“Of course I don’t. Jess, come here...we need to talk. You are giving me a multitude of mixed messages.” He moved towards her as he spoke and Jess held up her hands in a defensive manner.
“Sam, don’t come near me. Please, we’ve made a terrible mistake. I don’t want you to make love to me,” she whispered as he reached for her sliding his hands down her arms. His expression was unreadable as he studied her anxious face.
“You are one mixed up lady, Jess. For some reason only you understand, you seem to prefer defending the likes of Tom and Pauline when they have gone out of their way to hurt you. Now, you are giving me the hands-off signal when only an hour ago you were begging me to make love to you.”
“I was not!” Jess cried, pulling away from him.
“Oh, come on, Jess. Can you honestly look me in the face and tell me you don’t want me?”
Jess lowered her eyes knowing he would see the truth. She loved him and wanted him more than anything in the world.
The silence between them seemed an eternity but she refused to lift her head. She could feel Sam’s eyes boring through her and sensed he had come to a decision. Opening the study door, he held it wide for her and his voice when he spoke was decisive.
“You’re right. It would be ridiculous to give in to a moment of mere lust to gratify a brief sexual need. Besides, I would be breaking my own cardinal rule to never become involved with members of my staff, including Pauline.”
Jess drew a shuddering breath at the coolness in his voice. She went to past him, when he caught her arm.
“So, my sweet little Jess,” he said. “Because we’re going to spend almost every minute of the next two weeks together, it is timely to put our lustful desires to one side, don’t you agree? No more games. Just pure, unadulterated hard work from now on.”
Jess could only nod as she watched Sam mentally lock her out, a shuttered expression on his face.
“As for Tom Hunter, who you so prettily defend, I’ll consider the options in the morning.” Letting go of her arm, Sam closed the study door behind them.
As Jess accompanied Sam up the long staircase to their rooms, she knew without a doubt he had made his decision. She had denied him what he wanted and fought against him physically and mentally, and now he had dealt her his own form of punishment. He had closed her out of his life.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“I thought you were going to miss the plane,” Jess said anxiously as Sam hurriedly sat down next to her in the first class cabin.
“So did I,” he replied, clicking his seat belt into place. “I’ve had a rip-roaring row with the airline but eventually they agreed to store my camera in the cabin instead of the luggage hold. I don’t know what’s the matter with them. I’ve never had this trouble before.”
She could imagine Sam being difficult about his precious camera and supposed no one could blame him. It was a very expensive piece of equipment and the only camera Sam would use. He had explained the workings of it in detail to her the day before and it was impressive. The last thing Sam would want was for it to be damaged.
Jess leaned back and closed her eyes, as the plane rose in the air, engines roaring, quickly leaving Sydney behind. She was very tired. In the past three days Sam had checked every requirement for the trip from rehearsals for interviews to checking the type of clothing they should take. She understood his professionalism but the emotional tension between them had been exhausting.
He had kept his promise and hadn’t as much as touched her since his cutting words after the party. Jess had slept in on the Sunday morning and woke with a dull headache. She wondered how Sam would treat her but needn’t have worried. He had spent all day in his editing suite not even eating the sandwiches Jess took him at lunchtime. In the afternoon she idly watched a movie on television curled up in the corner of the big sofa in the lounge. She heard the phone ring several times on the voice mail and could actually hear who was calling. Sam picked it up only twice, once to speak to Marty Fields, which Jess assumed, was about Tom, and the other call had been from Pauline.
Jess had cooked a Sunday roast for dinner and had enjoyed busying herself in the kitchen. When it was ready she went in search of Sam. He wasn’t in the editing suite but she heard music coming from the direction of the spiral room. Creeping up the stairs, she peered into the room only to stop short as she saw Sam. The stereo played a Beethoven Concerto at full blast but Sam slept, his dark head resting against the arm of the chair. Jess had crept forward and unable to resist his vulnerability at that moment, knelt beside him, covertly watching him and staring at his absurdly long lashes lying dark against his cheeks. With his mouth gentle in repose she had felt an overwhelming desire to touch the curve of his lips. She had steeled herself against these impulsive urges and had awkwardly shaken him awake.
