Mistletoe Mishap

by Siri Caldwell

  “What kind of ideas?”

  “Ideas about what people do underneath that stupid vine you’re dangling over my head.”

  “Me?” Kendra rose higher on her toes, ankles wobbling to keep her balance. It would be embarrassing to fall. “I’m calculating the angle you need. I’m thinking if our bodies form two sides of a triangle that meet at our hands, and both sides are the same distance, how small does the angle have to be for you to—”

  “This small,” Viv said, pressing the entire length of her body to Kendra’s, slotting their breasts side by side so her mouth was directly by Kendra’s ear. Finally. “A zero-degree angle.”

  “There you are.” Kendra wrapped her free arm around Viv’s waist, trapping her. She could feel the rise and fall of Viv’s chest where it pressed against her own, and something inside her relaxed on a level that only Viv could access.

  Viv’s lips brushed against her ear. “You think I fell into your trap, don’t you.”

  Kendra shivered. “Yeah.”

  Viv was still reaching overhead with one arm, not giving up on the mistletoe, which meant her silky sweater and the camisole underneath it were riding up, and Kendra found bare skin without even having to work for it.

  Viv faltered, making a sound that was more than a little turned on. She clung one-handedly to Kendra’s shoulder, either for balance or for leverage to reach higher.

  Kendra nearly relaxed her arm.

  And why shouldn’t she? Why shouldn’t she drop the mistletoe? She’d already gotten what she wanted.

  It would mean Viv would win, though.

  But it was hard to care.

  Kendra gave up the fight, dropping to her heels as Viv claimed the mistletoe and kissed her cheek. Kendra used both hands to hold Viv’s waist, pulling their hips flush. She could feel Viv’s smile against her skin.

  “I thought you said you didn’t want me getting any ideas,” Kendra said.

  The mistletoe tumbled from Viv’s fingers to the floor as she cupped the nape of Kendra’s neck, cradling her, and licked under her jaw.

  Kendra groaned, louder than was probably wise, the force of her body’s reaction taking her by surprise. She angled her head to give Viv better access.

  This.

  This was what she missed.

  Viv mouthed at a spot underneath her jaw, lingered on Kendra’s bare throat, and kissed her way down her neck.

  Kendra’s knees weakened. “Viv, oh my God, I would’ve given you the mistletoe if I’d known you were going to—”

  “Professor?” A man’s voice came from outside the door. “You still working?”

  Viv went rigid in her arms, her grip suddenly too tight.

  Shit. Didn’t people know they were supposed to go home at night and not live in the lab?

  Slowly, silently, Viv unclenched her fingers and released her.

  “Who is that?” Kendra whispered across the tiny bit of space that now separated them. If he was one of her students, Viv might recognize his voice.

  “Security,” Viv whispered back. Then she called to the guard, raising her voice. “Yes. Of course. Late night.”

  Viv made no move toward the door. That meant she and this guy weren’t in the habit of making conversation, right? Otherwise she’d go open the door and talk to him. Or he’d open it himself to check on her. The stupid door which stupidly did not lock from the inside.

  Kendra felt a sudden urge to giggle and clamped her hand over her mouth.

  “Don’t forget to go home,” the guard said.

  “I won’t,” Viv replied. “Have a good night.”

  At the sound of his retreating footsteps, Kendra let her laughter escape in quiet gasps that she muffled against Viv’s shoulder.

  “That wasn’t funny,” Viv said, petting Kendra’s hair with the familiar soothing rhythm that helped calm Kendra down at night when she couldn’t sleep, but sometimes turned her on instead.

  Like now, for example.

  “He wouldn’t have seen anything embarrassing,” Kendra said, nuzzling into Viv’s hand to encourage the petting action. “We have clothes on.”

  “Thank God for small favors.”

  “I don’t know that I’d call it a favor…”

  Viv shook her head in bemusement. “You know what I look like. You see me without clothes all the time.”

  “Never gets old, though.” Kendra looked her up and down with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle.

