Up on the Roof

by A. L. Brooks

  Lena did as she was told, perching on the edge of the sofa, staring as Dorothy slowly paced the floor before her.

  “You had two visitors yesterday,” Dorothy began, and Lena couldn’t have been more shocked at that opening statement if Dorothy had announced she was the next woman in space.

  “I… What?”

  “They buzzed my flat first, clearly unsure which flat you lived in. When they explained who they were, I told them which buzzer to use. I knew you had moved back in yesterday, hence sending them to your own flat rather than Megan’s.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Where on Earth was this going?

  “I should like to apologise.”

  Lena stared at Dorothy, who waited, presumably for Lena to say something. Say something!

  “Um, thank you. But…what for?”

  “I fear letting those…people into this house may have been a considerable error on my part, Lord forgive me.” She closed her eyes momentarily.

  Lena’s mouth was open like a goldfish; she literally had no idea what to say.

  Dorothy moved, suddenly, making Lena startle. In the next moment, her neighbour was perched alongside her on the sofa, hands wringing together in her lap.

  “Lena, as you know, I believe in the words of the Lord. I also believe in the goodness in people, but I am also aware that some harbour ill feelings in their hearts.” She cleared her throat. “Misguided feelings, borne of fear and ignorance. I have struggled with many of the teachings I was brought up to believe in. These past few years I have come to my own understanding with the Lord, and it works fine for both of us.” She blinked a few times. “Some may disagree with me. That is their prerogative.” She turned slightly on the sofa, and gazed at Lena. “Your parents caused you some hurt yesterday, yes?”

  Lena nodded dumbly.

  Dorothy sighed. “As I feared.” She paused, and Lena felt no need to fill the silence of this surreal moment. “Do you not care for Megan?”

  What the—?

  “Dorothy, that’s… Well, it’s private.” Lena’s cheeks were flaming.

  “Child, I heard most of your conversation this morning. Lord forgive me for eavesdropping, but I was on my way to church. I opened my door and I heard…what you were talking about.”

  Lena shook her head and made to stand. Helping Dorothy with spiders was one thing, but this was too personal. She couldn’t begin to confide in Dorothy, of all people.

  Dorothy’s hand quickly shot out and held Lena’s wrist. “Wait, child. Please.” She gazed up at Lena, her deep brown eyes wide and guileless.

  Lena sat down, unable to fight those eyes.

  “Lena, fear is a part of life. It is how you face that fear that is the important lesson to learn. I, as you know, am scared of spiders. I could perhaps teach myself to deal with them, to…kill them, maybe, but never catch them. I could not do what you do, get that close.”

  She shuddered, and Lena felt it all the way through her body as she realised Dorothy still had a hold of her wrist.

  “But I learned that it is easier to ask the help of someone who can do that,” Dorothy continued. “I don’t want to kill one of God’s creatures, and nor, thankfully, do you. When I find one, I know that I do not have to remain in fear for long. I can rely on you to assist me, to remove the source of my fear.”

  She stared intensely at Lena. “There is no shame in finding someone to help you face your fears. To help you deal with them. Especially when that someone is more than willing to do so, because they care about you, and about your wellbeing.”

  Lena swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat.

  “Megan cares for you, child,” Dorothy said softly. “I have seen it first-hand. And I believe you care for her too. When there is that much care between two people, it seems to me it would be a shame to allow fear to stop that care before it can become…love.”

  She moved her fingers from Lena’s wrist to hold her hand, gently. “Megan is a good person. A very good person. If you care for her as much as I think you do, let her help you. Let her love you.”

  The tears were warm on Lena’s cheeks and salty on her lips as they tracked down her face.

  “I’m so scared, Dorothy,” she sniffled. “I like her, very much. More than like.” She dipped her head and heard Dorothy’s gentle chuckle.

  “Is that so hard to admit?”

  Lena looked up and smiled weakly. “To you, yes.”

  Dorothy laughed and squeezed Lena’s hand again. “Then why don’t you tell her, and let her care for you the way she wishes to?”

