For the next few hours, Sarah rested on the couch, petting the dog and singing quietly. She had developed the habit of resting her hand on her stomach and singing lullabies her mother had sung to her when she was a small child.
When Mike finally returned, he immediately set to stoking the fire again. When he opened the door, a gust of cold wind blew in. Sarah turned around and looked at him with wide eyes.
“Oh my, the winter is really setting in,” she said. He nodded.
“It won’t be long now before we are not able to get down the mountain. Are you sure you want to stay? You must be longing for your home and your friends.” He came over and sat down across from her in a chair and leaned forward, his eyes intense. “You have never experienced a winter like I have, not up here in this cabin. It can be very difficult to live up here when the weather is harsh. Even in the summertime, it can be difficult. I don’t want you to stay thinking that it will be easy. It’s not.”
Sarah looked down at Buddy, running one hand over his furry head. “Do you want me to go back to Wickenburg?”
“It’s not that I want you to. Believe me, I am more than comfortable with having you here, which is kind of surprising to me. But no, it’s not that. I don’t want you to be in a bad place when you have your health and your baby to worry about.” Mike pulled in a deep breath. “I am worried about you, Sarah. I want you to be where you need to be.”
“I want to be here.” Sarah kept her voice low, afraid that he would try to convince her to leave.
“Are you sure? It’s going to be… it’s not going to be easy.”
Sarah sighed. “I am afraid to go back to Wickenburg, Mike, at least right now.”
“You know your friends must be wondering about you. Do you have your father? I know you mentioned your mother has passed.”
Sarah shook her head. “Daddy passed on when I was very young. I don’t remember much about him or what happened. I do remember that I loved him dearly. He was a kind man, according to my mother, very strong. A big man… like you.” She smiled. “He had a lot of big muscles and was very tall.”
Mike grinned. “Did he have a beard like me?”
Sarah giggled. “I don’t know. I guess that’s something I never asked my mama. She used to tell me that he had very strong hands and that he made her feel safe. She said he had very kind eyes. They were green. He was Irish and she was British.”
“They migrated to America?”
“Their families migrated when they were children and they met, married, and had me.”
“You have no brothers or sisters?”
“No. Do you?”
“I have several brothers. No sisters. One brother of mine died when he was a young boy. Thrown from a horse.”
“Oh, my, I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Mike sighed. “Yes, it was a terrible tragedy. Nearly tore my family apart. My mama and papa were completely devastated. But they had the rest of us boys to care for and they did the best they could. If I think about it, it could be one of the reasons I chose to come up here and live on the mountain instead of in town. It didn’t have to be Wickenburg. I have two brothers that don’t live in Wickenburg.”
“Well, I think you are doing what you need to do and you’ve been very successful living up here.”
“Rachel loved it.”
“How did you meet her? Were you living in town when you met her or did you come right up here when you were young and build this place?”
“My brother introduced me to Rachel when I went to his wedding many years ago. We talked and she was willing to come up to the cabin, which yes, I built when I was young. Only a year or so after the death of my brother. She was a lovely woman, very strong, very tolerant of the changes that she had to make coming up here. But it’s not so different as it is in town, is it? A little less convenient, maybe. But otherwise, everything that I do up here is needed in town, too.”
Sarah nodded, looking around the cabin. “I do see that. You have made this place like a small town except that you have to do everything yourself. And that is a lot of work, isn’t it?”
Mike shrugged. “It can be. But when you are by yourself, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. When I don’t need butter, I don’t have to make any. When I don’t want eggs, I don’t gather. It’s been that way for a long time. That’s just the way I live my life.”
“I like the way you live your life, Mike.”
He smiled at her. “Thank you. So you are sure you don’t want me to load you up in the wagon and take you to town?”
She chuckled softly. “No. I’ll stick out the storm right here.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SARAH IN LOVE
SARAH IN LOVE
The wind whistling through the cabin was so strong that it woke Sarah from a sound sleep. She turned over in alarm and stared at the open door to the bedroom. Mike was moving about in the other room, securing the windows, and putting large blankets up around the walls to insulate the inner cabin. He crossed in front of the open door several times and she saw that Buddy was following him wherever he went.
“Mike?” she called out. He came to the door and looked in at her, holding a lantern up so that it would shine into the room.
“I’m sorry you’ve been woken, Sarah. Did I make too much noise?”
“It’s not you that woke me, Mike. What is going on?”
“The wind can be very harsh up here. I have cleared a lot of land and it created a tunnel where the wind blows through the cabin when the weather is just right for it. Don’t worry, I have everything under control.”
“Do you need my help?”
He smiled in amusement. “No, my dear, there is nothing you can do.”
“When you are done, please come and lay down in here. I don’t want to be alone. I know you will not harm me and this is a very large bed.”
He hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “All right. It will do good to have extra body heat. At times in the past, I have tried to sleep with several layers of clothes on to keep from getting too cold. I will make sure a fire burns in here all night, too. But it looks like there will be a good deal of snow on the ground in the morning.”
