she was home.
She continued to brush her hair even though there wasn’t a single knot and the strands were starting to fuzz out from static electricity. She was waiting. For Max.
Max wasn’t himself, but then she could hardly blame him. His focus was on Lauren. But what Callie didn’t like was the way Max seemed to be pushing Callie away.
She understood his worry and his concern. Knew that he was preoccupied with thoughts of his sister. But Callie was his wife and they were supposed to share everything. She knew without a doubt that if she had a family issue, he’d be by her side, involved up to his nose, and he’d do whatever he had to in order to help or support her.
She looked up when the door to the bathroom opened. Max stepped out still toweling his hair dry and wearing only a towel around his waist.
Her mouth went dry because the man was simply gorgeous. He still took her breath away. Still made her heart do this silly little stutter step every time she looked his way.
She laid the brush down and then turned on her seat to face him. He tossed aside the towel he’d been using to dry his hair and then seemed to realize she was looking at him.
He caught her gaze and then his brow furrowed. “Is something wrong?”
She didn’t answer right away. Nervous butterflies scuttled around her belly before her chin finally came up and she felt calm descend.
“Why are you avoiding me, Max?”
His eyes widened in surprise that wasn’t faked. “Avoid you? Where the hell would you get an idea like that?”
She rose and walked toward him. She allowed her robe to fall away until she stood naked before him. Then she gracefully slid to her knees, lifting her chin so she could once more look him in the eye.
“You’re avoiding this,” she said softly. “Us. The way we are. Who we are. Have you changed your mind, Max? Is this no longer what you want?”
She pulled at one of the bands around her wrist, the implication being that she’d remove it even though she couldn’t without one of the tiny keys they both owned, but his hand was quick to clamp around her wrist, holding the band tightly in place.
“No!” he said hoarsely. “God no, Callie, don’t take it off. Those mean more than our wedding rings. Is this what you want? Is this what you’re trying to tell me?”
She stayed on her knees, his fingers still wrapped tightly around her wrist.
“You haven’t touched me,” she said quietly. “I understand why you wouldn’t demonstrate your dominance of me in front of Lauren or others. We agreed that what we do is private and not for the world to see. But even in the privacy of our bedroom, you’ve stopped … you’ve stopped everything. What am I to think other than that this isn’t what you want?”
He went to his knees in front of her, only the second time ever that he’d put himself in an equally vulnerable position with her. He grasped her face between his hands, his eyes dark and earnest.
“You are my life, Callie. If anything I’ve said or done has made you doubt that even for a moment, I’m sorry. I would never have you feel that way. ”
She shook her head because this wasn’t about her pouting and being dramatic. She didn’t want to bring him low. She just wanted her Max back. Dominant, badass Max who always had a firm hand with her.
“I just want to know what’s changed. Is it Lauren? Do I need to spell it out? We’re currently existing just like a normal couple with an average marriage and an average sex life. We aren’t normal, Max. I submit to you. I choose to submit. Wholly. With no reservations. That doesn’t mean sometimes or when I feel like it. It’s always. I made that commitment. It’s what I need. It’s what I want. But ever since we brought Lauren home, you’ve done everything but act the dominant counterpart. If anything, you’ve backed way off and have been careful not to seem remotely demanding in any aspect of our relationship. ”
Max leaned his forehead against Callie’s and she felt the tremor of emotion flow through his body and into hers.
Slowly he rose and then extended his hand down to her. Wordlessly. Just a look that told her it wasn’t a request. Relief surged, making her shaky as she allowed him to pull her to her feet. He led her to the bed, pulled the covers back, and then motioned for her to crawl in.
He then sat on the edge, his body angled so he faced her. His expression was serious and a little uncertain. This wasn’t the Max she was used to.
“When I saw her,” he said in a low voice. “When I saw the bruises, when she told me what happened and she explained the relationship she had with this asshole, it sickened me. And then I began to think, is this me? Am I like that?”
Callie gasped. Of all the things she thought might be wrong, this certainly hadn’t been a consideration. It horrified her that Max was mentally comparing himself to the man who’d abused his sister.
He shook his head, a silent command for her to remain quiet.
“I’m controlling. You know this. I know this. From the day we met, I took over. I took, you gave. I dominated, you submitted. Some of the things that we do … God, Callie, can you imagine how someone looking in from the outside would view our relationship? Can you imagine if Lauren walked in when you’re across my lap and I’m spanking your ass? Or when I have you tied up and I’m fucking your ass after I’ve reddened it with a crop? How do you think that would look to her? Hell, she’d be calling nineone-one. ”
Callie swallowed hard but remained silent as he continued.
