“Yeah, I heard that.”
“Good. Hopefully it made you feel awful about what you said about her.”
So much for his hopes of her going easy on him.
“You know shit happens Thomas. You can’t control what the people around you do.” She flopped down in the chair smashing the coat she so carefully draped across the back. “All you can control is how you deal with it and I’m afraid I’ve not been a great example for you over the years.” Nancy sighed as she leaned back in the chair and looked squarely at him.
“I was relieved when your father died.” She waited, looking at him expectantly.
His brain was functioning enough to realize he needed to keep his mouth shut and let his mother get this out. In the years since his father’s death, they never discussed what happened. They simply moved forward, ignoring the past and the hurt it caused them both.
“He brought me so much pain, so much embarrassment, so much shame over the years. I could just never imagine leaving, but the idea of staying made me sick. I didn’t want to admit I failed, but you growing up with him as an example of how to be a man…”
Nancy was no longer looking at him. Her gaze was fixed across the room as she absently spun a strand of hair between her fingers, in another world remembering a time in her life she would happily forget.
“I decided you and I were leaving. I told him and he just went crazy. Screaming, throwing furniture.”
“He threatened to kill me. Said he would cut me into pieces and feed me to the hogs.” A single tear rolled down her cheek.
“Mom. You don’t have to-“
“He left that night, already drunk. I should have called the police, but I didn’t want to risk making him any angrier. I hurried to pack whatever I could and was loading up the car when the sheriff came to tell me about the accident. I knew I should be upset, but I wasn’t.”
“I remember the way he was. I doubt you were the only one not mourning the loss.”
Nancy sighed. “His parents certainly did, blaming me until the day they died. They never saw him for what he was. He was always their perfect prodigal son. I was always the woman who tied him down and limited the greatness they were sure he would achieve.”
“They blamed you?” He was shocked. It was ridiculous.
“Is that why we never saw them?” After his dad died, he rarely saw his grandparents. He always assumed it was too hard on them to be reminded of their dead son.
“Oh, I saw them. All around town, it seemed anywhere I went, there they were, glaring at me. They even called a couple of times to tell me I was the one who should have died.”
“What?” Thomas leaned forward in the bed, forgetting his current state, rage making him ignore the pain caused by the sudden movement. “How could they say that? Who in the hell did they think they were?”
“Kind of explains how your father turned out the way he did.” She waved her hand at him in a shooing motion. “Lay back, you’re getting all upset over something that happened years ago. Plus they’re dead, but that’s the whole point of my telling you this, Tommy. You can’t control what other people do. I let what other people did dictate the way I lived my life. I let your dad and his actions make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. I let his parents make me feel guilty. I let people I hated control my life. Hell, I even let it keep happening after they died.”
This conversation was not going the way he thought.
He thought Nancy would rip into him about what he said to her in the barn, not to mention the weeks of avoiding her before that. Maybe tell him he was an ass. He would apologize until he was blue in the face, tell her how wrong he was and hopefully get away without really scratching the surface of their issues. Instead, this was getting really deep, really fast.
What was bringing all this on? They had successfully avoided any talk of his father for over twenty years and now suddenly she was an open book.
“Have you been seeing a therapist?” That would explain this emotional purging. Hopefully she wasn’t expecting the same from him.
Nancy laughed. A happy, light laugh that went completely against the tone of the conversation they were waist deep in. “My son almost died. I’ve had two days to sit around and think on that.”
She fiddled with the flowers she’d set on the table. “Where would I be if you died?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Sad and alone, that’s where. I have no one to lean on. I have relied on you to be my support and that’s not fair.” Abandoning the flower arrangement, she crossed the room and perched on the side of his bed.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you think one failed relationship meant never to give another one a chance. I’m sorry I showed you other people’s opinions should dictate your own. I’m sorry you feel like you have to take care of me and I promise to work my way through this.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’ve met a man?”
“No and don’t try to distract me with humor.”
Thomas wasn’t sure what else to say. His mother had some kind of revelation while he was out and it appeared she expected him to follow her into the land of self-discovery. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to think about what I’m telling you. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have some serious issues that were spawned from my serious issues. I don’t want to be alone forever Tommy, but even more, I don’t want you to be alone. You are a good man and you were a good husband. You need to realize what Mary did is not a reflection of you. Only her.” Nancy reached for his hand, holding it between hers as she looked at him seriously.
“And she was a bitch.”
Thomas busted out laughing. Maybe he would like this new and improved version of his mother. Probably not until his head hurt less though.
He pressed the hand Nancy wasn’t holding to the side of his head trying to calm the pounding that came with each laugh. “Oh God, don’t make me laugh like that. Didn’t you hear I have a pretty nasty head injury?”
Nancy released his hand and marched back across the room, digging through the two large shopping bags she brought. “I brought some things I thought might make your stay here a little more enjoyable.” She pulled out a small zippered bag and dumped the contents onto the bed beside his uninjured leg.
