by Gabriela Paz
“I don’t know how I got so lucky. You are so hot!”
Wait? What? “Daniel! Keep it down,” she blushed.
“What? I don’t care if anyone hears me. I would scream it to the whole world if I had to.”
She laughed. “No, you wouldn’t.”
“Want to bet?” he defied her as he got ready to shout.
“Stop! Please don’t. I believe you.”
He grinned. “Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
He then got close to her and grabbed her waist. “Are you sure you don’t want to go in the water already?”
“I was going to tan. I sure need it.”
“No, you don’t,” he said, leaning in. “You are perfect the way you are,” he kissed her delicately. She then looked at his charming blue eyes, wondering what did I do to deserve him? “Okay, then, come on. Let’s go in before I regret it!” she exclaimed, already sprinting towards the water.
Eva was dying to tell Cece about the way Daniel made her feel. She had told her about their first kiss and their current relationship status, but she hadn’t exactly gone in-depth about her feelings. She was scared. The way Cece talked about boys and her experiences was much different from what she was feeling now.
She was actually invested in this relationship, and it was consuming every inch of her emotions. Every day that passed and her feelings grew stronger the more time she wanted to spend with Daniel. Unfortunately, that also led to almost no time for her best friend. Although she tried to call Cece a few times a week to stay in touch, she felt guilty about not spending the weekends with her or having her sleep over anymore.
When Eva started to miss Daniel during her school hours, she knew for sure she had fallen for him. She had never longed for anyone this way. The first time he told her he loved her, it was surreal. They were both lying together in Eva’s bed holding hands (right after making out for several minutes, of course), when Eva asked him, “Is everything ok?” He had suddenly gotten quiet and thoughtful out of nowhere.
“Yes, of course, babe. I’m just enjoying your company.”
“Okay,” Eva muttered as she kept staring at the ceiling.
“I gotta go to the bathroom. I will be right back,” he said.
As he abruptly got up from the bed, Eva kept thinking to herself, Am I doing something wrong? Maybe he needs more than little kisses. Maybe he thinks that I’m weird. What should I do? But before she could finish her train of thought, her phone buzzed. She had gotten a text from Daniel. Wasn’t he in the bathroom? Her heart stopped. A text? This couldn’t be anything good.
As she froze with her phone in her hand, scared to read the text, Daniel stood by the bathroom door looking at her. Is he trying to tell me something with his eyes? She couldn’t tell. So, she rushed to read the message. I love you. The text read. She glanced at Daniel and again at the message, trying to wrap her head around the fact that he had actually written those words.
When Daniel smiled at her and ran over to give her a hug, she knew for sure that it was real. “I love you too,” Eva whispered in his ear as they hugged. She had wanted to say those words for a long time, but she refused to say them first. She then pulled back to be able to look at him, “I’ve wanted to tell you for some time now, but I was scared. But I love you. I’m not scared to say it now,” Eva reassured him. She was able to open up to him in a way she never believed was possible.
“I’m really happy you feel that way. I want to be with you all the time, and to be honest, I was never sure of how you felt until now.”
“Really?” Good.
“Yeah, really. It’s hard to read you sometimes.”
She had intentionally been acting cool and collected this whole time, and she didn’t realize how good she was at it. It was no use anymore, however. The moment she read that text, her walls had become dust, and she no longer felt the need to hide her feelings.
“Well, I wasn’t about to make it easy for you. But now you know what’s on my mind, and you are literally all I can think about.”
“It’s definitely good to know,” Daniel whispered as he leaned in to kiss her.
After finally opening her heart, Eva decided to take the next step in her relationship. The most important step. Having sex was no joke to her. In fact, it was so significant to her that she had contemplated waiting for marriage. Her mother had. She wasn’t sure how, but she had. Eva wasn’t certain she could wait any longer, though.
This was about love, pure love, and nothing else. She had found her person, her one and only. So why would she wait? It had been four months since she found the love of her life, and waiting another four or six months wasn’t exactly going to make a difference. Was it? So she gave in.
It was scary, romantic, it was sexy, and she wanted to repeat it. Being her first time, she had no idea what to expect or what to do, but Daniel was gentle and affectionate, making sure she felt at ease. She hoped he didn’t notice how fast her heart was beating or how much she was sweating. Will I be good enough for him? Will he love me less after it’s done? She repeated to herself, over and over.
She never expected the day to come, and for some reason, she felt undeserving of receiving so much love. But as he kissed every inch of her body, her fears started to fade away, and passion consumed her every move. She didn’t think she was capable of feeling this overwhelming burst of emotion, but there she was, giving herself to the boy she loved. She trusted him with all of her heart, believing every single second that it was forever.
The relationship was taking a lot from her. It was intense, it was draining, and it was passionate. She knew she had abandoned her best friend and her mother because of how much he consumed her. But she couldn’t help it. Every minute she had free, she spent with the boy she loved, and everyone else needed to understand that this was her moment. Daniel had become her world, and she wasn’t scared about being hurt anymore; maybe she should have been.
