by Quinn Loftis
I could feel his eyes on me, almost daring me to address the elephant in the room. I wanted him to explain himself, to reassure me. But then, maybe he hadn’t said anything because he couldn’t reassure me that there was nothing between him and the river woman. Maybe the conclusion I’d tried so hard not to jump to was, in fact, the correct conclusion to draw. I couldn’t stand another second of wondering.
“It would make sense, you know,” I said, even as the cheese I had just eaten was threatening to reappear. “She’s a strong warrior. The women already know and respect her. She would make a good match, both politically and for the unity of the clan.”
Why was I talking? Everything I thought I was going to say seemed to have left my mind, and suddenly I was trying to talk Torben into accepting the woman’s marriage offer. Where was Dayna when I needed her to hit me with a branding iron?
Torben said nothing. Finally, I looked up at him. His jaw was clenched so tightly I was a little worried he would break some of his teeth. Before he could agree or disagree with my words, I hurried on.
“I won’t be mad. As a leader, I completely understand that you have to make tough choices for the good of our people.” You can shut up any time now, Allete, I told myself as I took a quick breath. “I won’t make a scene or embarrass you. You could just put me on a ship and send me back to my parents. They would…” My words trailed off because the color of Torben’s face was becoming a bit worrisome.
“Are you quite done?” he asked.
I nodded, silent. Oh, now you have nothing to say? A moment ago, you couldn’t keep from basically marrying him off and hightailing it back to England, but suddenly you’re at a loss for words. I mentally kicked myself several times and dropped my eyes to the table. Keep it together, Allete, I commanded myself. You are the first-born princess of England for gods’ sake. Just keep your mouth shut, nod, and then leave. No fits of ridiculousness or tears of betrayal. Just let him say his piece; then it will be over, and you can crawl into a hole and cry for a year.
“So, after everything you’ve been through, you would just sail away without so much as a slap to my face if I told you I wanted to marry another? After I professed my love for you? After I killed for you? After you were prophesized to be my wife? You would just let me go?”
What did he want from me? Did he want me to act like an undignified, irrational child and throw a tantrum?
“You would just give me up?” His voice grew louder, and I tried not to wince. “Just pass me off to another female without a fight?” He chuckled, but it wasn’t humorous. “That’s not the Allete I know.”
Dignity be damned. My eyes snapped up to his, and I practically growled. Dayna would have been proud. “Well then, maybe it’s best if we don’t marry. Obviously, we don’t know one another well enough to make such a commitment,” I said, sounding proud of the indifference in my tone.
“Don’t know each other?” he scoffed. “What is it you don’t know about me, Princess? All you need do is ask, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” His voice was at a near roar, and he was quite magnificent in all his Viking glory. “What don’t you know that is worth throwing away what we have?”
Magnificent or not, I wanted to scratch his eyes out. They flashed at me in anger and hurt, and I wanted to scream, ‘This isn’t my fault! We aren’t sitting here arguing because I bathed naked with a beautiful Norsewoman!’
“Or did you just get scared and are using this as an excuse to scurry home?” he asked in a softer, taunting voice.
Bastard.
I surged to my feet, knocking the chair to the ground behind me. “I don’t know you as I thought I did, Torben. For example, I didn’t know you made it a habit to bathe with women who aren’t your wife!” My voice reverberated off the walls as I gave in to the emotions I’d so desperately tried to keep under control. “And hell yes, I’m scared, but I don’t turn belly-up and crawl away in the face of my fears. I do know when to concede a position, though, if there is a better course of action.” The last I was able to get out in a much calmer, more controlled voice, sounding less like I wanted to hit him with the blunt side of an axe.
Apparently, my calm voice was not appeasing. “Where is your backbone? Where is the woman who stands up to men like Cathal? Where is the woman I met months ago and fell in love with?” His words came out like a boom of thunder and struck at my heart like piercing lightning. He was a storm, and he was tearing me apart.
“She’s broken,” I screamed, my breath coming out fast. My hands were fisted at my sides, and I was leaning slightly forward as though challenging him to contradicted me. “The woman you speak of had her heart shattered by the loss of one of the people she loved most in this world. The woman you speak of has endured her throat being slit, her sister being molested, her life being completely turned upside down. Where is her backbone, you ask? It’s in the bottom of the river where you bathed with another woman. There’s no fight left in her!” I paused and then clarified, “There’s no fight left in me. I’m not strong enough, at least not right now.” My shoulders slumped as all the anger drained out of me, leaving only pain.
Torben stepped around the table and stood directly in front of me. He cupped my face in his large, calloused hands and stared into my eyes. “Then let me be strong enough for both of us. Because I won’t give you up, I won’t give us up, not without one hell of a fight. I’ll burn every ship within twenty miles of our clan if you attempt to sail away. I’ll shackle you to my side where you belong. I’ll do anything you ask except give you up.”
He wiped the tears streaming down my face with his thumbs and then wrapped a strong arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. His other hand ran up my back until it was fisted in my hair. He had complete control of where I could look, and he was making sure my attention was directly on him.
