by Lexi Blake
“Aren’t you going after her?”
Flynn. Laurel was gone, but Flynn was still here. His younger brother. The one dear old dad wanted. It was so fucking good to have a place to throw his hate. He turned and was slightly pleased that Flynn took a step back. He would bet Flynn had never had to defend himself because no one was around to help him. Flynn would have been given the best of everything while Mitch hadn’t even gotten fucking scraps. “I would rather deal with you, Adler. You want to explain why you’re here fucking around with my submissive?”
Flynn’s eyes narrowed. “Submissive?”
Oh this was going to be fun. He was sure Flynn was perfectly vanilla and would be so horrified at big brother’s perversions. “Yes. You were flirting with my sub, Adler. When I talked about punishing her I meant pulling her skirt up and smacking her ass because it makes her hot. I’ve tied her up six ways to Sunday and I didn’t leave her untouched, if you know what I mean. You couldn’t handle her even if I allowed it, which I won’t. Go back to California, you little prick.”
Flynn’s face went red, but he took a step forward, his fists clenched at his sides. “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t surprise me to find out you’re an abusive piece of shit.”
Like he hadn’t heard that before. He turned and started walking to his SUV. He had work to do. He would find a way to get her back. Oh, he’d do it in a nasty way, but she was going to be back in his home, in his bed before she could play around with someone else.
“Mitch.” Flynn was suddenly beside him, jogging to keep up. “Mitch, I said that in anger. I’m sorry. I’m not a complete idiot. I watch TV and stuff. I know some people have relationships like that. Hell, I even knew you went to clubs. It was just surprising to hear you say it like that. Which I’m sure was why you did it. You seem to want me to think the worst of you.”
Mitch turned. Flynn didn’t seem to understand him at all. “I don’t care what you think. That’s why I avoid you. I don’t care about you or Dad or anyone at all, so get the fuck out of my state. Why do you think I left California? It damn sure wasn’t to get closer to you. Go back to your cushy life and leave me alone.”
Flynn had cost him everything. If the jackass had stayed away, Laurel would have been sitting at her desk and he would be the one taking her to the police station. He would be the one holding her hand and promising her everything would be fine. He would be the one she turned to.
He crossed the street and stalked toward his car, all the while thinking about how he was going to keep her. He was stupid. He knew he’d been a major asshole, but she was in the wrong, too. She knew he didn’t talk about his past unless he specifically brought it up, and she’d sat right down with one of the biggest pieces of his past and had lunch. She’d known damn well he wouldn’t have approved and she’d done it anyway.
Likely because she thought she could help in some way. Because Flynn had given her some kind of sad story and Laurel had bought it hook, line, and sinker.
He was about to get into his car when something struck the windshield. A rock. He turned and Flynn had another one in his hand.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Flynn threw that one, too. He let that sucker fly and it cracked against the windshield. “Me? What the fuck is wrong with you? You think my life is so cushy? Dad is dying, you asshole. He’s dying and the only thing he wants is to spend a few minutes with you. I have no idea why since it’s obvious to me you aren’t worth talking to, but does he listen to me? Fuck no. I’ve spent the last five years of my life taking care of him, but he wants you. And I won’t even go into what’s happening with Chase. I’m going to lose him. Do you even care? You’ve got a little brother and he’s going to die because I can’t convince him life doesn’t suck. Because for him…for him it does. So I’m going to be alone and miserable very soon, and I’ll still be happier than you are because at least I’ll have tried.”
He wanted to pick up one of those rocks, shove it right back at Flynn, get in his car and leave. This wasn’t his problem. Laurel was his problem. Laurel was all that mattered now.
He’d screwed up with her so badly she would likely never come back, so it didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter that Laurel would want him to have some small piece of empathy for the brother who hadn’t asked to be born either. It didn’t matter that Laurel would think more of him if he would put aside his pride for two seconds and talk to the man he hated for no good reason except the circumstances of his birth.
Flynn hadn’t asked for any of this. He hadn’t had a choice in parent or birth order, but he was making a choice by seeking out Mitch.
And Mitch had to make a choice, too, and it didn’t matter what Laurel would want because Laurel was gone.
So he was going to smash his brother’s face in and that would make him feel better.
For a second the sun caught Flynn, illuminating his features, and Mitch realized he’d seen that face in the mirror. He’d seen the starkness, the emptiness. He’d seen the hopelessness reflected there before he put on his mask for the day.
Damn it.
“How bad is he?”
Flynn’s head came up. “Dad has stage four pancreatic cancer. He doesn’t have long. I don’t know what to do. He asked me to reach out. He wants to talk to you before he dies.”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
“Please. You don’t have to talk. Please just listen. What do I have to do? If you want me to beg, I will.”
“Why would I want you to beg?”
Flynn shrugged. “Maybe you would like seeing me on my knees. Maybe it would make you feel better.”
To see the chosen child beg and squirm and plead? “No, it won’t make me feel better, Flynn. Let me think about it. Can I have a day or two?”
