“Mrs. Jackson, please will you at least give her my phone number?”
Mrs. Jackson didn’t know what to do. After a few seconds of silence she relented and wrote Stiles’s phone number down on the message pad that was close by the phone.
“Thank you, Mrs. Jackson.” Stiles felt somewhat uplifted that she’d agreed to take his number.
“I’m taking your number, but I will not call her on three-way, and I don’t know how you could ask me to do that to my daughter anyway without her knowing about it. As for giving her your message and phone number, I’ll have to think about it. Good-bye,” she said and hung up the phone.
Stiles hit the button to end the call as well. He had done what needed to be done. It was hard, and he felt lower than scum when he heard the hurt that was still present in Mrs. Jackson’s voice. Stiles finished putting the syllabus online, and then followed by reading his nightly scripture. When he hit the bed, he fell asleep from pure exhaustion, and to think, it was only Monday.
Chapter Thirteen
“Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.”
~Miles Franklin~
Rena slowly opened up a space in her heart and reserved it for Robert. Their relationship had taken a rather positive turn. He didn’t pressure her anymore for premarital sex, nor did he try to convince her to define their relationship, other than the two of them being good friends. Rena filled spots of loneliness in Robert’s heart, and he did the same for her. It was refreshing not to be plagued with thoughts of her past. The past seven months had been blissful for Rena. There continued to be times when she thought about Stiles and what was going on in his life, but she reminded herself that it was a part of her past. It was something that could no longer be rekindled, and with each day she spent with Robert, she came to the realization even more. As for Francesca, Rena prayed for her safety and well being constantly. Francesca would always be in her heart and stamped in her memory. Not because of their relationship, but it was because Francesca had been her friend; her best friend at that.
The church Rena attended played a positive role in her life. It offered her a fresh start in Andover. It had been almost a year since the nasty breakup, and it was time for her to leave the past where it was; in the past. At first she attempted to reintegrate herself at the church where her parents raised her, but she had outgrown its traditionalism and needed somewhere that she could fit in. Grace Baptist turned out to be the right place. Robert had invited her to attend the medium sized church family and she had agreed. She was glad that she did because everything about Grace Baptist spoke revitalization, restoration, and redemption. The pastor was close to her and Robert’s age, and his message was befitting for today’s times.
Almost every Sunday, Rena met Robert at church after he’d dropped off his children in the children’s church area. After church, they often went to lunch before going their separate ways. Rena formed a close bond with Robert’s children, and finally, life in Andover seemed to be going well for her. She became involved in the greeters’ ministry, sports events at Andover Mass, and spending time with Robert and her parents. Life appeared good.
Rena relaxed at home after attending a football game at school. She sat in her Boston recliner, pulled a throw over her legs, and watched one of her favorite weekly sitcoms she had recorded on TiVo. Her eyes drooped as the call to sleep began to overtake her. The sound of her house phone startled her and stopped her head nod bobbing. She looked at the time; it was almost 10:30 at night. When she saw her parentsphone number flash on the caller ID, Rena hurriedly picked up the phone, afraid that something terrible had happened. “Hello, Mom, Dad, what’s wrong?” she asked before the caller had time to say one word.
“Calm down, honey. Nothing has happened. I’m sorry to cause you alarm, but settle down. I had to call you tonight. I didn’t think you’d want me to wait until morning,” her mother said in an edgy voice.
“What? Tell me what’s going on,” responded Rena, still somewhat panicky.
“You won’t believe who just called here asking about you.” A nervous knot formed immediately in the pit of Rena’s belly. The first thought that came to mind was Francesca. Francesca could be the only person bold or desperate enough to track her down. If she was in jail, it would be too bad because Rena was determined not to go down that road ever again. She wanted Francesca out of her mind, her heart, her everything - forever.
“Mother, if Francesca calls again, please do not tell her where I am. I don’t even want you to tell her that I’m back in Andover. If she comes here, I’ll move. I can’t have her in my life ever again,” Rena started blurting out hysterically. In a flash, she could see the hurt on Robert’s face and the embarrassment Francesca could cause on her job and in her life, period.