“What you saw at the river is not uncommon for our male and female warriors. We often bathe in groups. I’d never considered how it might appear to someone outside of our clan, but I assure you, there was nothing sexual about it. There was nothing intimate about it.”
“And what I heard?” I practically whispered.
“What you heard wasn’t a declaration of love from Freya, nor was it any consideration on my part of what is in the best interest of the clan.”
I waited for him to continue, but he simply stared down at me. The bloody brute was going to make me ask.
“What was it, then?” I asked as calmly as I could.
“It was a clan member—a natural leader—offering to fill a position in the clan in order to keep us unified and strong. She isn’t aware of my feelings for you, and I wasn’t going to tell her under those circumstances because I want to make my feelings known to the entire clan at one time.”
“After I left, what was your response to her offer?” I tried not to say the word ‘offer’ in a way that sounded like she’d been ready to have him throw her on the nearest bed to start making heirs.
“I told her that I respected her for how she loves her people and wants to keep our clan strong, but that I had no intention of marrying a woman I did not love. Freya is a friend and comrade, but that is all she will ever be.”
“And how did she take it?” Yes, I wanted to know. I supposed I was hoping I’d be able to gauge whether she had feelings for Torben from her response, feelings that reached beyond friendship.
“She said there were no hard feelings, but if I changed my mind and she was still unmarried, the offer stood. Then I dressed and left.”
“And came to me,” I said.
He nodded and pressed his forehead to mine. “And came to you. You’re the one I will always return to.” Torben pressed his lips to my forehead and then pulled me closer, resting my head against his chest. “I am sorry that my actions hurt you. I was ignorant of how they might be perceived by someone outside our culture. When I see it from your point of view, I must say, I’m quite impressed with how composed you kept yourself. If I had walked
upon you bathing naked in a river with another man, I probably would have killed him and then asked you what was going on.”
I smiled and turned my face into his chest. He smelled clean, with a hint of pinewood—all male. We stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the crackling of the fire and the murmuring of voices down in the village the only sounds besides our breathing. After a while, he spoke again.
“This feels so good. After the river, I was worried you’d never let me touch you again,” he admitted, sounding pained by the idea.
“I wouldn’t want a life without your touch,” I said, pulling back to look up at him. “It would be a very cold existence.”
“Then don’t live one without me,” he said, staring into my eyes as though he were searching for my soul. Torben released me and then picked up the fallen chair. He guided me into it and then knelt down in front of me, his hands resting gently on my hips. “Princess, I need to ask you something.”
Pride grows within the fool if he acquires wealth or a woman’s love. He never gains wisdom, but only goes on more and more arrogant.
~ Hávamál, Book of Viking Wisdom
She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. In her anger, in her joy, in her sorrow, she was simply breathtaking.
“What do you need to ask me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Her hair was loose around her shoulders and back, and the dress she wore—most likely given to her by Rainah—clung to her in all the right places. She was small and yet so much stronger than she realized.
“Marry me,” I blurted out before I could formulate a more eloquent response.
She grinned. “That, Viking, was not a question.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, unable to stop my answering smile.
“Pretty sure that a question requires an answer, and saying, ‘Marry me,’ doesn’t imply that you need an answer.”
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I found myself wanting to beg for her to put me out of my misery. She knew exactly what I needed to hear, answer to a question or not. But if she needed me to clarify, then, for her, I would.
“Allete Auvray, since the moment I met you, I knew that you were special. Not just because you were the fulfillment of a prophecy, but because of who you are. You are kind, intelligent, beautiful inside and out, and selfless. I don’t deserve you, but I would be humbled beyond words if you would be my wife. Will you take me as your husband?”
Allete’s bottom lip trembled as she looked down at me, kneeling before her. As she reached out her arm and pressed her small hand to my cheek, she smiled at me through the tears that were now flowing freely down her red cheeks. “I would be honored,” she finally answered after far too many heartbeats.
I leaned forward, took her face in my hands, and pressed my lips to hers. I meant for it to be a small, quick kiss, but the moment our lips touched, I lost myself in her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to the edge of the chair, pushing her legs apart so I could fit in between them, pressing my chest tightly against hers. Our blended moans were like an aphrodisiac as she tilted her head and opened her mouth. When I felt the quick, tentative swipe of her tongue, I groaned and responded in kind, pushing my own tongue into the cavern of her mouth, tasting her, and savoring every tiny sound she made. My fingertips skimmed the ridges of her spine as I ran them up her back until one hand was buried in her hair and the other wrapped around the back of her slender neck. With every breath, I could feel her breasts press against my chest, and I was sure I’d never before endured such sweet torture. Allete tasted like honey, smelled like a field of flowers, and her skin felt like the softest silk. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get enough of her.
Her hands slowly made their way up my arms to my shoulders and then up my neck. Once they reached my head, her nails dug into my scalp as she gripped my hair. I could feel the tension in her body grow as she pulled herself closer to me. Her thighs clamped down against my ribs, and I couldn’t help but grin at the aggressive move. Each time she pulled away from the kiss, her tongue would lick out across my lips before I would drag her back in. She was teasing me, and I loved it.