Over dinner Sam had been withdrawn and quiet but complimented her on the meal. “I’ve decided not to press charges against Tom but the police will probably put him on a good behavior bond and send him back to South Australia,” he had explained.
Jess had felt a tremendous sense of relief and physically the tension flowed from her. She hadn’t realized how much strain she’d been under. After finishing his coffee Sam had once again disappeared into his spiral room.
Now as the flight started Jess felt she was leaving the stresses behind and as the seat belt sign went off she leaned back in her seat. It was a fifteen hour flight to Los Angeles and she hoped to sleep for a good part of the way. Sam had already taken out his briefcase and was sifting through some production layout plans. Jess watched him, admiring his classic profile and the tactile length of him; his denim-clad thigh so close she would only need to move slightly to touch him. She wondered for a wild moment what Sam’s reaction would be if she were to caress him with her aching fingers.
“Are you sure you have everything?” Sam’s question broke rudely into Jess' fantasy. Irritability swept over her.
“Well, it’s a bit late now if I haven’t,” she said, turning to watch the sun setting in glorious colors of red and orange hues.
“You’re so bad tempered. You should be over the moon. I’ve got rid of your pest of a boyfriend. You’ve got your big chance to meet one of our great stars let alone the opportunity to view first hand the beauty of the Arctic, and yet you are behaving like a petulant child.”
Jess' voice was low as she reacted to his attack. “I’m not. It’s you! Just because I won’t...won’t go to bed with you, you are treating me like a piece of garbage,” she hissed, folding her arms across her chest in a defiant gesture.
“There you go again. You are piqued because I haven’t chased you. You said NO, Jessica, and I am certainly not that hard up for feminine company that I need to plead with you to fall into my arms.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it for one moment. I’m sure every piece of gossip I’ve ever read about your love life is true. No wonder Tanya left you, having to put up with that,” Jess snapped. She bit her lip. It was none of her business what Sam did.
Sam obviously thought so too. “Why my wife left has nothing to do with you and I would advise you to watch your tongue, young lady. You are behaving like a shrew.” Sam half turned towards her and Jess felt the impact of his anger glittering in his brooding eyes.
Jess fumed under his glare. She leaned forward until her face was only inches from his. Her eyes sparked and her mouth tightened determinedly. Still keeping her voice low, the words fairly sizzled at him. “Don’t you call me a shrew...you...you arrogant, boring, rude, egotistical man. You have treated me like a clockwork toy in the past three days. You’ve just wound me up and set me going. Fetch this, do that, study this, say that. I am not a mindless moron and if this is how the next eight days are going to continue, I may as well catch the next flight back to Australia.” Jess panted to a stop, her breath coming in small gasps.
Sam didn’t give her a chance to continue. “Well, that’s just too bad because you are here now and I am going to make damn sure y
ou work your cute little butt off. I told you when I employed you I was a hard task master and if you think I have worked you hard so far, that is nothing compared to what’s in store. As for me being boring and egotistical and all those other names you called me, I’m sure you’re right. And let me add that I think you’re awfully cute when you’re mad.”
Giving her a brilliant smile, Sam leant back in his chair leaving Jess totally disarmed and gasping for her next sentence.
She was saved by the flight attendant who gently tapped Sam’s arm. “Excuse me, Mr. Armstrong. I’m sorry to bother you but two young ladies seated further back wondered whether you would be so kind as to sign your autograph for them. They are great fans, I gather.” She held out two flight menus and a pen for Sam to use.