“Hold on, hold on; stop it, will you?” her mother insisted. “It wasn’t Francesca.”
Rena released a heavy sigh of relief. “Then who was it?”
“Stiles, honey. It was Stiles who called.”
Rena held her hand against her chest and gasped. “Stiles?” She couldn’t identify her feelings at the time. Hearing Stiles’s name being called, other than in her head, proved to be electrifying. “Mother, did I hear you correctly?” asked Rena.
Yes, dear. You heard me just fine. I’m just as shocked as you. When I heard his voice, I didn’t know if I felt angry, mad, hurt, or what. He’s caused you so much pain, that I wanted to reach through the phone and give him a swift kick in the you know what,” Rena’s mother said.
“What did he want?” Rena ignored everything her mother said except the name, Stiles. Her heart raced. Her mouth became dry. She stroked the arm of the chair in a nervous manner.
“He said he wanted to talk to you. Asked me if I would give him your contact information. “
“What did you tell him?”
“What do you mean, what did I tell him. You know that I told him, no. Just think about it. The unmitigated gall of that man. After putting you through all that he did, and now he wants to all of a sudden call here and ask about your whereabouts. I’m glad your father didn’t answer the phone. That’s all I can say,” her mother said. “You and I both know he would have given Stiles more than an earful.” Anger ripped over the phone from her mother’s voice so strong that it transferred to Rena.
“I don’t know what he wants, and I really don’t care to hear what he wants. The divorce is over and done with.” Rena paused before she spoke again. This time her voice resonated fear instead of anger. “Mom, what if…what if he has… you know.” Rena stopped. She didn’t want to think the unthinkable. She silently prayed that Stiles wasn’t calling to tell her he had an STD. It could very well be. Sometimes it takes months, even years before a person knows that they have an STD. “Mother, I’m scared.”
“Honey, I don’t think that’s why he was calling. He was far too calm for that. He sounded almost pitiful, like a little lost boy. He was polite to me and apologetic for the hurt he caused our family. But I just couldn’t receive it, honey. I mean, I know we’re supposed to forgive, and I took him before the Lord a long time ago. It’s not that I have any iniquity or a grudge against him, but I just don’t want him back into your life again to bring up the past. Let sleeping dogs lie is what I say.”
Rena teared up. She curled her freshly shaved legs underneath her bottom and pulled the throw around her neck. “Momma,” whispered Rena, “did he say why he wanted to get in touch with me?”
“No, he just sounded sad.” Her mother’s angered voice had subsided and changed into the calm after the storm. “Do you know he wanted me to call you on three-way, but I refused. I couldn’t do you like that. If you decide you want to talk to him, that’s on you. I’m not one to interfere in your life, Rena, or try to tell you what to do. I never have, and I never will.”
“I know that, Momma. And you don’t know how much I thank you for that. You’ve never judged me or even given me a reason to feel bad about myself or the decisions
I’ve made in life. I’m so grateful for you. But this time, I need you. I need you to tell me, to help me. I don’t know what to think.”
“He left a contact number. He asked me to call you and give it to you. He wants to talk to you. He did say that he wasn’t calling to make trouble. I hope he means what he says. God knows enough trouble has surfaced dealing with that family to span a lifetime,” said Rena’s mother. “Do you want the phone number that he left?”
“I don’t know.” Rena twirled her fingers through her hair. After seconds in thought, she said, “Yes, I’ll take it. But I don’t know if I’ll call him,” she quickly added.
“All I can tell you is to pray about it before you do anything, honey. Prayer never fails. Talk to God and seek clear direction. I’ll be praying too. If you want to talk more about it tomorrow or whenever, then you know I’m here for you.”
“Thank you, Momma. I love you so much.” Rena twisted her body slightly and reached for the pen and paper sitting on the end table next to the chair. “I’m ready. Give me the number.” She wrote it down, and after chatting for a few minutes, Rena ended the call.