Eva and Daniel dated for roughly over a year before Eva found out the worst.
CHAPTER 3
Not Everything is as it Seems
On a regular weekday morning before leaving for school, Eva received a note that had been slipped under the door of her house. The note read, He doesn’t love you. He is a big liar. Open your eyes.
At first, it seemed like a prank. She wasn’t even sure that the note was meant for her. But she had to find out, just in case. So, she casually asked her mom that night if she was seeing anyone. Her mother had dated a bit the year before, but she gave it up shortly after meeting some weird characters. She seemed surprised that Eva was asking her about her love life. At least she seemed honest when she answered, “Honey, I haven’t dated anyone since Bob.”
“Of course, you haven’t. You must be traumatized,” Eva laughed. Crazy Bob was one of those characters who made her mother want to quit dating. She had a great first date with him, and after that, he kept showing up at the house with flowers.
At first, it was flattering, but the persistence and the amount seemed odd. Her mother received all kinds of flowers from him -- you name it, daisies, roses, violets, sunflowers…day after day. Pretty weird. But when she told him to stop, he didn’t take it well. He seemed to be absolutely offended and left the house, throwing the kind of tantrum that only a little boy would make. That was the last time they saw him, thankfully.
Whether it was in a ponytail, a bun, or left down, her mother’s hair always looked on point. She made sure of it. Her hazel eyes were strangely luminous, and her facial features placidly delicate. She was eye-catching, to say the least.
Eva was used to her mother being her rock, the one who she could always lean on to. The way she carried herself and spoke, so confident and poised, always made Eva feel proud and safe—and the way she searched for happiness in all things was admirable. Even when things didn’t look bright, she would always make up some m
agical reason as to why their life was blessed, which made Eva feel bad for her lack of positivity. Her father leaving was the only time she had truly seen her mom suffer without covering her emotions, and it had been painful for Eva to watch.
“I know, I know, but it’s been a while since then, and I still don’t feel like dating.”
“Don’t worry, mom, give it time. I’m sure you will meet someone great soon enough.”
“Oh, won’t you look at that confidence, of course, since you are all happy and cozy with your new boyfriend, you think is that easy, huh?”
“Not easy. But at least possible, I guess?” said Eva quickly, even though she couldn’t really focus on the conversation, her mind was stuck on that stupid note. If her mom wasn’t dating anyone, then the note must have been for her after all. She still wasn’t convinced. Daniel would never do anything to hurt her. She trusted him. If the note was meant for her, then it must have been some jealous girl who wanted to ruin their relationship.
For the first time in a while, she started to feel doubt. What if he’s seeing someone else? What if he’s been lying to me about his feelings for me? What if I’m not enough? The doubt was enough to make her question her relationship, to make her feel like she wanted to pull her hair out of her scalp.
But how would he even have time? We are always together. Should I just tell him? But if it’s just a prank or a mistake, then I will look crazy! This could be about anything. But, what if he is cheating? Her mind went to a million different places while the thought crossed her mind. It’s not like he will tell me the truth if he is, so there’s no point in telling him anything. I’m going to have to be smarter than that.
A few days passed, and everything seemed normal. Daniel was acting the same, and nothing seemed to indicate that the note was true. But Eva was still thinking about the note all the time, so much that she finally decided it was time to do something to get rid of the exasperating doubt. The next morning, she skipped her last period of school so she could pass by his school and see if there was anything she needed to worry about.
God I’ve lost my mind. She knew it was silly, but she couldn’t think of anything else. She didn’t know any of his friends from school, and she couldn’t really ask anyone. At this point, the doubt was worse than anything else, or so she thought. If he’s doing anything, it’s gotta be during school hours.
She took an Uber to Daniel’s school. The school was enormous, with a huge grand entrance that made Eva feel inferior somehow. She could tell that it was worth a lot of money to study there and that it was nothing like her school.
A few cars already waited patiently by the pick-up driveway. There were loads of students walking out the main doors, so she figured it was best to hide behind the tall bushes by the side of the pillars in case Daniel walked out. She didn’t want to risk being caught for anything in the world.
She suddenly felt silly for being there. What was I thinking? This isn’t my world, and I have no business snooping around. What are the odds I will catch him cheating here? I should have just talked to him about this.
The more cars started to arrive, the more her forehead and hands started to sweat. There was no getting out of it now, and at the risk of being caught, she preferred to stay hidden for as long as it took. She made an effort looking through the plants to try to spot him, but there were too many people. What if she had missed him already? She was almost sure she hadn’t.
As everything started to calm down and students got in their respective pick-ups, Eva started to wonder whether her detective efforts had been a complete failure. After thirty minutes of hiding hopelessly, she was ready to give up. Maybe he didn’t come to school today? He would have let me know, though, so he’s got to be here.
