by Cat Cahill
His words made a giggle escape from her throat. “How is that? I was alone and frightened—hardly cheerful.”
“You smiled and you made conversation with my mother, despite being left alone to fend for yourself. If that isn’t an overly cheerful disposition, I don’t know what is.”
“I was confused,” Grace protested. “And embarrassed. I was merely covering that with politeness.” But she smiled even as she said it, and she wondered if Jasper wasn’t right after all.
“It’s an endearing quality.” He took that last step forward, and Grace’s breath hitched in her throat. He searched her for a moment, and Grace thought she might never breathe again.
“Do you know,” he said after a moment had passed, “I wasn’t upset when I received that wedding invitation.”
“You weren’t?” Grace tried to make sense of his words.
“I was angry at having wasted so much time.” His eyes never left hers. “But in truth, I felt . . . relieved.”
Grace forced herself to swallow.
“I thought you should know that.” He was close enough that she could see his chest rise and fall in rhythm as he breathed. Close enough she could smell the scent of something earthy and comforting that reminded her of walking through the woods back in Kentucky. Close enough that . . .
He reached out and ran his fingers across her cheek. His touch was soft yet powerful, and she thought she might collapse right next to the dishpan.
“Grace,” he said, his voice throaty and those eyes, as powerful as ever, pinning her into place.
He was everything she’d ever wanted. She yearned to tell him that—to open her heart and lay it bare for him. But the words spun in her mind like fireflies at dusk, and try as she might, she couldn’t catch them.
So instead, she stood perfectly still and let her eyes close as his hand cupped her face and his breath grew warm against her lips.
“One moment please, Mrs. Rensworth. I’ll see if my brother knows when they’re due to arrive.” Molly’s voice carried from somewhere far away.
No, it wasn’t far away. Jasper’s hand fell from Grace’s cheek and her eyes flew open just as Molly’s face appeared around the corner.
Chapter Eighteen
Jasper felt as if he’d just dodged an oncoming train as Molly looked at him expectantly. If she suspected anything, her face didn’t show it. For that, he was thankful. She already suspected he had feelings for Grace; she would never leave the subject alone if she knew he did.
He didn’t dare look back at Grace as he left the room, or else he’d certainly give away what had just happened between them.
What had just happened between them?
He struggled to keep his face neutral as Mrs. Rensworth asked him about her order of dishes. Yet as soon as he disappeared into the storeroom to search for her order, all he could think about was the shape of Grace’s lips and the sweet way she teased him. And how he’d come very, very dangerously close to kissing her.
But she hadn’t minded.
He gripped the shelving as he grinned at a stack of plates like a man who’d taken leave of his senses altogether.
She hadn’t minded at all. That had to mean she felt the same way about him as he felt about her.
Jasper found a crate in the corner of the room and began loading Mrs. Rensworth’s dishes into it. A twinge of guilt shot through him. It had barely been two days since he’d received word from Ada about her marriage. How was it so easy for him to transfer his affections to another woman?
No, he shouldn’t feel guilty. Ada was the one who’d rejected him, after all. And she’d done so for months by not writing. He’d been nothing but patient and loyal to her. And now that she’d chosen another, he was free to do the same.
He was free to choose Grace, if she’d have him.
His heart leapt at the thought, and he forced his expression into something that resembled normal as he brought Mrs. Rensworth’s dishes out to her.
Jasper spent the rest of the afternoon in the storeroom, weighing his best options for making his feelings clear to Grace. He’d lost all track of time when the sound of glass shattering and screams from the ladies brought him spinning right back to the present.
“What was that?” he shouted as he ran into the main room of the shop, which was empty of customers.
But he needn’t have asked. Molly pointed a shaking finger at the large front window—the one that he’d painted with the words Hill’s General Store. It now had a large hole straight through the middle of the words, and the remainder of the glass spun out in a spider’s web of pieces, ready to fall at the lightest touch.
Grace held tight to Ma’s arm as they stared at something on the floor, just a few steps away from the window. Jasper narrowed his eyes, but what he saw didn’t change.
It was a rock.
He made his way toward it and scooped it up from the broken splinters of glass. It was far too large to have flown up accidentally from a wagon or carriage.
Someone had thrown it into the window of his store—on purpose.
Anger crawled up his throat as fear paced its way along his spine. “He knows we got the sheriff involved.” He glanced up at Grace, who covered her mouth with her free hand. Her face had blanched white, her eyes a terrified pale blue against her skin.
“It might be nothing. An accident,” Molly said in a tight voice.
“It’s possible,” he replied. Or it isn’t. There was no way to know, not for certain. He looked from Molly to Ma to Grace. They were all vulnerable, so easy to hurt. A sick feeling swirled in his stomach, the anxiety forcing him into motion.
“Where are you going?” Molly asked.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he retrieved scraps of wood from the lean-to behind the store, along with a hammer and some nails from the storeroom.
“You close up. I’ll fix this,” he said to no one in particular as he walked out the door..
The ladies stared at him for a moment as he lifted one of the boards against the window outside. When he looked again, they’d dispersed, scurrying about to clean up the floor.