“I will do anything I can to help out. I am moving around a lot better now.”
He nodded. “I know you are. I am very glad of that. Now you just try to get back to sleep. I will be in soon. Buddy… go on, boy, keep her warm.” He snapped his fingers and pointed at Sarah, sweeping his hand in a “go” motion. The dog, sitting beside him calmly as he talked to Sarah, looked up at him, moved his eyes to Sarah, and then bound over to jump on the bed. As if he knew all about her injury, he skillfully avoided jumping on her legs, and maneuvered himself so that he was lying lengthwise next to her, his large body pressed against hers when she lay back.
She turned on her side and faced the dog, resting one arm over his body, comforted by the heat that came from him and his quick breathing pattern that made her arm move up and down with its motion. She pulled the blanket up so that they were mostly covered.
“Thank you, Buddy,” she whispered in his ear. “You are very warm.”
Buddy made a soft, throaty noise that sent a thrill through Sarah. She smiled and snuggled against his neck. “What a good dog you are. What a good dog.”
She was asleep when Mike finished securing the cabin. He had placed a large board over the front door so that it would not blow open. There were thick blankets hanging from nails all around the cabin, covering the walls and windows.
He started a fire in both fireplaces, the one in the bedroom and the one in the front room. He didn’t bother with the second, unfinished room, since no one would be in there.
The fire in the front room would die down by morning but he was willing to take that chance. If he woke up in a few hours, he would stoke it, restart it, and keep the inside of the cabin as warm as possible. The most important thing to him was keeping the bedroom heated for Sarah’s sake. She may have thou
ght she was fully recovered and strong but Mike knew better. She was already a small woman and to be with child and sick, she was weakened, whether she wanted to accept it or not. Her will was strong but her body was not.
He threw logs on the fire in the front room and stood back to watch them catch, listening to the wind howl outside the cabin. He could feel the chill in the air and the familiar scent of newly fallen snow. Without the wind, the snow made the mountain silent as a tomb. No animals scurrying about. No sounds of nature to remind him where he was. Just pure unadulterated silence.
It was not that he minded that silence. He had come to treasure it after living on the mountain so long.
He thought about whether he should bring his chickens inside. Their chicken coop was strong and well-insulated with fabric, hay, and grass. He decided they would be fine where they were and he didn’t particularly want seven chickens roaming around his cabin. The thought made him smile. He watched the fire blaze up and held out his hands to receive some warmth.
After a few minutes, he returned to the bedroom and built up the fire that was already in the fireplace. He would stay up all night if he had to. He didn’t want the fire in the room to go out and the cold air to get in. It could be very dangerous for Sarah and her baby. He looked over at the bed, where she and Buddy were snuggled up together. For half a second, he saw Rachel. He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he clearly saw the outline of Sarah, her auburn hair pulled back in a cloth tie near the top of her head. He thought about telling her to let her hair down so that it would provide more warmth for her neck but she was breathing in a way that indicated she was asleep.
He let her be.
Mike knelt down in front of the fireplace and added a few logs to what was already there. He had piled up many more logs to the side of it in a wire basket. The heat that emanated from the fireplace was strong and battled mightily against the cold coming from the outside.
He felt a cool breeze and looked around the room for its source. He stood up, picking up the lantern so that he could see as he walked around, inspecting the walls for holes. It seemed to get colder as he approached the window. He sighed, realizing the sealing of the window was probably worn away and allowing the cold air to come through. He retrieved a large blanket from a trunk that was pushed up under the window against the wall. He didn’t want to nail it up because the sound would probably wake Sarah. He stood for a moment thinking what to do before he noticed that he had left several nails in the trim around the window from the last time he’d had to insulate the house.
He smiled, thanking his former self silently.
He pushed the fabric through the nails and secured it best he could. When he was finished, he stood back to survey his work. The fabric moved back and forth as the outside air came in and was pushed back. He raised his eyebrows. The holes that were allowing the air to come in must be bigger than he thought. Or perhaps there were more of them.
“I’ll take care of that in the morning,” he murmured, not completely sure it would make a difference whether it was day or night, the storm coming through was going to be bad no matter what time it was.
He turned away from the window and went to the bed, going around it to the side that Sarah had left open for him.
It was the same side he had used when Rachel had been alive, sleeping in his bed with him.
He pulled down the cover and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots. The fire was on the same side as him, making it easier for him to tend to it during the night but keeping some of its warmth from Sarah. He held both feet up in front of the fire, warming his thick socks.
He slid into the bed and pressed the warm socks against Sarah’s legs. She made a contented sound. Buddy was firmly in between them. Mike pushed his large body up against the dog, grateful for the warmth the three of them would make under the thick quilt.
As he pulled the quilt up to cover his shoulders, he thought about when Rachel had made it. It had taken her nearly six months to complete. It was made from some of the warmest fabric she could find in Wickenburg. There were no holes in it, nothing that would allow the cold air from coming through to them.
