by C. P. Smith
Now, against his better judgment, they were climbing towards base camp to check on her friends. He’d had the presence of mind to keep them just off the path. His experience with crime scene investigation was limited to conversations he’d had with his cousin Jack. Regardless of that, disturbing the area a killer might have walked seemed important to avoid.
As they made their way, Max had to keep from laughing as Mia battled his sweats. At one point she’d lost her footing and when she threw her hands out to stop her descent, she let go of the pants and they’d dropped baring her silky legs. Unfortunately, for him, his hoodie was huge and covered her tight, round ass from his view.
“Don’t laugh,” she chided when he chuckled at the sight. He just grinned his crooked grin as he tilted his head and tried to see under the hoodie. “And don’t look.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied as she pulled the pants back up.
Right before his sweats covered her ass he caught a glimpse of her cotton panties covered with the face of a bear that he’d missed in the truck.
“Do you have a bear on your ass?”
“What?”
“Does everything you own have a bear on it?”
“I told you not to look!”
“And you believed I wouldn’t?”
“Of course.”
“Let me rephrase that. And you believed I wouldn’t, why?”
“Cause you’re a gentleman?”
Shaking his head Max grinned, then told her “I’m a lot of things, Mia, axe-man and God of Thunder being just a few, but gentleman? If you keep flashing that ass, beautiful, I’m gonna look.”
Mia looked stunned when Max finished, her breathing coming a little quicker. Then she recovered slightly and asked in a breathy tone “What would your mother say?”
Max didn’t hesitate; he knew exactly what she’d say. “Probably that he’s just like his father.”
Rolling her eyes, Mia turned and kept pushing forward as Max kept his eyes sharp, scanning for danger. The sun was low and soon he’d have to pull out his flashlight to see.
Five minutes of slow climbing later, Max caught sight of a large shadow up ahead on the trail. Recognizing the threat, he grabbed Mia’s shoulder and stopped her, then whispered in her ear “Don’t move.”
When she looked up at him with curious eyes, he told her “Keep your eyes down and don’t look.”
“What’s going on?” she whispered.
He shook his head, raised a finger to his mouth to quiet her then he mumbled, “Cover your ears,” as he raised his rifle in the air and shot off two rounds.
With a roar, the grizzly who had stumbled upon Zimmer’s body took off deeper into the forest as Mia flinched from the rifle blast.
“Stay here,” he ordered, but she shook her head no.
“Why’d you fire your rifle?”
“Bear.”
“You shot at one of my bears?” she gritted out.
“I stopped one of your bears from making a meal out of Zimmer, now stay here,” he ordered again.
“Oh, God,” Mia whispered, then sat abruptly and covered her face with her hands. Max figured that was just about right. However, it wasn’t lost on him that the man was probably killed for wanting to protect these bears and now one had made a meal out of him.
Max moved wide around the body, keeping off the path. He noted a hand axe lying on the ground not far from Zimmer’s body. Thankfully, the bear hadn’t done much damage and he could still see where the axe had nailed him right between the eyes.
Christ, this was a cluster-fuck, Max thought as he made his way back to Mia. This murder would bring in the media no doubt and put them directly in the sights of other activists when word got out.
As he reached Mia, he heard a shout from down below and saw the black cowboy hat of Chief of Police Duke Stetson heading up the trail. Duke, a tall man with light brown hair and blue eyes was in his late thirties and an asshole. He’d come to Trails End by way of Fairbanks and was still settling into life on the edge of civilization.
“Stetson,” Max hollered as Mia stood.
“Thought I told you to wait at the bottom?” Duke snapped as he arrived.
“Got a killer on the mountain and two people up here with no clue, you want me to sit on my ass and do nothing?”
Stetson glared, but said nothing in return. Then he turned to Mia.
“Ma’am,” he replied, taking a good long look at her, too long in his opinion. “How far up is your base camp?”
“Just over the hill, maybe another five minutes from here,” Mia told him.