Sam nodded at the girl and signed his name rapidly across the menus. There was silence between them. Jess knew she’d pushed him too far. The whole thing was stupid and was her fault. Sam had been kind and protected her from Tom and she supposed now it must appear she was ungrateful. If only he would treat her like he would any of the other staff members, in a companionable, friendly way, not in this dogmatic and cool manner. She wanted to gain so much from him and do well at her job. She had already learnt a great deal and it would be impossible to put a price on the enormous amount of information and coaching he had given her in the past few days, but all the time his manner had been aloof and uncompromising.
She watched as Sam clipped his briefcase shut and placed it in the rack above their heads. Pre-dinner drinks were being served in the first class cabin and Sam settled again and was reading one of her reference books on the Inuit Eskimos. Doesn’t he ever stop working, she thought despondently, dreading the long hours of the flight ahead of them and then, the even longer days and nights spent in his company. Perhaps she needed to sort things out now before they got any worse, if possible.
She tentatively touched his arm. “Sam. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things. Please, can’t we be friends?” She thought for a moment Sam was going to ignore her and then he shut his book and turned to face her. His eyes shone brilliantly in the softer light of the cabin.
“Jess, I’m sorry too for having a go at you but there is no way we can be just friends,” he said.
Jess gnawed her bottom lip in agitation. “Why do you say that? Do you hate me so much?” she whispered, her heart plummeting in despair.
Sam rested his hand lightly on her thigh and then moved to cradle her cheek, his fingers caressing her soft skin. “I don’t hate you,” he said, watching the faint color rise in her face. “It’s quite simple, Jess. I want you physically, as much as you want me. However, you’ve made the decision not to be involved and I will, of course, abide by your wishes. In fact, I agree we shouldn’t have sex just for the pleasure of the act. But, I can tell you it isn’t exactly easy to keep my hands off you.”
Sam leaned forward and kissed her gently on the mouth. “See what I mean?” he said against her lips. “The only way I know how to keep this urge under control is to not get too friendly with you. For my own sanity and yours, I need to keep you at a distance.” He kissed her again and Jess' lips parted to allow the kiss to deepen. She could feel her heart racing as her hand came up to cover his.
Sam drew away and gave an expressive shrug of his shoulders. He knew he was getting in deeper by the moment and for both their sakes he had to back off. But he was conscious of every look she gave him, every movement she made. She was enchanting! He felt he was tumbling down the side of a mountain not knowing how to stop or where he would land.
He sighed. Over the past few years his work had consumed him and he just wasn’t prepared for the impact Jess was making on him both physically and mentally. He was very aware of the rumors that were buzzing around about him since his divorce. They were hugely exaggerated although he had dated occasionally but mainly to attend formal functions. He still felt guilty about the failure of his marriage, knowing that a great deal of their problems had been due to his neglect. Tanya had told him repeatedly when they were in the process of breaking up that he was rotten husband material and Sam believed her. He’d screwed up-- big time! He didn’t deserve the love of someone like Jess with whom he knew he could get very serious. He had to push her away or they would both suffer the consequences.
“Of course, if you change your mind and want to climb into my bed one night, no strings attached, let me know,” he said with a laugh, trying to ease the tension between them.
He broke off as he accepted a glass of champagne from the flight attendant and handed it to Jess. He touched his glass to hers. “Here’s to a particularly difficult assignment. I hope we both survive.”
Jess was silent, brewing over what Sam had said. She was torn between the secret joy of knowing he still wanted her and the dismay of realizing how low in his esteem she appeared. She knew he felt nothing for her but a physical desire that any of his women friends could satisfy much more capably. Did he really respect her work, even though he had congratulated her on the Adelaide story? He certainly didn’t want to be friends with her, even for the time they were away.
She sipped her champagne and studied Sam’s bent head as he rummaged in the seat pocket for his earphones. He was wearing an olive green jumper over a casual cream shirt unbuttoned to reveal his tanned throat. His black hair was more unruly than usual and a spike stood up on the crown of his head. Jess suppressed the urge to reach forward and flick it into place but Sam seemed to sense her scrutiny as he turned abruptly to stare at her, his hands in the process of adjusting the headphones. His eyes held hers for long, interminable seconds.
