Lily watched as Cade rode into the yard well past midnight. He had not asked permission to leave or made any excuses for his disappearance. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and she didn't imagine it would be the last. As long as he got up the next day and did his work, she had no basis for complaint. But she wondered which woman back in town had claimed his attention.
They had been carefully avoiding each other this past month. Although there was no lock, she kept her window closed. The glass in it was rare and very expensive and she didn't think Cade would risk breaking it. And if Cade played the flute, the pane was doing a very good job of hiding the tempting music. Try as she might, she had never heard it again.
They had never returned to the Saturday night dance, either. She wasn't certain it was still held now that half the men in the territory had lit out to answer Austin's battle cry. The excitement generated by the retreat of the Mexican troops in Gonzales had been followed by a brief flurry of greater excitement when the Americans captured Goliad and the military stores there.
Since then, many of the farmers had been drifting back to see to their families, and even some of her own men had come back, complaining of bad food and poor orders. The land speculators had never really left. They were too busy selling swampland and counting their coins every time another contingent of settlers crossed the border, So perhaps there were enough people for a dance, but they might not feel like dancing.
Lily was about to return to bed when she saw the streak of light crossing the horizon. One of the men had told her about it, but she hadn't paid him much heed. Without a second thought, she was lifting the window and climbing out to better observe the phenomenon.
Cade saw her as he left the barn after wiping down his horse and settling it for the night. He remembered another night when he had seen her in ghostly white, and he almost turned back to the barn to avoid the apparition, but he, too, saw the light brightening the sky, and he stepped forward to admire it.
It was smaller now than it had been earlier in the month, but it was still a magnificent sight. Cade came to stand behind Lily as they both gazed up into the brilliantly lit heavens.
"Such a sign must signal some great change."
Lily felt the vibration of Cade's voice as much as heard it, just as she felt his physical presence more than saw it. Keeping her eyes on the spectacle in the sky, she tried not to react to the powerful pull this man exerted on her, but she might as well fight gravity. Her head came just a little above his shoulder. She knew he had only to reach out his arms and she would be within their circle. She could smell the scent of smoke on him, along with the odor of horse sweat and leather and a man scent all his own. She didn't smell perfume. She relaxed a fraction.
"Changes are not always for the better. Do the stars say whether this will be a good or bad change?" Lily asked.
"I think that depends on which side of the stars you stand. Change is always good for someone or there would not be change."
Sometimes he talked like a preacher. Since there hadn't been a man of the cloth in these parts in a coon's age, Lily was quite willing to accept Cade's interpretation of the heavens.
"Which side are you on, Cade?" she asked quietly.
Unwilling to answer the implications in that question, Cade gave the simple truth. "Mine."
His honesty appealed to her. When he stepped closer, lifted his hands to her sides, she didn't move away. With disappointment, she felt his hands drop as he stepped backward.
"They say it is called a comet and it is no more than a flying star. Some things never change." Lily wrapped her arms around herself and refused to look back at him.
"Perhaps. You shouldn't be out here dressed like that. You'll catch cold."
That wasn't all she would catch. Nodding to his wisdom, Lily walked away. Cade watched her go, feeling the knot twist tighter in his gut. She could be the pawn that would bring him what he sought. She could be the woman who would slake his lusts. She could be the woman to mother Serena. She could be many things, but most of them would make her better off without him. Could he steal her future in exchange for his own? His father had done that to his mother, but he had not known her as Cade knew Lily. It was much easier to steal a beautiful stranger than a friend.
* * *
"Look, Ma, I'm going to join the Greys!" Roy hoisted a carved gun to his shoulder, and with a gray piece of wool pulled over his head and strapped around his middle like a poncho, he sent his horse into a canter.
The New Orleans militia had marched through here earlier in the month, impressing the boy with their shining uniforms and laughter and air of adventure as they sought to join the Texas army. Even Lily had to admit to being impressed at the sight of such a finely-turned-out group of young men, and their gallantry had brightened her day. But after they were out of sight, she could only see them as cannon fodder, and she had been depressed for days.
She wasn't even certain what they were fighting for. Some idiots in town claimed it was for the Constitution of 1824, but that hadn't been worth the paper it was written on and was just as oppressive as this latest attempt to keep Texas corralled. It was much more likely that they were fighting to grab as much land as they could at the expense of the Mexican government and the poor settlers who tried to work this land in peace. Lily wished she could see it as a glorious cause, but she had met some of the principals over the years, and she wouldn't trust any of them with a catfish and a pole.
"He'll be fine with us. You can't worry about him all the time." Cade rode up behind Lily, catching her expression and partially interpreting it correctly.
"He's so young." Lily turned her head up to meet his gaze. "He's all I've got, Cade. I've got a right to worry."
"I'll take care of him as well as you take care of Serena. No man can say better than that."
"I know that." Sighing, she turned and waved Roy off as he cantered after Abraham. It was almost time to drive the cattle to New Orleans, but there weren't enough men to spare. Driving them in from the plains would take all the manpower they possessed.
