by Holly Jacobs
He didn’t want to be an afterthought in anyone’s life. He’d said no, and Millie hadn’t protested. She’d simply given him back his ring and left without a backward glance.
He’d heard from her twice. Oh, she’d said she missed him, but then she’d rhapsodized about her new job and her new life...
A life that didn’t include him.
Audrey seemed to live her life looking out for others, whether it was her kids, or the community in general. She even watched out for the planet with her composting and green technology.
Sawyer went into the house and watched Willow mow, back and forth, back and forth, across his lawn.
She’d only been with Audrey a few months and she’d already learned a lot. She was working so hard to balance her karma.
The term made him smile.
When she was just about done, he headed outside.
“I came down to help.” He picked up one of the cans and carried it to the garbage corral. “How was the mower?”
“Really good. It looks okay?”
He glanced at the neat, perpendicular lines. “It looks great, like always,” he said. “I meant to ask, if I buy some supplies, would you like to help me put together a bigger composter? The one Audrey brought is great for kitchen scraps, but I found instructions for a simple chicken wire and posts. It would be better for clippings and yard waste.”
Willow stopped pushing the mower and burst out laughing. “Oh, she’s got you, all right.”
“I just happen to agree with her. Composting makes sense. It will help out the planting beds. You know I’m all about my planting beds.” He tried to look serious.
Willow stared at him a long moment, then they both cracked up.
“Yeah, and I suppose it doesn’t hurt that Audrey’s cute.” There was speculation in her eyes and her amusement gave way to seriousness as she studied him.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Sawyer said.
“Sure you don’t.” She took a step closer to him. “You need to understand that Audrey’s special. Don’t hurt her.”
“I wouldn’t...” he started.
Willow’s words barreled over his. “I’m sure you think you wouldn’t, but you’re a guy and sometimes that’s just what guys do. So be careful with her. If you really like her, that’s one thing, but don’t just use her because she’s cute.”
He remembered Audrey’s concern about the kids getting hurt if things didn’t work out between them, so he neither confirmed nor denied Willow’s suspicions.
He looked at the young girl in front of him. She’d arrived dancing and waving a permit, but at the moment, all traces of that carefree teen had disappeared. “You sound like you’re thirty.”
She shrugged. “I’ve got an old soul.”
“And you like her,” he added.
Willow heaved a heartfelt sigh, as if liking Audrey was a huge cross to bear. “What’s not to like?”
He nodded. That pretty much summed up his feelings. Every new detail he learned about Audrey only made him like her more. He crossed his heart for the second time that day and said, “I’m not saying that I think she’s cute or I’m attracted to her, but I will promise that I’ll be careful with her.”
Willow studied him a moment, then nodded. “That’s good enough for me. And yes, I’ll help build a composter.”
They finished cleaning up and sat on the stairs at the front of the house while they waited for Audrey.
“How about you?” he asked when they’d settled.
“How about me what?” she countered.
“Is there a guy you like?”
She hesitated a moment, then said, “There was a guy I liked, but I’ve figured out that some people aren’t good for us. They’re toxic. He was one of those, so I dumped him. I haven’t found anyone else I like, and I’m okay with that. I plan to really buckle down at school next year.”
“You haven’t in the past?” he asked.
She looked at him. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“Always.”
“No, I haven’t always done my best. I’ve pretty much coasted. I’m smart enough that I can pass most classes with very little effort. That’s what I did last year. I got a couple As, and mostly Bs. I thought all I needed to do was get my diploma and get out on my own. I didn’t think beyond that.”
He asked, “What changed?” but he suspected he knew the answer.
“Audrey,” she said. “Audrey changed everything. She managed to go to college. She said there are grants and scholarships I might qualify for if my grades are good enough. That’s how she went, you know. Grants, scholarships and loans. Plus she worked. Almost a full-time job while going to school full-time. She crammed as many credits as she could into each semester. She already knew that she wanted Clinton, and in order to get him, she’d need to have the means to support him and to show the social services people that even if she was young, she could handle him.”
His parents had set up a college trust fund for him at birth. They weren’t rich, but it had been enough that with grants and loans, he’d only worked a few hours a week for pocket money. He couldn’t imagine what it had been like working full-time and going to school.
“That must have been hard,” he said, though he knew it was an understatement.
“I’m sure it was, not that she says anything. Clinton is the one that told me about it. With all of that going on, she wrote him—real letters, not just emails. And she called him. And I thought that maybe if I buckled down and really worked, then maybe I could go to college, too.”
“I’m sure you could,” he said.
“I’m not sure, but I can try. And, well...” Willow didn’t say anything else. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes and she finally said, “I think, if I do go to college, I want to pick a job that makes a difference, too. Audrey can be a little weird, but it’s a good weird, you know?”
He thought of Clinton and Bea calling her odd Aud. She was odd, but Willow was right; it was a good odd.
