by Karen Karbo
RULE #1: LIVE WITH ABANDON
13. “I’ve finally found …” JC to ADV, 1952, Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Center for Advance Study at Harvard University.
RULE #2: PLAY THE EMPEROR
25. “I’m all for …” Mike Sager, “Julia Child: What I’ve Learned,” Esquire, June 2001.
42. “At last, I …” Julia Child, Alex Prud’homme, My Life in France (New York: Knopf, 2006), 112.
42. “felt like a frump …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
RULE #3: LEARN TO BE AMUSED
47. “One’s best evenings …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
50. “…with the design …” Will of Sophia Smith, 1870, www.smith.edu.
52. “I only wish …” JC to CMW, Noël Riley Fitch, Appetite for Life: The Biography of Julia Child (New York: Doubleday, 1997), 63.
52. “Passing tests doesn’t …” Noam Chomsky, The Purpose of Education, Learning Without Frontiers Conference, January 25, 2012.
56. “All I want …” Bob Spitz, Dearie: The Remarkable Life of Julia Child (New York: Knopf, 2012), 85–86.
58. “I am quite …” Appetite for Life, 77.
RULE #4: OBEY YOUR WHIMS
76. “She also had …” Joan Juliet Buck, “Joan Juliet Buck on Being in Awe of Nora Ephron,” The Daily Beast, June 27, 2012.
78. “I was a member …” Bill Buford, Heat: An Amateur’s Adventures as Kitchen Slave, Line Cook, Pasta-Maker, and Apprentice to a Dante-Quoting Butcher in Tuscany (New York: Knopf, 2006), 20.
80. “I do love …” Jennet Conant, A Covert Affair: Julia Child and Paul Child in the OSS (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), 224.
84. “He is an intellectual …” JC to ADV, March 1953, Schlesinger Library.
86. “cataloging and channeling …” Greg Miller, “Files from WWll Office of Strategic Services Are Secret No More,” Los Angeles Times, August 15, 2008.
RULE #5: ALL YOU NEED IS A KITCHEN AND A BEDROOM
89. “We analyzed one …” Julia Child, Alex Prud’homme, My Life in France (New York: Knopf, 2006), 25.
95. “How magnificent to …” Ibid., 68.
96. “Theoretically a good …” Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle, Simone Beck, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. 1 (New York: Knopf, 1983) (Updated edition), 3.
99. “bring out the best …” PC to GK, 1949, Schlesinger Library.
108. “The Puritans turned …” Tim Kreider, “The Busy Trap,” New York Times, June 30, 2012.
109 “If we could …” Ruth Reichl, “Julia Child’s Recipe for a Thoroughly Modern Marriage,” Smithsonian, June 2012.
112. “except for La Cuisine …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
RULE #6: TO BE HAPPY, WORK HARD
117. “There is so much …” JC to ADV, April 1953, Schlesinger Library.
121. “a perfectly …” ADV to JC, 1953, Joan Reardon, ed., As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child & Avis DeVoto (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010), 29.
121. “This is a …” Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle, Simone Beck, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. 1 (New York: Knopf, 1983) (Updated edition), xxx.
124. “We also ran …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
126. “…a nice photo …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
133. “…distressing examples of …” JC to ADV, 1953, Schlesinger Library.
RULE #7: SOLVE THE PROBLEM IN FRONT OF YOU
139. “If you get …” Polly Frost, “Julia Child,” Interview, August 1989.
143. “the one activity …” Betty Fussell, My Kitchen Wars: A Memoir (New York, North Point Press, 1999), 152.
143. “This was no …” Ibid., 155.
147. “old black honey …” M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating: 50th Anniversary Edition (Hoboken: Wiley Publishing, Inc., 2004), 81.
147. “for a painfully …” Ibid., 81.
147. “go ahead as so many …” Laura Shapiro, Julia Child: A Life (New York: Viking Penguin, 2007), 83.
148. “We intend to …” JC to ADV, 1958, Schlesinger Library.
149. “…short and snappy …” JC to DdS, 1958, Joan Reardon, ed., As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child & Avis DeVoto (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010), 259.