  “Is it that simple?” Lena asked, bewildered. Could it be? Forget everything that had gone before and simply tell Megan how she felt, how much she wanted her, and wanted to be with her?

  Dorothy nodded sagely. “Sometimes in life, Lena, yes, it is that simple. I have a spider, I knock on your door. You need Megan to love you, you knock on her door.”

  Chapter 30

  Megan idly flicked through the TV channels.

  Old film. Click.

  Rugby. Click.

  Nature documentary. Click.

  Even older film.

  Nothing caught her attention for more than a nanosecond. Huffing out a breath she flicked the TV off and threw the remote onto the coffee table. The back snapped off in protest and the two batteries ejected themselves, lemming-like, and rolled onto the rug beneath.

  Typical. She made to retrieve them but gave up before she’d moved more than an inch. Fuck ’em.

  She closed her eyes and slouched back on the sofa, one foot on the floor, the other tapping against the sofa’s arm rest farthest away from her body.

  The day had been a total balls up. She should never have gone down to Lena’s so early. She should have left Lena a decent amount of time to wake up, to pull her thoughts together. Instead Megan had blundered into Lena’s Sunday morning like a bull in a china shop, and the carnage was just as spectacular. She’d heard Lena leaving her flat a while ago, presumably taking herself away, as far away as possible, from Megan and the pressure Megan put her under.

  Stupid. Why, oh why, couldn’t you have waited?

  She knew why—because while Lena’s fear made her retreat, Megan’s made her want to grab tight onto what she thought was slipping away.

  Briefly, she contemplated ringing Jen, or her mum, to talk through what had happened but with a grunt she realised if she did that, she’d probably get a whole load of “I told you so” from either or both of them. She couldn’t face that. Not yet.

  She sat up. This was pathetic. She couldn’t throw a whole day away on this. Maybe she’d go out too. Take a walk, if nothing else. It was still a gorgeous day out there, with a good couple of hours’ daylight left. With a start, she realised she’d been wallowing on the sofa for about three hours, with only trips to the bathroom and endless cups of tea to break the monotony. Her stomach rumbled, and suddenly food sounded like a cracking idea. Maybe a nice, fat, juicy burger from that place near the Tube station.

  The knock on her door wasn’t loud, but as the flat was silent she heard it anyway. Her stomach went into free fall. Every instinct she possessed told her Lena was on the other side of the door, even though her rational brain told her Lena was still out, as she hadn’t heard her come back. Commanding her heart to slow its racing and her breathing to even out, Megan slowly stood up, straightened her clothes and her hair, and headed for the door, ready to meet her fate.

  There was another gentle knock, just as she reached it. She pulled it open, and there Lena was, looking slightly puffy-eyed, one hand still raised at the end of her knocking action, the other twisting in the hem of her favourite Hogwarts hoodie. Her expression was a mix of fearful and…something else. Hopeful, maybe?

  “Hi,” Lena croaked.

  “Hey,” Megan said softly, determined not to blow this, whatever this moment was. However f
rustrated and out of control of things she had been feeling all day.

  “I-I would like to talk to you,” Lena said. She gestured to the flat behind Megan. “Could I come in?”

  “Of course,” Megan said quickly. “Please.” She stepped aside and motioned Lena in, catching the scent of her shampoo as she passed; coconut and lime, one of the scents she hadn’t realised she’d got so used to—and missed—until it was no longer part of her daily stimulation.

  Closing the door behind her, Megan watched as Lena walked over to the sofa. When she reached it, she turned round and seemed surprised that Megan hadn’t followed her.

  “Can we?” Lena pointed to the sofa.

  Megan sat down on the opposite end from Lena, giving her space. Her heart thudded as Lena shuffled nearer, close enough that their thighs were almost touching. She could feel the warmth emanating from Lena’s body, and she ached to reach out, to pull her in. It took everything she had to wait, to see what Lena had to say.

  “I’m sorry,” Lena whispered, meeting Megan’s gaze and smiling weakly. “I’m so sorry for taking myself away from you.”

