Sam sighed impatiently as he released the button allowing Pauline to enter the house. “We’ll continue this conversation tomorrow,” he said brusquely as Jess turned and made her way to the kitchen. The last person she wanted to see was Pauline.
She made a cup of coffee and listened with half an ear to the sound of Pauline’s arrival. There is another person who will be glad to get rid of me, she thought, carefully balancing her bag and the coffee as she made her way to the stairs. Sam had carried her case up earlier and right now the thought of curling under the doona for a long sleep sounded very appealing.
Jess paused, her foot on the bottom stair, as she heard Pauline speaking in a loud voice from the lounge. “I felt so sorry for you, Sam, stuck with that little amateur,” she was saying. Jess gritted her teeth.
“Surprisingly enough, Jessica was quite brilliant,” Sam replied, his voice low.
Pauline laughed. “Brilliant in bed, I suppose you mean, Sam. Don’t worry, I know how these impressionable young things throw themselves at you but it makes no difference to us. I will always be your woman, darling.”
Jess' coffee cup rattled alarmingly as she listened to Pauline’s hateful words. She didn’t hear Sam’s response. She had heard enough.
She raced up the stairs and into the sanctuary of her room. Placing the cup and bag on the dressing table, she raised her hands wiping away the tears streaming down her face. If she ever wanted proof she was a play thing to Sam, Pauline’s spiteful words substantiated it.
Jess flung herself onto the bed. She couldn’t stay here under Sam’s roof. She must get away as soon as possible and she had enough money in the bank to last her for a few weeks. She would book into the Oak Tree hotel, near her old flat in North Sydney. She had stayed there for a few days when she had first arrived in Sydney and knew it was clean and reasonably priced. From there she could look for another job.
Jess lay on the bed making plans that would take her away from Sam. She thought of the wonderment of his lovemaking … how passionate he was and yet how tender. Was that how he acted with all the women he took to his bed? Was that how he treated Pauline? Jess turned her head into the pillow and cried deep, heart-wrenching sobs.
It seemed an eternity before Jess; all cried out, rose and gave herself a good telling off. “This won’t do at all, girl,” she said aloud. “You must start living your life. Now!” She spent the next hour packing her clothes and other belongings. She couldn’t take everything in one case, so she repacked many of her knick-knacks and clothes she rarely wore, into their original boxes and left them neatly stacked in the corner of the room.
She hastily scribbled a note to Sam. “Thank you for your kindness. I will arrange to have these boxes picked up as soon as I can--Jessica.” There! That was polite and non-committal, she decided. Setting the alarm for five o’clock, she crawled into bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.
At five thirty the next morning, her heart in her mouth, she crept down the stairs with her case, managed to turn off the alarms and made her way along the driveway. On the main road, she hailed a passing cab and was on her way to the other side of the city. Jess looked back at Sam’s rapidly disappearing home and said a silent goodbye to the man who had captured her heart.
A week later Jess got a job. It was only part time as a journalist with a local paper but it gave her enough money to manage on. She had become very friendly with the owners of the Oak Tree Hotel where she was staying, Maggie and Don Jones, and had eventually explained her predicament to them, leaving out a great many details about Sam.
That Sunday she had mixed feelings of pride and sadness when she watched her gene story go to air on the weekly World Watch program. Even if she said it herself, it came over well. She noted Pauline had introduced her as freelance journalist, Jessica Seymour.
However, two weeks later there was huge excitement in the hotel bar when a number of promotional advertisements featuring Jess and the Inuit story were shown constantly leading up to the Sunday night program. Maggie and Don were much more excited than Jess and insisted she have dinner with them that night so they could watch the story together.
Jess made light of things as the time drew near for the show to be aired. She was shocked firstly that the story took the whole hour of the program, but more so because it was introduced by Sam. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched his beautiful face on the screen. “This is an extraordinary story of a man who tried to cheat a proud people out of their natural heritage -- out of everything which is rightfully theirs,” Sam said in his husky, clipped voice. “The story was broken by exciting World Watch journalist Jessica Seymour. It was her tenacity and sheer professionalism which has made the telling of this story possible,” he concluded.
