A WINTER SABBATICAL
By
Cheryl Wright
ISBN: 978-1-927476-41-3
PUBLISHED BY:
Books We Love Ltd.
(Electronic Book Publishers)
192 Lakeside
Greens Drive
Chestermere, Alberta, TIX IC2
Canada
http://bookswelove.net
Copyright 2012 by Cheryl Wright
Cover Art Copyright 2012 by Michelle Lee
All rights reserved. Without Limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced to a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
Prologue
The bed covers were pulled back ready for Marissa Temple to climb in.
She stared at them almost blankly, wanting so much to sleep. As she leaned forward her whole body began to shake. So she stood upright again, tears welling in her eyes.
She knew what would happen if she went to sleep; every night was the same – always the same.
Marissa saw herself walking along the footpath with Jeremy; they were so happy, so much in love.
They were to be married, to prove their love for each other.
They’re on their way home, holding hands as they always did, touching each other, feeling their love for one another. Marissa hears the birds singing and chirping, and tells Jeremy how happy she is, that she wishes they were already married.
Jeremy smiles – the smile that makes her feel warm inside – then picks a flower from the roadside, tucking it into her hair. He pulls her close against him.
His warmth makes her feel so good, so loved. And then he kisses her. Marissa knows there is no other man in the entire world for her – Jeremy is her Mr. Right, her knight in shining armor, the one and only love of her life.
She wraps her arms around his neck, and his hands slide to her waist. Oh, how she wishes they were already man and wife!
He lifts his hand to her face and brushes a wisp of hair back into place. Marissa closes her eyes, breathing in the smell of him, the essence of him and his whole being. She brushes her lips against his, gently kissing him. The tingling that starts in her lips flows all the way down to her toes.
As his arms encase her in his love, his warmth, and his adoration, she whispers in his ear. “I love you, Jeremy. So much. Maybe even too much.”
“Ditto,” he whispers back.
“No!” Marissa screams.
“Leave me alone!” she yells into the empty room, her heart-beat quickening as hot tears roll down her face.
She closes her eyes trying to block out the memory. But it won’t go away, won’t leave her alone, and her memories play out like a movie. One she watches over and over again.
“We have to go,” Jeremy says, looking deeply into her eyes, regret evident. They walk hand in hand to the pedestrian crossing.
There are no cars in sight, not a one, so together they walk out onto the road. They take a few steps, and that’s when she hears it; the roar of an engine and the squeal of brakes. Marissa feels Jeremy’s grasp tighten. She hears the thud, feels the impact. And hears Jeremy’s scream somewhere in the distance.
Endless stars float around her, she’s disoriented, can’t think, can’t move.
She sinks into a deep black void.
Marissa opened her eyes and shivered. Her heart was now racing so fast she felt as though she would faint. She was barely able to stand and was shaking violently.
She put her hand to her heart, willing it to slow, at the same time trying to control her breathing. She couldn’t chance hyperventilating yet again.
Her stomach was churning over and over, and she was convinced she was going to vomit. She knew from experience all of this was the remnants of her daydream. Or rather, her nightmare; the one that repeated over and over with each waking moment. The one that stopped her from climbing into bed each night. The one that controlled her life, and essentially stopped her from living.
With an overwhelming emptiness, Marissa walked out into the lounge room in a daze.
Resigned to the fact that once again she wouldn’t sleep, she turned on the television, flicking through the channels.
Her head pounding relentlessly, Marissa weighed up her options. She couldn’t cope with a romance; too many memories of what she’d lost. Murder wasn’t an option either; how could she watch another person die? Comedy didn’t seem appropriate either.
Her mind wasn’t letting go, and her heart was hollow. “How could you do this to me?” she whispered to the empty room, knowing that Jeremy couldn’t hear, but wanting, needing him to answer. “I have to move on. Please, leave me alone.”
Marissa sobbed until she was completely wrung out, until there were no more tears. But the pain never left, it was always there — inside her, controlling her life.
Chapter One
Marissa looked around the room; it was in total disarray. Sealed boxes were stacked in the corner, hurried instructions scribbled across them. Piles of clothes – some on the bed, some on the floor – yet to be hung in cupboards or folded into drawers. Papers lay strewn across the floor.
As she began the tedious task of unpacking, Marissa sighed, and tried to shake away the pain, the memories of another time, another place.
She was going through the motions of pretending to live, but really only surviving.
As she hung clothes in the wardrobe, she had no sense of order. Sure, she was putting them on hangers and placing them in the cupboard, but why or where were not things she thought about.
Today would be the start of her new life. She had to put Jeremy behind her. It would be hard, but she could do it.
She sounded convincing; now all she had to do was find a way to make it happen. “Damn it.” She took deep breath. It would be a lot harder than willing it to happen.