“Hunter, take her and round up her friends. I’ll be up to question everyone when I’m done here. I’ve got my boys on their way up to search the area so keep them there till I come up. I don’t need you or anyone else fuckin’ up my crime scene by walkin’ through evidence and tracking blood throughout the forest.”
His jaw twitched at the insult, but Max nodded once, then took Mia by the hand. He moved her around the crime scene, then climbed the final leg of the path to her camp. When they emerged from the trees, Lucy and Frank looked up, took one look at his soggy clothes, Mia’s baggy sweats, and Lucy shouted, “Did you take a detour on the Mad Max train?”
“I still can’t believe Donald’s dead,” I told Lucy and Frank as we headed back into town.
“I can’t believe they ordered us off the mountain and that you’re a suspect,” Lucy replied as Frank drove.
“I don’t know Lucy, maybe the whole “She said if she saw Zimmer she’d use an axe on his balls” statement you gave the Chief might have been the cause of his suspicion?’’
“Yeah, sorry about that, but he caught me off guard when he asked about Zimmer manhandling you earlier, it just slipped out,” Lucy answered.
“God, this is so screwed up. Donald’s dead, we can’t go up the mountain until the crime scene is clear, and with all those men traipsing around the forest, the bears are likely to move out early. If that happens, we won’t get part of our research. I knew when I got on that plane yesterday that this trip would be a disaster. Why didn’t you stop me from getting on that plane?” I snapped.
“Time for shots,” Frank laughed.
“For some reason I don’t think prime suspects should be out getting drunk,” I sighed as I rubbed my forehead.
“Personally, I think being named the prime suspect in a murder investigation is the best reason to get drunk,” Lucy explained.
“Word,” Frank agreed.
By the time we arrived back in town, it was well past nightfall. Chief Stetson had allowed us to pack our clothes, but not until he’d searched them thoroughly. And to cap the “worst day ever” off, when we pulled up to the only motel the “no vacancy” sign was flashing. All three of us moaned when we saw it and after a moment’s deliberation on where to go and what to do, Frank started the Jeep and headed straight for the bar.
When we walked into Last Call, every head turned towards the door. After a moment of staring, the place erupted into applause and every patron stood.
“Why are they applauding?” I asked.
When Curly Potter, the pilot who’d flown us in approached and put out his hand, I had a bad feeling. I knew I was right when he hooted, “Nice aim with that axe missy, if you need a good lawyer, I got a cousin up in Fairbanks that will represent ya free of charge.”
“I didn’t kill him,” I gasped, but he just winked and handed me a shot of something brown.
After that bit of news, I needed a drink more than ever, so I threw back the shot while the bar settled back down.
Two women, who seemed vaguely familiar with big boobs and over-processed blonde hair approached and I noted one had a black eye. They looked like Barbie’s with their tight clothes and bulging assets, but their IQs weren’t near as high.
“Did you really bash in his head, then jump off the ridge to escape prosecution?” Blonde number one asked. Blonde number two jumped in stating, “She wasn’t trying to escape
, she was meetin’ up with her lover after she took out the hippie.”
“Wait, who’s her lover?” Blonde number one asked.
“Keep up Suzy, it was Max.”
“Does Annie know that?” She chuckled, looking over her shoulder.
“We’re in an episode of the Twilight Zone,” Lucy mumbled grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the bar.
When we sat down, I put my face in my hands, but the sound of a glass landing hard on the bar caught my attention. When I looked up, I saw the bartender from the night before pouring a drink.
“Drinks are on the house,” he told me then nodded once before walking away.
Horrified all these people thought I killed someone. Not to mention they all seemed thrilled Donald was dead. I stood up, climbed on my stool, then put my fingers to my mouth and whistled until everyone looked at me.
“Okay, everyone listen up. As much as I appreciate your thoughtfulness congratulating me on my recent murder, I, unfortunately, have to inform you that I am not nor have I ever been a killer. And barring any unforeseen crisis, I don’t anticipate being a killer in the foreseeable future. Now, if you all wouldn’t mind—”
“Um, Mia,” Frank interrupted as he tugged on my shirt.