Once Roy had the opportunity to ride out with the men, it was difficult to keep him inside to learn his books. All he could talk about was his pony and how Cade was teaching him to rope cattle and the best way to make the cattle move in the direction desired. Lily sighed in frustration and brushed her hair out of her face one morning when she found Roy's crudely scribbled note stating he had gone out with Cade. She had definitely not given him permission to do so.
She would have to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. Going back to her room, she dressed for riding, coming back in time to find her father and Juanita in earnest discussion while Serena sucked on a bacon strip.
At the sight of Lily, the child dropped the grubby bacon and came running, hands held out. "Mama! Play dolly."
Lily swept the little girl up in her arms and kissed her good morning, but she wouldn't allow herself to be distracted from her purpose. Serena had been calling her "mama" for weeks now. No amount of persuasion could convince her to do otherwise.
Juanita glanced anxiously at Lily's riding clothes. "You are riding out?"
"Roy took off with Cade this morning without my permission. I'm heading after him."
Juanita looked distressed, and Ephraim gave a warning cough before speaking.
"Some of those hired mercenaries they're calling volunteers kind of roughed up the town last night. Juanita's cousin was one of those injured. I kinda promised her I'd take her into town to help out."
Serena threw up her chubby hands and gurgled in delight when all eyes turned to her. The child couldn't be taken into town on such a mission. She would have to stay here.
Lily nodded her head in agreement with Juanita's silent plea. Juanita demanded very little and gave everything. And after all, her cousin was injured, possibly seriously, and Roy was quite safe—until he got home.
"I will look after Serena. Roy can miss a few hours of schoolwork. I'll just tan his hide w
hen he comes in for dinner. You'd better take in supplies, and if there's anything else we can do, send word."
Both women understood each other implicitly without saying more. It didn't take much imagination to know what a bunch of randy men out on a lark would do in a town like this one. The Tejano women would be their first target. There wasn't a medicine invented to cure those kinds of injuries.
Lily wasn't used to feeling angry, but she seemed to feel that way most of the time anymore. She knew people were basically good. She knew she couldn't condemn an entire gender for the actions of a few. But she was having greater and greater difficulty finding excuses for those actions. She had to remind herself that Cade and Abraham and those of her hired hands who had returned were good men and would never join in that kind of rampage. Perhaps it was only those men with a military bent.
That wasn't right either, but it gave her anger a better focus than condemning the entire male population. Bouncing Serena on her hip, Lily waved as her father and Juanita rode off in the wagon. So, today she would have to stay home and play housewife and cook.
She wasn't totally useless in the kitchen. Carrying Serena out with her, Lily contemplated the beginnings of the meal Juanita had already started. The men expected the noon meal to be hearty, and those new hands Cade had hired were particularly voracious. If nothing else, this war or rebellion or whatever they called it made it necessary for her old hands to accept the odd assortment of new ones. Acceptance was easier than doubling their workload.
Contemplating the combination of Tejanos, Negroes, Indians, and some mixture in between that now represented her employee list, Lily took down a large can of beans, popped the bread dough in the woodstove, and regarded a sink full of freshly plucked chickens with relief. She could manage chickens just fine.
When the men rode into the yard at noon, hooting and hollering over some incident, splashing their faces in the well as they leapt from their horses, the aromas from the kitchen were already permeating the air. Lily set the last batch of bread on the table, wiped her hands off on her apron, and determinedly set off in pursuit of her wayward son, Serena trailing behind her.
She located Cade first, and her anger centered on this man who should have known better than to let an eight-year-old ride out when he had other responsibilities.
"Where is my son? I'll not have you carrying him out of here every blamed time he gets tired of doing his schoolwork. I ought to tan both your hides for this."
Cade shoved his hair from his face and contemplated her fury with more puzzlement than anger. "Roy's not with me, Lily. I told him he had to have your permission before he could ride out."
Lily stared at him a moment longer before her face went white and she turned desperately to search the men and horses crowding the paddock and yard. Roy was nowhere to be seen.
"Where is he?"
Cade grabbed her arm before she could collapse. If Roy had meant to ride out and join them, he hadn't made it. He glanced blankly at the miles of open plain beyond the yard and his insides cracked. It would be like searching for an ant on a mountain.
Chapter 11
"I know a few places where he might be. Let me check them first." Cade tried to sound reassuring, but Lily's pale face ate at his innards. He knew as well as she that the boy would have come looking for him.
Lily tore off her apron and threw it over the fence. "I know some places to look, too. The men will have to feed themselves."
At least Roy's pony hadn't come riding back. That had to be a good sign. As the men around them began to grasp that there was something wrong, Lily saddled a fresh horse.
Giving quiet orders to the men, Cade let her go until he caught sight of her mounting the horse and leaving without a word to anyone. Catching her reins, he forced her to halt.
"You're to be back here in an hour to report to me just like the others. I'll be damned if I'll spend the day looking for both of you."
Lily nodded, and when he let go of the reins, urged her horse into a gallop.