She straightened her shoulders, then walked purposefully toward a pile of crumpled dresses. “You’re fine,” she told herself sternly. “There will be no more tears, and you will not feel any more pain.”
Forcing a smile on her face, Marissa resolved to move forward and not look back.
She began to hang her clothing, deciding to iron out the creases once she had the rest of the house sorted.
Why, of all the dresses she had, did this have to be the first one she hung? The night she and Jeremy....
She threw it aside, not willing to face the nightmare all over again. Not today. Not now.
Note to self: get rid of that dress - once and for all.
As she shoved the dress into a charity bag, heart wrenching, gut twisting emptiness returned, and tears began to well in her eyes. She would not let herself cry! Marissa blinked back the tears, demanding they stay right where they were. And amazingly, they did.
When her childhood friend Daniel offered her the use of his house for six months – effective immediately – Marissa was reluctant at first, but finally realizing the advantages for her, grabbed it with both hands. As a result, she had to leave Melbourne in a rush.
Her family wasn’t at all happy about it. But, she decided, this was her life, and she needed to get over Jeremy. Finally and forever.
As she bent down to pick up the pile of blouses balancing on the well-worn footstool. Marissa heard a scratching sound.
She stopped and listened, then walked out into the lounge room. It sounded very much like it was coming from the front of the house.
She gin
gerly opened the front door.
***
Travis Johnston surveyed the young woman standing before him. Daniel had told him very little about her, and nothing about why she was here.
She looked fragile, even scared, and the dark circles under her eyes confirmed it.
She was slightly built, and her tight jeans and body-hugging skivvy accentuated her thin form.
Marissa was small, Travis noted; her head barely reached his shoulder. She reminded him of a sad doll, her eyes drooping downwards, her lips tight and straight. Her wariness was evident with the way her eyes moved quickly back and forth, taking everything in.
She put her hand up to shield the sun from her eyes, and he smiled at her. “Hi there,” he said, his hand outstretched.
He heard Marissa’s sudden intake of breath, and wondered what had taken her off-guard. Then watched as the color rapidly drained from her already pale face.
Marissa’s eyes opened wide, then in an instant was slowly wilting downward, and in a heap before him.
Travis swore under his breath.
He swept her up and carried her into the house, then gently laid her on the sofa.
He sat beside her, wondering whether he needed to call a doctor when she opened her eyes.
“Welcome back.” He brushed her hair off her face. “I’m Travis Johnston, a friend of Daniel’s.” He sat back and waited, but when she didn’t answer he spoke again. “Did I do something wrong? Something to upset you?”
She just stared at him.
“I mean, it’s not every day women fall down at my feet.” He laughed.
Marissa smiled tentatively.
“I guess I do owe you an explanation,” she said. “I thought you were someone else. I’m sorry, I...”
Travis watched helplessly as she fought to compose herself, fighting back tears she obviously didn’t want to appear.
He walked over to the window and stared out across the valley. What was going on? Daniel told him nothing about this woman. But it seems there is something strange about her?
“Beautiful view,” he said casually.
“Is it? I haven’t had time to look.”
Travis turned and glanced at her over his shoulder. Her gaze focused on the other side of the room.
She was embarrassed, he could tell, but since they just met and were complete strangers, she had no worries in that area. “I’m the welcoming party.” He smiled, trying to make her feel more at ease. “Daniel told me you were coming.”
Marissa looked at him in surprise. “If you know Daniel, then you must know about, about...” She swallowed hard and stared at him with those sad, sad eyes. Her eyes were welling with tears again, and he watched helplessly as she forced them back.
Whatever was wrong with Marissa, it must have been devastating. She could barely keep herself together. And she was embarrassed, really embarrassed.
He felt so sorry for her, but didn’t know what to do to help.
“It’s really cold in here,” she suddenly said, shivering. At least, pretending to shiver. “Do you know how to light this heater?”
Oh yeah, she was embarrassed. So much so she had to change the subject.
Kneeling down on the luxurious carpet, Travis gave the heater the once-over. He looked up at her and smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.” Fiddling about with the heater, Travis thought about the events of the morning. The whole Marissa fainting and losing it scenario. She seemed to be shrouded in sadness.
He managed to light the heater and the room filled with warmth.
In that moment he decided to bring happiness into her life, to make her smile again.
To make her life worth living.
***
Travis casually loitered in the doorway as Marissa filled the electric jug.
She could feel his eyes trained on her, and felt positive he was assessing her appearance. Invisible fingers danced up and down her spine. It was a long time since any man had taken notice of her.
Marissa decided to totally ignore his appraisal of her, so that maybe he would stop.
“.... coffee?” His voice startled her.
“Huh?” She spun around to face him.
“Coffee? Tea?”