“One second Frank.”
“Down, now,” a rumbling voice growled from below.
I looked down into angry green eyes and asked “What?”
“Ass in the chair before you make matters worse,” Max bit off.
“How am I making matters worse by professing my innocence?”
“There’s a reporter flyin’ in that’s how, you want your speech in every newspaper in the country?”
“Shit,” I mumbled, then jumped down, landing in front of Max. “Why does everyone think I killed Donald?”
“Chuck at the gas station heard you tell Zimmer you’d take an axe to his head if he touched you again.”
Of course, he did. Shit, shit, my luck was for shit this trip.
“Shit, I did say that,” I groaned. Then, my stress level being what it was, I snapped, “You know this is all your fault.”
“How do you figure that?” Max asked, crossing his arms.
“You and your mother put the whole axe idea in my head in the first damn place with all her “focus on someone you hate” business.”
Max stepped in closer, eyes shooting daggers, then he bit out “Clearly you didn’t focus hard enough when you let it fly.”
“Ha, funny guy, apparently I should have pictured you when I did,” I snapped back getting up on my toes.
“Foreplay, I dig it,” Lucy chuckled.
My eyes shot to Lucy’s, then I took in how close we were and stepped back, breathing deep to settle my nerves. Max stared back at me, glaring. Then he scanned my T-shirt slowly and grinned.
Looking down, I realized I’d thrown on another Care Bears tee. This one had Tenderheart Bear with the caption “Hug Me!” Well, shit . . .
“You have an unusual wardrobe,” Max chuckled.
“Was there something you needed?” I inquired ignoring his comment. I loved my tees, no way was I gonna let Max dis them.
Still grinning Max replied, “Actually, there is. I hear you don’t have a place to stay.”
“How the hell did you know that? We only just left the motel.”
“Martha Tallchief is the postmaster and she saw you pull into the motel and then come here. She told Debbie, who owns Smith’s Mercantile; she was in the post office after you left. Debbie immediately called Susie, who is my mother’s neighbor, and then she called my mother. Then Mom called me and told me to get my ass to the bar, get your asses to her house, where you and your friends can sleep till this shit gets sorted.”
“Jesus, it’s like a calling tree,” Frank muttered.
“Worse,” Max replied, “nothin’ in this town stays a secret with those four.”
“Does she think I killed Donald?”
“Nope, but even if she did, she’d still invite you.”
“Why, because she sleeps with a gun?”
“No need, she used my dad for target practice so she’s proficient with an axe as you well know. But even so, she’s just plain crazy.”
“You don’t think she could have—”
“No way she killed him,” Max chuckled.
“How can you be sure?”
“His balls were left intact.”
Six
Cock-o-late
Day three in Trails End started out like day two, well, not exactly the same. I was hungover, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t start the day with cock-o-late on a stick.
Right now, standing in Maxine’s kitchen, the sun was up, the birds were singing, and I was holding a chocolate penis on a stick. As I stared at the hardened chocolate, Frank emerged in the kitchen. He grabbed a cup from the table, filled it with coffee, then walked to the counter, picked up one of the candy creations and took a bite.
“First time I’ve ever had a dick in my mouth,” he replied around a mouthful of chocolate.
“I’d say that’s too much information, but I don’t have the brain cells left to care.”
“Wild party,” he chuckled.
“Who knew sweet ole ladies were so—”
“Horny?”
“Dedicated to orgasms.”
Last night, after Max showed up and invited us back to his mother’s, we all piled into the Jeep and followed him to her house. It was a log cabin style home with a large deck supporting an A-line gable with chunky trusses at the front and a green-metal roof. She has three bedrooms, of which she was only using one, so she put Lucy and me in one and Frank in the other. Max hadn’t stayed long, much to my relief and disappointment. He said he had men to round up and a dog to feed, so he’d left after we arrived and settled.
