by Marie Harte
But did it? There had been other kids in the Institute, but none had taken hold of his heart like Remy. And after all their years apart, the hurt he’d suffered, her betrayal—his heart still bled for her.
“My relationship to Carter didn’t make me any less the person who had been your closest friend for two years,” she accused, showing the anger he knew she had to be feeling. “I trusted you. I loved you.”
Shit. She admitted it, and, even worse, he reacted to that confession, excited and alive for the first time in years.
She said “loved”. Not “love”, he tried to tell himself. “Yeah, well, same back at you. But the fact that you’d been using me the whole time altered my perspective. And then there was that whole ‘I’m killing you for your own sake’ bullshit.”
He stared with grim satisfaction at the shock in her eyes. “You didn’t think he’d tell me about your meetings, did you? Well, he did. Carter told me how you’d report to him after every one of our sessions. How you’d used your gift to bleed mine dry.”
“That’s not true,” Remy cried. “How could you think that? I admit I was surprised that he let me spend so much time with you, but I never told him anything about us. You were special to me, the only thing I had that he couldn’t take.” Her disbelief turned to rage. “Did it ever occur to you to ask for my side of the story before you assigned blame?” Remy growled. “I was a victim as much, if not more, than you were.”
Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair and stood, looking away from her. The ocean rippled and roared, and he tried to center himself. “When did I have time to ask you? Between him telling me and you trying to kill me?”
She blanched. “I did that for you. So he would think you were dead. I know I took you close, but I didn’t kill you. It had to look real.”
He continued, wanting so much to believe her. “I felt betrayed. I cared so much for you then, only to find it had all been a lie. Carter dumped that shit on me, then seconds later, you walked into the room looking guiltier than sin. Hell, you wouldn’t even look at me! What else was I to think? The next night, you came into my room looking like death. And you were so angry.”
Remy remembered the incident clearly. A week before their confrontation, she’d contacted Jurek. All she’d sacrificed and done to help Joshua escape, and then he’d mistrusted her. It hurt then. Hell, it hurt now. “That you’d believe him over me…” She shook her head. But she hadn’t known her uncle had told him that all their meetings were a lie. That put a different spin on things.
“Yeah? Well back at you. He was your uncle, and you never told me.”
“I was ashamed, okay?” She wiped at a tear that had gotten free. Damn, she’d told herself not to cry. “My own uncle tortured me and my only friend. God, I was a pathetic moron, starved for affection. Is it any wonder I didn’t want you to know?”
He frowned, but he seemed to be listening.
“You meant so much to me. You were my best friend, my confidant, my everything. You stood up for me when I was too scared to stand up for myself. You thought I didn’t know about your punishments. That every time you mouthed off and yelled at him to leave me alone, he hurt you. But I knew.”
She’d also known J.D. would never sit helplessly by while others came to rescue him. Her uncle had had plans for J.D. she couldn’t allow, plans that would complete his research and kill her best friend.
J.D. continued to look out at the ocean, his voice a million miles away. “I found out Carter was your uncle. Yeah, I was stunned and hurt and fucking pissed. But you didn’t hang around. You left. I waited and wondered all day. Then the next night, Carter told me he had something big, a new experiment only I could help him with. That everything between you and me was a lie.
“Then you entered the picture, your eyes so dark they looked black. You held your hands up and swore at me, called me names.” He turned to face her. “I couldn’t believe you turned that sharing of power against me. The pain was horrible, Remy.”
“God, I didn’t want to hurt you,” she confessed. “There was no other way. Jurek was coming, and I saw a way to get you out completely. If I’d killed you, Carter would leave you alone. But I never meant to kill you, just to make it look that way.”
Chapter Nine
“Really?” J.D. frowned.
“I’m the one who called Jurek and gave him the information to shut down the Institute. I wanted us to start fresh, together. But then I learned that Carter had finalized plans for his big experiment, the one to convert our energy into something he could use.”
“Hell.”
“Yeah.” She took a deep breath, then let it out and continued. “He was planning to juice you up, then extract your energy, transforming it into that special power source he’d constructed. And if that didn’t kill you, all the better for Carter to keep you, milking your power until you eventually withered away and died. That’s what he’d done to me earlier in the day and why I looked like death warmed over.”
“Jesus.” He looked shaken.
“But he never knew about Jurek until it was too late. Your boss was supposed to take us away that night.”
“Us?” he asked quietly.
“Yes, both of us. I had it all planned, but I hadn’t counted on Carter extracting so much from me that day. He hurt me, badly. And what he would have done to you would have been even worse. Because my results were so high, he figured he’d crank up his device, hitting you with more power.
“He was crazy with the need to succeed. And no matter what Jurek or his contacts did, I knew my uncle had too many friends in high places to be stopped. The man was obsessed. He’d never stop using us until he killed us.” She wiped her eyes again.
“Hell, Remy. Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“There was no time. I knew that the only way to save you was to make Carter think you were already dead. And it worked. I took from you, the way he’d taken from me. I didn’t think it would hurt you so much, and I had to make my contempt look real, so he’d think you meant nothing to me and believe your death.”