“Don’t play the coquette with me, Jessica.”
“You presume too much, Sam,” Jess replied, with a catch in her voice. “I simply ask, seeing that we have to work so closely together, if we can at least be polite to each other.”
Sam placed his earphones over his head. “So be it,” was all he said as he leaned back and shut his eyes.
Jess had plenty of time to think about their future relationship during the long flight. Sam was courteous to her through the dinner service and then they watched the in-flight movie so there was no need to talk. When Sam began to work again, Jess settled down to doze and drifted into a restless, uncomfortable sleep. At one stage during the night she dreamt of Tom waiting for her, menacing and dangerous, and woke with a violent start disturbing Sam who had been sleeping peacefully beside her. He briefly patted her hand and murmured something about being glad he didn’t sleep with her too often.
CHAPTER NINE
Jess felt decidedly nervous as she checked her reflection in the bedroom mirror for the umpteenth time. She was dressed in what she considered her serious corporate style, being a snappy, French navy suit with attractive cream trim on the jacket’s collar and pockets. Teamed with smart navy high-heeled shoes and matching shoulder bag, she felt it was the best she could do for her big moment.
She glanced at her watch. Oh, goodness! It had past ten o’clock and she was due to meet Sam in the hotel lobby. Hurriedly grabbing her bag and briefcase, she made her way to the lift.
They were staying at the magnificent Century Plaza Hotel in Beverly Hills and this was the morning she would interview the famous film actor Todd Carmichael at his private home in the Hollywood Hills. Jess felt she had every excuse to be nervous, especially under Sam’s pedantic direction.
She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the lift. At least she was refreshed and her body clock had adjusted from the flight. She and Sam had arrived at nine o’clock the previous evening L.A. time, and had been met at the airport by Chip Sanders, a friend of Sam’s, who would work on the shoot with them.
It had taken sometime for Jess to get over the row she’d had with Sam earlier and then, just as they were leaving the plane he dropped another bomb shell into the already tense situation.
His words, as usual, were fired on her mind. “Jess, I know that business with Hunter should be over. He can’t af
fect us here. But with the gossip shooting around the world’s media about us, it may be appropriate to continue our pretend affair for the time being, particularly in L.A.” He watched her face for a reaction and under his close scrutiny. Jess schooled her features into a cool mask.
He really was impossible! Jess didn’t know whether she was coming or going, but at least he would have to be nicer to her if she agreed to continue their dangerous liaison. “Okay. As long as it’s for appearances sake only,” she replied sternly.
“What else?” he laughed, as they stopped to thank the crew for the flight.
When they arrived at the hotel, Jess said she would like to go straight to her room to bed. In front of Chip, Sam pulled her close. “Okay, sweetheart. Chip and I are going to have a drink in the bar and go through the production requirements for tomorrow. I’ll be up soon,” he said with a loving smile and pressed a warm kiss into her soft neck. Jess frantically wriggled away, blushing under Chip’s admiring gaze.
Jess sighed as she stepped into the lift to meet Sam in the foyer. Last night as she had settled down to sleep, she had decided that to survive she must concentrate on the work at hand. Heavens knows it was going to be difficult enough without worrying about her feelings for Sam. But, she did want him so. Every look, every touch made her want him more.
“I am infatuated with him,” she said out loud as she watched the numbers of the floors slip by. “Infatuated, not in love,” she told herself, studying the glamorous photos of the hotel’s various restaurants displayed on the wall of the lift. “I could never marry him and live with him. He is moody, artistic, rude, a workaholic and...and he would get bored with me. We are like chalk and cheese. We rub each other up the wrong way. He just wants me because he can’t have me and I want him because...because...because.” Jess stopped talking abruptly as the lift door slid open and she looked into Sam’s amused face.
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