“Yeah.” Flynn suddenly looked younger than he had before, his eyes wide. “Of course. Take the time you need, but know he doesn’t have a lot of it.”
“What did you mean about…” He’d been about to pretend he didn’t know his youngest brother’s name. He did it out of habit. He did it to show the world he didn’t give a damn. “Chase? How old is he anyway?”
Flynn stepped forward, his shoulders sagging a bit. “He’ll be seventeen soon. If he makes it.”
Don’t ask. Don’t. Stay the fuck out of it. He didn’t want to go into this. He liked his life the way it was. Except he didn’t. He only liked it because Laurel had been with him, and now she was gone. “Why do you say that?”
“He got mixed up in drugs. He says his overdose was an accident, but I found out he’s being bullied by this kid at school. I tried to get Dad to pull him out and let him go to the public school, but they have a problem with violence there. I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s only one kid?”
“It’s a group, but you know how these gangs work. One asshole runs the crowd and the crowd runs the school. They outed him. Publically. One of them found out Chase likes boys and catfished him.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It’s where you make up a false presence on the Internet. He claimed to be another gay kid and they started an online relationship. Once Chase was sure the kid loved him, the group posted every embarrassing moment online.”
“Huh. Go after the parents. Go after them hard. Threaten to take them for every dollar they have and I bet the little shit will fall in line.”
“They don’t want to talk about it. They said it was all kid stuff and Chase should be stronger.”
“Did you threaten to sue them and take it all public so their darling baby boy can’t show his face at college? I don’t know where you’ve been but most places don’t take kindly to bullying anymore. The tide turned a while back. No one takes the side of the mean kid, and threatening to haul them all into court might give Chase some peace. He needs to stand up for himself. A lawsuit could give him that.”
“Our lawyers don’t do those types of suits. I don’t know if I could even convince Ch
ase to consider it. He thinks it’s all going to go away. Or he tells me that and then I find him barely breathing. I take him to the hospital and find out he’s been buying pills at school.”
“Nice. We can sue the school, too.” He kind of wanted to. He was sure the school had brushed off the fishing thing as nothing. To them it would be something to work out between the kids. They would likely say that working it out among themselves would prepare them for adulthood, but adults who acted like assholes got fired or shot. There were consequences for adults. “I can talk to him. I can be persuasive when I want to be. It sucks to be a kid.”
If anyone did something like that to his kid, they might not get the courtesy of a lawsuit.
“It sucks to be human sometimes.”
Maybe Flynn didn’t have it so great. “I’m sorry about punching you.”
Flynn touched his jaw gingerly. “For a lawyer, you know how to throw a hook.”
“I’ve found beating the shit out of my friends makes me feel better. In the ring, of course, and with rules. A couple of the guys I hang out with work out this way. You should try it sometime. Don’t tell your girlfriend though. They get weird about it.” It made perfect sense to him. You put on gloves and took out your aggressions and everyone was bruised and happy, but he’d learned to never mention it.
“Like I have time for a girlfriend.” Flynn sobered a little. “I’m sorry about yours, man. That was some kind of argument. You should know nothing was going on between me and Laurel. She’s a very nice lady and it’s obvious she cares about you. Why did you freak out on her like that?”
“I don’t know.”
“She’s not Margot.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? If I’d been through what you have, I don’t know that I would truly understand that Laurel’s different.”
“I know she’s not Margot.” But he’d gone to the worst place he could. It had taken him a couple of minutes, but he’d finally arrived at the most improper conclusion he could have about Laurel. He’d basically called her a tramp when she’d only been having lunch with Flynn.
And then he’d questioned her loyalty.
He pulled his phone out. No calls. She hadn’t called or texted. Not that he expected her to. She likely wouldn’t ever speak to him again unless he forced her to.
Maybe it would be better this way. He wasn’t cut out to be a father or a husband. He wasn’t ready for any of it. He definitely wasn’t ready for her. He’d hurt her and he would do it again if she stayed with him.
What the hell should he do?
How could he let her go? How could he keep her? This was everything he’d feared from the moment he’d met her. He’d known it wouldn’t—couldn’t—work. He’d known there was no way and now there was a baby involved.
Did he even deserve to be a dad? He had no idea how to be one. Would it be better to let Laurel find someone ready for the job?
“Are you going after her? I think you should. I think you should find her and apologize,” Flynn said.
“And after that?” He’d tried to live in the moment but the truth was the future was almost here. Oh, it might be a few months away, but it would catch up to him. It would get him in the end. “No. I need to figure a few things out.”
Lonely. He was going to be so fucking lonely without her.
“Like how to sue her so she comes back to you?”
Mitch frowned. When he put it like that it sounded really bad. “We do have legal things to work out.”
Despite the thoughts playing in his head, he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk away. Not from her. Not from their kid.
Flynn leaned against the car. “Let’s go and get a beer, which I will buy since I kind of damaged your car.”
“I damaged your nose.” When he thought about it they were kind of even.