“You did kill me. Almost.”
“Almost,” she agreed. “I left just enough in you to keep you going, but not enough to show Carter he could use you anymore. I figured the Feds would take him away and give you time to escape. Except instead of getting captured in the takedown, he got away.”
“And so did you,” J.D. said thoughtfully and sat.
“Yes. I ran…after I talked to Jurek. I wanted him to take you away, to keep you dead, because Carter couldn’t be trusted. He didn’t want to do it, but I told him it was best for you. Because if you thought I’d been hurt, you’d come after me. And you needed time to recover or you’d certainly die.”
“But you could have come back to Jurek later. Why didn’t you?”
“I knew Jurek would help you, but I didn’t trust him to protect me from Carter. I mean, if my uncle—a man who by all rights should have protected me and didn’t—used me, how could I trust someone I didn’t know not to exploit me?
“Jurek knew about you, but I trusted him to keep quiet. And I had toned down your importance to Carter’s research, letting Jurek think I was the important one. So, as far as Jurek was concerned, you were some poor, helpless kid Carter had experimented on. I’d destroyed all the equipment and records, so no one would be able to continue Carter’s experiments or learn about your powers. And I knew that after all you’d been through, you’d never tell Jurek what you could really do.”
J.D. remained still, watching her. His eyes mirrored her own troubled thoughts. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t clue me in to the rescue from the get-go. Why not let me know so I could help?”
She had to look away, torn by the pain on his face. “I wanted to, believe me. But I was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react if you knew Carter was my uncle. I didn’t have anyone I could trust to help us. I mean, Jurek was a stretch. I only found out about him because my uncle had made notes about his enem
ies.”
“But after, Remy.” He sounded hoarse, and she turned to him once more. “Why didn’t you come find me after? Okay, so maybe you’d wait a few months for everything to settle down. But fuck. It’s been over ten years.”
She brushed the tears from her cheeks and cleared her throat. “I knew to track you down would only lead him back to you. I couldn’t do that. You had a chance to be free.”
“While you twisted in the wind,” he said bitterly. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He stood and thrust his hands into his pockets. “You were afraid and you didn’t trust me,” he said in a gruff voice. “I was never angry at your relationship to your uncle. Well, yeah, at first, but I understood later. But thinking you’d lied to me and used me… Carter made it sound as if our whole relationship was a lie. I didn’t want to believe it. But that next night… I wish I’d known all this before.”
“I had no idea he’d told you he and I were in cahoots together.” Remy sighed. “I should have guessed he’d do something like that. He’s such a bastard.”
Silence settled between them before he said, “I would have protected you. I would have taken you away.” He stared at her, then walked from the patio.
She stared out at the ocean, determined not to cry anymore. She’d cried enough for a lifetime. Now she finally knew the whole truth about that night and understood so much she hadn’t known. So why didn’t she feel any better? She’d always thought the truth would set her free. Instead, she felt weighted down by guilt and poor choices.
Just one more thing she owed Carter for, that prick. The lies and the trickery. She turned around and stared at the empty bedroom, missing J.D. with a heavy heart. Carter had taken away her only source of love and comfort since the death of her parents. And he’s doing it again, even now.
J.D. tried, but he couldn’t get her words out of his head. For so long he’d blamed her, thought her a part of Carter’s schemes. To find out she’d been a victim, his good friend all along trying to protect him, took the wind from his sails. And sparked a hearty dose of guilt.
She’d suffered for so long. He’d wanted to get back at her, but she’d already paid a heavy price—for helping him.
And Jurek, his boss, almost a surrogate father, had known. J.D. wanted to yell and blame Jurek for lying, but he’d also protected J.D. for years, given him a sense of purpose and belonging J.D. had desperately needed to be strong.
Damn it. Angry and not sure where to direct his feelings, he tracked down his cell phone and dialed his boss.
Jurek answered on the second ring. “J.D. Talk to me.”
“Tell me what happened that night. At the Institute. And no more bullshit. I want the truth.”
J.D. had never known his mother, and the loss of his father to cancer had been a serious blow to the young seventeen-year-old. Meeting and befriending Remy had been a balm to his wounded soul. The love he’d felt for her had lifted him out of a troubled reality. He’d felt so close to her, so tied to the beautiful girl with talents so like his own.
Jurek remained silent a moment. “Are you sure you want to know? At first you didn’t want to talk about her. Remy was the bad guy. Then when I tried to tell you different, you called me a bald-faced liar.”
J.D. swore. “Shit. That was what? Six or seven years ago.”
“In the past, right. You said you wanted to move on, so I kept quiet. Now you’re forced to deal with Remy, and the past is the present all over again. Do you want the truth, or what you think happened?”
“I’m a big boy now,” he said dryly. “I think I can handle a dose of reality.”
“I hope so. We can’t blow this opportunity to nail Carter because you’re feeling guilty about a girl who risked everything for you.”
The sinking feeling in his gut dropped like a stone. He knew, but he had to hear it out loud. Again. From Jurek. “Tell me.”