  Viv rolled her eyes. Every time Viv got that look on her face, like she couldn’t decide whether she was exasperated by Kendra or charmed, Kendra fell even more in love with her.

  She smoothed her thumb across Viv’s cheekbones and traced her lips. The need to kiss her was overwhelming. “Want to try this again?”

  Viv gave her a considering look, then sighed and gestured to the industrial-size wall clock hanging above her door. “Look at the time.”

  “What, you’re tired?”

  Viv shook her head. “Midnight. Day two is over, and we both lost. Again.”

  “One minute past midnight,” Kendra corrected, unwilling to believe Viv was serious. “Now it’s day three. We can do this. We can do anything we want.”

  “I think I can guess what you want.”

  “Yup. And this time, I’m going to win.”

  Chapter 5

  ———

  Day 5

  ———

  KENDRA 0 : VIV 0

  Day three had not begun with Viv bent over her desk. Instead, too rattled by the security guard’s visit, they’d gone home and fallen asleep. Day four was also a bust. Seriously, those bird days were cursed. The partridge, the doves, the hens, the mockingbirds…‌no…‌calling birds? Never heard of a calling bird. Or a French hen, for that matter. Or even a partridge. Come on, people, this was America. The fruited plains and purple mountain majesties weren’t soaring with highfalutin birds that sang with a French accent.

  But now those bird days were over, and things were going to turn around. Five golden rings…‌that sounded promising. And then six…

  …geese.

  Damn it. Couldn’t get away from those birds. Six geese, seven swans…‌it was like the birds were getting bigger and bigger and meaner and meaner, and who gave their true love a goose, anyway? Those things were vicious.

  The college’s wide green lawns attracted huge mobs of Canada geese in winter, and also in summer, because the birdbrains had discovered it was easier to camp out down south all year long than to bother with the whole migration thing. Left more time and energy for more important activities like pooping and hissing at absentminded faculty who dared get too close.

  So…‌rings. The only thing in the whole nonsensical song that was in any way related to romance.

  Not really, though. Viv said rings were shiny petri dishes, and she couldn’t wear one in the lab anyway because it would snag on the gloves she wore to protect her from the viruses she worked with. Kendra didn’t wear one either, because wedding rings reminded her too much of straight people. A friend who taught gender studies had once complimented the two of them on resisting the symbols of the patriarchy, but it wasn’t about that. Not unless simply being themselves and defining their relationship by their own rules was an act of political resistance. Which maybe it was? Gah. There was a reason she’d never studied the humanities beyond the required minimum.

  So…‌not rings. They’d have to come up with something that wasn’t a hazard in the lab and didn’t force Kendra to confront her political beliefs, and then they’d have to get serious about this competition because the song was about day five, not night five, and here it was time for bed already. They’d blown most of the day working, driving in to pick up their students’ exams and spending the rest of the day catching up on paperwork. Which did need to get done, but come on. If she wanted to win‌—‌if she wanted either one of them to win‌—‌they might have to reconsider their priorities.

  Kendra undressed while Viv read in bed, waiting for her. Viv w
as wearing her reading glasses and her white flannel pajamas with the red candy canes buttoned all the way to her neck, looking all intellectual and untouchable. Kendra watched her out of the corner of her eye, but Viv never looked up.

  Of course she didn’t. Kendra couldn’t remember the last time Viv had watched her undress. If she ever had. She didn’t know if Viv ignored her because she was being polite and proper and trying to give her privacy or because she wasn’t that interested in looking at her body. And wasn’t that mildly depressing. Even though she knew Viv wasn’t critical. And even though Kendra considered herself to be the kind of person who looked better in clothes than out of them. To be honest, most people looked better in clothes than out of them.

  She liked watching Viv, though.

  She didn’t understand why Viv didn’t like to watch her.

  The times Viv undressed in front of Kendra and caught Kendra watching, she seemed amused. Occasionally she’d even flaunt it a little, in an extremely subtle, not shy but barely detectable, Viv-like way. But then she’d hop into the shower or change into whatever clothes she was changing into and that was the end of it, no kiss or anything, and Kendra would tell herself it was enough.