149. “unusual vegetable dishes …” JC to DdS, 1958, As Always, Julia, 259.
155. “I have a …” ADV to JC, 1955, ibid., 221.
155. “Use finesse as …” ADV to JC, 1953, ibid., 79.
155. “triumph of Norwegian …” JC to ADV, 1959, Schlesinger Library.
156. “Dearest Simca and …” JC to SB and ADV, 1959, Schlesinger Library.
RULE #8: COOKING MEANS NEVER SAYING YOU’RE SORRY
160. “Probably the most …” Craig Claiborne, “Glorious Recipes; Art of French Cooking Does Not Concede to U.S. Tastes. Text Is Simply Written for Persons Who Enjoy Cuisine,” New York Times, October 18, 1961.
164. “the talk of …” Laura Shapiro, Julia Child: A Life (New York: Viking Penguin, 2007), 110.
166. “We’re doing making …” Julia Child, “Your Own French Onion Soup,” The French Chef. WGBH, Boston. Season 1, 1963.
166. “cut your hand …” Ibid.
166. “The knife is …” Ibid.
166. “Knives are your …” Ibid.
167. “If you’re serious …” Ibid.
167. “you’ll enjoy it …” Ibid.
167. “You’ll notice I …” Ibid.
167. “Look at this!” Ibid.
167. “They’re perfectly delicious …” Ibid.
167. “It looks awful …” Ibid.
168. “It’s so hot …” Ibid.
168. “It’s possibly browned …” Ibid.
168. “California Mountain Red” Ibid.
168. “When you’ve added …” Ibid.
170. “vile eggs Florentine …” Julia Child, Alex Prud’homme, My Life in France (New York: Knopf, 2006), 90.
173. “These are the …” “To Roast a Chicken,” The French Chef. WGBH, Boston. Season 1, 1963.
174. “This chicken is …” Ibid.
174. “This chicken weighs…” Ibid.
174. “It’s twice as …” Ibid.
178. “Stop gasping” …“Wipe brow” Marilyn Mellowes, “About Julia Child,” American Masters, June 2005.
RULE #9: MAKE THE WORLD YOUR OYSTER (STEW)
187. “The lady with …” Christina Crapanzano, “The 25 Most Powerful Women of the Last Century,” Time, Nov. 18, 2010.
188. “the definition of …” Tina Fey, Bossypants (New York: Reagan Arthur Books, 2011), 271.
191. “I learned the …” Janis Ian, “At Seventeen,” Between the Lines, Columbia Records, August 1975.
194. “Left breast off” Noël Riley Fitch, Appetite for Life: The Biography of Julia Child (New York: Doubleday, 1997), 336.
196. “It was like …” Julia Child, Simone Beck. Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. 2: A Classic Continued: A New Repertory of Dishes and Techniques Carries Us into New Areas (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1970), x.
201. “The only national …” Marya Mannes, TV Guide, 1968 [clipping].
205. “Being the only …” Laura Shapiro, Julia Child: A Life (New York: Viking Penguin, 2007), 33.
206. “Her beans were …” JC, interview with Evan Kleiman, Good Food, KCRW, Santa Monica, 2000.
RULE #10: EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE A BLOWTORCH
209. “Make every meal …” Julia Child, Julia Child & Company (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1978), 50.
219. “Man is troubled …” James Thurber, The Dog Department: James Thurber on Hounds, Scotties, and Talking Poodles (New York: Harper, 2001), 114.
222. “Note: Dill greatly …” Las Damas Cook Book (Kansas City: North American Press, 1966), 47.
About the Author
Karen Karbo’s first novel, Trespassers Welcome Here, was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year and a Village Voice Top Ten Book
of the Year. Her other two adult novels, The Diamond Lane and Motherhood Made a Man Out of Me, were also named NYT Notable Books. Her 2004 memoir, The Stuff of Life, about the last year she spent with her father before his death, was a NYT Notable Book, a People Magazine Critics’ Choice, a Books for a Better Life Award finalist, and a winner of the Oregon Book Award for Creative Nonfiction. Her short stories, essays, articles, and reviews have appeared in Elle, Vogue, Esquire, Outside, the New York Times, Salon.com, and other magazines. She is a recipient of a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in Fiction and a winner of the General Electric Younger Writer Award.