Cade shook his head at her heedless pace, then gained his horse and rode out after her. Some of the other men were already saddling fresh horses. He hadn't ordered a full-fledged search yet. The time for that would come when all the obvious places had been checked.
An hour later everyone rode back into the yard with no report of any sign of a little boy and his pony.
Lily’s expression was wooden as she and Cade divided the ranch into sections. They sent each man in a different direction, leaving one of the hands at the ranch to care for Serena and to set up a message center. Everyone carried a firearm to give a signal if Roy was found. Times were set for reporting in. One man was sent to town in case Roy had decided to wander there. It was all well planned and carefully thought out, but everyone present knew the vastness of the territory to be searched and the impossibility of covering every inch of it.
Cade circled the ranch, looking for some sign of a single horse and a small rider. It hadn't rained in weeks and tracks were few, but he found some cropped grass and drying dung heading in a different direction than his men had taken that morning, and he set off that way. It looked as if the boy had chosen the same path the men had taken the day he had ridden with them. His hopes rising, Cade eased his mount down the path, keeping a sharp lookout for any differences in the landscape.
His keen eyesight had found Jim's body in the midst of a vast plain when no one else's had, but it couldn't help him find a small boy and his horse when they weren't there to be seen. By sunset, Cade had lost all sign of Roy's passage. He couldn't bear to return to the ranch and report to Lily, but he had to turn around. There was some chance that the boy had already been found and he just hadn't heard the signal.
It was dark by the time he rode in. He had only to see Juanita weeping in the kitchen doorway to know the news wasn't good. The men were idling around the paddock. Ephraim Porter stood on the back steps with his hands in his pockets, staring blankly at the horizon. Lily was nowhere to be seen.
Dismounting, Cade was about to make inquiries when he saw her riding in. Her shoulders were slumped with fatigue, and he didn't need to see her face to know the anguish that would be written on it. He caught her reins and lifted her down, and she collapsed briefly against him—all the evidence he needed to know that she was beyond exhaustion. Her soft curves molded against him without any recognition of where she was or why.
"Go get something to eat. I'll question the men and get back to you."
It was much simpler to follow Cade's orders than to consider the alternatives. The arms holding her were corded with muscles and exuded a strength she had never possessed. Nodding wearily, Lily drew away and turned toward the house.
When Cade entered a while later, he found her sitting stiffly in the rocking chair, a sleepy Serena on her lap cuddling her doll. Lily's eyes were blank and full of pain as they met his, and Cade seemed to feel her anguish spilling into him. He was an outsider, a man who never got close to anyone, but somehow this woman had got inside of him. He didn't like the feeling, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.
"Jack's inquiring at the neighboring ranches. I'm going back out to take another look. I think I know the direction he took. It might be easier to hear him at night."
"I'll go with you." Lily moved to set the sleepy child down, but Cade crossed the room and caught her shoulder, pinning her to the chair.
"No. The men have to get some rest if they're to go back out tomorrow. You need to be here in case Jack comes back with some word." He didn't state the usual nonsense about her getting some rest. If the child wasn't found, Cade was quite certain she would never rest again. There was that much pain in her eyes. She had already lost her husband. The fates couldn't be so unkind as to take her only child.
Cade squeezed her shoulder and Lily stayed where she was. "I'll put Serena to bed in here tonight so you won't wake her when you come back," was her only reply to his gesture.
Ephraim stepped out of the shadow
s, for once without a whiskey bottle in his hands. "If you tell me what to do, I'll go with you. You've been out long enough as it is."
Cade looked at the older man and tried not to see himself in the bloodshot eyes and shaking hands. He hungered for a drink right now. He had planned on taking a bottle with him. The caricature of a man standing before him put an end to that intention. The liquor would fortify him through the night chill, expunge the pain that seeped from Lily to him, but it wouldn't find Roy.
He shook his head at Ephraim. "The way is treacherous in day. Lily needs you here."
He turned and walked out, leaving father and daughter to deal with one another.
"He called you Lily." Ephraim said accusingly.
"I call him Cade." Lily rose, carrying the child, and headed for the dogtrot that led to her bedroom.
There wasn't any point in arguing. As Lily walked out, Ephraim went in search of a bottle.
* * *
It was late when Cade rode into his father's camp. He'd had longer days, but emotion had a way of draining every ounce of strength until there was nothing left. Somewhere out there was a terrified little boy, lost, possibly injured, and he couldn't find him. Cade wanted to rage at the world. Instead, he sought his father.
The older man looked at him with sadness when Cade stated his request. "Had you stayed with us, you would know our ways for yourself."
"You have taught me much, Father, and I am grateful, but even the greatest warriors would have difficulty tracking a little boy without knowing his direction."
"The buzzards began to gather at sunset. You should have watched for them," he admonished.
Cade closed his eyes and let that information sink in like an arrow to his heart. He had not looked for the buzzards because he refused to consider that possibility. Emotion was blinding him. He was going to have to find some way of putting Lily and her son in the proper perspective.
Texas Lily Page 9