Willow continued. “She thinks she can make the world a better place with her buildings.”
“So you want to be an architect like Audrey?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. But I was looking at jobs the other day and did you know you can study environmental engineering? And any kind of engineering program is looking for women. It’s a job that seems to be male dominated, and universities are trying to bolster their female enrollment. So there might be additional incentives they’ll offer a female applicant. And it’s a degree that can go in a lot of directions. From making cars more efficient to clean-water projects. I read a report that said it’s a fast-growing job market and it pays well.”
He was impressed by how much Willow had thought about this. She’d obviously done some research. “Both Penn State and Gannon have programs,” she said, “so I’d qualify for state grants. I’m pretty good at science and math.”
“Willow, if that’s a direction you think interests you...”
“I coasted last year,” she admitted. “I’d need to move into more advanced math and science classes this year, and I don’t know that the school will let me move up because I’m on a basic math and science track.”
“They must have some kind of tests you can take that shows you should be placed in the harder classes,” he said.
She nodded. “Probably.”
“Science was never my strong suit, but I am a whiz at math.” He laughed. “If you want some help brushing up on the math part, I can tutor you.”
“I’m not sure if the school will...”
“I remember this girl who kept showing up on my front door asking to mow my lawn. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was tenacious. If that girl decides she wants something, then I have no doubt she’ll go out and fight for it. F
ight for it and win.”
“You’ll really help me?” she asked.
“Yes. And I have this buddy, Lucas. He’s a giant science nerd. He’s a biology professor. I’ll tell you what, I’ll talk to him and see if he can give you a hand with reading material and I’m sure that he knows other professors who can help with the chemistry and physics.”
Willow shook her head. “Why? I don’t know why you and Audrey are taking a chance on me.”
“I don’t know Audrey well enough to speak for her, but I have to imagine that she sees the same thing in you that I do. She probably saw it right away, because she seems to be insightful like that, but even if it took me a little longer, I saw it, too. I see it.”
“What do you see?” she asked.
“Potential. Willow, you have the potential to be whoever and whatever you choose. And I’m happy to help.”
Audrey pulled into the driveway and waved.
“I’ll see you Monday and I’ll find out what I need at school to move into the college math and science track.”
Audrey got out of the car and walked over to the passenger’s side as Willow approached. Willow got into the driver’s seat.
He remembered what Audrey had said about facing her fears.
He watched the car pull out of the driveway with agonizing slowness. And he realized that two very impressive women were in it.
* * *
ON WEDNESDAY, SAWYER pressed the buzzer to let Audrey know he’d arrived at her office.
Audrey hurried out to the reception room and spotted Sawyer there.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi, yourself,” Sawyer replied, glancing at her feet.
She had on a pair of work boots. She followed the direction of his gaze and said, “I was at the Castellinis’. We’d agreed on the renovation plans. I was checking the job site and just got back. If you could hold on a moment, I’ll change.”
“There’s no need. You look fine.” He winced, realizing that “fine” was probably not high on the list of dating compliments, so he hastily changed it to, “You look good.”
“Lunch-date good?”
Before he could respond, a male voice shouted from somewhere down the hall. “Is that your friend? Bring him back.”
“Yelling in the office isn’t very professional!” Audrey shouted in return.
The man’s guffaw was audible.
“Come meet my boss. But be prepared.”
A gray-haired man was sitting at a worktable. He stood when Sawyer entered. “So you’re the guy Willow robbed.”
“I am. My name’s Sawyer Williams,” he said, extending a hand.
“Abe Lebowitz.”
They shook. “What is this?” Sawyer asked, noticing a small model of a building.
Mr. Lebowitz replied, “It’s an addition we’re designing for a house on South Shore.” He lifted the addition momentarily. “That’s the original home. We’re adding another two thousand square feet onto it.”
Sawyer got down so that he was eye level with the model. “Wow, that’s impressive. You’re doubling the size of the place.”
The man fitted the new addition back into place. “Not quite doubling, but definitely making a more livable space. And thank you.”
“Well, we better get going, Mr. Lebowitz,” Audrey said. “Remember, I left you a salad. It’s in the fridge.”
“Rabbit food,” he groused. He looked at Sawyer. “She’s forever loading me up with rabbit food.”
“Quinoa?” Sawyer couldn’t help but ask.
Abe Lebowitz shrugged. “That, too.”
Audrey didn’t seem to take offense, he noted.
She smiled at Mr. Lebowitz. “I want you to live forever, that’s all. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“We don’t have any appointments until two, so take your time.” He grinned at Sawyer. “It was nice meeting you.”
“You, too,” Sawyer assured him, and he meant it.
“Really, I can change,” Audrey said as stopped in what looked like her office and grabbed her purse.
He shook his head. “You look good, really. Lunch is not a dressy affair.”
They exited the office and he was desperate to change the subject to, well, anything. “Your boss seems nice.”