“It all started when I got a call from a young woman. I was working for the government then, a special branch within the Department of Defense. Elizabeth Remington Sinclair explained her relationship to Benjamin Carter, a man I’d had my eye on for some time. She was just the break we’d been looking for to bust the Institute wide open. She gave us facts, information, names and places. And in return, she wanted out. Freedom for her and a young man named Joshua Moran.”
He swallowed hard. “So what went wrong?”
“We arrived just as the building caught fire. A meltdown from one of Carter’s stupid experiments. Things were exploding all over the place. I saw Remy briefly when she handed you over to us. Son, she was bruised and bleeding. Wobbly, and so damn pitiful it was hard not to break down when I looked at her. She was so young.” Jurek paused. “You were near death, so I took you and told her to hold on. That I’d be back. The way the place was collapsing all around us, I had to carry you some distance away to our people, while another of us went in to save her. But she’d disappeared.”
“Did you look for her?” He had to know.
“Of course I looked. We all did. But she’d vanished. The fire grew worse, and we had to leave. So we did.”
J.D. clutched his phone like a lifeline. “Her relationship with Carter. What do you know about that?”
Jurek’s voice was gentle when he answered, “Carter was a monster. You know that. He raised her for ten long years. But for all that, she turned out rather well. Max and Cole think the world of her. She’s been through an awful lot in her life.” He stopped, and J.D. thought he’d finished, when Jurek added, “And it’s not over yet.”
“No shit.” He swore again. “Thanks.” Deliberately changing the subject, he filled his boss in on Brooks and the information he’d been digging through earlier. Then he said goodbye after a promise to return in a few days. Jurek didn’t question him. He too knew J.D. needed to iron out some things with his new partner. The sweet, devious, sad and sexy woman he’d left outside.
God. Knowing what she’d done for him made everything better…and worse. She shouldn’t have taken away his choices. He would have stayed to protect her. No question, no doubt.
He couldn’t help the physical need that pulsed every time he looked at her. But the emotions overtaking him were painful. To have been wrong about her all those years… Imagining the loneliness and betrayal she’d suffered, not only at the hands of her uncle but at his rejection as well, ate him alive and made him angry.
He hadn’t protected the one woman in all his life that he’d cared about. She’d only been a girl then, and he’d loved her with a boy’s caring heart. But now she was a woman, full-grown. And, fuck it all, he loved her still.
Fate had brought her back to him. The past couldn’t be changed. But the future had yet to be written. Carter remained a threat to both of them. She’d saved him before. Now he had a chance to save her, to even the playing field. But more, he had another chance to see what they might be, together.
Perhaps the years apart had turned them in different directions. She was no longer the girl he’d loved. Nor was he the boy she’d once known, but a man smarter and harder and stronger.
And he wanted her.
From their intimacies a few days ago, he knew she desired him as well. A common interest. Lust trumped guilt, hands down. Time to stop treating her like a scared little girl. To let go of the past. But could she do it?
He thought about all he’d learned, all the sacrifices she’d made on his behalf, without considering what he might have wanted for her. For them. And now he had a chance to be there for her.
Remy had remained a virgin for twenty-seven years. Waiting for him, he could only hope. He’d use whatever he could get. Because before they left this tropical paradise, he planned to claim his due from Elizabeth Remington Sinclair, one kiss—and one truth—at a time.
Remy lay in the tub overlooking the ocean and sighed, still troubled. After those last few tears had fallen, she’d realized she had to let go of the past. For good.
If J.D. chose not to believe her, so be it. She woul
dn’t worry or beg for his trust. Not any longer. She needed to focus on the case at hand and work to contain the threat of the Institute’s resurgence under Benjamin Carter’s helm.
She squeezed a sponge and let the cool water trickle over her chest. She wished like hell she could relax and enjoy her bath instead of imagining J.D. in the tub with her.
Odd, but she continued to think of him as J.D. She’d been doing that lately, seeing him as a new person and not Joshua, the boy she’d once loved. Probably for the best. He wasn’t the same boy anymore. No more than she could be run over with lies and threats. Nope. Not gonna happen. Ever. Again.
Firm in her resolution, she sat up straight, planning to leave the tub and get some much-needed sleep so she could deal with Carter’s mess the next day…when the door to the bathroom burst open.
She yelped and sank into the water. “J.D.”
He stared down at her, his blue eyes blazing. “Okay, sweetheart. This is how it’s going to go.”
“What?”
He started stripping off his clothes, and she stared in shock and awe as he exposed more and more golden skin. He had little chest hair, and his muscles attested to a man in the prime of his life.
“See. Ten years ago, you took the decision from me. You made the call, and you sacrificed yourself when you didn’t have to.”
“But I—”
“Not that I don’t appreciate it.” His shirt and pants gone, he started on the band of his boxer-briefs, and her mouth went dry. “But you pissed me off.”
“I—what?” she asked weakly.
He dragged his underwear off, and she stared at a very annoyed, and very aroused, Joshua David Moran.
“You’re going to have to give me a sincere apology. I mean, what if I’d saved your pretty ass at great cost to my own? Wouldn’t that bother you, that I didn’t trust you enough to value your input?”
“Wait, I…huh?”