“By the gods, woman, I wish the vows were already spoken,” I murmured against her lips as I continued to kiss and nibble at the plump flesh. Allete let out a breathy moan. With what appeared to be great effort, she pulled her head back, away from my lips. I didn’t approve. “Come back, Princess,” I growled as I attempted to pull her head to me.
Allete shook her head at me, a sly grin forming on her kiss-swollen lips. “I think we need to cool off,” she said in a voice that dripped sensuality.
“Then you shouldn’t speak right now, because your voice is making me want to rip that dress from your luscious body.” She gaped at me, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“So what now?” Allete asked as I pulled her toward the fur-covered bed. Her eyes widened a little, and I grinned at her, knowing I probably looked like a hungry wolf.
“Now, we get some rest.”
Her brows rose. “Just rest?”
I tapped the end of her nose with my finger and nodded. “Yes, love. Just rest. You’ll need it for the wedding night.”
Allete’s eyes widened. “What?” she practically squeaked out. “When?”
Before I answered her question, I pulled her down to the bed and removed her shoes. I buried my fingers into her loose locks as I had been longing to since I’d laid eyes on her. The strands were silky, and I tried to be gentle as I ran my fingers through them, attempting to untangle it. “I would like for us to marry before we pursue Dayna.” Her body tensed, but I continued to run my fingers through her hair, keeping the methodical rhythm going. “I’m not trying to rush you, but I have a gut feeling that we need to complete this bond that Myra and my mother told us about. And I will admit that I want to make you mine.”
“I am yours,” she said, turning her head slightly to meet my eyes.
“As I am yours,” I said, “but I want to be yours in every way possible between a man and his wife.”
Her face flushed a beautiful, rosy-red color. I ran the tips of my fingers across her cheek, down her neck, and across her collarbone. “You’re lovely,” I murmured, leaning forward to press my lips to the tender skin beneath her ear. Allete tilted her head to the side, giving me better access to her beautiful neck and shoulder. I would’ve liked to have said I didn’t take advantage of the situation, but that would have been a complete and total lie. I pushed her hair from her shoulder, baring more of her skin where the top of the dress didn’t cover the back of her neck. My teeth grazed her flesh, and my tongue darted out, tasting her silky skin. She tasted better than the ripest fruit. Like an animal, I growled as I pulled her down onto the bed with me. I pulled her back against my chest, spooning myself around her. My arm wrapped around her waist and rested on her stomach.
“Torben.” Allete’s husky voice filled the small space as I continued to assault her senses with my lips and hands.
“I love you, Allete,” I murmured. Slipping the top of her dress down, I bared her shoulder. I propped up on my elbow as I leaned closer. “It drove me crazy being separated from you.”
“Believe me,” she sighed, “I understand the feeling.”
“You missed me?” I asked, my lips turning up in a small grin.
She laughed. “Now you’re just fishing for compliments.”
“I am,” I said shamelessly. “I want to know my woman wants me and needs me as much as I need and want her.” I pressed closer to her, our bodies touching all the way from our feet to where my lips pressed to her skin. “Do you need me, Allete? Do you want me?”
“Gods, yes,” she moaned.
That sound, her words, nearly ripped away all of my noble intentions. I was ready to bed her, married or not, but I forced myself to pull away. I kept an arm wrapped around her waist as I settled down next to her and buried my face in her hair. “We better sleep, unless you want me to go and get th
e priest to marry us now.”
“Sleep,” she said quickly.
My chest rumbled as I swallowed down my laughter. Silly woman. Little did she know, I planned to marry her in two days’ time. I imagined the surprised look on her face when I told her. She would no doubt want longer to prepare for a wedding, but we didn’t have the luxury of time. Clan Hakon was on the brink of war, not only with Cathal, but possibly Calder’s clan as well. With the potential for all hell to break out at any moment, I wasn’t going to waste a single second of my life with Allete. I wanted to start living it with her. There was no point on waiting for things to calm down. After losing Dayna and Hilda, I was keenly aware of how fleeting this life truly was.
“Torben?”
“Yes, princess?”
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“For what, my love?” I asked.
“For being willing to go after my sister, regardless of the fact that we don’t know for sure whether she is alive.” Her voice broke on that last word and I pulled her tightly against me.
“I wouldn’t expect you to let her go without knowing for sure and I sure as hell wouldn’t leave her in the hands of our enemies regardless of her state.”
“And that, my Viking, is why you have my heart, my loyalty and my very soul. I love you, Torben,” Allete’s voice whispered into the room that was growing darker as the lamps burned out.
The fire was still giving off a decent amount of heat, but it was growing smaller, so I pulled the furs up around us and snuggled closer to my bride. “I love you, too, Princess. Sleep tight.”
I held Allete’s hand as we stood in the center of the village. I could feel her nervous energy. To everyone else, I was sure she appeared poised and confident. She was well versed in the etiquette required to be a leader, and she knew how to portray strength even when your knees were knocking under the stress of the unknown. Standing there next to her, I’d never been prouder. She was strong, beautiful, and resilient. I had no doubt that she would be the perfect helpmate to me.