Jess was stunned and Maggie and Don cheered wildly as the story began. Jess lived every moment of it from the magnificent scenery to the simple honesty of Chief Notaki and the blundering pomposity and eventual admission from Kevin Harris. It was heady stuff and Jess squashed her feelings of exhilaration but she was proud and grateful for the way Sam had portrayed the story. Only she knew it was his skill that really made the story of worldwide significance. At the conclusion, Sam said Kevin Harris had threatened to sue World Watch if the story ran but the New South Wales fraud squad were investigating the allegations against Harris following information provided by World Watch.
Over the next few days there was enormous publicity in the media relating to the story, particularly reflecting on Sam’s relationship with Harris. Jess tracked Sam on many radio and press interviews and noted anytime there were questions about her, he stated that Jessica Seymour only worked occasionally for World Watch. Even though Jess couldn’t help feeling pleased Sam had run with their story and it had made such an impact, it still didn’t affect her love for him.
Time and time again she told herself it didn’t matter; Sam had never loved her--he had used her to satisfy his sexual needs. It took two to tango and she had let him make love to her knowing exactly what she was doing. But, this rationalization didn’t heal the hurt or stop the tremendous longing to be with him.
Jess continued to live at the hotel with her new friends. She phoned her parents when she first moved explaining some of the circumstances and asking that they told no one where she was.
It was four weeks later that Jess thought she had better rescue her other belongings from Sam’s home. She chose to go there when she knew Sam would be at work or perhaps away overseas but Mrs. Palmer would be there to let her in.
Even so, it was with trepidation she caught a taxi to Double Bay and once again, made her way along the drive to the entrance. There was no sign of Sam’s car, only Mrs. Palmer’s battered old bomb sitting in the driveway at the front of the house.
Jess rang the buzzer and waited patiently for Mrs. Palmer to open the door. “Jess, my dear girl! How wonderful to see you.” Jess was crushed into the loving embrace of the gregarious housekeeper.
“Hello, dear Mrs. Palmer. I’ve only come to fetch the rest of my luggage,” Jess laughed, spontaneously returning her hug.
“Come in, come in, Jess,” Mrs. Palmer enthused, ushering Jess through the passage into the kitchen. “I’ll put the kettle on for coffee.”
Jess sat at the familiar table rubbing her hand across the shining surface. This is where Sam had sat this morning to have his breakfast, she thought sadly, her throat constricting with emotion.
“Why ever didn’t you tell us where you were? Sam has been beside himself with worry,” Mrs. Palmer asked, setting a coffee in front of Jess.
“Has he? He needn’t have been. I’m fine.” Jess' answer was non-committal.
Mrs. Palmer patted her hand. “I don’t want to know your private business but something has obviously gone very wrong between the two of you. You look like a little waif with eyes too big for your face. As for Sam, he is more moody than I’ve ever known. He doesn’t sleep and hardly eats. I’m very worried about him.”
Jess' eyes widened with
concern.
“Why don’t you pop in and see him now. He is in the editing suite.”
Jess jumped up as if she’d been shot. “He’s here! But his car isn’t here?”
“It’s in the garage, silly girl. Now, go along and see him, only if it’s to tell him you are all right.” Mrs. Palmer gave her a gentle push.
Jess hesitated. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Palmer,” she said, her voice husky. “I can’t do this. I can’t see him--he has hurt me too much.”
Mrs. Palmer gave a small snort of impatience. “Jess! He needs to know you are safe. You owe him that. Now, go along with you.”
Jess found herself outside the door of Sam’s editing suite. He would have no idea she was here, she thought. The room was completely sound proof. She was shaking like a leaf. This is stupid, she decided. What am I so afraid of? I’ll say hello and tell him I have a job and thank him for the Inuit story. She opened the door and moving inside, leaned against it, her heart pounding.