Rena twirled the piece of paper with Stiles’s number on it over and over in her hands like she was kneading dough. She stopped, looked at the number, and then looked at the phone. She looked at the time on her table-sized grandfather clock. Memphis was an hour behind Andover. Stiles, if he hadn’t changed his routine, was probably still awake and watching the news. She could call him and use the code that would block out her number. Rena picked up the phone and dialed the first few numbers on the paper. Before she finished dialing, she hung up.
“God, help me. What do I need to do? What is your will? Should I call him or not?” Rena almost dropped the phone when it started ringing. “He..Hello.”
“You asleep?” the soothing voice asked on the other end.
“No, I just got off the phone with my mother,” replied Rena. “I thought you would be asleep by now,” she told Robert. “Are the kids down for the count?”
“Yep, and I’m about to hit the sack myself. You were on my mind, and I thought I’d call to tell you to have a good night. That’s all,” Robert said in his gentle tone.
“I hope I do. Robert,” she called his name affectionately.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, obviously detecting some change in her voice.
“Stiles called my momma tonight. He wants to talk to me. I don’t know why he wants to talk to me now, and I really don’t know what to do,” she said in a tearing voice.
“Hold up, don’t get yourself all worked up for nothing. Maybe he misses you, Rena. You are a good woman. Any man in his right mind can see that,” he said.
“Thank you, Robert. You’re such a good friend to me. I don’t know what I would do without you and my parents. I’m just nervous and uncertain, is all.”
“And I understand that. I would be too if I were you. If one day my kids’ mother called or showed up on my doorstep, I would freak. The only advice I can give you is to follow your heart, Rena. Pray before you act because what you fight you ignite.”
“Robert!”
“Stop, Rena. There’s no need to say another word. Get off the phone and try to get some sleep. You’ve had a long day, and you can’t process everything that’s happened all at one time. God will direct your path if you let Him, trust in that. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow at work, okay?”
“Okay. Robert?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks again for being such a good friend. G’night,” said Rena and hung up the phone.
She followed Robert’s and her mother’s suggestion and went to bed. Before she slept she bowed down before God and praised and petitioned Him on behalf of others as well as herself. She didn’t want to act too hasty when it came to Stiles. Whatever it was that Stiles wanted to talk to her about would have to wait for at least another day.
Rena awoke to the silent sound of snow falling outside of her window. The weather was one of the things she always loved about Andover. Here it was, late fall, and it was already snowing. The first snow of the season. She stood at her bathroom window and peered out at the soft, but big flakes as they fell and draped the grounds and streets like a pure white blanket. She loved the way God showed His majesty in all things great and small. Following her routine, Rena took a bath, applied her skin lotion over her body, groomed her hair, and put on a dab of her favorite perfume and lipstick. She believed in the all natural look, so she didn’t indulge in facial makeup, powders, and such. A touch of lipstick or gloss suited her hue just fine.
Since it was snowing and the temperature on her outside thermometer read thirty-eight degrees, Rena went to her walk-in closet to find the perfect outfit. She settled on a long sleeved, empire peri-dot jersey dress that stopped above the knees. Rena was a fashionista, so it was natural for her to expertly match the dress with leggings and a pair of flat heeled black suede boots. The cocoon cardigan was not too heavy, but just right for the weather outside.
It didn’t take long for Rena to finish dressing. Before leaving, she went into the kitchen, smoothed a smidgen of butter on her blueberry bagel, and poured hot cider tea into her hot/cold tumbler. In weather like this, Rena was thankful for blessings like having a garage, which could go for a hefty price in Massachusetts. She took a small nibble from her bagel while she climbed inside her car and dashed off for a day of work at Andover Mass.
When she pulled into the staff parking lot, she spotted Robert’s car right away. He was definitely an early bird. Knowing him, he’d probably been at school for at least half an hour, if not more. He loved his profession, and he was quite good at what he did. She stopped by his classroom to see if he were inside. He was.