Karbo is most well known for her best-selling Kick Ass Women series, which includes How Georgia Became O’Keeffe, the bestseller The Gospel According to Coco Chanel, and How to Hepburn. Karen grew up in Los Angeles, California, and lives in Portland, Oregon, where she continues to kick ass.
* Julia improved her GPA and purchased a 1929 Ford, which she named Eulalie. She used it almost exclusively to venture to speakeasies in nearby Holyoke. The car was a convertible. Most convenient, as it allowed Julia and her friends to get sick over the side without ruining the upholstery.
* Paul Child was possibly the last man in America to utter the words “I like my women to be intellectual.”
* Midway through the second season of The French Chef.
† Just because we adore her doesn’t mean we’ve lost touch with reality.
* Not hyperbole. An early draft of Mastering the Art of French Cooking was 1,200 pages long.
† In the November 25, 1966, issue the precise wording was “the Lady with the Ladle,” a much less poetic coinage that appears in “A Letter from the Publisher.” Somewhere along the way the phrase morphed into Our Lady of the Ladle, and it is misquoted as such by Time in “The 25 Most Powerful Women of the Past Century” in 2010.
* Not much is known about Boulanger, including whether he ever existed.
* Hereafter to be referred to as simply Mastering. I toyed with using MTAFC throughout, but it looks to my eyes like one of those unfriendly military acronyms.
† If there’s anything that dates The French Chef, it’s the obvious and touching lack of an on-set stylist. Julia’s coiffure was so flat in the back; given the mania for teased hair in those days, it’s hard to believe that one of her assistants didn’t think to rush out with a comb and can of Aqua Net and give the back a little volume. But as I write this, it occurs to me that aside from her sister, Dort, who was six foot five, the only people who ever came face-to-face with the back of her head were men. Eventually, Paul struck on the idea of employing a wig—so much easier!
* Terms I learned only decades later. When I was a surly child watching her cook, I had no idea what was going on.
* In which was stored a loaf of rye bread, a loaf of white, and a package of Van de Kamp’s oatmeal cookies.
† Friday nights, unless Mom found a new recipe she was desperate to try.
* From here on out, please just assume that unless otherwise specified the person in question is one of Julia’s friends. For her entire life, wherever Julia went, she had many friends. Friends who would come over and cook with her, friends who would throw her parties, friends who would travel with her, friends with whom (and on whom) she could play practical jokes. So many friends, that a normal person would be exhausted by all this human contact, but not Julia.
* The woman was known to make friends in the produce department at the A&P and was a devotee of the Halloween party long before adults went in for such things. Like Julia, she loved a party more than anything and would have thrown many more than she did, except that my father loathed a party more than anything.
* She wasn’t necessarily wrong; I know many adults who can in less than a minute access the deep anguish they felt at not being asked to the prom.
† It was so authentic I could confuse a herding dog.
* What do land managers do? No idea. Whatever it is, it pays better than, say, managing an apartment building or an Office Depot.
* Best not to mention the summer homes in Santa Barbara and St. Malo, an exclusive development near Oceanside, where, to this day, the homes, modeled after a French fishing village, are passed on from one generation of Sepulvedas, Doheneys, and Chandlers to the next.
* On second thought, maybe Jukes’s mom did try to force her to learn how to cook, and that’s how she found herself doing all this cool stuff.
† One thousand dollars in 1925 is worth $13,218.11 in 2012 dollars.
* Two young cute guys named Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus who’ve made careers for themselves being two cute guys with a basic website and no stuff.
* This isn’t a back-to-the-earth retro-hippie screed; I love my Chanel mascara.
* Her more studious roommate, Mary Case, was forced to move out.
* One of the great misconceptions of basketball is that being tall is enough. Julia was an enthusiastic athlete, but not a particularly coordinated one.
* Multiple times, usually.
† But not too provocative.
‡ Complete with incisive line-by-line critique.
* Yes, there’s an obnoxious acronym for the so-called top schools: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford.
† Not unhappily, I might add. Still.