Sam hadn’t heard her. He was facing the huge console watching the range of monitors. Jess was about to speak when she noticed the image on the screens were of her. She stopped in bewilderment as she watched the cleverly edited sequences roll one into another. There was vision of her gauche promotional takes jumping from the sand dune into Sam’s arms and her laughing with some children in the playground. Jess' hand went to her mouth in surprise as the footage showed her on the icebreaker shrieking with excitement at seeing the polar bears. A close up captured her animated face, her blue eyes sparkling with happiness. Then there were shots of her in the snow at Markson, all taken without her knowledge. Why had Sam done this, she wondered? It must have taken some time to edit. How odd he should sit there watching the film in brooding silence.
The monitors suddenly went blank as the film finished. Sam leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, a picture of despair.
“Sam, it’s me … Jess.” Her voice sounded small and shaky when at last she spoke.
Sam whirled around in shock. Jess anxiously studied his beloved face. He had lost his golden tan and his appearance was grey and gaunt, his chiseled features even more finely molded. His hair was unruly and there were dark shadows beneath his eyes. He wore a black shirt teamed with black slacks that added to his depressing appearance.
Sam stood up, letting out his breath slowly. “Jess, where have you been? I’ve been out of my mind with worry.”
“Have you? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would concern you. I have another job here in Sydney and going along very well.” Why am I sounding so formal, Jess frantically asked herself? This is the man I love, for God’s sake, except he doesn’t love me.
Sam leaned against the console, his eyes sweeping over her taking in the pale blue, lacy jumper clinging lovingly to the curves of her breasts and her well-worn jeans emphasizing her too slender hips.
“I’ve hunted everywhere for you,” Sam continued. “I phoned your mother who thought I’d gone mad but put it down to a lover’s tiff. She wouldn’t tell me where you were -- only that you were safe. I even hired a detective to check out Tom Hunter in case you had returned to him.” Sam’s voice unexpectedly cracked with emotion and Jess realized the strain he was under.
She hesitated, unsure of what to say and then blurted out “Why did you put the film together of me, Sam? I don’t understand. Is it for a promotion, because I’m not coming back to work for you, you know.”
“This is a private film for my eyes only,” Sam replied, switching off the monitors. He turned to Jess with a haunted look in his brilliant eyes. “Jess, I knew I was falling in love with you,” he said, picking his words slowly and deliberately. “Sure, I wanted you physically but falling in love happened gradually as I filmed you. Every hour, every day I fell more and more under your spell through the eye of my camera. I must have watched this film a hundred times willing you to step from the screen into my arms.” His voice was now controlled but Jess shook her head in disbelief hardly able to comprehend what he was saying. He was in love with her?
She stepped forward her eyes filling with tears as she looked up at him. “Oh, Sam. I love you too,” she whispered, placing tentative hands against his chest. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of you not loving me in return. I’ve been so miserable,” she sighed, not caring about the tears running down her face. The next moment Sam gathered her to him and held her as if he would never let her go.
“Jess. Jess, my love, don’t cry. God! I thought I had lost you forever and here you are. I can’t believe it.” he said, as his hands slid down her back pulling her tightly to him. Jess kissed him deeply with all the pent-up emotion she had hidden for so long.
At last they drew apart, their eyes dazed with emotion. “Come and sit here. I want to know why you left me and hear you say you love me again and again.” He drew her over to the lounge beneath the window and pulled her close.
“But you expected me to go, Sam. You accepted my resignation.” Jess' eyes reflected her bewilderment as she stared into the green fire of his.
“I know,” Sam replied impatiently. “But, I never really thought you would go, which goes to show how arrogant I am. In fact, I was getting ready to tell you the joke was over and ask you to marry me, when Pauline rang that damned door buzzer.”
Jess lowered her eyes. “I heard what she said, Sam. If I don’t tell you now, it will be between us for always,” she said quietly, studying her hands where they lay intertwined with his.