Maxine’s home was your typical Alaskan home with log furniture and animal-skin rugs in each room. There was a deck off the back with a hot tub that I’d eyed almost instantly after arriving, and I cursed myself for not bring a bathing suit. Her kitchen was at the back of the house overlooking the deck, and she’d done it in black granite and stainless steel. It had a wraparound counter that looked into a great room and a big pine table that she’d set to feed us. She’d made a pot roast for dinner and we’d all gathered to eat when her doorbell rang.
That’s when the evening got crazy.
Martha Tallchief, Trails End postmaster and from what I could tell the town gossip, had stopped by to drop off supplies for the party. Apparently, they were having a party at Maxine’s house tonight and they’d wanted to get a head start on the refreshments a day early. Martha, unlike Maxine, was a stout woman with short gray hair of Native American heritage and she dressed like most of the men in town. Meaning, she had on flannel, jeans, and boots. Maxine, on the other hand, was slim, dressed casual, but feminine in a cream colored sweater and jeans and she wore her long, beautiful gray hair braided down her back. They were what I’d call the “Lucy and Ethel” of the seniors in Trails End and by the end of the night Lucy, Frank, and I was in stitches.
See, this wasn’t any old party they were having; it wasn’t Tupperware or Mary Kay. No, Maxine and Martha were in business together supplying adult toys to anyone in Trails End that wanted them.
Passion consultants was the term they used and once a month they invited, by invitation only, friends to sell, demonstrate, or replace any of the three hundred products that their company sold.
Now, as you can imagine, Lucy and I were on-board with hearing about their latest products. Frank, not so much. He’d retired to the great room with a “See ya,” while Maxine pulled out her catalog for Lucy and me to peruse.
Then the blender came out, the margaritas were mixed and the melting of chocolate for the cock-o-lates on a stick began.
Four hours and five margaritas later I was drunk, and I can now check “hot-tubing in the nude” off on my list of things to do before I die. I can also check off “caught by hunky lumberjack while in the hot tub naked
,” too.
Imagine it, a starry night, the wind blowing, and me in the hot tub soaking my sore muscles from my fall into the river. The moon was brilliant and glowing as I laid my head against the side, staring at the bright globe. The stars were twinkling and at that moment, all was right in my world. Then, out of now where, a large dog, wolf-like in appearance, bound into the hot tub with me. He nailed me in the face with his tongue while I tried in earnest to push him back. That’s when I heard a rumbling voice bark, “Muttley.”
I turned my head, saw Max leaning in the doorway, and grabbed the dog to cover myself.
“Turn around,” I hissed.
“And miss this? No way.”
“This isn’t funny,” I whined.
“It is from where I’m standing’,’’ he grinned, then grabbed my towel from the chair and walked over to the hot tub.
“Out before you catch cold.”
I glared at him, but he just stood there with the towel open, waiting.
“Fine, but close your eyes.”
“Think we’ve already established the fact I’m not a gentleman,” he answered without shame as the dog broke from my grip, leaving me with no cover.
Crossing my arms to cover my breasts, because clearly I thought that would hide them (copious amounts of alcohol give you super powers), Max’s lip twitched at my move then he took a long slow look. His eyes heated and I felt my cheeks warm as stared me down.
Now what?
The longer I sat there, the longer he could get his fill of my naked body. And considering his mother sold sex toys for a living, I didn’t think she would be much help if I called out to her.
Hmm, stay curled up trying to cover all my bits and pieces or bite-the-bullet and just get it over with.
I’ll remind you, I was a tad drunk and not in my right mind, so that being said, I figured what the hell. I got up, stepped out, and stood there as he wrapped a towel around me.
“You know, if you were my woman I’d be pissed you were out here naked while another man was in the house,” he announced as he grabbed another towel and started drying my arms.
“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not. Besides, he went to bed an hour ago,” I explained as he moved to my hair, roughing it up with a towel.