Shaving cream, his razor, body wash and deodorant littered the blanket. “I brought a few of your v-neck t-shirts too. Hopefully they will fit over that.” She motioned to his head and the thick layer of bandages. “Maybe we can talk the nurse into helping get you a little cleaned up.”
**************************************
Mina pulled into the parking garage at the hospital and was pretty sure she was going to throw up. She was a grown freakin’ woman for God’s sake, not some teenage girl. She had to get herself together.
Ever since her discussion with Nancy, she had been in an escalating state of panic. The butterflies that started when Nancy told her Thomas wanted to ask her about what happened had mutated into a flock of starlings arguing over a single worm. Angry starlings.
She parked her van and jumped out immediately. If she thought about what she was doing for any length of time, chances were good she would pull right back out.
The soft soles of her ballet flats made her walk across the garage a silent one. A cool breeze swept through the open walls, chilling the exposed skin of her ankles where they peeked out from the hem of her skinny jeans.
It had taken her way too long to get dressed. She spent a stupid amount of time obsessing over the outfit, especially since it was supposed to look like she hadn’t spent any time figuring out what to wear. The floor of her closet was covered with rejects all waiting to be hung back up when she got home.
Forcing one foot to move in front of the other, she crossed the enclosed bridge joining the garage to the hospital and made her way to the bank of elevators. As she waited for the silver doors to open, she wiped her damp palms down the sides of her
jeans.
The cool air outside had kept the nervous perspiration at bay. After just a minute in the warmth of the hospital, she was already starting to sweat.
She could feel a flush creeping into her cheeks as she shrugged out of the soft leather jacket she threw on as she ran out the door, mostly for the ride home when her nerves would crash and she would be freezing. Thank goodness she had the forethought to wear a gauzy white tunic over a tank. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing she spent so much time deciding what to put on. “Much better.”
“Were ya hot honey?”
Mina started at the sound of a voice behind her. She’d been so wrapped up in where she was headed, she hadn’t even noticed the small old woman at the back of the elevator when she jumped on.
“I was. I’m better now.” She smiled at the little lady decked out in a lavender suit, camel colored shoes with a matching purse. A pill hat with purple flowers sat cockeyed on her head.
The woman smiled back, deepening the wrinkles beside her eyes. “I remember when I went through the change.”
“The change?”
She looked around to see if any of the zero other people in the elevator were listening before she whispered, “Menopause dear.”
Mina nearly laughed, but the seriousness on the woman’s face stopped her.
“It was terrible. All the sweating. I just hated to wear anything. Of course I did anyway. My dear Wilbur would have given me an awful time, and that’s the last thing you feel like with the menopause. But those men though. They never have that problem. Always eager, right until the day they die.”
“Oh.”
The elevator dinged as it stopped and the doors began to open. “Oh. This is my floor.” She stepped out and sidled up to an equally old man with hair growing around the hearing aids in his ears. He wrapped a grey sport jacket clad arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze as he planted a kiss on her unnaturally pink wrinkled cheek. She gave Mina a wink.
“Remember what I told ya dear.”
As the elevator doors quietly slid closed, Mina tried to decide which part of the last five minutes disturbed her more. The idea of her elevator mate getting busy or the fact that the woman thought she was old enough to be in menopause.
Definitely menopause.
Offensive as it was, she was thankful their little conversation had distracted her for a few minutes. It gave the sweat that was beginning to prickle on her forehead and upper lip time to dry.
Too soon, the bell sounded again signaling her arrival at Thomas’ floor. She stepped onto the tile floor happy to discover this area was significantly cooler than the lobby. Walking past the nurse’s station, she swallowed hard when the door to his room came into view. As she got close, a young nurse came quickly out, nearly colliding with Mina.
“Oh! I’m so sorry.” She paused, giving Mina a smile. “Are you headed in to see Thomas?”
Mina felt aggravated as a little flush came back to her cheek. Why in the hell should she be embarrassed about this girl knowing she was here to see him? “I am.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be the woman who found him would you?”
She nodded. That was kind of an odd and irrelevant question. Why was this girl being so nosy? What business was it of hers anyway?
Then it hit her.
This girl, baby really since she looked to be all of twenty-one, had her eye on Thomas. Talk about an unprofessional little-
“You deserve a pat on the back. Most people could never have thought on their feet so fast. You probably saved his life.” She adjusted the tray she was balancing on one hand. “Are you in the medical field?”
“No.”
“Well you might have missed your calling. Most people freak out over stuff like that.” She patted Mina’s shoulder. “Good job.” She looked back into the room. “Thomas! You have a visitor.”
She smiled at Mina as she started to walk away. “It was nice meeting you.”
Mina smiled back. “Thanks. You too.”