“Do you know what would happen if one of your fathers or your brothers ever saw the marks on your body from one of our encounters? You have to know that I’m extremely careful with placement so that you don’t have to answer uncomfortable questions to your family and so they won’t come after me with a shotgun. Because if they ever so much as thought that I was hurting you, they’d kill me, dolcezza. They’d do it without remorse. ”
“Oh Max,” she whispered. “Don’t you see the differen
ce?”
Max closed his eyes. “I used to see it. Or rather, I thought I did. I told myself that I loved you and that you loved me and that this was a consensual relationship. I justified it in my head. I made excuses. But then I really looked hard and I asked myself what made me any different than the bastard who put those bruises on Lauren’s body?”
Callie leaned forward, cupping Max’s jaw in her palm. With her other hand, she laced her fingers through his and brought his hand up until it lay against her heart.
“When you aren’t so raw with grief over what’s happened to Lauren, you’ll realize how very different the situations are. You do nothing that I don’t want. You do nothing that we haven’t agreed upon. I can say no at any time. You pamper and spoil me endlessly. You take care of me. You give me everything I could ever possibly need or want. And you love me.
“He didn’t love Lauren. He wanted to control her. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to intimidate her. To him she was a thing. Something to vent his temper on. When have you ever touched me in anger? When have you ever lost control and struck me in anger?”
Max still looked indecisive and tortured.
“Are you trying to say that I don’t know the difference between love and abuse?” she asked softly. “That I don’t have a mind of my own and that you do all my thinking for me? That I’m just a puppet dancing on your strings? That I obey without question or that I’m too afraid to stand up to you?”
He visibly recoiled. “Hell no. You’re one of the strongest willed women I know. ”
She smiled then and caressed the lines on his face. “Then tell me how on earth you think you’d ever get away with abusing me. Forget my dads and my brothers. If you ever crossed the line, it isn’t them you’d need to worry about. It’s me, because I’d kick your fucking ass all over this mountain. There wouldn’t be anything left for my fathers or brothers to mangle when I was finished with you. ”
His expression eased and his lips twitched upward into a smile.
“So what you’re telling me is that I’m being a complete idiot. ”
“Well, yes, I suppose that’s exactly what I’m saying,” she said with a grin.
He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly, his face buried in her hair. “I love you, Callie. So damn much. I don’t want to ever be without you. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you, if I ever abused your trust in me. ”
She nestled her face in his neck, inhaling his scent.
When he finally pulled away, his face was somber. “I don’t know what to do to help her, Callie. For the first several days I felt like the worst sort of fraud. God, I felt ashamed, like I was some hypocrite and that I wasn’t worthy of any better treatment than the son of a bitch who beat her. ”
Callie smiled softly, allowing her love to shine through. “Just being here for her is helping. Us going to get her, not allowing her to close herself off and wallow in shame—that’s helping. She’s going to be fine. It’ll take time. The best thing you can do is not treat her like she’s broken. Don’t tiptoe around her. Treat her like she’s part of the family and that we’re thrilled she’s here. The rest will come in time. ”
Max let his hand wander through her hair and then down to her bare breasts, where he toyed idly with her nipples. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a wise woman, Callie Wilder?”
She laughed. “No, I can honestly say that no one in my family has ever accused me of being anything but flighty and free-spirited. Wise doesn’t exactly fit in there anywhere. ”
He kissed her temple and squeezed her tight again. “You’re my everything, dolcezza. And where you fit is right here with me. Always. ”
“Then don’t hold back,” she begged. “I need you, Max. I need your dominance, your strength. Your control. I need that structure. It centers me. It reminds me that I have a place in this world. With you. ”
He let his hands slide down to the bands circling her wrists. The bands he’d placed there as a symbol of his ownership. To him, they were more important than their wedding rings. They meant more. They went deeper.
“Never take these off,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t bear it. ”
She extended both wrists, holding them upward in supplication. “I’m yours, Max. I don’t want to ever be anything else. I’ll never take them off unless you ask me to. ”
He leaned forward, finding her lips in the sweetest of kisses. “Good, because I’m never going to ask. ”
CHAPTER 12
HOLLY awoke in the middle of the night shivering, and the ache in her lower side had intensified to a fiery pain that wasn’t alleviated by movement. Ryan lay sleeping beside her, but no one was on her other side. Adam and Ethan had evidently taken to their own beds instead of crashing in the common bedroom tonight.
She pushed to the vacant side, careful not to awaken Ryan. Her feet hit the cold floor and she shivered as another chill overtook her. Fire splintered through her side and she hunched over, grabbing for the edge of the bed to steady herself. Nausea welled in her throat and she swallowed hard against the urge to vomit.