* Invented in 1923 by Clarence Birdseye, with a $7 electric fan, a bucket of brine, and a cake of ice.
* That’s a lot; about $1.6 million in 2012 dollars.
* Even then Julia loved to talk about politics, but Pop forbade disagreement; if she ventured to open up a discussion, he left the table.
* Hereafter referred to as Whole Paycheck; self-explanatory.
* Her parents sent her a weekly $100 allowance, which she put in her savings account.
* I do blame my mother’s death, perhaps unfairly, for all of my cooking neuroses. I harbor an irrational belief that had she lived, I would have been able to rebel like a normal teenager, then I’d have come round to the fact that she was a fantastic cook and she would teach me her secrets, and we would stand together beside the stove with identical wooden spoons, stirring identical simmering Julia-inspired sauces, laughing and planning what we would sauté and simmer next. Maybe after getting a mani-pedi.
† Possibly until they invent an affordable meal-in-a-pill, which I would take over a jet pack any day.
* The only kind there is in the kitchens of super-celebrity chefs.
* Tapas come from the Spanish word tapar, meaning to cover. They were originally slices of cheese or ham used to cover wine cups to keep out the flies.
* Julia advised: “Always start out with a bigger bowl than you think you’ll need.”
† If you or your children have ever made a papier-mâché piñata or giant monster head for the school play, you’ll know the stuff I mean.
* Yes, human poo.
* So delicious it gets its own mention in My Life in France, and rightly so.
† Once, not long after my mother died and my father had moved to Newport Beach, California, we went to a nice restaurant overlooking the ocean. I can’t remember the occasion, but I do remember that we slurped down our oysters, and then wound up in the ER a few hours later, where we each had our stomach pumped. That was the end of oysters for me.
* Also Candlestick Park. When the Giants are playing at home you can watch the fireworks over the stadium both in real time and two seconds later on TV.
* One wonders how our relationship to cooking would be different if Julia Child had not had the good sense to get out of millinery.
* I own the original 1975 edition, which sports a picture of Julia on the cover wearing a snazzy blue and white floral Qiana disco shirt, and a terrific, literary description beneath the title: “With hundreds of delicious recipes—her own personal variations of the French classics as well as a multitude of new dishes using everyday foods (soups, stews, vegetables, beans, pasta, an American Fish Chowder, the Perfect Roast Turkey)—here is Julia Child, with her incomparabl
e gift for explaining the whys and wherefores of cooking, delighting you with her own experiences, and sharing her findings about everything in the kitchen from microwaves and magic mixers to meat cuts and weeping meringues.” Weeping meringues.
† In France it is believed that if you can bake bread, you cannot possibly make pastries, and vice versa. It’s one or the other.
* A vivacious Parisian married to a famous Lithuanian art historian and cultural advisor to the American Embassy, where Paul worked.
* I’m even unclear about this. A few friends who’ve lived in Paris insist it’s actually Bonjour, m’sieurs dames, a sort of contraction of the older, more formal Bonjour Messieurs, Mesdames.
* The cubes or strips of pork belly that show up in a lot of Julia’s recipes; they give butter a run for its money.
* We figured out pretty quickly that Julia stuck a lot of stuff in the oven that could easily simmer on the stove.
* Not that anything in Paris would fit her. Nothing in Paris fits an average-size American, much less a woman of Julia’s stature.
* A cocotte is a small cast-iron casserole, in which French comfort food is served. The chicken fricassee is supposed to be swoonworthy.
* Images of Alice Waters stroking a stalk of celery and fondling a lemon come to mind.
† In other words, putting out has got to be a priority.
* A favorite was the “light” Boswell in Holland.
* In this created-for-the-movie language, there are two words for “to see.” Tse’a means to see with your eyes; kame, to see with your heart, to “understand.”
* It’s a French tradition to always be striking about something.
* His duck breast prosciutto with juniper berries and peppercorns, cured in the basement-cum-meat-curing-cellar, is quite tasty.
† She was nicknamed after a popular make of car. The acronym stands for Société Industrielle de Mécanique et de Carrosserie Automobile. The modern-day iteration would be a chic, yet thrifty and eco-aware, friend named Prius.