She watched, feeling like a jerk as the girl made her way down the hall waving at fellow nurses. Why would it even matter if the nurse did like Thomas? They weren’t in any sort of relationship and never would be. Actually he probably had no clue who she even was. What in the world was it about him that made her so damn out of her mind?
She turned her attention to the open door in front of her. Should she knock? Should she go in?
“Mina? You can come in.”
Holy shit. He was expecting her.
She made her way past a darkened bathroom just inside the door and into the openness of the room. The smell of flowers reached her almost immediately.
A large, beautiful vase sat on a table in front of the window. The jealousy of a few seconds ago came roaring back. It was an expensive arrangement. Someone liked him. A lot.
Thomas was sitting up in bed, watching her.
“I’m glad you came.” His voice was deep and smooth, wrapping around her, almost making her forget about the flower sender. Almost.
“Nan- um your mom, said you wanted to talk to me about… about what happened.”
“Did she now?” He smiled wide, revealing that gap she was so fascinated by. “Then I suppose I do.” He motioned to a chair close to the bed. “You want to sit down?”
She glanced sideways at the chairs by the window, next to those damn flowers. Sitting so close to him was probably a really bad idea, especially considering she decided she would stop lusting after him first thing tomorrow morning, but she really didn’t have an option.
“Sure.”
She slid into the chair, immediately remembering how awful they were to sit in. She looked up and found him watching her. Please don’t blush, please don’t blush.
Holy cow he was close. Almost as close as the day she spent a few wonderful seconds in his arms. Sort of.
He looked different than yesterday, and not just awake different. He was freshly shaved, the whiskers she could still feel on her palm if she tried hard enough, gone. His hospital gown was replaced by a soft looking, dusty blue deep v-neck t-shirt that matched his eyes perfectly.
“I believe I owe you a huge thank you.” That voice again. He spoke not necessarily softly, but gently. He drew his words out almost in a drawl, without the twang. The voice definitely matched the man.
“I don’t know about that.” She shrugged. “Anybody would have done what I did.”
“What exactly did you do?”
She swallowed, trying to moisten her dry throat. This wasn’t really a story she was eager to tell. “I was jogging by and the door to the barn was open.”
He was watching her intently as she spoke making it difficult to maintain her train of thought. “Luckily I um, had forgotten my ear buds. As I came up on the barn I heard a weird noise. I could see through the door as you fell.” She paused, dreading the next part of the story.
“You saw me fall?”
She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip.
“What did you do?” His voice was soft and gentle, almost as if he knew how hard this had been for her to handle.
“I ran into the barn to make sure you were okay.” She gulped trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. “You…” She took a deep breath trying to keep it together.
He reached for her, engulfing her hand in his. She suddenly forgot what they were talking about. His hand was warm and calloused, but not rough. His palm pressed against the back of her hand as he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this.”
“It’s okay. Believe it or not, I’ve dealt with worse.”
He chuckled, a dimple she hadn’t noticed creasing at the side of his lips. “So I’ve heard.”
Oh no. Damn it Nancy. Mina shifted in her seat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. What did he know? Everything?
“Your mom told you what happened with my ex-husband.” It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t anyway. She didn’t try to hide what happened. It just m
aybe would have been nice if Nancy had given her a heads up.
“She did.” He squeezed her hand. “You are one tough girl.”
“Just so we’re clear, I don’t make a habit of handling things that way.” She gave him a smile to let him know she wasn’t upset. “Now I carry a stun gun.”
ELEVEN
Thomas’ cell phone buzzed from the table beside the recliner, slowly vibrating its way across the glass top. His mom was calling for the fourth time this morning. She was hell bent on him going to physical therapy and it wasn’t going to happen. Not today, not ever.
The doctors didn’t seem to hold out much hope for him to ever be normal again. They pretty much said it would either get better or it wouldn’t. Considering his leg hurt just as much today as it did the day he woke up, maybe even more, he figured this was the life he was left with.
The phone buzzed one last time. That made four calls and four voicemails.
He flipped the lever on the side of his chair, holding his breath and clenching his teeth as the movement ignited a stabbing pain deep in his leg. He reached for his walker, wincing as he tried to pull himself up, keeping as much weight as he could on his arms.
He stood for a minute, waiting for the nausea that accompanied the pain to subside. Then he slowly began to shuffle along, supporting himself on his arms and good leg. One front leg of the walker caught on the edge of the couch, knocking him off balance causing him to twist his injured leg.
“Goddamn it.” He struggled to yank the walker free, hurling it across the living room when it came loose. It clamored across the floor, knocking over the TV tray beside his chair and spilling the full bottle of beer he just opened. “Piece of shit.”
“I thought she was exaggerating, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”
Thomas looked up. “Calling in reinforcements is she?”
Run (Never Waste A Second Chance Book 1) Page 8