She finally decided to sneak her way out of the bushes and headed towards the main door. There were only a few students left, a few looking impatient, as they waited for their rides and a couple hooking up on a far bench. Eva didn’t have much of an option but to approach a punk-looking girl that stood closest to her. “Hey. I don’t mean to bother you, I just wanted to know if maybe you know Daniel Collins?”
“Um yeah, I know who he is. Why?” The girl said, slipping her hands into her black pant’s pocket, which hugged her hips tightly.
“Have you seen him around today? I can’t find him.”
“Nobody can keep track of that boy,” she said, rolling her dark, underlined eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s a little bit all over the place, if you know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t know what you mean. Can you tell me?”
The girl raised an eyebrow and gave her a confused look, “I’m sorry, I should go.”
Eva grabbed the girl’s arm abruptly and stopped her from leaving, “Please tell me what you mean! And, where is he?”
“Hey!” the girl blurted. “I don’t know you! Who even are you? I have never seen you around here.”
“I know you don’t, but I’m desperate,” Eva looked straight at her, hoping to get some compassion from her.
“Are you one of his girlfriends or something?”
What? “No, I’m his only girlfriend as far as I’m aware.”
“Oh…” she paused, looking at Eva with pity. “I think I saw him in math class, but I think he left school early today.”
Eva was tired of the chase; she had to know already. Her heart was beating so fast, “Why would he leave early? Where would he go at this time?”
“Not sure,” the girl said hesitantly. “But he usually does this type of thing. Not sure where he goes or who he goes with as he juggles his options quite well, not that it is any of my business.”
“What? With other girls, you mean?” There it was, the answer Eva had been looking for but didn’t want to hear. It wasn’t only one girl? It still didn’t make any sense to her. “Are you sure this is the same Daniel Collins we are talking about?” she asked.
“Babe, there is only one Daniel Collins in this school. I really gotta go now,” she said as she walked away quickly.
Eva was shocked and suddenly started to feel lightheaded. She couldn’t bear this. It was too much, and there had to be some kind of mistake. There was no way that he would be playing her this way. What the hell am I supposed to do with this information now? She suddenly felt a huge knot in her throat as she looked everywhere, uncertain of what to do next.
Should I call him? The thought crossed her mind, but what would I say? I haven’t seen anything yet. There’s no proof. That girl could be making everything up for all I know. I mean… she has to be lying.
She couldn’t go home. She needed to know where he had gone and confront him. But where would she even start looking? As her mind juggled with different ideas, she got a sudden urge to go to the place where they had met. The cove. Though it was a long shot, it was the only solid option she had.
As the Uber dropped her by the boardwalk, Eva’s heart started pounding profusely. This is what she wanted, to learn the truth. But it almost felt like self-torture to make herself go through it. By the way things were looking, whatever she found out wasn’t exactly going to please her in any way.
Every step she made felt heavy and traumatic. And as she finally allowed herself to raise her gaze towards the long bricked boardwalk, she saw him. There, kissing another girl by a far bench as if the world, including her, didn’t exist.
She was shocked. Unable to fully feel her legs, she stumbled on her way back to the main street as she called for another ride. She gasped for air, but it felt like she was drowning. Sinking in deception. He played me. I can’t believe it. What an idiot I’ve been, giving him the benefit of the doubt all this time. I have just been another girl he fooled around with. How could he do this to me? Why? Why did I deserve this? Was I a joke to him? Eva’s questions kept dropping like a snow avalanche, as well as her tears.
/> She couldn’t quite process what she had learned yet. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was done with him forever and that she was done believing in good things. What is the point? What was the point of this stupid relationship? Why did I have to experience this? I wish I never met him, she thought, as she rode back home in an Uber. What she had been most scared of had happened, and it had happened in the worst way possible. She’d opened up to him like she had never done before. Nobody in the world could make her feel like he did, and she hated that.
Daniel didn’t have much of a chance to defend himself when he showed up at her house later that day unannounced since Eva hadn’t been answering his texts or calls. “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been calling you. I missed you,” he said once she opened the door.
“You are kidding, right? How can you even look at me in the eyes right now and say that you missed me when I saw you hooking up with some other girl!” Eva said, agitated as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.
“What? No, no, that’s not true. What are you talking about, babe?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I saw you, Daniel. You were on a bench by the boardwalk near the beach.”
He looked perplexed. “Babe, It’s not true. That wasn’t me.”
“You are kidding, right? I should have interrupted your sweet moment and caught you in the act, but I didn’t even think it was worth it.” She wanted to shut the door on his face badly but didn’t. For her own sake, she needed to hear what he had to say. Why? Why?
“Eva, I’m sorry. Okay,” he stuttered. “I made a mistake. But it meant nothing, I swear. It was just one kiss! It won’t happen again, I promise,” he said, trying to reach for her hand.
“How can you even say that? How can you look at me in the eyes and keep lying to me? Haven’t you hurt me enough already?” she answered, pulling away abruptly. She was enraged.