He closed his eyes and thought about the winters he’d spent here with Rachel and the days when he had been alone without her. The first year had been harder than he cared to admit. Along with the cold weather, harsh winds and heavy snow, his heart was battered, broken, and shattered. He found no pleasure in the holidays. Her birthday was in between Christmas and the New Year on the 29th of December. He had barely been able to make it through that month. If he’d been a drinking man, he would have stayed drunk the entire month and then some in January. He might have frozen to death.
Having Sarah in his bed reminded him of the happiness he’d felt when Rachel had married him and joined him on his small cabin ranch. They had rarely argued and, if they did, it was over in moments. He had never gone to bed mad at her and she had never gone to bed mad at him. He had always considered their love to be once in a lifetime. He would never find another Rachel.
Looking over at Sarah, her outline bright in the firelight, he knew that his initial thoughts were true. He would not find another Rachel. Sarah was a different woman, with her own thoughts, beliefs, likes, and dislikes. However, it was a possibility that she was another once in a lifetime woman.
He turned over on his back and stared up at the ceiling, where the flames were dancing like happy people at a party. His heart still ached when he thought of Rachel, even after all the years she had been gone. Nevertheless, his healing would never truly be complete, even if he and Sarah began a relationship of their own.
He wondered if she could ever think of him that way. Could she ever consider him to be a candidate for love? He doubted it. He was a mountain man; he’d lived his life in near isolation for so long, he wasn’t sure he would have the social skills to be a good husband to her.
He tossed and turned for about a half hour, keeping his eyes cracked open so that he could see the fire. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed of Rachel. She and Sarah were sitting on the couch talking while he made coffee, meat, and biscuits. Buddy sat by his side begging for scraps. The sky was a bright blue, dotted here and there with white fluffy clouds.
In his dream, he could hear Sarah and Rachel laughing but he couldn’t quite hear what they were saying. Both gave him warm smiles when he served them and sat near them. There was no need for a fire. It was warm in the room. The ladies were dressed in summer clothes, their hair pulled back from their faces in pretty bows behind their heads.
Mike had never felt so loved, so content. When the room became chilly, he woke from the dream and moved silently from the bed to put more wood on the fire, which was low but had not died out. He sat in front of the fire, watching it catch again and grow, heat flowing from the flames. He thought about the dream and how he had felt. It was not something that could ever happen but it was one of the most pleasant dreams he had ever had.
His heart was at peace when he thought of Rachel. Before Sarah had come along, Rachel was constantly on his mind, a part of him that never left. He felt different now. With Sarah in his home, he felt he might be able to move past the pain and suffering he’d been experiencing since her death. The isolation he had inflicted upon himself, something he’d thought he’d always wanted, until he shared his life with someone. It hadn’t been right since her death. Life wasn’t fulfilling, it was empty and void of something he truly needed.
The love of another person.
Sarah stirred in the bed, turning from one side to the other and groaning quietly. He frowned, wondering what pain she was in. Was she having a bad dream? Did her knee hurt when she turned over?
Whatever it was, Mike wanted to make things right for her. He didn’t want her to suffer anymore. He wanted to take care of her.
As he slipped back into the bed, he wondered if it would ever be possible for a beautiful, good woman like Sarah to love a rough mountain man like him.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
WINTER HAS COME
WINTER HAS COME
The snow blanketed the land around the cabin, covering much of the equipment he had sitting around. Sarah rose early in the morning, while he was sleeping, and went out in the main room to rebuild the fire. He had been up and down all night the first night and after that, she had taken to letting him sleep, making coffee and eggs for when he woke up. Buddy followed her wherever she went, just as he had Mike, and sat near her watching everything she did. She found it amusing and often gave him small bits of dried meat as a treat for being such a good companion.
The snow was so thick Mike told her he expected it to be there for at least a month or more. They spent most of their time sitting in front of the fire. Sarah had taken to knitting after Mike uncovered the trunk containing Rachel’s sewing things. Sarah was surprised by how much the woman had gathered and left behind.
“I can’t believe you saved all of this. Did you ever suspect you would need it again? Do you know how to knit?”
Mike shrugged, going through the trunk with her, looking at all his late wife’s things. “I know how to sew. And it’s a good thing. My clothes would have many tears if I didn’t. I don’t know how to knit, though. She never taught me. I did watch her quite a lot. I would bet I could knit if I tried.”
They both laughed. “Do you want me to teach you how?” Sarah asked.
He shook his head, laughing some more. “No, I will leave that to you. I can darn my socks and sew up tears in my clothes but I have no desire to knit a blanket or make a dress.”
“It’s not just dresses that can be made, you know,” Sarah replied. “I will need quite a lot of clothes for the baby when it comes.”
Mike raised his eyebrows. “Oh, no, you are right, aren’t you? Yes, the baby will need clothes.”
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