“True. You can buy the second round and we can talk about less litigious ways to get your girlfriend back. I might not have a girl right now, but I’m pretty good with them.”
“I’ve ignored you for years. Why would you help me?”
Flynn sighed and put a hand on his back. “Because you don’t know this yet, but that’s what brothers do.”
He wanted to go after her. He wanted to stay away from her.
He wanted…fuck, he just wanted.
He nodded and got into the car because maybe it was past time to confront all his fears. It seemed he had nothing left to lose.
* * * *
Mitch pulled up to the driveway but couldn’t manage to hit the button on the key fob that would raise the garage door. He didn’t want to see the empty spot where her car should be. It was funny the things a man got used to. He was used to opening the garage door and seeing her piece of crap nestled in there. He’d fully intended to replace said piece of crap with a car that had all the up-to-date safety features as soon as Laurel would have the conversation with him. She’d been all independent and hadn’t budged on it.
Would it have been different if he’d been smart enough to convince her he wanted to marry her in the beginning? Would she have taken the car and his crap for a little while longer?
He turned the engine off and got out. A few hours with his brother had been somewhat illuminating. Flynn didn’t seem to have Mitch’s “the world is half full of assholes” philosophy of life. He seemed to think if Mitch got on his knees and begged for Laurel’s forgiveness, she might think about it.
He’d never gotten to his knees before. Not for any woman. Not for anything.
He needed time. He needed to think about what was best for all of them. Perhaps that meant taking a step back. He was going to write her a very polite note requesting that she keep him up to date on any and all developments with the baby and asking that she honor their contract and allow him to escort her to appointments having to do with their child. He would concentrate on the baby.
Perhaps at some time in the future he and Laurel could be friends again.
He sighed as he noticed a big truck in front of the house. He would have to talk to the neighbors because it was utterly ridiculous that they had guests park in front of his house when they had a massive circular drive.
Hell, he couldn’t even work up the will to argue anymore. He was about to put his key in the front door when it opened and Remy Guidry stood in the doorway, a frown on his face.
“You are in the doghouse. Dinner’s been ready for damn near thirty minutes and it’s cold. You should probably come up with a good excuse right damn now.” The big Cajun shook his head. “That woman makes a fine roast. If you’re stupid enough to lose her, give me a call. I’ll take her.”
Mitch stared at him as Remy walked through the doorway and toward the lawn. “What?”
The Cajun kept walking, his keys in his hand. “I’ll pick her up at eight tomorrow. The good news is now we’re out in the open and I can stay close to her. Night, Bradford.”
Laurel was here? Laurel was here.
He could hear the sounds of soft country playing through the house. He’d hated it at first, but now it seemed like the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. He locked the door behind him and set the alarm. He dropped his briefcase and walked through the living room. Slowly. Like this was a dream and he wasn’t sure he wanted to wake up.
“Laurel?”
She was standing at the sink, rinsing off one of his boring dinner plates that had no personality or color to them. She was the color in his home, in his life. She looked up. “Hello, Mitchell. Are you hungry? I made dinner.”
“Why?”
She set the plate in the dishwasher and dried her hands. “Because we eat dinner at night.”
There wasn’t a lot of expression on her face. God, she looked tired. He’d done that to her. But still, he needed to understand. He didn’t understand her at all. “Why are you here, Laurel?”
“Do you want me to leave? I can call Remy back.”
He moved around the bar, almost wanting to block her path. “No. I don’t
want that. But I thought you left me.”
“I can’t leave, Mitch. We don’t get to throw everything away. I don’t know if we can go back to what we were before, but I think being apart is a mistake. So I think we should sit down and have dinner, and later, we’ll go to bed and maybe you can make love to me because I had a shitty day.”
He stepped up and dragged her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. He took her mouth in a long, hungry, grateful kiss. She wasn’t leaving. She was here with him.
It was enough.
“Maybe dinner can wait,” he said against her lips, his hands moving to her blouse.
She sighed against him. “Definitely.”
* * * *
Deep in the night, Laurel looked down at her sleeping…what did she call him now? They still had a contract but it felt broken despite the way they’d ended the evening. They’d avoided all talk about the future like it was a land mine waiting to explode in their faces, and she wasn’t sure what to do about that.
She loved him. She simply wasn’t sure love was enough in their case.
When he kissed her, when he put his hands on her like he would die if he didn’t, it felt like love. The D/s sex they had was over-the-top insane with pleasure and she craved it, but there was no doubt she also needed those times when Mitchell lost control and had to have her without any protocol or rules between them.
That was when she felt like he adored her.
She’d thought a lot about what Remy had told her today. She’d thought about that dog she’d coaxed into the trailer finally. It had taken weeks and weeks. Will had forbidden her to get anywhere near that dog. Come to think of it, Will hadn’t been spectacularly excited when he’d realized she was interested in Mitch. It seemed like her brother recognized the destruction capability that lived in both beasts, but she’d seen something else. She’d seen a chance to give something to a creature that had obviously been broken.
The world could break a spirit, but that didn’t mean it had to stay that way.