With a broad smile, Rena positioned herself inside Robert’s classroom. “Good morning, Dr. Becton. Tell me, did you pray for this beautiful snow?” she asked him, with her bundle of items in her hands, including her remaining tumbler of cider.
“Nope, I thought you were the one who called on the big man,” Robert said and pointed up toward the sky. His smile was fresh. He walked to where Rena stood. He relieved her of some of her items which included books. Without saying anything, he closed his classroom door and proceeded walking alongside her to the library.
“How did you rest last night?” he asked.
“Fine, actually. Thanks for asking,” was her reply.
“I prayed for you. You know I thought about that call from Stiles. Maybe the guy just wants to beg for your forgiveness. You know, start a clean slate. People do make mistakes, you know. And listening to what he has to say doesn’t mean you’re making a lifetime commitment to the guy. Who knows? It might relieve some of the weight from your beautiful, delicate, little shoulders,” he said and used one hand to squeeze her shoulder gently.
Rena laughed. She was quite ticklish, and Robert knew it. “Will you stop it already,” she said while laughing.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do, or not do?”
“Not really. But I’m leaning toward calling him. I can’t stand thinking all of these crazy thoughts about the reason he may be calling. I’m not ready to play head games with him, Robert.” They approached the library, and Robert opened the door for Rena.
“Robert, I don’t want to go backward. Things are opening up for me in Andover. I have a great job. I’m close to my family, and I’m closer to my older siblings.” She walked over to her desk and plopped the rest of her things on top of the pile that she’d left there from the day before. She sat down and took a swig of her cider and a bite of her bagel while Robert placed the items he had of hers on the floor next to her chair.
“Okay, let’s think this out. You have a great job, close to family and—”
“And I love my church family. Oh, oh, oh,” she said and pointed one finger upward, “there’s you and your kids. I’ve fallen madly in love with Isabelle and Robbie. And you’re like the coolest guy in the world; my best friend, my confidante, my rock of
Gibraltar, and need I continue to stroke your ego, sir?” Rena laughed and so did Robert.
“No, quite frankly, I thought you were just beginning. I have so many astounding and wonderful attributes you know,” he said, but certainly not in a prideful manner. He stood up and then leaned slightly and kissed Rena’s hair. “There’s no guessing to it, Rena. You know how much I care about you, and how much I would like our relationship to be more than casual friends.”
Rena stuttered. “I . . . I know, Robert. Please, let’s keep things like they are for now. I don’t know if I’m ready to jump into another serious relationship. And you, well you might be on the rebound. You’ve got a lot of healing to do yourself.”
Robert nodded. “Still, Rena, I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me. I’ve got your back, and you tell that Stiles Graham, pastor or no pastor, I’ll bust his chops if he tries to mess over my girl.” Robert imitated several boxing jabs.
“You’re so silly. Go on, Mr. Mad Scientist. I’ll see you at lunch.”
“Yeah, see ya, love. Duty calls.” Robert swiftly turned around and walked out of the library.
Rena thought about her and Robert’s relationship. He was everything a woman could want in a man, so why didn’t she want things to go further than they had between them? The first time he tried to kiss her and become intimate, it frightened her. She didn’t want to take the chance of loving any man again. Not after Stiles. Plus, Robert deserved so much more than she could ever give him. Once he found out she had herpes and had been involved in a lesbian affair for umpteen years, he would leave running like he was in an Olympic meter race. No, no matter if she liked him, loved him, or whatever she defined it, there was no way they could be anything but friends. No matter how badly she wanted to see how things could work out between them, she couldn’t stand the thought of doing to him what had been done to her.
She looked at the time. It was far too early to call Memphis. Maybe this afternoon she’d give Stiles a call. Until then, she had plenty to do to keep her busy throughout the day.
My Son's Ex-Wife: The Aftermath Page 11