It wasn’t long before Deputy Jennings arrived to escort Ma and Molly home. Jasper told him what happened, all the while wondering if whoever had done this was watching. If he was getting angrier the longer they spoke. If he was plotting the next terrible incident to scare them all.
If only he know who was behind this. He’d gladly risk himself to confront the man if it would keep his family and Grace safe. But he couldn’t, and he hated this feeling of helplessness.
He lifted another board and aligned it to the one he’d already nailed in. Grace was alone in her room at the boardinghouse at night. There wasn’t a thing he could do to keep her safe there, except rely on the hope no one would try to get to her with so many other ladies around.
But there was one thing he could do.
Jasper frowned at the nail he held against the wood. The very thought of it bled his heart. But it would keep her safe.
He pressed his forehead against the board. It was the only way, if he could muster the bravery to do it.
If he could handle the cavern it would carve out of his life.
Chapter Nineteen
Jasper was silent as he walked Grace home from the boarded-up store. There were so many things she wanted to ask him. What had the deputy said when he spoke with Jasper outside? What did Jasper think the man might do next? Would he have kissed her if Molly hadn’t interrupted?
Grace worried her lip with her teeth. They passed the Burchams, but this time all she could spare toward Mr. Burcham was a polite nod and quick greeting.
What would happen if the man with the broken nose came to the boardinghouse that night, when she and the other ladies there were alone? The very thought made her not want to sleep at all. She’d sit up all night with a lamp instead.
She glanced up at Jasper again as they drew nearer the boardinghouse. He’d avoided looking at her for the entire walk. She wished he�
��d glance at her again, even briefly. His worry was obvious in the way he clenched his jaw and in the motion of his eyes, back and forth across the road and down the sidewalk.
Worry she might have prevented if she’d turned down his offer for work.
There was nothing she could do about that now, however much she wished to go back to that afternoon at the dress shop. But would she have turned him down? She ought to have, knowing what she did now. But then she wouldn’t have gotten to know him better. She wouldn’t have seen how much he loved his family, how loyal he’d been to Miss Boone, and how driven he was to build his business. She never would have seen the fire in his eyes when he looked at her or felt his fingers caressing her face as her heart thumped out a mad rhythm.
Would she have given that up to keep all of them safe? Was she a terrible person if she wouldn’t have?
Grace pressed her lips together. It didn’t matter. Not now. She couldn’t go back and change the past.
They were mere steps away from Mrs. Geary’s when Jasper nudged her just a little ways down the narrow strip of land that ran between the boardinghouse and the building next door.
Heart pounding, Grace wondered if he might try to pick up where they’d left off earlier, before Molly had interrupted them. She brushed a wayward lock of hair out of her eyes and ran her hands down the front of her skirt, mostly to keep them from shaking with the nerves that seemed to erupt each time she thought of how he’d looked at her over that pan of dishes.
“Grace,” he said, coming to a stop just a few feet away from the sidewalk.
She wished he would’ve taken them behind the building, and then nearly covered her mouth at the very idea. Since when had she been one to be so . . . so . . . ? She couldn’t even put a name to it. No, he was being quite proper, only bringing them far enough to have a private conversation. She should appreciate the way he considered her reputation, instead of wishing for him to kiss her.
“Yes?” she said, smiling up at him.
He didn’t return her happy expression. Instead, the stiffness he’d carried for their entire walk had seemed to melt into something almost . . . sad.
Concern shot through her. “What is it?”
He closed his eyes a moment, then stood straighter, opening them again to peer down at her. “You know my primary concern is your safety and that of my family.”
Grace nodded slowly. “Have you news of the man who’s been troubling us?” Perhaps Deputy Jennings had told him something.
“Unfortunately, no. But, I . . . I’ve come to a decision.” He kept his eyes on her a moment, furrowing his brow as if confused about something. And then suddenly, he reached into the pocket of his trousers and extracted several bills.
He handed them to Grace.
She took them, staring down at the money and trying to figure out why he’d given it to her. Surely it couldn’t be her wages. Molly had given her two weeks’ pay upfront, so she could afford to remain at the boardinghouse. “Molly already paid me for work.”
Jasper gently wrapped her hand about the bills. “I want you to purchase a ticket home. As soon as possible.”
Home? Grace blinked at him, every part of her seeming to go numb. “But I don’t wish to return to Kentucky.”
Jasper drew in a deep breath, his hands lingering on hers. “I know. But you need to.”
“No.” She shook her head and tried to open her hand to return the funds to him. “I don’t want it. I like it here. I like working in your store, and living at Mrs. Geary’s. I like this town. I like—” She stopped abruptly, on the verge of confessing her feelings.
“I need you to take it. It’s the only way to keep you safe.”
“But what about your mother? What about Molly? How can you keep them safe?”
A pained expression shot across his face, as if she’d just exposed the flaw in his perfect plan.
“Isn’t it better if I remain here, to help?”
“No,” he said gruffly. He set his jaw and drew his hands away. “You need to be on the next train out of town.”
“But I—”
“I want you to leave.”