  She hadn’t understood, when she was younger, that she could be so stupidly in love with someone that she could be irritated with her and want her at the same time.

  “I think we need to come up with new words to this song,” Kendra said.

  Viv glanced up from her book. “Six geese a-laying aren’t doing it for you?”

  “Oh, now we’re skipping days? Again? We’re on five golden rings, babe. No cheating us out of a day.”

  “I was under the impression that a single day was negligible to a geologist, seeing as how a million years is a margin of error.”

  This was what she got for falling for a smart chick. She should have known Viv wasn’t going to forget that comment.

  “Nice try, but I know what day it is.” Kendra crawled onto the bed naked. “I’m pretty sure you do, too.”

  Viv turned the page of her book and ignored her.

  “I can see your lips twitching,” Kendra said. “I know you’re trying hard not to laugh at how hilarious you are, pretending you don’t see me.”

  “I’m not pretending.”

  “Yes you are.”

  “Am not.”

  “Are too. You can’t resist me.” Kendra stalked closer. “You’re my true love and I’m your true love, and on the fifth day of Christmas we’re going to prove our love with five ring alternatives, and they are…”

  Viv let her reading glasses slide down the bridge of her nose and leveled a forbidding gaze at her from over top of the rims. “Six cheesy come-ons.”

  “I knew you were paying attention.” Kendra stayed on her hands and knees, waiting for Viv to give some sign that she’d noticed what Kendra was not wearing. “But don’t think you’re scamming anyone into skipping day five.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “So on day five you’re giving me…?”

  “You know I believe in good sportsmanship, and good sportsmanship means taking turns. It wouldn’t be fair for me to suggest lyrics for day five when I just did day six. It’s your turn.”

  “Fine.” Kendra thought about the tune. Days six through twelve were all the same unfinished pattern, like a record skipping and repeating itself until you screamed at your brother to move that needle now, goddammit, or I’ll tell Mom where you were last Saturday when she thought you were at soccer practice. Day five was the big line where you got to belt out the words and prove you had the singing voice of a star. She had to come up with something good.

  Got it. She sat on her heels and took a breath and sang. “Six cheesy come-ons.” Another breath. “Miiiind-blowing sex.”

  “Ooooh.” Viv sounded impressed.

  In an I’m‌-‌just‌-‌humoring‌-‌you, was‌-‌I‌-‌supposed‌-‌to‌-‌be‌-‌turned‌-‌on, oh‌-‌I‌-‌think‌-‌I‌-‌was kind of way.

  Because she was a little shit.

  Who was going to be jumping out of those candy cane pajamas in the very near future and losing day five. And liking it.

  “Your turn,” Kendra said.

  Viv sang quietly, a little off-key like she always was on the rare occasions she forgot to be self-conscious about her voice. “Four enticing smiles.”

  Kendra loved hearing her relax enough to sing. She knew better than to call attention to it, though, or Viv would clam up.

  “Smiles? That’s all you’ve got?”

  Viv tilted her book down so it lay flat on her lap. “What? Smiles are sexy.”

  “Jesus Christ. Smiles are the least sexual thing that could possibly, under the right circumstances, be construed as sexual.”

  “Probably shouldn’t be taking the Lord’s name in vain while singing about His holy birth.”

  “Like you ever set foot inside a church.”

  “My parents dragged me to church a lot more often than yours did.”

  “I went. I sang in the choir.”

  “And learned so much. I’m the one who knew what day Epiphany is.”

  Kendra dropped to the comforter and rolled to her side. She groaned. “This again?”

  “Can’t wait to hear what shockingly sexual thing you’re going to make me sing for day three.”

  Kendra smirked. “Three kiss…es.”

  “Two unbuttoned shirts,” Viv sang primly, flipping another page in her book like a jerk. She clearly had not been reading, so there was no way she needed to turn the page.

  “You know how it turns me on when you look all intellectual.”