  “It’s—”

  Lena held up a hand. “Don’t say it’s okay, because it really isn’t.” She sighed. “I was so wrapped up in my dark place, I couldn’t see what it was doing to you or Madhu. I think I’ve spent so long protecting myself from other people who didn’t care if they hurt me, I’ve completely forgotten how to actually behave around people who do care about me.”

  She slowly, achingly slowly, reached out a hand and placed it over one of Megan’s. “And around people who I care about. Greatly,” she whispered.

  Megan couldn’t breathe. Lena’s words skidded around her brain for a few moments before she actually got hold of them and forced them to a stop so that she could take them in.

  “Lena,” she said on an exhalation. “You mean…?”

  Lena smiled, tentatively. “If you’ll have me back, yes. Please.” She gripped Megan’s hand tighter. “I’m not easy, I know that. I promise I will work on that. I promise I won’t shut you out again.”

  She inched closer, and now their thighs were touching and the heat of that connection seared through Megan’s body.

  “I promise to be as much for you as you have been for me. As I hope you will continue to be. I know what we’ve shared is still something we’re working out, but Megan, I really, really want it.”

  Megan smiled and reached out for Lena, inching her hands around Lena’s waist.

  Lena let out a tiny gasp, and her own hands found their way to Megan’s thighs.

  “Thank you,” Megan said softly. “For saying all of that. I’m…I’m so glad you want this, that you want to make it work.”

  “I do,” Lena said, gazing into Megan’s eyes, her brown eyes wide and shining. “You don’t have to fight for it on your own anymore. Believe me.” She placed extra emphasis on the last two words, her tone beseeching.

  The dark cloud that had followed Megan around all morning drifted away as if it had never had substance. She smiled and leaned in, because there was nothing else to say. Lena had said it all, and now they just needed to…be.

  She placed a soft kiss on Lena’s left cheek, then one on her right. A gentle one went on Lena’s chin, and a small trail of them down her jaw to her neck, and back up again. Lena’s breath hitched, and her hands gripped at Megan’s thighs.

  “Megan,” she breathed.

  Megan pulled back to look at her. “Okay? Should I stop—”

  “Oh, no,” Lena murmured. “Never stop.”

  And that was all Megan needed. She pressed forward, her lips meeting Lena’s, trying to rein in her hunger but moaning as Lena’s mouth opened up beneath hers. Lena’s tongue pressed into Megan’s mouth, Lena’s own hunger sending a deep wave of arousal flushing through Megan’s body. Megan pulled Lena as close as she could, wrapping her arms around her. Lena moaned into Megan’s mouth at the contact, and her hands moved to Megan’s hips, gripping at the waistband of Megan’s sweatpants. When Lena’s fingertips dipped inside the back of the pants and started to stroke the soft skin at the base of Megan’s spine, she gasped, her arousal spiking, and twisted away from the kiss, panting.

  “Lena, if you do that, I don’t know what I’ll do… God.”

  Lena smiled, her eyes bright. “Maybe I want you to…do,” she whispered. Her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip, her nerves about saying something so bold clear to see. The throb that started between Megan’s legs at that boldness sent heat pouring through her.

  “Only if you’re sure. We can take it slow, and—”

  Lena pressed a finger against Megan’s lips. “Slow, yes, but I am definitely sure.” She pulled out of Megan’s arms, took a deep breath, and reached for Megan’s hand.

  Megan smiled, her heart thudding. She allowed herself to be pulled up, and let Lena lead her to the bedroom. Lena seemed to want to control this, and Megan was only too happy to oblige.

  The room was bathed in the gentle, late afternoon sun. Megan realised with some embarrassment that the bed was in total disarray from her fitful night but when she attempted to apologise, Lena simply smiled and stepped forwards, placing her hands on Megan’s body, below her breasts. The heat from her hands was delicious, and images of that heat covering her breasts set off more throbbing between Megan’s legs. Lena’s thumbs moved in small circles against Megan’s T-shirt as she gazed up at her, an enigmatic smile on her face.

  “Somehow,” she murmured, “you seem more nervous than me.”

  Megan exhaled and chuckled. “Yeah, I am. I don’t want to mess this up.”

  Lena raised one hand to cup Megan’s cheek. “You won’t,” she said. “Trust me.”