“Deciding to accept a job with him, rather than a bigger firm, was probably one of the best decisions I ever made.”
They walked to the light on State Street.
“Where to?” she asked.
“Down toward the bay.” He nodded in that direction. “Why is it better working for Mr. Lebowitz than a bigger firm?”
“I’d interned the summer before my senior year with him. I learned so much in just those few months. The spring before graduation, I’d put out some résumés, but when he offered me a chance to work for him full-time, I jumped at it. That house he was working on? He let me suggest a passive heating system to the client. They didn’t want to put in skylights, but I suggested the tubular kind.”
Sawyer shook his head. “I don’t know what the difference is.”
“A tubular skylight is just what it sounds like,” Audrey replied. “It’s a tube that feeds sunlight into a house. It refracts it, making a bright lighting fixture. I put them in upstairs at my house. And...”
He loved listening to her enthusiasm as she discussed the passive lighting option.
Sawyer asked, “Will you be using them at the Greenhouse?”
“I will certainly advocate for them, but ultimately, the design will be decided by the high-school kids I work with. We’ll discuss LEED certification and design options. At the end of the term, all of the kids from each school will come together and we’ll settle on a plan. I’ll take it, fine-tune it and we’ll present it to the city and school district reps. I have an idea what sorts of things I’d like to incorporate, and things I’ll ask for, but right now, I just don’t know.”
“So the students will ultimately be designing the house?”
“Yes.”
They reached the bay.
“Where are we going exactly?” she asked, but then guessed, “Smuggler’s Wharf? The hotel?”
“Neither,” he answered, and led her under the Bicentennial Tower, into the ice cream store there. The woman behind the counter smiled when she saw them and handed him a cooler.
“Your elevator, miss,” he said with his best regal bow.
Audrey smiled. “We’re eating on the tower?”
“When your first date includes fireworks, you have to work at keeping up a high standard on subsequent ones. I thought a private balcony overlooking the lake might be romantic.”
“Sawyer...” she started. There was warning in her voice.
“Don’t dash my hopes and tell me it’s not.” He set down the cooler and dramatically clutched at his heart.
“It is romantic. I just don’t know if we should be going for that.”
He clutched at his chest all the harder.
She laughed. “Fine. Fine. Romantic, it is.”
They rode the elevator to the observation level. He set up two chairs and opened the cooler. There were salads and drinks.
“Very nice,” she said.
“And work boots are definitely acceptable footwear.”
“Work-boot-acceptable dates are my favorite kind,” she said.
He got her talking about the Greenhouse again as they ate. It seemed to relax her, and as she relaxed, she let down her defenses.
It was obvious that she was passionate.
Millie had been, too, but there was a difference, he noted. Millie had been passionate about herself. About what worked best for her.
When they finished eating, he put a quarter in the tower’s binoculars. “On a clear day you can
see Canada.”
She peered through the lenses. “Very nice. I’ll have to bring the kids here.”
“You’ve never brought them up here?”
“Clinton and Bea came with me after we went sailing last summer. Maybe we’ll try that again with Willow this time. They loved it up here, and Willow would love the view, too.” She looked at him. “We’ve talked a lot about me. Tell me something about yourself.”
He didn’t point out that she’d mainly talked about work and the kids, not about herself. Instead, he tried to think of something remotely interesting. “I work at the bank. I’m an only child.”
“And you’re close to your parents? You said your dad calls about snow.”
“Yeah, we’re close. They retired the year I started college. They love Flagstaff. Mom’s got a book club and volunteers at one of the nursing homes. Dad has golf buddies and spends a lot of mornings out on the course. He’s not very good, but he loves it.”
“Do you see them often?”
He nodded. “I try to make it out there a couple times a year, and they come home to Erie a lot. They bought an RV and think nothing of packing up and heading here on a whim. It’s a thirty-hour drive.” He grimaced. “They’re nuts,” he added with affection. “I go to bed at night and wake up with the RV in the drive and Mom making coffee in the kitchen.”
“So when you went to college you spent your summers in Arizona?”
He thought about Audrey’s college career. He didn’t have to ask to know she spent her summers working. He felt a stab of guilt at how easy he’d had it.
“No. I mean, I visited Mom and Dad, but I went to Gannon and had internships here in Erie during the summer, so I couch surfed. My junior year, I got an apartment with a few guys. It was a lot cheaper than the dorms.”
He’d been angry with his parents when they told him they were going to move out of state. They’d sold “his” home without so much as consulting him. Just like they’d let his grandparents’ farm go without asking him. He’d felt displaced both times.
But looking at Audrey now, it occurred to him how ridiculous he’d been. His parents might have left Erie, but they’d always been there for him.
“Do you have any relatives still in town? I consider Mr. Lebowitz and Maggie May as part of my family. They come over most holidays. They’re great with the kids. I guess you can say since I wasn’t born into a family, I’ve built one myself.”