His smirk prickled at her, but she decided to ignore it.
“You are making coffee aren’t you? I mean,” – he began to rifle through the empty cupboards – “you did put the jug on.”
He looked quite at home in this kitchen, seemed to know where everything was. Or should be anyway. Then it hit her; he’d probably been there a million times and had coffee with Daniel. “There’s nothing there, everything’s still boxed.”
His eyebrows rose quizzically at her. “What, even the coffee and cups? Daniel didn’t leave anything?”
“I asked him to take everything. I had to put my stuff somewhere.”
“But—” he started, but instead shrugged his shoulders. “So where?”
She grinned. “You could try that box in the corner marked 'kitchen'.”
With their cups finally filled, they sat down in the lounge chairs, quietly drinking. The silence was overwhelming and Marissa felt uncomfortable. She wondered how long it would take for him to start asking questions, as she knew he would. People always did.
Her fingers wrapped tightly around the hot cup as she stared at him over her drink. Waiting for him to break the silence, and fill the emptiness inside her.
“What made you faint?” he asked. “Am I that scary?” His expression was apologetic, and Marissa felt a little sorry for him, but this was painful territory and she wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about it. She swallowed hard and looked down into her lap.
“I thought you were someone I... used to know.” She lifted a hand and brushed her hair out of her face. When she looked up again, Travis was studying her, scrutinizing her. “God knows why. The sun was in my eyes, and...” She swallowed again – this was harder than she’d ever envisaged.
“Marry me, Marissa?” It was the happiest day of her life. Her heart was filled with joy; she was marrying the man of her dreams – her one and only love.
As Jeremy knelt before her, holding her hand, slipping a ring on her finger, her heart raced. Love filled her.
Marissa put her hand to her heart as it beat faster and faster. She had to get these memories out of her mind. And soon.
She stared at Travis, studying his features. “Now that I’ve seen you up close, I can’t imagine how I could have ever thought you were him.”
Her voice was beginning to break, and Marissa looked down into her half empty cup again, fighting back tears, forcing herself into composure.
She could feel his eyes on her, watching her, trying to understand her. Trying to work out what made her tick. She understood why he was doing it, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”
Marissa’s voice was barely audible. It was a good offer, but not one she could accept. “I can’t, not today.”
He smiled at her and she felt a little better. The tension in her face began to wane, and the invisible belt across her chest loosened a little.
She sighed. This move was probably the best thing she’d done in the past year.
“I’m Daniel’s friend, so consider me yours too. Any time you want to talk, just call me, okay?”
Marissa nodded, and they sat in silence until Travis suggested he could help her unpack.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she said, adamant not to impose further. “Besides, you must have better things to do with your time.”
Marissa gave him the once-over. She hadn’t really looked at him before. Not like this.
He was tall like Jeremy, at least six foot, and like Jeremy, had wavy hair. It was a similar color to Jeremy’s, and that’s what shocked her the most. With the light bouncing off his silhouette, Travis looked just like Jeremy standing here. And that’s where there similarity ended. How could she hav
e been so stupid?
Travis let out a long sigh. Counting off on his long, stocky fingers, he replied “One, you didn’t ask, I volunteered. Two, I’m my own boss.” He stopped and took a breath, looking at her with vivid blue eyes. “Three, it’s the weekend, so no work today; besides, you’re a friend of Daniel’s. So, that’s settled; where do I start?”
Marissa shrugged, realizing she had lost the battle. “I guess the kitchen’s as good a place as any. The groceries are in that smaller box, also marked 'kitchen'.”
***
They were packing away the last of the kitchen items when Travis noticed it was getting dark.
“It’s late – we’d better stop soon and eat.”
Marissa knelt on the kitchen floor, stacking groceries on the lower shelves. She looked up at him, brushing her disheveled hair from her face. Even in her old jeans and crumpled t-shirt she was beautiful.
She smiled up at him; he loved to see her smile. “I daresay we’ll find something amongst this lot for dinner.”
Travis shook his head. “I was thinking more along the lines of picking up a pizza or something. We could take it back to my place to eat. What do you think?”
Marissa screwed up her nose. “Not game enough to try my cooking?” She laughed, and her whole face lit up. It was the first time he’d seen her happy since they’d met that morning. Her eyes glistened with happiness. This Marissa was a totally different person to the one he met earlier in the day.
He stared into her eyes. They were big and brown, and the laughter reached all the ways to her eyes.
She noticed him watching, and momentarily stared back, then quickly averted her eyes. She started stacking the shelves again. Was she trying to avoid his gaze, or was it something else?
Marissa’s thoughts suddenly turned to Jeremy – he had eyes she could lose herself in too. Sometimes she would just sit and stare into Jeremy’s eyes; look into his heart, his soul. She missed him so much.
A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) Page 1