  She raised up on her toes and kissed Megan, greedily, devouring Megan’s mouth and turning her knees to jelly.

  Megan crushed Lena to her, running her hands up Lena’s spine and back down to the curves of her ass. Every sweep over those curves elicited a soft moan from Lena, and even hungrier kisses. Then, deliciously, Lena’s hands crept inside Megan’s T-shirt, first roaming over her back, then boldly moving round to her abdomen, and up, and oh God, Lena’s hands cupped Megan’s breasts through the soft fabric of her sports bra, and Megan gasped against Lena’s mouth.

  This was intoxicating. The unexpected boldness, the complete turn-around of events between them in these past few hours, all of it added up to a heady mix. Megan was floating on a cloud of desire and delight, Lena’s gentle yet firm ministrations on her breasts making her nipples ache for more direct attention—as well as other parts of her body.

  Lena’s mouth was hot against Megan’s neck and throat, her hands now strong against Megan’s breasts, her fingertips pulling at Megan’s nipples through the cloth.

  “I want to touch you,” Lena said, tipping her head back to meet Megan’s gaze. Lena’s face was flushed, her eyes dark, her breathing ragged. “Can we—?” She moved her hands to pull at Megan’s T-shirt.

  “Oh, yeah.” Megan grabbed the hem of her shirt, yanking it over her head at lightning speed. Her sports bra followed moments later, and she heard Lena’s appreciative moan as her breasts were revealed. Lena lunged forward, taking a nipple between her lips and sucking gently, then using her teeth to tease it into rock hardness.

  Megan gasped, gazing down at the beautiful woman who was working such magic with her mouth.

  This new Lena, the bold, take charge one, was hot.

  Lena’s hands moved to the waistband of Megan’s sweatpants and tugged them downwards. Megan stumbled slightly as she tried to extricate her feet from them and quickly looked up to make sure Lena wasn’t struggling with the clumsiness of the moment. The smile that Lena sent her way caused Megan’s heart to jump in her chest. Lena’s hands gently gripped Megan’s hips.

  “Here,” she said. “In case you fall.”

  At that moment,
Megan knew they were going to be okay. Whatever demons had tortured Lena these past few days appeared to have been banished. A fresh wave of warmth for this woman washed over Megan, and she smiled widely.

  “Thanks. We know how clumsy I can be.” She grinned, and Lena laughed before giving Megan a gentle push in the middle of her chest. It wasn’t strong enough to topple Megan but she did it anyway, knowing that was how playfully Lena had intended the move. She allowed herself to fall back on the bed, arms wide, legs slightly parted. She ached as Lena’s gaze raked over her naked body.

  “You’re gorgeous,” Lena whispered.

  “You are,” Megan replied. She motioned with her hands. “Please, can I see you? You are so beautiful, I can’t wait to look at you again.”

  Lena blushed, but she also didn’t hesitate. Her hands moved to her sweatshirt, hauling it over her head and dropping it to the floor beside her. Her plain white cotton bra was slowly unsnapped from behind and shyly passed down her arms to join the sweatshirt. Her breasts looked amazing in the soft light; round and heavy, her nipples already tight buds that made Megan’s mouth water.

  “Oh, God,” Megan managed to squeeze out through her tightened throat. She wanted this woman so badly.

  Lena smiled, her blush fading, and reached for her pyjama bottoms. As she slowly pushed them downwards, Megan’s breath caught in her throat; Lena wasn’t wearing any underwear either, and the trimmed patch of dark hair between her legs was already glistening with evidence of how turned on Lena was right now. Megan licked her lips involuntarily and startled as the action drew a long groan from the naked Lena.

  “Come here,” Megan said, opening her arms, and Lena moved instantly, pressing her entire length against Megan. The touch made her shiver, everywhere. Eagerly she sought Lena’s mouth; Lena mirrored the action in the same moment, and their teeth clashed noisily.

  Instead of pulling away, as she might have done the week before, Lena giggled and simply readjusted the position of her mouth.

  Megan smiled against her lips, happiness welling up from deep within. Then she gasped as Lena’s hands went on the move.