His words were an arrow to her heart. She stopped breathing, and her eyes grew wide. He couldn’t be serious.
Jasper regarded her with those eyes, and it seemed the fire had gone out of them. All that was left was ashes. “I don’t want you working at the store any longer. I don’t want you in town. I want you to go home.”
She started at him as the words sunk in. The summer air grew cold, the light went out of the world, and everything Grace thought she knew vanished in an instant.
He didn’t want her.
Her eyes strayed to the money in her hand as the depth of his words threatened to consume her. “I don’t need your money.” She threw it to the ground, then turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could to the front door of the boardinghouse.
She’d just barely made it inside before the tears began to stream down her face.
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING, Grace crept downstairs. A quick look in the glass had told her that her eyes were still rimmed in red. She’d slept in fits, waking to the most all-consuming sadness she’d felt since she’d lost her mother. Mr. Burcham’s rejection hadn’t hurt like this.
But of course, she hadn’t cared for Mr. Burcham—not in the same way she cared for Jasper.
Grace pulled in a deep breath and opened the front door. She’d come back for her things later. Whether the man with the broken nose was waiting for her outside, she didn’t know, nor did she particularly care. Let him follow her. Unless he wanted to board the train with her, she’d be free of him very soon.
But Molly and Mrs. Hill wouldn’t. Nor would Jasper.
Grace’s heart clenched at the thought. What would happen if the man escalated his actions against them? She wouldn’t be here to know.
Because he doesn’t want me here, she reminded herself. One foot in front of the other, she made her way to the depot. She hated herself for doing what Jasper wanted. She ought to stay put, just to spite him. Lily would, and Grace yearned to be more like her sister. But she didn’t think her heart could take it. Seeing him on the streets, passing the store, having conversations with his mother and sister.
No, it was better she left. She’d contemplated going to Crest Stone instead, to stay with Lily, but her face flared at the thought of explaining everything that had happened. She’d return to Kentucky. She could live with Trudy’s family again, at least for a few months. Perhaps she’d find work in a dress shop there. And if she couldn’t, she could always take employment in a factory. She’d become a spinster, and live out her days alone.
The thought fit squarely into the hollow in her heart. Without Jasper, she was empty.
Grace felt like a ghost as she requested a ticket and handed the depot clerk the rest of the money she’d intended to give to Mrs. Geary. She only had enough to get as far as Denver. She didn’t know what she’d do once she arrived there, but she would figure it out. She pocketed the ticket, thinking of how long it might take to pack her trunk and hire a man to bring it to the depot.
She’d taken two steps away from the ticket window when a hand gripped her arm.
Grace looked up, fleetingly hoping it was Jasper.
But instead, she looked into the face of another man. A man with a very crooked nose.
Chapter Twenty
Everything reminded Jasper of Grace.
Her chair in the mending corner. The lunch dishes in the back room. A bolt of fabric that was the same shade of blue as the hat she’d worn yesterday. He couldn’t take a step inside the store without being reminded of her in some way.
Going outside didn’t make it any better. The sunlight made him think of her hair, the sky reminded him of her eyes, and each friendly face made him think of the way she smiled at him—in a way that was only for him.
He hadn’t slept at all, and had come to the store before dawn in the hopes that work might distract him from the nagg
ing doubt about the decision he’d made yesterday.
It hadn’t.
Instead, he found himself wandering the town as the sun rose, one of the few souls out at such an hour. Even now, as he stood at the southern edge of town, looking over the muddy Arkansas River at the trees on the other side and the scrubby hills that rose beyond, he reassured himself he’d made the right decision. She’d be safe back home in Kentucky, far away from the trouble happening here.
Far away from him.
Jasper kicked at a bunch of sagebrush. If he’d done the right thing, why did he feel so terrible? She’d looked at him as if he’d broken her heart. Had he?
A light sparked inside him, and he shut his eyes against the morning sun. It didn’t matter now. He’d ruined whatever feelings she might have had for him. She’d go back home and, in time, would forget all about him.
But he’d never forget her.
He’d realized that when Ada’s invitation arrived, he’d already mourned the loss of their future together. It was a slow sort of grieving, over the several months he hadn’t heard from her. And so by the time she officially rejected him, his heart had already closed that chapter in his life, even if his mind had insisted he remain faithful to her.
It wouldn’t be like that with Grace. This was sudden and acutely painful, and he wasn’t certain he’d ever recover.
The river crept lazily along, brownish-blue water traveling around and over the stones that littered its path. Normally, it was a soothing sight, but not today. Jasper felt as if he’d been so close to happiness, so close to having everything he’d ever wanted just within reach. And now he’d ripped it away from himself. He hadn’t even told her how he felt. Instead, he’d pushed it down, told himself it was too soon after Ada, and forced it away until his voice was gruff and cold when he told her to leave. It had worked, too. He’d done such a good job of pushing her away that she refused to even take his money.
He glanced above, into the leaves of a stately cottonwood, wondering what Grace would think of this little spot by the river. He could imagine her here, laughing as the breeze tossed strands of her hair across her face.