  “Is that one of our six cheesy come-ons for today?”

  Today? Seriously? “For tomorrow,” Kendra corrected. Viv did look hot, though. “Is it working?”

  “No.” Viv continued to stare at her book as one hand moved to her neckline and played with the top button of her pajama top. Acting like she was doing it absentmindedly, she slipped the button free. Like she had no idea what her hand was doing. Like she wasn’t paying attention to anything but the words on the page.

  While Kendra was naked.

  “I think we need to change the rules,” Viv said.

  “Do we, now. Why?” Kendra pushed herself up from the mattress and leaned on her elbows, still on top of the comforter even though Viv was under it, warming the sheets. “Because I’m winning?”

  “You’re not winning. You have zero points. I have zero points. It’s a tie.”

  “Not for long.”

  Viv removed her reading glasses and set them on her bedside table with a familiar clink. “Why? Because in a little while, you’ll have one point and I’ll have one point? It will remain a tie.”

  “I’ll make you come first. Then I’ll be ahead,” Kendra said, because no way was she going to concede that Viv might have identified a flaw in their plan. Another flaw.

  “And then it will be my turn, and it will again be a tie.” Viv moved her pillows, getting ready to settle under the covers, her book sliding off her lap. “It’s unwinnable. The way it’s set up, at midnight it will always be a tie.”

  “Not if I run out the clock.”

  Viv paused. Carefully, she repositioned her pillows, wedging them behind her back as she scooted up to sit, punching them into shape like it was their fault she’d changed her mind about lying down.

  Wait. Had she really been planning to sleep? Right now?

  The book went back onto Viv’s lap. She opened it without looking. “What are you saying, you planned out a strategy? You’re going to watch the minutes count down until midnight while you’re…you know?”

  “While I’m…what?” Kendra teased.

  “You know.”

  “Making you lose?”

  “Yes,” Viv ground out.

  “I can’t tell if you’re more upset about the idea of me pulling ahead in the scores or about me paying attention to the time and not giving you my undivided attention.”
/>
  “Hmm.” Viv undid another button on her pajamas.

  “Is this…‌revenge flirting?” Kendra asked.

  “We need to change the rules,” Viv insisted.

  “To what?”

  Viv dipped her chin and gazed up at her from beneath her lashes as she undid one more button. “I don’t know yet.”

  Kendra eyed the thermostat, but couldn’t read it from this distance. Was it set right? Because the bedroom didn’t need to be this warm.

  “Or,” Kendra suggested, “we could leave the rules exactly as they are.” She watched Viv fondle the buttonhole she’d freed one-handedly, her other hand resting on her book. “And I could make it so good that you conk out and fall asleep right after.”

  “You’re the one who falls asleep right after,” Viv countered.

  “So there you go. Your chance to win.”

  “Hmm. I suppose.”

  “Not that you’re going to win.”

  “Is that right.” Viv took a breath, subtly expanding her ribcage and causing the two sides of her pajama top to fall slightly open.

  Well yeah, they both knew Viv could turn Kendra into a shuddering mess. Viv could win, easy.

  But Kendra wasn’t about to admit it.

  Viv smiled like she knew exactly what Kendra was thinking. “My four enticing smiles turning you on?”

  “Uh…” Yes. God, yes.

  Viv dragged her gaze down Kendra’s body with an intensity that made Kendra shiver. Like now that Viv had finally allowed herself to look, she wasn’t going to hold back. Or maybe she just really wanted to win.

  “You never did tell me what I’m getting instead of a partridge in a pear tree,” Viv said. “After the four enticing smiles and the three kisses and the two—”

  “Is there a reason you started with day four instead of day five?”

  “What’s day five again?”

  “You know perfectly well what it is.” Mind-blowing might be exaggerating, but… No, actually, mind-blowing was doable.

  “Because there’s no incentive to try to win if I don’t like the prizes.”

  “That won’t be an issue, since you’ll be losing anyway. You’ll be coming and coming and coming and losing it so bad that you won’t even care that you’re losing the compet—”