“What did you hear?”
“That she felt sorry for you bothered by impressionable young girls but she would always be your woman.”
“And ...?” Jess could feel Sam watching her intently.
“That’s all I stopped to hear.”
“Obviously, otherwise you would have heard me tell Pauline to take a running jump. That I had never been interested in her and never will be. I told her to back off from us both or she would loose her job and I intended to marry you. Did you hear any of that?” Sam sounded hurt.
“No,” Jess said, hanging her head.
Sam lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “Jess, I have told you I haven’t had an affair with Pauline. You are the only person I love. Sure, I accepted your resignation but I had been presumptuous enough to think you would marry me. I still want to launch you on World Watch. You have proved to be a brilliant TV journalist, but I hoped you would consider doing stories only with me, your husband. As for resigning as my dolly bird, as you called yourself -- Jess, I want you as my wife to love and honor for the rest of my life. I know I am moody and a pain to live with but I thought you were learning to love me. I would never have made love to you just to let you go, although I admit you made me so bloody angry at times,” he smiled ruefully, his hand caressing her cheek. “I was so jealous of everyone you associated with -- Todd Carmichael included. When you showed interest in him I felt quite crazy,” he admitted, bending his head and kissing her hands.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea you really cared for me,” Jess whispered, leaning against him, her head nestled into his shoulder.
“Sweetheart, I’m not sure how many ways I can show it. I worship you. I adore you. You fascinate me with your funny reserved ways and flashes of fire and I am truly in love for the first time in my life. When I thought you may have gone back to Tom, I was ready to thump the living daylights out of him.”
“Sam, I had grown to hate Tom. I was afraid of him.” Jess pressed closer to Sam as she thought of Tom and the heartache he had caused her. “We were thrown together because we lived in the same town and mixed with the same group of friends, and then he gradually became possessive and domineering. It eventually reached the stage where he would get so mad with jealousy he would slap me around. I gave myself to him thinking I loved him and he loved me in return but he was cruel. I never thought I could love anyone after the way he treated me.
“When I last saw him in Morrissey I told him I was moving to Sydney. He was so angry he beat me--not on my face
, but parts of my body. He said if I told anyone what he’d done then the next time he would kill me. And I truly believed he would, which is why I was so afraid when he turned up in Sydney.”
Jess' voice wavered and she missed seeing the searing pain and anger in Sam’s eyes as she hid her face against his chest.
“Shh, that’s over now. From what your mother said Tom has another girl and they both seem very happy, so let’s not think about him any more.”
Sam kissed her, a deep kiss full of passion. “Jess, let me tell you I had given up hope of ever falling in love. Every woman I have ever met told me I’m bad in relationships, including Tanya and my mother and I believed them. Until you came along and crept under my guard. Until, I realized I could think of nothing but you--firstly the sadness and hurt I saw in your eyes and then, when I had melted the ice surrounding you, I discovered you are everything I admire and love. Then, I managed to mess that up. When you disappeared I knew I had to find you. I pleaded with your family to let me know where you were but like you, they are intensely loyal and closed ranks against me.”
Sam paused, the sheen of tears in his eyes as he said, “And now, thank God, you have found me.”
“Oh, Sam. We’ve made things so hard for each other.” Jess sighed, pressing closer.
“It’s over. We can start from now.” Sam suddenly gave wicked grin lighting up his handsome face. “Let’s go upstairs. I want to make love to you.”
Jess blushed, suddenly shy but wanting him so much. “What will Mrs. Palmer think?” she whispered.
“I can assure you she will be delighted that we have come to our senses at last. Come on, my beautiful star reporter!”
Sam drew Jess into his arms. “Did you see your piece with Todd Carmichael last week?” he asked.
“Yes, I did. Not bad for a junior journalist from a tin pot television station, hey?” she teased, reaching up to press her soft lips to his.
“Not bad. Not bad at all,” Sam laughingly reciprocated, as he lifted her and carried her to his bed.
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